Chapter 10 September 21st, 2037

I awake drained and stiff a few days later. The room around me is blurry, my eyes are having a problem adjusting. I can hear talking coming from the next room. I struggle to get onto my feet and when I do, I can feel my head spinning. It takes me a few moments to finally get my bearings. I try to shake off the dizziness, but I only make things worse. I drop to my knees, releasing a boisterous thud from the hardwood floor. I can hear footsteps and my heart starts to race. I listen as the handle creaks, the door slowly opening. I have no idea where my sword or gun is and I have no way of protecting myself.

“Oh, my goodness,” Kennedy’s voice calls out from the doorway, “Damian are you alright?”

“Kennedy?” I call out, “why is everything so blurry?”

“Well, firstly you lost a lot of blood from your shoulder,” She answers as she helps me back to my feet, “also you’re probably dehydrated. We’ve only been able to give you minimal amounts of water.”

“How long have I been out?” I ask.

“Almost three days,” She answers, placing a canteen in my hands.

I chug down the entire canteen of water, wiping away the stray drops of liquid from my chin, “Where are we?”

“Maryland, not too far from Baltimore,” She answers.

“Well we certainly got some distance from the bunker,” I say with some amazement.

“Yeah, well Connor kept driving until we ran out of gas,” her voice fading off as she answers me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, my eyes slowly starting to adjust. I can see her staring at her feet almost as if she is avoiding my question, “Kennedy, tell me.”

She looks up, I can almost feel her soft blue eyes staring through me, “most of the survivors didn’t make it, and we only took what we could carry in the van.”

“How many?” I ask upset.

“Of the two hundred?” she asks, “ten.”

“TEN?” I say angrily, “the idea was to save the survivors, not lead them outside to die.”

“We did what we had to do,” Kennedy says.

“But I promised Emmanuel that I would keep them safe,” I say slamming my fist to the floor.

“Yeah well that wasn’t happening,” Connor hisses from the doorway, “there were more Zombies outside than we expected. We did what we could, but those people weren’t prepared.”

“So basically my decision to leave the bunker got everyone killed,” I sigh.

“You can’t blame yourself,” Kennedy says wrapping her arms around me, “those people were doomed one way or another.”

I know her words are truthful, there is no way that many Zombies could be kept out for long.

“What about Penelope and Matthew?” I ask.

“They are both fine,” Kennedy answers, “Penelope and Natalie are going over a few survival techniques. Matthew is unwillingly sitting in, learning a thing or two.”

“Maybe we should head back out there,” I say, “you know to check on everything.”

“Are you sure you’re up for it?” Kennedy asks.

“I’m fine,” I answer.

“You know we can handle things if you want to rest some more,” Connor adds.

“I said, ‘I’m fine,’” I repeat.

They both reluctantly agree to help me into the other room. Connor grabs me by my strong hand and helps me onto my feet. Kennedy presses her hand softly against my back and helps guide me out of the room. There is bright light washing over my face from the hall window.

“I thought it was night,” I say shielding my eyes from the light.

“No, we just blocked the light in the room. With so many people I figured it would make more sense to have some sleep during the day,” Connor answers.

“What about heading south?” I ask.

“To be honest, we didn’t know how long it would take for you to regain consciousness,” Kennedy answers, “or even if you would.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I reply, “not until I know that you are all safe.”

“Just take care of yourself every once and while,” Kennedy says, “for me.”

“I’ll try,” I answer as Kennedy and Connor lead me into the living room.

I enter the living room, Penelope is giving a speech about starting a fire. I stand in the doorway just watching as she tries to describe the task to the other survivors. I chuckle as I continue watching, she starts to get frustrated when no one gets what she is trying to explain. She looks over at the doorway where I’m standing, her mouth hangs open a second before she rushes over to give me a hug.

“I was so worried you wouldn’t wake up,” she says, her voice muffled in my chest

“Of course I woke up, I could never leave you guys,” I assure her.

“Hey who is this clown?” A male survivor asks angrily. He is sitting with his back against the wall, his arms crossed and a furrowed look on his face. He is wearing a dark blue shirt that is full of rips and tears. He also has on black sweatpants that look rather clean, with the exception of the blood stains on the right pant leg.

“This is no clown,” Penelope says defending me, “Chad, everyone, this is our friend Damian. He was the man passed out in the back of the van.”

Matthew stands up, “This is also the man who drove us out of the bunker, killing many of our friends and family.”

“Hey!” I shout getting up into his face, “I made a tough call. Now I’m sorry for the vast loss of souls, but you all would have died down there. At least those who made it out alive have a chance.”

“I hope you rot in hell,” Matthew says sternly pressing his forehead against mine.

“Oh I will, but I guarantee that you will be right beside me,” I smile.

Matthew huffs before walking off. Connor grabs me by the shoulder and tries to pull me away. I shrug him off and walk over to Natalie, “You still mad at me too?”

“About sending us all to our doom? No. I understand why you thought leaving the bunker was the best choice, even if others don’t,” she replies, “about throwing me into the dirt face first, yes.”

“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?” I ask with a half-smile.

“Not until I get even. Or maybe the day you die,” she snickers.

“Then I guess you’ll have to get even, because I don’t die that easy,” I reply, “none of us do.” I say addressing the rest of the survivors, “That’s something all of you need to remember, whatever horrors you have all faced, you have survived. That is the best skill you all have. Trust your instincts.”

“What if they tell you to run and hide?” a girl asks. She has a rather soft voice and it takes me a moment to spot her amongst the survivors. She is obviously the youngest amongst them all with rosy red cheeks and hazel eyes that show the sadness inside her. She has on black jeans and a black t-shirt. Her long blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail held in place by a pink scrunchy.

“What’s your name?” I ask her.

“Stephanie,” She strokes the end of her hair while looking nervously at me, “but my friends call me ‘Fanny’.”

I smile at her, “ok, ‘Fanny’.” She smiles when I say her name, “you asked, what if your instincts ask you to run away right?”

“And hide,” she nods.

“Then your best bet is to run and hide,” I answer, “because if you’re not thinking about killing whatever is coming at you that means you don’t think you can. That isn’t a bad thing, it’s good to know what your strengths and weaknesses are. Just remember that sooner or later, you will have to fight back. The only one in this room that can guarantee your survival is yourself. Count on your friends, but count on yourself more.”

“Anything else?” Fanny asks.

“No, not right now,” I answer feeling tired. I look over at Kennedy, “I think I need to lay down again.”

“Wait,” Matthew’s voice calls out to me as Kennedy takes me by the hand, helping me walk out of the living room, “What if my instincts tell me to stand still and trust God?”

I turn my head back toward him, “Than you are going to die, because out there God doesn’t exist.” I turn back to Kennedy and slowly move out into the hall.

“Thank you for knowing your limits,” Kennedy whispers when we make it out into the hall.

“No, thank you for letting me find it,” I wink.

We get back to the dark room and she helps me into the makeshift bed, “Anything else I can do for you before I leave?”

“If it isn’t too much trouble could I have my backpack, sword, and gun back?” I ask.

“Only if you promise to take it easy,” her voice is stern as she speaks to me, “at least for today. Tomorrow should be easier.”

“I promise,” I answer, “I just feel naked without my stuff.”

She hands me my bag, my sword clasped to the strap, my gun placed inside. She smiles at me uneasily before walking out of the room. I ask her not to close the door so I could use the light to write in my journal. Reluctantly she agrees, but not after some begging. I fill in all the events that had happened the last few days until the pain and tiredness let me drift off soundly to sleep.

Chapter 11 September 22nd, 2037

I awake, not knowing how long I’ve been asleep. I feel slightly better than the last time I woke up. I look around, even in the darkness I can make out a few shapes. I feel the shape closet to me, it’s soft and lumpy and lets out a soft rumble of a snore. I slowly pick myself up, and slowly begin maneuvering my way out of the room. The door creaks slightly as it opens outside of the room there is slight sunlight, but I’m unable to determine whether it is dusk or dawn. There are no sounds in the entire house and I am slowly becoming more aware that I didn’t bring my gun or my sword. The door to the living room doesn’t squeak as much as the one in the bedroom. I can see Connor and Natalie in the room, each taking swings at each other. The only light in the room comes from the fire they have coming from a metal barrel. I watch closely as Natalie dodges a couple of Connor’s swings before delivering one of her own. She gets in a few more punches before Connor is able to grab ahold of her arm and lifts her over his shoulder and drops her on the ground.

“That was a good one,” Natalie says.

“Yeah, well how about this one?” Connor leans down and kisses her, his hands rummaging across her body.

I slowly close the door and back away slowly.

“Yeah they’ve been all over each other the last few days,” Penelope’s voice says causing me to jump up startled.

I turn around and see Penelope standing in the doorway to the left of me, “you scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry. I just heard the door open and I got up to check,” she replies, “the rest of us are in here if you want to join us.”

I nod my head and follow Penelope into the room. The room looks like it used to be an office. A desk sits in the corner, an old dusty computer sits on top, the screen smashed in. Kennedy is sitting in a swivel chair with her head resting on her folded arms, snoring softly. Matthew, Fanny, Chad and Penelope each sit in a semi-circle on the floor, a deck of cards sprawled out in front of them. Chad collects the cards and starts to shuffle.

“How are you feeling?” Matthew asks me.

“Better,” I answer, “but stupid question, is it morning or night?”

“It’s morning,” Penelope answers, “and I can’t wait, my shift ends soon and I can finally get some sleep.”

“You mean you haven’t slept yet?” I ask.

“No, with Connor and Natalie training, and then Scott, Lydia and…” Penelope’s voice trails off.

“And me?” I ask.

“Well yeah,” she says guiltily, “I didn’t mean anything bad, I swear. I just meant you were resting.”

“Penelope,” I laugh, “its fine. I know I haven’t been pulling my weight since the bunker evacuation, but I’m back and I’m feeling great.”

I sit down beside Penelope and Fanny as Chad starts to deal the deck.

“What are we playing?” I ask.

“Go fish,” Fanny says, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

“Wait, why?” I ask.

“Because Matthew won’t play poker,” Chad answers in a mocking tone.

“It is the game of the devil,” Matthew says defending his position.

“Its fine,” I say trying to calm him down.

We play a few hands of cards but I can’t concentrate. My attention keeps turning to Kennedy who is still sleeping.

“She kept checking on you when you wouldn’t wake up,” Penelope says, catching me off guard.

“What?” I ask turning my head from Kennedy to Penelope.

“Kennedy,” Penelope starts, “she kept constant watch on you. She hasn’t really slept since we got everyone out of the bunker. There was a fear in her eyes. Like she was worried you wouldn’t wake up.”

“Yeah, she said I sustained a serious injury,” I nod.

“It’s more than that,” Penelope winks at me, “I think she likes you.”

I look back at Kennedy’s sleeping face. I hadn’t given much thought to love or loving someone again. I watch her face twitch as she sleeps and I can’t help but smile at her. Even if we could fall in love it’s hard to think of how romantic it would be for us, the constant threat of being attacked. The possibility of one of us having to one day kill the other, the thought is almost enough to make me want to push her away.

“Do you like her?” Penelope said.

My head turns back around. Penelope, Matthew, Fanny, and Chad stare at me, each one waiting for my answer, “I, I don’t know,” I say honestly, “I mean, I’ve never even given it a thought before.”

“I think you do like her,” Fanny chuckles, “That’s why you’re blushing.”

“Or perhaps I’m blushing because everyone is looking at me asking me a personal question,” I say defending myself.

“Well what do you feel when you see her?” Fanny asks.

“What?” I ask confused.

“How do you feel when you see her?” Fanny repeats, “What does your instincts say?”

I look at Fanny, “you’re twisting my words.”

“No,” she argues, “I’m just saying your instincts can do more than protect you. They can make you happy too.”

Kennedy’s eyes slowly start to open as Fanny finishes speaking. She offers me a slight smile when she notices me staring at her.

“Hey,” she says softly, “how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. Thanks to you,” I whisper back to her.

“How long have you been awake?” she says with a yawn as she sits up straight in the chair.

“Not that long,” I reply, “but maybe we should think about getting everyone here to bed.”

Kennedy looks down at her watch, “There is still another hour left in the shift.”

“Yeah, easy to say when you’ve been sleeping at a desk,” Chad says snidely from his corner.

“Hey! She has been up longer than you and she does a shit load more for this team then you,” Penelope scolds wagging her finger at him.

“You’re right, because in the last six days any skill that I might have has been questioned to the fullest. You people know nothing about me, or the rest of us,” Chad shouts back at Penelope.

Penelope’s face turns red with anger, “You yell at me again and I swear to god I will…”

“No,” I interrupt, “He’s right.”

“But Damian,” Penelope argues.

“He’s right, they should have been asked if they have any skills that could help contribute to survival. Although he was wrong about being an ass to Kennedy, and if he ever does it again he’ll have to answer to me,” I say staring Chad down.

“Thank you,” Chad says slightly confused.

“So tell us what skills you have,” I say to Chad.

“Well I spent most of my childhood in the boy scouts,” Chad begins, “made it all the way to Eagle Scout. I spent most of my adult life as a scout master until Armageddon happened.”

“Again what skills do you have?” Penelope asks my question again.

“I was a scout,” Chad repeats frustrated, “I can hunt, fish, and make traps. And so on.”

“No offense,” I start, “but basically you’re useless to us.”

“What are you talking about? I have a plethora of skills and abilities,” Chad argues.

“Yes, each of which are all but obsolete. Hunting and fishing are worthless since the virus has infected most of the animals. Traps are a good idea in theory, but trust me if you are running from Zombies or marauders,” I pause feeling Penelope and Kennedy shuddering as I speak, “I can almost guarantee that you won’t be paying attention to where you placed them. The only real skill you have from scouts is ‘be prepared.’”

“How long have you been an asshole?” Chad asked shaking his head.

“As long as I’ve known him that’s for sure,” Matthew comments.

“You know what?!” I snap back, “I may be an asshole, but I have a skill neither one of you have, I can survive out here. I know how to make tough choices that others couldn’t make.”

“Taking us out of the bunker wasn’t a tough choice,” Matthew said, “It was the wrong one.”

“Maybe it was, but ultimately it was my choice and my choice alone, and I don’t have to defend myself to you,” I growl at him. I get back onto my feet and walk out of the room.

I pace back and forth in the hallway frustrated. It doesn’t take long for Kennedy to join me out in the hallway. She closes the door behind her and rests her back against the wall just watching me. I mumble and swear to myself as I continue to pace, my hands flailing wildly as I do.

“You have to calm down you know,” Kennedy remarks.

“No I need to talk to Connor and Natalie about getting everyone on a better sleeping habit for everyone,” I say, “I can’t believe things fell apart this badly after a couple of days.”

“They haven’t fallen apart,” Kennedy says as she walks over to me. Her hands glide under my shirt as she starts rubbing her hands against my chest. Her fingers gliding over each of the scars I have obtained as she smiles at me, “this is just their way of adjusting. You have to remember they had everything come to them so easily to them in the bunker. This is a new world for them, with many new challenges that they are going to have to face soon. They know it and they’re scared, and ultimately taking out their fear on you.”

I smile and place my hands on her shoulders and begin to massage them, she lets out a soft moan as she rolls her head from side to side.

“You always know how to make me feel better,” I admit.

“It’s what I do, I’m the doctor,” she jokes. “You know you have a pretty good touch yourself.”

“Thanks. Just something I’ve always been good at,” I say working my way down her arms.

“So what are you planning to do about the sleep schedule?” She asks ruining the mood.

I pull my hands away and rub them both against my forehead, “I’m not sure yet. But I do know that we can’t stay here forever. It will be cold soon and I don’t want to be caught off guard.”

“Do you think the others will be ready to help us on the road?” she asks.

“Honestly?” I ask biting my bottom lip. She nods yes, a solemn look on her face. “No. I don’t think they are being shown the right things. You, Penelope, Connor, and I have survived so long because we know what to expect. The others have been sheltered for so long… they have no idea what they’re in for.”

“Are we even going to be able to prepare them for any of the challenges?” she asks.

“I’m not sure,” I answer, “Hopefully Connor has a few answers.”

I turn away from Kennedy again, this time taking steps toward the living room door. I knock loudly on the door and wait for a response. Nothing. I look back at Kennedy who shrugs at me. I turn back to the door and pound on it even louder than the last time.

“WHO IS IT? WHAT DO YOU WANT!?” Connor’s voice booms through the closed door.

“It’s Damian,” I respond loudly, “We need to talk.”

I can hear rustling coming from inside the room before the door slightly opens, Connor’s head peering out from the crack, “look is there any way we can talk later? I’m with Natalie in here.”

“We need to talk now,” I say standing my ground, “just give me a minute to get dressed and I’ll come out.”

“Get dressed, and tell Natalie to get dressed and join the others in the office,” I tell him. Connor looks irritated before giving in and closing the door. I look back at Kennedy, “get Penelope. This is something we all need to discuss.”

Kennedy nods and slips into the office leaving me alone again in the hallway. I pace back and forth as I wait for everyone. Penelope and Kennedy come out first. Penelope still looks tired, her eyes barely able to stay open. Natalie comes out after a few minutes, an evil look is plastered on her face as she stares at me, her eyes almost stare right though me. The three of us enter the living room, Connor is standing in front of the fire with his back turned to us.

“What’s so important you had to ruin my night?” Connor says in a deep, unnerving tone.

“Would it help if I say sorry?” I ask.

“No, not really,” he responds.

“Good because I wasn’t going to,” I bark at him.

“What is your problem?” he asks turning around, “I mean basically you’ve been a sleep the last few days. Did you wake up with a grudge?”

“No, actually I woke up lost and confused. I looked in the living room and saw you with Natalie. I can understand that you wanted to be alone with her but did you even think about the other people in this house?” I ask.

“I tried with them. They aren’t willing to train or learn,” Connor argues.

“Maybe not, but you shouldn’t have them on such a serious sleep schedule so soon,” Penelope argues.

“If they aren’t willing to fight with us then the least the can do is learn to sleep like us,” Connor says punching the wall. His face is red with anger, and a vein starts to bulge out the side of his neck.

“Give them time,” Kennedy says softly. She seems to be the only one who hasn’t lost her temper. “They’ve only been here less than a week. They’re not all soldiers you know.”

“And they never will be. I can almost guarantee the first step they take outside gets them killed,” Connor says softly and deeply, “And I can’t stop and protect them all.”

“You can’t expect to protect them. You have to let them learn to defend themselves,” Kennedy says assuredly.

“And you’re not the only one protecting them,” Penelope says, “We are all capable of watching over them.”

We continued to argue in circles for more than an hour. Each of us agreed that arguing seemed hopeless, prompting us to disband from the room without reaching an agreement. Connor stays in the living room, turning his back to us. I go back into the bedroom where my bag and sword were stashed. The bodies that surrounded me when I awoke are gone, my bag is the lone item in the room sitting with my sword against the wall. I grab my bag and shuffle back out into the hall.

“Their gone,” Kennedy cries out as she and Penelope join me back in the hall.

“Who’s gone?” I ask.

“Most of the survivors,” Penelope answers as Natalie and Fanny creep out from behind the office door.

“Matthew told them you weren’t the leader they needed. He promised them salvation if they followed him and God out of this house,” Natalie remarked.

“He’s insane,” I say angrily, “they’re going to be killed out there.”

“Funny because he claimed you were insane and they’d get killed in here,” Natalie laughs.

“Why didn’t you stop them?” Kennedy asks her.

“What do I look like, their babysitter?” Natalie yells, “If they want to be stupid and go out there, it’s their own stupidity.”

“We have to find them,” I say to Penelope and Kennedy.

“What do you want me to do?” Connor asks.

“I don’t know,” I say turning and facing him, “are you sure you’re willing to put your selfishness behind you?”

“It’s not about them. I just feel like killing something,” he grins.

“You’re terrible,” Penelope says shaking her head at him.

“Look we can argue later, if we survive,” I say getting between them. “Why don’t we split into teams of two? Connor, you and Natalie check the right side of the street. Penelope you and I can check the left. Kennedy, you stay here with Fanny. Keep her safe ok.”

“I can help look you know,” She says with a sigh.

“I know you can, but you are needed here in case they are injured,” I say convincing her.

“Fine,” Kennedy says in a huff.

We each grab our guns, I throw my sword over my back as we head for the front door. I look back and notice Kennedy and Fanny watching as we leave, a sad face on both of them. Kennedy puts her hands on Fanny’s shoulders and pulls her inside. I smile at her and she mouths ‘Be safe’ to me before closing the door. Penelope urges me to join her. Connor and Natalie have already taken off down the right side of the street.

“How are you doing?” Penelope asks halfway down the street.

“I’ll be better when we find everyone,” I reply.

We continue on in silence, I can almost feel a little bit of tension between us but I choose not to address it.

“How far are we going to look anyway?” she asks.

“I’m not sure yet,” I reply, “hopefully we won’t have to travel too far.”

We travel a few blocks without seeing or hearing anything. It’s eerily quiet outside, above us a flock of birds are circling causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand on its end.

“Start backing up slowly,” I whisper to her, my arm outstretched as I usher her backward.

Cawing is heard as the flock begins to break formation, each one swooping down at us. They bite and peck as Penelope and I try to flee. I feel intense pain when one of the birds drives its beak into my neck. I let out a loud cry as another one gets me in my lower back. The pain becomes too much, I drop to my knees, my arms flailing trying to repel the killer birds.

“Get to safety,” I yell out to Penelope when she turns around to help me. The entire flock attacking me.

“I can’t just leave you,” she argues.

“Just do it,” I urge, still trying to get free.

Penelope backs away slowly crying, I continue to wave her away. I fight through the pain reaching the handle of my sword and pulling the blade free of the sheath. I swipe ferociously hitting whatever I can with the blade. One after one, pieces of birds drop around me. My muscles are burning but I continue to fight through, my eyes start watering as I start to sob. The pecking stops and tears flow out from both of my eyes. I feel a sensation on my shoulder and I slice my sword backward one final time before hearing the sound of grunting and gasping. I turn around slowly before noticing Chad’s face, blood spilling out as he coughs.

“Chad, I’m so sorry, I thought you were a bird,” I plead with him.

“You promised to protect us,” he says between coughs, “why? Why would you do this to me?” He sobs as he falls to his knees, my sword sliding out as he falls backward.

“Why would you leave? We could have protected you,” I say kneeling beside him.

“We would have died either way. Matthew, Matthew said so,” Chad mutters before spitting out more blood. I watch as his eyes roll backward before his body goes limp, allowing blood to rush out of his wound faster.

I scream, not caring that it might give away my location. I am frustrated and I just need to let it out. I close Chad’s eyes before getting back on my feet. I go to wipe the blood of the tip of my sword but stop.

“PENELOPE!” I call out when I realize I have no clue where she went. I don’t see her anywhere. I scan the area quickly before starting back toward the safe house.

A low rumble is heard behind me. I turn my head and see a small heard of Zombies behind me, each one growling and hissing. “Oh come on,” I cry.

“Quick, in here,” Penelope calls out from an abandoned house.

I race over and join Penelope in the house closing the door tightly behind me, before barricading it with anything we could find in the living room.

“Any other ways in or out?” I ask.

“Besides the doors and windows?” she asks mockingly.

I look at her for a moment before shaking my head at her and rushing through the house looking for a back door. I find one off the kitchen in a mud room. I manage to pull the washer in front of the door before sliding the dryer in front of it. I drop to the ground, my back resting against the dryer as I gasp for air. Penelope slowly walks in and sits down beside me. I watch as her eyes move slowly up and down the blade of my sword.

“That’s a lot of blood on your sword,” she says eventually.

“Well there were a lot of birds,” I say not trying to think of my sword killing Chad.

“How about you? Are you OK?” She asks.

“I’ll live. Just some minor beak marks,” I answer.

“Here, let me take a look,” she says lifting up my shirt.

I take my shirt off gradually, my arms and side burning the higher I lift it. I move away from the dryer and soon feel her soft fingertips gliding up and down my back.

“How does it look?” I ask.

“Bruised, with minor flesh wounds. You won’t bleed out, but you won’t feel good either,” she answers still brushing her fingers along my spine.

I chuckle and twitch as she reaches my lower back, “that tickles.”

“Sorry,” she says softly, “you have a lot of scars and wounds on your back. Are they all new?”

“Most of them,” I answer, “there are a few that I’ve had for years. I know there is one, almost directly in my back that I got as a kid. I was playing with a friend, I think his name was Timmy. Anyway, we were playing in some woods near our houses, you know climbing trees, sword fights with branches the kind of stuff boys do. We were up in a tree and I lost my footing as we raced to the top. I fell after being inches from the top, I landed on the ground hard. When Timmy helped me up he noticed a small branch stuck in my back.”

“That’s crazy,” she says with a laugh. Her hand searches my back for another old scar, “Oh what about this one? It looks interesting as well.” Her finger circles a scar just under my right shoulder.

“It’s really not that interesting,” I reply.

“Aw come on tell me and I’ll show you one of my scars,” she says biting her lower lip.

“Fine,” I say with a sigh, slightly curious what scar I’ll get to see.

“I got the scar about five years ago. I stopped at a gas station closest to my house. I went inside to pay the clerk, figured I might as well get something small to snack on while I was inside. When I was in the back trying to figure out what I wanted, when a burly figure barged in through the door. I couldn’t see much, but I saw that he had a gun. I cowered behind the racks hoping I wouldn’t be seen. All the cashier had to do was hand over the money in the register and the man would have gone away. The cashier, she couldn’t have been more than twenty- two. She refused to give him any money. I watched him grab her by her long blonde hair and drag her across the counter top. He threw her on the ground and pointed the gun at her head. I rushed out from behind the racks and tackled him to the ground. We fought for a little bit, I mostly had the upper hand. I thought I knocked him out when I got back to my feet and walked over to the cashier. The last things I heard was her scream and the gun shot. I woke up a few days later in the hospital. Doctors were able to remove the bullet but the scar has always been a reminder to me. Reminding me that life is worth the risk, no matter what,” I say. “Now, what kind of scar do you have for me to see?”

Penelope smiles at me before lifting her shirt slightly revealing a scar on her stomach, “Well you see, I had my appendix out when I was twelve.” We laugh as she rubs the scar.

“Bummer I was hoping for something better,” I laugh.

“Oh?” She says lifting her shirt higher, “you mean something like this?” she pulls her head and arms out of her shirt revealing a dingy white bra. She runs her hands across her neck and chest, her fingers sliding under the arm straps of her bra, sliding them down toward her elbows.

I bite my lower lip. I can feel my blood pumping, my heart pounding, and sweat beading on my forehead. “Wait,” I say reach my hand out, stopping hers.

“What? Isn’t this what you want?” she asks.

“Yes, so very much,” I shudder slightly as she lowers my hand to her breast, “but it, it just doesn’t feel right.”

“Kennedy wasn’t the only one watching over you after the bunker you know,” I can feel her heart beating faster as she talks to me, “I might not have her skills, but I do care about you.”

“I don’t like Kennedy just because of her skills,” I argue.

“Then why do you like her?” Penelope asks.

I stare into Penelope’s eyes and then down to her hand still on top of mine. Her index finger is slowly rubbing my hand as she waits for my answer. “I don’t know.” I reply honestly.

“Then give me a chance,” she requests, “let me give you a reason to like me instead.”

She releases my hand and finishes removing her bra before running her hand across my cheek coaxing me forward with her fingers. My lips meet hers and her other hand reaches around my back pulling me closer to her. I can feel the warmth of her skin against mine even with the chill coming from outside. She slowly starts leaning back until her head is resting against the ground. She pulls me along with her, my legs straddling her waist as I continue to kiss her. My hands explore her body as my lips work to her neck. I can feel her finger nails digging into my back as we continue on into the night.

Chapter 12 September 23rd, 2037

I awaken the next morning, our naked bodies still intermingled together. It takes me a few moments to realize where I am. I shake Penelope waking her up.

“What? Again?” Penelope asks with a yawn stretching. I can feel her body pressing against mine before she sits up, “its morning!” she cries out.

“I know. That’s why I woke you up,” I say.

“Is it safe to go back outside?” she asks.

“I’m not sure,” I say stretching, “why don’t we get dressed and check.”

She smiles at me before sliding her pants and shirt back on and heading over to the window. “It looks clear outside,” she says.

I get back to my feet, throwing my clothes on hurriedly as I make my way to the window by her side. “We should get back to the others,” I say.

She nods, helping me remove the barricade from the door. We exit the house slowly, our eyes scouting for any sign of trouble.

“Oh my god,” Penelope cries out before rushing over to Chad’s dead body.

I follow behind gradually as Penelope reaches the body examining how he died, “it doesn’t look like a Zombie killed him,” she says concerned when I finally reach her.

“I know,” I mumble.

“How could you know? We just found the body,” panic fills her voice.

I pull out my sword and hold it in front of her showing her the blood laden tip, “that’s Chad’s blood on my sword.”

“What did you do?” She asks backing away from me.

“It’s not what you think, I swear,” I try to persuade her, “he snuck up behind me after I fought off the birds. I didn’t know it was him. I stabbed without thinking. I didn’t mean to kill him.”

“I don’t know if I believe you,” Penelope says pulling out her gun, “why didn’t you say anything last night?”

“What was I supposed to say? Hey I killed Chad?” I ask upset, “how does that sound?”

“I don’t know,” she says through a sob.

“Penelope, I swear to you it was an accident. You know I’ve been doing my best to protect everyone,” I argue.

She looks at Chad’s body. His mocha skin now has a hint of purple. It’s noticeable that his body is cold now.

“He deserves peace in death,” she says looking up at me.

“The kind of peace I couldn’t give him in life,” I murmur.

Penelope nods, pulling a lighter out of her pocket. She hands it to me before backing away from Chad’s body. I click down, lighting the flint. The orange flame seems to dance in my hand as I kneel beside Chad’s body.

“Anything you want to say?” I ask.

She shakes her head no. I connect the flame to Chad’s pant leg watching as the fire spreads slowly through his whole body. I flick the cap of the lighter down, snuffing out the flame before getting back to my feet and joining Penelope. It doesn’t take long before Chad is completely engulfed by the flames, Penelope sobbing, her head enveloped in my chest.

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” I whisper, “I’m sorry Chad.” I squeeze Penelope tightly as the flames grow brighter, “we should go before the others start to worry.”

We trudge on, making our way through the empty street. Neither one of us says a word until we get back to our safe house. Kennedy and Connor rush out of the house to meet us.

“We thought you both were dead,” Connor says.

“We almost were,” Penelope responds.

“What happened?” Kennedy questions.

“We were attacked by a flock of birds,” I respond, “a horde of Zombies followed.”

“How did you survive?” Kennedy asked.

“We found a small house. We bunkered there for the night,” Penelope answered.

“Did you find any survivors?” I ask changing the subject.

“Matthew was the only one we found alive. He was hiding inside a trash barrel. Scott and Lydia were found in pieces but we didn’t see Chad’s body,” Connor answered.

“We found Chad. He was dead,” I answered.

“His body was cold, there was no hope. We gave him a proper good-bye,” Penelope says covering for me.

“Why don’t we get inside,” Kennedy says with a half-smile, “you guys must be hungry.”

“Starving actually,” Penelope says with a wide grin.

We are guided back into the safe house, Matthew is sitting in one of the kitchen chairs rocking back and forth a petrified look coated on his face. Fanny is standing behind him fighting to wash the dirt off his face with a wash cloth.

“Thought you two were dead,” Natalie calls out from the bedroom doorway.

“Wouldn’t be the first time I was presumed dead,” I say sarcastically.

Natalie smiles at me before disappearing back into the bedroom. Connor sits us down at the kitchen table while Kennedy opens some provisions for us.

“You know we could have done that ourselves,” Penelope says.

“I know,” Kennedy says the smile on her face fading, “but the truth is we need to talk.”

“About what?” I ask with a sigh.

“About heading south,” Connor chimes in.

“We were planning on leaving today,” Kennedy finishes.

“What?” I ask.

“When you didn’t come back last night, we thought it would be best if we left this place,” Kennedy says sympathetically.

“You weren’t even going to come look for us?” Penelope asks outraged.

“Honestly?” Connor says from neat the sink, “No. we saw the horde of Zombies last night as well. We thought even if you were dead there wouldn’t be anything left of you.”

“At least nothing we’d want to see,” Kennedy adds.

“Still, how can you say you’re our friends if you can’t even try to look for us?” Penelope says visually upset.

“Look it wasn’t an easy call,” Connor says slamming his fist against the counter.

“It was the right call,” I say trying to break some of the tension.

“What do you mean?” Penelope says growling at me.

“I would have made the same call. We all know that the survival rate is low. Especially in a strange area with a horde found wandering around. I can’t say I’m happy about it, but I agree with it. I also believe that moving forward is the right call as well. After we eat, we travel.”

“Are you kidding?” Penelope hisses at me.

“No I’m not,” I answer calmly, “is there any gas left in the van?”

“Half a tank,” Connor replies.

“Then it’s settled, we leave in an hour,” I say as I scoop out my breakfast and begin shoveling the food into my mouth.

Time doesn’t go by as fast as I would have liked it too. As a matter of fact it is downright dragging. We have already stowed our bags in the van, most of us ready to leave but Matthew insists that going back out is crazy. Kennedy has been working with him consistently in the office, trying to keep him calm. Connor has been tinkering under the hood of the van since we finished breakfast and Natalie has been teaching Fanny some basic moves. Penelope and I remained in the kitchen in mostly silence, occasionally sharing a passing glimpse at one and other. She slid her hand across the table toward mine but I pulled it away.

“You don’t have to avoid me you know,” She declares softly.

My eyes follow up her arm until I see into her eyes. She is giving me a sort of defeated smile. I feel guilt bubbling in my lower stomach. Last night was incredible, our chemistry together was so strong that I had almost forgotten about this vague existence. But what about Kennedy? She has meant a lot to me too, tending to me and the others, filling me with strength I almost feel like I’m abandoning her.

“I’m not avoiding you,” I reply, “I’m just trying to figure everything out.”

“What is there to figure out?” She asks puzzled.

“Everything,” I respond, “I’m not going to say I don’t have feelings for you, but I also can’t deny how I feel about Kennedy.”

“But, we made love,” She says, her voice crackling.

“I know. I’m sorry if I’m upsetting you, but I respect you both enough that I don’t want to hurt either one of you,” I say, “so please promise me until I figure this out you won’t tell anyone what we did last night. No matter how special it was.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Kennedy’s voice says from behind me.

I turn around in time to watch Kennedy take off sobbing down the hallway. I try to get up but I’m stopped by Penelope.

“Let her go,” she says, “she is going to have to figure things out just like you.”

I drop back in the chair, my head slumped in defeat, my fingers wrapped around my hair as I let out a loud grunt. I pivot in my seat, facing the table once again giving me a place to rest my head while I continue to contemplate things and wait for Connor.

I must have dozed off while waiting. Penelope is no longer sitting at the table with me, instead she has been replaced with Connor. He is just staring at me blankly, his canteen slowly being swatted side to side by both his hands.

“Where is Penelope?” I ask.

“She’s in the van with the others,” he replies.

“So we’re good to go?” I ask getting to my feet.

“Soon, soon,” he says as he motions for me to sit again. “But first I have to ask, what’s wrong with Kennedy?”

“She’s mad at me,” I answer.

“No shit she’s mad!” he shoots back clearly not impressed with my answer, “what did you do to her.”

I let out a deep sigh as I contemplate telling Connor everything that happened, “Penelope and I… got intimate last night. Kennedy overheard us talking, I swear I was going to tell her, but she didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Well that explains why she doesn’t want to sit anywhere near either one of you in the van,” he says shaking his head before reaching across the table. His massive hands grab my shoulders tightly as he pulls me forward, “you had better fix this mess.”

“Believe me, I intend to fix it,” I reply pulling myself away.

“And make it fast,” Connor calls out, “I’d like to leave sometime today.”

His voice travels out into the hall and into my ears. I shake it off. I head down the hallway and into the attached garage. The side door of the van is opened wide. I can see Matthew curled up in the fetal position mumble as her fingers his rosaries. Fanny is sitting in the passenger seat, her head looking down, and her lips moving. I can almost make out the words she is mouthing until she pulls the book closer to her face blocking my view of her. Natalie is resting on top of the van, throwing a knife into the air and catching it, letting out soft giggles with each catch. Neither Kennedy nor Penelope are near the van, each standing on opposite sides of the garage.

“I see you’ve finally joined us,” Natalie says sitting up, “Are we finally ready to go?”

“Almost. First I need to talk with Kennedy,” I say.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Kennedy snarls.

“Well tough luck. We don’t leave until we talk,” I smirk.

“Oh just talk to him already so we can get on the god damn road,” Natalie retorts.

Kennedy rolls her eyes and grunts in anger before agreeing to talk to me. I escort her out of the garage and down the hall and into the living room. I catch Connor coming out of the kitchen, stopping just outside the doorway when he sees us. He smiles and nods as I close the door behind us.

“What’s so damned important you have to talk to me now?” Kennedy roars, “You couldn’t even let me calm down.”

“I’m sorry,” I murmur.

“Why? Why are you sorry?” Kennedy asks, tears forming in her eyes.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. Even when I was with her I knew what I was doing felt wrong, but I couldn’t stop,” I admit.

“But what did we have? You never even tried to explore it with me,” The tears are now flowing freely down her face.

“I wanted to, I swear I did,” I say.

“Well it’s too late now,” She says calmly wiping away the tears, “to late for everything. I loved you, but no more! I’m done, done listening to you, caring for you, and especially done taking orders from you. I’ll fight with you and I’ll wake you up if there is trouble, but now I can honestly say if it ever came down to it I would not have a problem being the one who has to end your life.” She turns around and starts out of the living room.

“I love you too,” I whisper after I hear the door to the garage slam shut.

It takes me a few moments before I work up the courage to walk back into the garage. This time everyone is in the van waiting for me. I can see Connor sitting behind the wheel, Kennedy sitting in the passenger seat with an evil look on her face. Penelope is smiling at me waving for me to join her in the back. I smile and nod before opening the garage door, releasing the bright sun into the garage. I rush over to the van and slide into the back, closing the door behind me as Connor backs out.

“Aren’t we going to light this place on fire?” Penelope asks, “You know like all the other places.”

“No,” Connor answers, “I think everything has changed now.”