SPECIAL ROUTE 1: A LIFETIME WITHOUT YOUR GHOST

(Arma: Yes, I will stay.)

He still remembered the words fondly. The unassuming sentence which as it turned out would provide him with the meaning he had unknowingly sought.

The biggest obstacle, in the beginning, had surprisingly enough been Manila…

(Arma: It was you who said that it was up to me to decide what I wanted to do. Well, this is my decision, I can't see why you would be opposed to this. I feel like I can do something here, be someone and help these people.)

She was frustrated, angry, that much was plain to see. It was an expression Manila hadn't made because of him thus far, her lips quivering and her green cheeks turning red as her eyes glared at him.

(Manila: Master! This is not what I had in mind! I can't believe you would want to settle down at the very first opportunity! Don't you see… don't you understand? I too have things I want to do… I too have a wish…)

He thought about her words for a moment that stretched on as the minutes passed. And then he came to his solemn conclusion.

(Arma: ...Is that wish more important than the children we have met here, than what we could give these people?)

Manila turned silent and cold, not of embarrassment but with a frozen look upon her face.

(Arma: If so… then yes, I will abandon my decision and do whatever it is that you want. For some reason, my heart tells me that I owe you that much.)

(Manila: I guess that…)

If the green apparition had not answered in the next second Arma knew that the pained expression upon her face would break his heart and he would have no choice but to abandon the people of Aster to whatever fate awaited them without him.

(Manila: No… you are correct. Perhaps I have been blinded to the misfortunes of others by my own… … …perhaps we could create a place for us here. Your intentions are pure, thus I cannot deny you this.)

And so, their life in Aster began, Arma working to build his strength as a protector of the village and Manila taking on the role of a tutor teaching the children.

At first it seemed like the green lady who had entered Arma´s life still held on to some regrets of the past, some wish in a faraway destination, but in time she seemed to be satisfied as she settled in to the life the both of them had now chosen.

~~~

Ten years later Manila stood in her classroom, chiding her assistant teacher who always seemed to arrive late.

(Manila: Saville! I have repeatedly told you to arrive at nine-o'clock, that exact moment! Even the children aren't this disorganized!)

Saville, now a fully grown women of twenty two years, had been working with Manila after her parents made it very clear that it was time she started to support herself.

Her deep purple hair covered her face as she bent her head in shame, an act she had performed many times by now, as many times as Manila had scolded her.

(Saville: I'm truly sorry miss Greeny… it won't happen again.)

(Manila: You say that every time! I have just about had enough of your tardiness.)

The green apparition, looking as young as ever but now permanently wearing a pair of scholarly-looking glasses and with her hair made up into a bun, was not truly angry and Saville knew this.

The children watched on with looks of equal boredom and entertainment as the pair went through their usual charade.

(Manila: Hmf! Well, our pupils are waiting, let us begin the lesson, assistant!)

Arma was a forest ranger now, and thusly, he was out in the forest; culling dangerous creatures and hunting for food at the same time. It had not taken him long to learn the tricks of the trade and he had grown stronger and more independent as the work required him to.

Manila no longer had to be by his side as he ventured out into the wilds surrounding the village and she had in turn, just as he, devoted her very being to her new role, teaching the children of the village.

Loosening their bond so that each of them could get enough space to be seen as separate entities had been a hard and costly procedure, but in the end it had been worth it.

Everyone had the need to be alone at times, even though they still spent the nights together to keep the contract intact.

As Saville now bowed, clearly aware that their banter had been a performance, Manila turned to address her class with an annoyed look upon her perfect face.

(Manila: Attention class! Today we will speak about the perils of travelling through the Outer Spheres, stay safe!)

~

(Arma: Kodou, Ervine, Steve… make sure to cover me when I engage the bestia. The usual you know, I'm the most suited for close-combat.)

The older demon and the two young men stayed hidden in the bushes as Arma emerged. Readying their crossbows they focused in on the beast as the pale-skinned man drew its attention.

It was a large bestia, known as a teneboar, a magnificent swine resembling something out of a nightmare. Great tusks adorned its dark, ragged face, mad eyes gleaming in its deep sockets.

They had tracked it for about an hour, following the deep impressions it left in the earth as it rummaged through the forest.

Arma readied his weapon, wind gathering in his fist, as a great dark spear, created to impale the flesh of his prey, manifested in his hand.

(Arma: Hey stupidhead! Your food is right here!)

The huge boar turned its face towards him, its mouth slobbering with saliva as it looked at him with an insane and hungry expression.

Then it charged, stampeding across the undergrowth of the forest, tearing plants and roots asunder as well as smashing rocks to bits as it ran.

(Teneboar: WraaoooOOOOOH!)

Arma threw his great spear, launching it with a magnificent force that spun it through the air. When the tip of the spear connected with the forehead of the beast it dug deep and exploded.

He had never fully learned to create tools that did not break without Manilas assistance, but in time, Arma had taken that disadvantage and honed the explosion and the damage created when his manifestations burst into non-existence to turn his weakness into something quite dangerous.

As the impact of the spear ruptured the front of the teneboars face Armas companions fired their crossbows, bolts flying through the air towards the beasts still functional eyes.

(Arma: Draw your weapons, we have him! Abyssal blade!)

The bolts struck true and now blinded the great swine started stomping the ground around him, his mad roars increasing in furiosity as it rose up upon its hind legs.

(Teneboar: WRAAOOOOOOOOH!)

(Kodou: Fuck yeah!)

His three companions had each drawn their own tool of choice, Kodou armed with a cutlass, Ervine grasping a pike and Stevanim holding two small axes in his reddish hands.

Ervine was the only one of the team that, just like Arma, created his weapon by gathering wind, his great blue pike manifesting at the same time as Armas own blackened blade.

(Ervine: S...sure hope this works, probably not!)

(Steve: Ahoy lads! Drinks are one me when we return to the village!)

The sharp blade of the cutlass pierced the teneboar's belly, pulling out its intestines with a malicious hook sticking out from the edge of the blade as the two axes landed in its throat and Ervine’s long pike sunk deep into the chest of the beast .

Armas own abyssal blade was just about to finish the job when the creature opened its mouth, or what remained of it, to an unnatural degree, breaking its bones like twigs beneath the skin.

(Arma: Little ones on the way!)

The body of the teneboar collapsed in upon itself, its mass being drained from it, as it began spewing out tiny piglets from its gaping maw.

(Teneboar: WrooooOOOOH OOOOH!)

(Piglets: wro wro wro wroh!)

There was no mercy for the offsprings of the bestia, the four hunters cutting them down as they emerged from the husk of their mother.

A wild feast of blood and carnage ensued, the small ones unable to defend themselves in the ways their mother might have been able to, instead desperately trying to escape.

Only one was allowed to run away, to with time grow and prosper so that the hunt could begin again.

(Stevanim: We done yet boss? This ought to be enough I gather, plenty of suckling piggies for a tender feast... Barren sure will be pleased.)

(Arma: Yeah… I think so, let's gather our spoils and return to Aster.)

Dusk would soon be approaching and much more dangerous creatures would emerge in the forest known as Krims Dwelling.

The protector of the ancient village Aster and his men gathered the bodies of the piglets, placed them on the large skin they used carry their prey among their earlier catchings, and stealthily began their trek back to their home.

~~

Back in the village, some time before Arma and his lads had finished their hunt, Manila and Saville waved goodbye to the last of their pupils as they exited their classroom.

The rosy faces of the children always made Manila secretly smile as they left, it was one of the many things Saville had grown to love about her tutor.

(Manila: So then dear Savvy, you did very decent work today, as always. If you could only work on your punctuality you should very well be able to replace me soon.)

(Saville: No miss Greeny, I hardly think anyone could ever replace you...)

The older woman suddenly froze, her eyes looking pained, before she adjusted her expression and gave her disciple a solemn smile.

(Manila: Hmm… you do not know how ironic such a statement is. Look… there is something we have to talk about. Something I have been postponing for far too long...)

The young woman did not know what to respond with. There was something strange in the way Manila had spoken, something wrong in her cadance and the way her eyes reflected Savilles own behind her silver-rimmed glasses.

(Manila: Its just… I can see that my statement has bothered you. Come with me for tea at the house and I will explain everything… and… yes… I will ask you a favor I suppose.)

Afternoon, it was the time of day when the ghastly light of the twin suns behind the towers above Aster began to set, painting the sky with a deep blue color.

It was also the time when most of the inhabitants of the village returned home, or gave in to the pleasures of Anatea and the Crab, ending the hustle and bustle of the day.

As Manila and Saville slowly promenaded through the village towards Armas and Manilas shared home, a small cottage closer to the forest than the rest of the houses in the village, the both of them turned silent.

The young woman felt worried, she felt scared. This was not the usual behaviour of her mentor, both caring and lecturing, this was something else. There was a strange mood in the air, almost foreboding, as if the winds of misfortune blew all around them.

But it couldn't be that bad, could it? This was Manila after all. The green apparition was

the miracle worker who had helped cure the villagers of Aster when a stray strain of the spirit sickness had infected almost everyone in the village.

This was the woman who not only taught the children but had written the curriculum from scratch, the woman who seemed to know everything there was to know.

And perhaps above all, the partner and equal of Arma, the both of them having saved Aster time and time again.

(Drum: Oy.. you be done for the day then lassies? Me cups raised to you!)

Kodous self-proclaimed parent waved to them as they passed his shoddy shack, clearly drunk, as was usually the case. This, just as their “late again” banter was pretty much tradition at this point.

(Manila: Take it easy old-fellow, you know your boy will be sad when you finally drink yourself to death.)

Drum laughed in response, taking a deep swig from his flask as he kept on bellowing from his rocking chair.

(Drum: Dont you be worried now! Aint nuffin gonna keep me dead!)

His laughter followed the two of them as they left the village behind, finally arriving at the house.

~

When Arma and the others returned to Aster the drapings of night had already covered the village in its stars-scattered shroud.

Tonight there would be much festivities at Anatea and the Crab, a great celebration of the successful hunt.

The group had been the main providers of game for both the village and the inn for quite some time, but it was a rare, seasonal, occasion when they could bring in something as delectable as the tender meat springing from a teneboar ready to give birth.

Arma slammed open the two doors leading into the establishment, his companions joining him and dragging the large skin which carried their spoils behind them.

Cheers from all of the patrons of the inn greeted them as they entered.

(???: Arma, lads! You're back!)

(???: Dats a mighty big load yah got there boys!)

(Ervine: It's not that impressive…)

(Arma: Hey Barren! We got some gifts for you!)

The golem bartender moved his thick clay body towards the entrance and met the party with, as hard as it was to decipher, a big hollow smile upon his face.

Barren was, at the best of times, a creature of few expressions, but this was one of genuine satisfaction.

(Barren ...Hrm. Hello. Good work everyone... drinks are… on me.)

(Stevanim: YEEeessssssssireee, I don't have to pay!)

~

Except for Arma and Manila there was another person who lived in the cozy cottage they owned, a small wooden building with a tiled roof and an impressively large chimney.

On the rare occasions when the weather was cold enough for it to snow around the forest, Arma had invited the people he knew to drink in front of the large fireplace belonging to that chimney.

But there was one person who spent their time by the slow roaring fire almost all year round, seated in a cushioned chair and threading the strings of fate upon her loom.

Dinah, the mother of the young weaver with the ivory skin; Darah, had been taken by angels sent by the goddess Rhun many years ago, apparently being chosen for some greater purpose, and Arma had volunteered to take care of the daughter in her mother's stead. Since that time the then girl, now a young woman, had been a part of their household.

Manila had always found it curious how Arma seemed to feel responsible for the children he had saved in the forest, all those years ago, but she, just as he, had been keeping a watchful eye on Saville, Kodou, Ervine and Darah all throughout the years.

Darah welcomed the teacher and her aide as they entered the house and each took a seat in the kitchen. Just as with the rest of the rooms in their home Manilas ghostly touch could be found all over the place, in each detail and decoration that she had chosen. Surprisingly enough she favored old-timey things, quilts, potted plants and small queer figurines.

(Darah: W...welcome home… Manila… And Saville… I see that you are here too.)

(Manila: It is good that you are home, I need to speak to the both of you. Anyhow, how has your studies been going this day?)

(Darah: Oh… oh… oh fine… The wind has been, unusually quiet, but I did catch something… a far away glimpse, a spark… but nothing worth mentioning.)

(Manila: Well then… would you mind making us a pot of tea dear Darah?)

The pale woman, two years younger than Saville, knew that Manila herself of course could not drink, it was just a courtesy that she usually pretended to do so, to be a part of the social niceties.

Darah had lived with both Manila and her master for a couple of years now, slowly learning their peculiarities, and that the motherly apparition made a show of interacting with her environment was just another one of her quirks.

(Darah: Ooooh, oh no… not at all…)

In contrast to Armas general paleness Darah looked like a polished porcelain doll, so smooth that you could see the reflection of the silverware on her skin as she made the table and put a kettle on the stove. She had grown her beige hair long and usually, as was the case today, braided it into a bun, not entirely unlike Manilas.

As the water started its slow boil, Manila began to talk.

(Manila: Let me put this as frankly as I can… I am evaporating. I am turning into nothing.)

For once the green apparition actually appreciated that she could almost fully control how she looked.

(Manila: Saville, Darah… The truth is that I don't have that much time left. It could be today, it could be tomorrow… I know I should have told you earlier… but I could not muster the strength to actually do it… Not until now when its already this late.)

From time to time this ability had made her feel less… less like someone who were actually alive, who truly felt things, whose expressions did not need to be a calculated choice.

(Manila: It was so much easier to just pretend that nothing was wrong… to just pretend.)

But this time she was thankful, thankful that she could say all that she wanted without breaking down completely. That the words could even leave her throat.

(Manila: As I said… here we are and I have a favor to ask of you Savvy. When I disappear, I want you to pursue him… Arma. He deserves to have someone in his life who truly cares.)

Even so… as she saw the look that Saville gave her in that moment, her illusory emerald eyes teared up all the same.

(Manila: Now don't give me that look! I know… I know that you love him, it's not that strange that you've grown to view him in that way… I mean… how couldn't you.)

Darah had not turned away from the stove, intently staring at the wall. Perhaps that was just as well.

(Manila: I just want to make sure… before I go… that he gets a…. a happy ending.)

It took some time before anyone else said anything, Saville turning red as the whistle of the kettle interrupted the silence.

(Saville: What? What are you talking about? Are you dying?! You are dying? Are you fucking kidding with me?)

(Manila: I was afraid you would react this way… yes afraid is all I have been for quite some time now... I have been a coward, a cowardly fool, we could have really made these last moments count if only I hadn't been too scared to tell you.)

The younger woman was just getting started, here eyes blazing with anger as she continued to speak.

(Saville: Pursue him? Do you really mean that? You love him, don't you!? You can't ask such a thing! You can't… you just can't. It is way too… wrong! It's not fair!)

Dutifully, perhaps stunned by the conversation, Darah poured the hot water from the kettle into the cups she had placed upon the table. It seemed as if Saville was just about to throw her cup at the wall.

(Manila: Of course… of course I do. That is why I don't want him to be left alone. That is why I am giving you my blessing...)

Placing a bag of tea in each cup, including one for herself, the white faced girl Darah blushed, as tears ran down her cheeks.

(Saville: I… I don't…)

(Darah: Then… then me…me... me too!)

The weaver took her own seat at the table, grasping the cup in front of her firmly in her hands, even though they were shaking.

(Darah: I… I want him to be happy too… I am not much… but I can take care of him…sniff… I want him. I… I want him. If you are not to be here… then I want him.)

The sudden confession left Manila bereft of words for a moment. This was unexpected. Savilles infatuation with the protector of the village was plain enough for anyone to see, she had been behaving as a puppy being given a bone in his company ever since she had turned into a teenager.

Darah, on the other hand, usually had a very reserved way about her, hesitant to a fault, and was because of this a lot harder to read.

(Manila: Hah… I am sorry Darah… I never thought... I didn't know that you felt like that… But I am glad that you are honest. Both of you… just make sure that he is happy. I leave him in your hands.)

The exchange of words seemed to have removed most of the momentum from Savilles anger and denial, leaving only a still kind of bleakness behind, an empty feeling.

She slowed down to breathe. And then she breathed again. Trying to collect her thoughts, there was only one question, one accusation, that she could not let go of.

(Saville: Does he know?)

(Manila: No… and I don't want him to before I am gone… that… that would be to much to bear.)

~~

Human feelings are never easy. It's never easy to express what you truly feel, what you expect, what you want.

Life is fraught with misery, with the expectation that what you wanted to happen should follow the choices that you made. The truth is that you never know, that is the curse of having a choice, the curse of being part of the humana.

In the end all we can do is either wish or give up, acknowledging that when it all comes down to it, we are powerless. Decisions are not forged, they just happen.

Sargo, the loved one, please grant us the ability to put our failures behind us.

~

At the inn, Anatea and the Crab, one of the greatest institutions of the furthest reaches of the Outer Spheres, the hour was getting late as its patrons dove deeper into their cups.

Arma and his lads had been drinking heavily, Barrens open tab being put to good use.

(Kodou: Fuckin A´ Arma… Things have been so exciting recently… and I'm thinking… it's all because of you!)

(Stevanim: Stop stroking his ego man, it's already grown so large that I can see the bulge!)

(Arma: Come on you guys... We did this together, just as we always do.)

(Ervine: It's true though… you mostly make things less worse.)

(Steve: Holy shit, that is high praise coming from you!)

Arma could do nothing but laugh in response. At some level he had to admit that he liked the praise, the attention, but he never wanted it to become the reason for why he acted like he acted, why he made the decisions he made.

Admiration was fine, as long as it was tempered by his own humility, that was the conclusion he had come to a long time ago.

The good feeling, the feeling of being complete, did not come from the thankfulness of others, it came from being of help in the first place.

(Arma: Team effort! Team effort! I would have died long ago if it wasn't for you guys, suffocating on my own vomit in this very chair!)

(Steve: Aye, cheers to that. Bloody Team Effort, we should brand ourselves. Make an “effort” of it heh.)

(Ervine: Yes… but let's focus on these drinks for now, and try not to choke.)

(Steve: Wait a minute Ervine! Did you really just make an actual joke?!)

~ ~

The hour was way past midnight when Arma finally returned home. He was drunk, barely able to stand up and yet he had managed to stumble all the way back to the cottage.

Inside the house it was silent, clearly Darah was asleep, otherwise you could often hear the sound of her knitting even late at night from the living room.

He wondered if Manila would chide him, she usually acted petulant when he had been out drinking all night, but this was a special occasion after all, perhaps she would understand.

Still… a disappointed Manila was a sight to behold, her eyes could freeze water or light the fire of a stove.

As he slowly crept up the stairs to the second floor he could hear a faint noise coming from one of the rooms. A soft quiet sobbing, as if someone tried to drown the sound of their cries in a pillow.

As far gone as he was in his stupor it did not take a genius to figure out that it came from Darah's room.

He would have asked her what was wrong but it would have probably done more harm than good in his current state. Arma promised himself that he would remember it tomorrow, and that he would speak to her then.

Stumbling towards his own chambers he managed to only collapse once but as he opened the door his worst fears were quickly realised.

Manila sat on the end of the bed, watching him with deep intent.

(Manila: Hmf, you are drunk again…)

(Arma: Yes... I know you don't like it. The hunt went well and… we were celebrating.)

(Manila: I know… I don't blame you, I am glad that you had a good time with your friends… master.)

(Arma: Still after all this time… I wish you would just call me by my name.)

(Manila: It's not that I don't want to… Its just…)

(Arma: Yeah… I know. Sorry for bringing it up.)

(Manila: It is fine… Now, to bed with you, you clearly need it.)

Arma collapsed upon the large, soft bed, a bed really meant for two people, and immediately closed his eyes.

While the green woman had gotten to decide most things concerning the rest of the household this was a request he had made. He did not want her to not have a place of rest in her own home, even though that was unnecessary.

(Arma: Man… its at times like this that I wish I could touch you, you know… Its at times like this that I…)

(Manila: Yes… I know. Now go to sleep.)

(Arma: …)

(Manila: Sleep... go to sleep… Arma.)

(Manila: Sleep... you big dummy… I will take my place at your side and grant you my sweet whispers to hold the night terrors at bay. You know I...)

When Arma woke up Manila was gone.

~ ~ ~

In any case… It is not true that time heals all wounds… Time… Time is an anvil.

~

(Mr. TV: Record scratch! Jingle! And then follows the applause... This… ladies and gentlemen! This is one of my favorite endings, this right here! Don't you agree dear audience?! You and you… and yes I see you raising your hand! However… It went a bit quick though, didn't it?

I mean we have hardly had any time to get to know all of these characters, how am I supposed to get invested?! Anyhow, let's start the raffle. All contestants line up! You gotta make it flashy, you gotta make it count! Spin the wheeeeeeeeeeel of fortune!)