The following is an excerpt of an interview with The Dark Lord, published originally in the Rovaldan Herald.

R == Reporter

DL == Dark Lord

R: Thank you for meeting with me and agreeing to this interview today, Mr uh Dark Lord.

DL: No Problem, Darren, I’m a huge fan of your work and the work of The Rovaldan Herald as a whole. The paper is hard to find in The Ruined Land, but when I do get my hands on one, I read cover to cover at least once. I especially enjoyed your coverage on Appleberry Leaks, some juicy stuff in there.

R: Aha….that was ten years ago…

DL: Was it? Well, time flies when your fighting a war I guess!

R: Right. The war, that’s why I requested the interview, I wanted to pick your mind on your motivations. Why you fight? What do you want to achieve? Why are you invading?

DL: Of course. Why I fight? Now that’s rather simple. The stupid Rovaldan Lancers won’t let me pass. The social welfare system in The Ruined Lands suck. We have to PAY stupid taxes such as road maintenance when there ARE no roads here. And I won’t even begin to discuss their terrible cuisine here. I mean who eats snails uhh. All I want is to return home. That’s it. Invasion you say? I just want to get an honest paying job and pay taxes. The standard of living here is truly terrible.

R: Return home? What exactly do you mean by that?

DL: I mean, I haven’t been able to get home in centuries due to that stupid order. I told my son I was just leaving to get a pack of cigarettes and now it’s been nearly two thousand years.

R: Are you claiming to be a citizen of Rovaldan?

DL: Yes! I accidentally crossed the border when they were building that stupid wall to keep the Ruined Land residents out, and they never let me back in. I still remember High Paladin Boris Brown telling me I have to pay for it…. Like what the hell seriously.

R: Haha...Now, why do you go by The Dark Lord?

DL: Ahhh well, truth be told, I didn’t exactly pick it. I wanted to be called Voldewarts, as I got this nasty wart on my lower back, but the name was coined by Boris Brown. It kinda stuck, and it grew on me. My close friends call me Clive.

R: Clive? Is that your real name?

DL: Oh no. Hell no. Who names their kid Clive?

R: uhh right moving on. What do you think your chances are to defeat the Rovaldan Lancers this time?

DL: I’m extremely confident. This time I have selected The Ruined Lands greatest soldiers. We are a formidable force, High Paladin Dic Maroon shall crumble before us like the coward he is, and I can finally get that pack of cigarettes.

R: Well, thank you for your time, Dark Lord, I hope to interview you again.

DL: Anytime Darren, enjoy the holidays.