Celeste stared out from her window. Her father had left her to her thoughts since last night. At least, what she thought was a night. It was hard to tell with this new perpetual twilight. He explained that she would no longer have a need for sleep, but knew that she would need time to adjust. She couldn’t believe the size of the library. She wasn’t big into sports but just by eyeballing the space it looked to be at least half the size of a football field. She could tell by all the years she had been in marching band in high school. The first time that she saw it, it took the words right out of her mouth. Her father had probably read every single one of them more than once. She didn’t know how long he had been here, but knew enough to realize that it was longer than humanity had been around.

Her father had told her that she was welcome to visit anywhere she pleased on his lands. She found herself wondering just how large it was. Celeste longed to learn everything about it. How far did it expand? What were the people like? She hoped that there were more than just the undead. It was a little unnerving getting used to the handmaidens of bone and the zombie-like warriors. She had so many unanswered questions. Her first thought was to visit the library, but her father insisted that she must first fully awaken before she could understand.

He was as kind as he was frightening. There was something there, a fascination with strength and power. He was the sort of man that led the army into the charge, not sit from the sidelines. There was a fierce sense of love and loyalty. Yesterday he had trained for well over ten hours beside his generals. Much to her relief, the generals were at least more human looking. She wondered if it were a sign of rank to have all of your flesh covering your body.

It was obvious that her father demanded what he expected of himself, and yet, that same man didn’t bat an eyelash at her killing a servant girl that had been good to him for years. What did that say about him─ about her? She was, after all, his blood.

If this was who he was, who was her mother? Her real mother. Celeste frowned, looking down at her hands. She had killed a woman, permanently. She had the power to actually do that, to anyone. She should have wept when her father told her that the handmaiden was gone and would never return. She should have, but she didn’t. Who am I? If the other existed─ why was her father so eager to unleash that. Her body convulsed uncontrollably, the chair straining beneath her. What good could come of something whose sole purpose was to destroy? She hoped that her mother’s lineage was enough to balance her impulses. Perhaps that was why she was here, to meet her mother and be trained. Her father had been very quiet over the entire matter and told her that it would become known in time.

Her thoughts wandered to Lain. How was she coping with the loss? Celeste wanted to go back desperately, but her father had forbade it. She secretly hoped that someone else had taken her in. The young girl had so much potential and love to give. You could take her away from that. The thought shook her, but she found that curiously she wasn’t upset. The child would be better off. There was little things worse in this world than family that cared nothing about each other. People stealing money off of their own blood was completely unacceptable. When she got back, that would all change. She had the power to change that. Maybe this new life wouldn’t be so bad after all. She couldn’t quite place it, but there was something different about her─ something indifferent. It was as if all of the rage and hurt had left from her body the moment she woke in the chamber.

She would have welcomed this before. In another lifetime. Celeste was barely even identifying as herself anymore. She was slowly becoming Kiwako, and knew that it was only a matter of time before her human memories were forgotten. Daniel’s eyes flashed in her mind and a slow smile spread across her face. How had he been since she was gone? Hopefully, living his life and happy. It must have hit him hard when she was there and then suddenly gone. There was something about him─ some way that she felt connected to him even now. She found herself longing for more and more. Maybe soon, her father would allow her to surface or let Daniel visit. Of course, he would have to side with her father’s sentiment and her own, but she was certain that wasn’t an issue. They were meant to be.

There had been someone else there before, she could sense it, but couldn’t quite remember. Bits of dark hair and pale grey-blue eyes were all she could recall. Scars─ There were definitely… scars. The thoughts left as quickly as they had come and she mentally moved on. Her Earth father was more than likely exhausting every resource he had to find her. She hoped that Scott above all would quickly move on with his life and find more than her to worry himself over. She could hope, but she knew what was really going to happen. He would search the earth and afterlife looking for her. It was a shame that he had dedicated his life to his family. She silently prayed that he would give up. He deserved happiness and that’s where it needed to end. As much as she wanted to deny what was happening to her, she knew that it was inevitable. Why does it have to be? Celeste snapped at her, after all we are one in the same. We can fight this.

She dismissed her human thoughts and stood suddenly, eager to be rid of them. Kiwako crossed her room and then walked out into the hall. The single corridor that ran from her room was lined with soft yellow lanterns every so many feet. They cast a narrow half-circle of light that kept the space lit, but not bright. She barely glanced at the atrium as she strode over the large, smooth stepping stones. The Japanese maple were beginning to turn colors. She frowned, realizing that it meant they were heading into the fall. It meant that it was at least October. Six months. How time had flown. Kiwako was surprised to find that seasons existed here. She secretly wondered if her father had done it to make her feel at home.

She expertly crossed through the maze of hallways, and then paused before the great hall. She breathed deeply as she stepped into the warm, earthy space. The entire room was covered in trees, greenery and a singular large, clay statue. The first time she had seen this place, she felt how special it was. There was a feeling of wholeness, and purity. It was the kind of room a person could become lost in meditation.

She removed her house shoes and stepped onto the cool pebbles. They gently massaged her feet as she padded to the clearing in the center of the floor. She knelt on the ground and took a long breath before eventually letting it out. The air was pleasant, but slightly humid against her skin. Her gaze shifted to the grand statue before her. The woman stared down at her, the epitome of beauty if there ever were. Her face was smooth, and delicate, her hair so long that it reached the ground. Her kimono was a real jūnihitoe, the long train rippling behind her like water. The multicolored sleeves dipped elegantly, nearly touching the floor. Intricate purple-blue patterns of the twelve-layer kimono were wove together in such a way that they could have been plucked from the night’s sky. Its multi-layered texture was bulky, yet smooth as silk. Atop the woman’s head was a delicate half-crown of gold. The light burst from behind her body, casting a halo.

Mother.

Kiwako wept, finally cleansing herself from her former life. Celeste seemed as if it really were all a persona, or a past life. She looked back at all of the sadness that her life left in her. There was nothing but stress, hurt, loss. How could she have really been so full of that many emotions? It was exhausting. The haunting blue-grey eyes appeared again. Yet, as hard as she focused to remember it was replaced by another. Someone that felt as if they were a part of her. Not next to her, because she couldn’t envision their form, only how they made her feel. Strength, power, completion. It was as if this particular part of her was a piece that was missing. She had a feeling that this is what her father had meant when he said that she would only be able to understand once she was made whole. After some thought, she realized that the girl’s death─ her father’s concubine meant nothing to her. Many things were slipping from her, like sand through her fingertips. There was one thought, first and foremost burning through. She looked up, her mother’s marbled features as proud as they were gentle. She must keep alive what her father had fought for all of these years, building up this world to one day face the enemy. Her sadness was strong, yet fleeting and though it had been virtually eradicated, her emotions still existed in waves. Her real mother was alive.