《The Rovaldan Lancers》High Paladin Waltz Vonstein - "G.O.L.F" Episode 1
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High Paladin Waltz Vonstein was a formidable fighter. Before ascending to his current position, replacing Randy Hart who had a terrible accident involving a cow and a bull, he had attained many significant achievements. He was the longest serving High Paladin, lasting more than an entire year! He also had battled with The Dark Lord and survived more than any other person in the living history of the order, an entire two times!
In addition, he was the last surviving member of the Rovaldan Lancers sister branch, covering the northern border. Overnight the entire order disappeared, with only a note left behind:
“You are stupid. This is stupid. Border Control sucks, and it makes no sense when the wall is only one meter high. The Rovaldan Kingdom doesn’t even support us.”
Waltz put the note down to propaganda, and narrated that the brothers of the order had likely been killed in a secret attack by The Dark Lord, and completely denied any possibility they fled their duty in order to something actually worthy with their lives.
He had described the note as a “fake news” propagated by a militant enemy seeking to cause discord within the ranks of The Rovaldan Lancers.
He was having a lazy day today, as it was his only day off for the entire year. He had rolled out of bed late, around noon, and had gone for the yearly golfing trip with the rest of the commanders of The Rovaldan Lancers. The High Warden, Ash Burns was there, as was The High Cook, Gerard Mokes and even the Grand Master. However there was a surprise guest who he was not happy about, The Dark Lord himself had shown up to play.
When he questioned the Grand Master on this, he had simply been told:
“Relax, if we are to have peace, we need to understand each other. To understand each other, we have to be inside each other. G.O.L.F is the perfect way to for us to get to know each other before things heat up. Understand High Paladin Waltz Vonstein?”
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“Get inside each other sir? And what is G.O.L.F?”
“Yes, penetration for peace. Hope you brought the lube. G - Girly O - Old L - Lads F- Fun.”
“Uhh okay si…” Waltz ducked as a small white projectile came flew directly through the space his head had occupied a while early.
“Sorry.” The Dark Lord said, smiling cheekily and scratching his head.
The bastard had just launched a golf ball at his head!
“Why you little…” Waltz started walking threateningly toward The Dark Lord.
He was intercepted by the Grand Master who simple put an arm around his shoulders and whispered in hear.
“Remember. Allow penetration”.
Vonstein took a deep breath, forcing a smile on his face.
“No problem Dark Lord. Accidents do happen after all.” Vonstein said in a voice that was meant to be sweet but instead came out as a growl.
“Right then ladies, shall we start?” The Dark Lord asked his three companions from the Rovaldan Lancers, winking at Vonstein and striding towards the first hole, swinging his club in a carefree manner and humming some upbeat tune.
“Bastard” Vonstein muttered under his breath and began following the departing group.
To be continued...
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