It's stupid to go back to Kengkla's house. This whole thing is stupid. Techno knows that, in some rational part of his mind. Hhe thinks about it over. Still, even getting off the bike, Techno almost turns around, even as he approaches the building made familiar by his previous visit. There's no guilt in Techno now, not so much as a flicker of the ache that used to be there. He has no reason to be guilty anymore.

There's just the rush of his heart pounding in his chest, and the sound of his footsteps thudding against the stairs as he climbs the near-endless flight of steps to the front door. The only voice in his mind that makes his stomach turn is his conscious, asking if it's truly the right thing to do. Should he be here right not? Why should he even give Kengkla the time of day? There's plenty of fish in the sea. That's the saying right?

Then another voice, one that is like a constant refrain pressing against his chest and creaming to talk to Kengkla. But Kengkla might not be here. It's been over a month since Techno has been sinking slowly into the muffled silence of his peaceful life alone. He has no idea if Kengkla has left for college yet, no particular reason to think he hasn't moved out either. Yet, Techno climbs the stairs anyway, glancing around at the unchanged scenery of posh landscaping and decadent porch lights.

He's warm all over by the time he arrives in front of the door. Techno reaches out to knock, once and hard, against the door instead. It's a single rap, enough to thud against the doorframe. He doesn't know how long he waits. It could be a few brief seconds; it could be minutes, stretched long over the hesitation of a reply. Techno doesn't care. Every minute seems like hours when he hears the sound of a lock turning over in the mechanism of the door. There's a click as the deadbolt settles itself into place, a pause as the handle turns; and then the door draws open, and Kengkla looks up at Techno from the other side of the frame.

Kengkla's eyes widen as he lets out a soft gasp. "P'No," Techno says. His tone is soft, the tremor in his voice says he's minutes from crying.

Techno stares at the other for a moment. It's bizarre to see Kengkla's mouth still twisting on that smile as if he never left at all. It's intoxicating to see him again. Techno matches his memories to present, feeling his heart thud in his chest. He stares until Kengkla's smile gives way, and it's only then that he takes a breath and speaks.

"What part of those months was a lie?" He manages, his voice creaking under the strain of attempted calm.

Kengkla's lashes flutter, a giveaway for surprise. "None of it." He reaches back to shut the door behind him but doesn't look away from Techno.

Techno's stomach drops. He had just been hoping, he thought, that Kengkla would tell him the truth. He was so stupid to give him a second chance. He really is a fucking dog on a leash. "You're lying," He says, and the words surge heavy in his chest. "Again."

"Wait, P'No. I mean that...the feelings I have for you...are real. None of that is a lie," Kengkla slowly as if Techno might not understand spoken language.

He wants to believe Kengkla so badly, but he feels so stupid. Techno hands are balled into fists at his side, and he tries to relax them. "Tell me everything that was a lie," Techno commands. "And we'll see if I believe you."

Kengkla stares at him with a startled-open expression as if Techno has teleported himself across a distance of continents rather than arriving on his bike from the mall. There's something soft behind his eyes, some surprise showing in the part of his lips when he says, "Okay, P'No. Thank you for giving me a chance to explain myself."

And Techno wants to smack him across the face for sounding so smooth, but he lets Kengkla continue. "I practically fell in love with P'No at first sight." Even with just a few words, Techno feels as if the metaphorical leash in Kengkla's hand has tightened. It makes his heart skid. "Do you remember, P'No?"

Techno feels a pang of guilt as he shakes his head no. "That's okay." Kengkla smiles; his cheeks are dark with color, very uncharacteristic of him. "After meeting P', I thought that it was possible to actually love someone. Before, I simply dated because it was something to kill time with when I was bored or when I could use that person to work in my favor. Then, I couldn't stop thinking about you. P'No was kind and sweet for no reason. You didn't even know me, and you helped me out to gain absolutely nothing. Ai' Nic kept calling you stupid or ignorant. But I never thought you were. P'No is just a little innocent and maybe naive."

He doesn't know what expression he makes, but Techno can feel his cheeks warm. "I am hoping that you are also forgiving, as you have been in the past. But I kept making excuses to go over to Ai' Nic's house and talk to you, even if it was for a few seconds. P'No never noticed me as much as I wanted. Even after I had been over multiple times, I heard you call me Ai' Nic's classmate. It was like I was invisible."

The guilt is back, and Techno looks down at the ground for a moment, hiding his face. Kengkla continues anyway with, "But since I was already coming over too much, I asked Ai' Nic to take photos of you. At first, it was just random stuff, but then I got addicted to P'No. I wanted ones of you sleeping or shirtless, anything."

Techno can feel his face heat, can feel embarrassment burning across his cheeks. That explains the photos he found on Kengkla's phone.

"I went on like this for years, always waiting for you to notice me." Techno glances up at Kengkla, frowning at the sad tone that Kengkla was using. "But this year, you were so busy being captain and trying to graduate. I got desperate and worried. One of the things I did to deceive you was break your bike. I cut the cord so that I would take you home, and yes, Ai' Nic was in on it. But I made deals with him that he couldn't refuse."

"You broke my bike?" He couldn't believe that Technic would sell him out, but his bike did get fixed later. Plus, Kengkla did promise him something favorable. Then again, these were all excuses, and none of them were enough for Techno to forgive them both so easily.

Kengkla nods. "Yes, I'm sorry, P'No. I wanted an excuse to spend alone time with you. I was so jealous of your teammates and your juniors cause you were spending so much time with them, and you were drinking a lot, so much that I became worried. That's when I decided to make you mine."

Techno feels a shiver of discomfort just from being reminded of that night, and Kengkla's word choice didn't help ease his worries.

"Then I took advantage of P'No, and I lied saying that you were the one who attacked me. I'm sorry, P'No." Kengkla is blinking hard, his gaze unfocused with shadows, and his cheeks are wet, his lashes heavy with tears.

Techno's heart drops, and he steps forward immediately, reaching out to touch the side of Kengkla's face. When Techno uses the pad of his thumb to wipe away the others tears, Kengkla just stares at him, mouth open in shock. "Keep going, Ai' Kla," He tells him. "I want to hear it all." Then he takes a step back, glancing over his shoulder. They were still outside in view for everyone to see, but Kengkla's house was far from the sidewalk, offering them privacy.

Kengkla frowns as he lifts a hand to rub a sleeve roughly across his eyes. "P'No, I never cried once after I turned five until I met you. Even when my parents fought and told me they're getting a divorce, I never cried. My first real cry was when you left me in that hotel room. All the other times were fake, P'No." Techno already knew about Kengkla's family issues from Tin, but it was strange to hear Kengkla confirm it.

"After that night, you ignored me, so I tracked you down at the game. Then after I manipulated you and guilted you into giving me what I wanted, I made a deal with Ai' Nic to give me more alone time with you that night. But you hid from me in your bedroom, so I broke a plate to get your attention and purposefully cut myself."

Techno gasps a sound of affected hurt and crosses his arms over his chest. "Ai' Kla, how damn stupid are you? You could've got seriously hurt!"

Kengkla flashes the edge of a smile up at Techno. "I know, P'No. I'm sorry. That's just how much I love you." Techno's throat closes up on self-consciousness. "Do you remember when AI' Nic and I met you and P'Type at the mall? I made a deal with Ai' Nic to find out where you were so I could get you back to my house. I was so jealous of P'Type, and I still am, P'No. I hate how you two are close."

He very nearly laughs in Kengkla's face. He can still feel the tug of tension at the corner of his mouth as he tries to fight back amusement. "Ai' Kla, you're an idiot." Kengkla's smile falters, eyes widening. "Ai' Type has a boyfriend, and he's not interested in me. We've known each other for years. Trust me!"

"P'No wants me to be honest. This is me being honest." Kengkla drops his mouth into a pout of consideration. "That's why I waited until you fell asleep at my house to attack you and convince you to take me on your trip. I didn't want P'Type to be around you without me somewhere I can't find you. I even convinced Ai' Nic to go in case I had to distract P'Type."

Techno shakes his head. He had no idea Kengkla was this jealous. It seems like Type was right when he said Kengkla looked like he wanted to hurt him. Then it hits Techno. "Wait, Ai' Kla, did you really purposefully let Ai' Type fall so that he would get injured?" He blurts.

Kengkla shakes his head. "No, P'No. I didn't. I really am terrible at sports, but I also didn't care that P'Type got hurt. I only cared when you had to take care of him. So I was lying when I cried and said I felt sorry. I truly did not care."

The resonance of honesty in Kengkla's words makes Techno's face heat up once more with embarrassment and a flicker of anger. "You faked drunk too, right?" He asks, remembering the texts.

"Yes, P'No," Kengkla answers. "I planned with Ai' NIc so that I could sleep in the same bed as you.I'm sorry that I lied again. I am addicted to P'No." Techno can feel his face flush again, glancing around to avoid Kengkla's gaze. "That's why I was so happy when P'No rejected P'Dawn. I overheard it when I was 'using the bathroom.'"

Techno lets out a sigh. No wonder Kengkla seemed especially happy that day. "Uh, you helped me get that interview, didn't you?" He challenges, changing the subject.

Kengkla nods with a frown. "Yes. I wanted to help you get a job, and I knew that my family had good connections to get you one. I'm sorry, but P'No deserves the best in my eyes. That's why I took you to that apartment, P'No. My uncle owns the complex, and he was going to give you a discount."

"I knew it was too good," Techno blurts, and Kengkla cracks a smile for a moment. It grates on Techno's nerves. "This isn't funny, Ai' Kla."

"I'm sorry, P'No. I know it's not funny. You're just always cute," Kengkla replies.

It's obvious Kengkla is trying to flirt with him, but Techno's still too angry to do anything beyond blush. "Ai' Kla, did you take me to that hotel room to -"

"Yes," Kengkla snaps, interrupting him. He doesn't state the obvious, doesn't need to when Techno and Kengkla know exactly what each other means. "Then you found my phone. I'm so sorry, P'No. I didn't want you to find out this way."

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Techno asks, his voice trying to break in his throat on the threat of almost-tears.

"No."

Techno's heart sinks. That's what he thought Kengkla would say, but it hurts, even more, to hear him admit it. "I see," He says, struggling to restart the conversation. "D-did you come looking for me? Did you put the GPS on my phone, Ai' Kla? Are you the one who got me that job at the gym? "

There's so many questions that Techno still has about Kengkla and his lies, but he didn't want to sound like a copy interrogating a suspect, even if Kengkla deserved it.

Kengkla's mouth drags onto the weight of that frown as his eyes focus on Techno. "Yes, I did come looking for you, P'No. But P'Type told me to leave you alone, and you blocked me on everything. So I had no choice, especially when you sent Ai' Nic away. I just had to leave you alone."

"And yes, I did put the GPS on your phone. I did it the day I came over to P'Type's place. When you turned it off, I had no way of tracking you. I understand now that it upset P'No, but it drives me crazy when I don't know where you are or who you're with."

Techno can't speak, can't blink, but Kengkla isn't waiting for a reply; he's still talking, faster than usual. In fact, Kengkla usually talks slow and purposefully like he's always calculating what is best to say, but now it seems like Kengkla is speaking with zero filter.

"But, P'No, I swear I did not get you a job. The only reason I even know you got a job is because P'Dawn told me."

He sucks in a sharp breath, feeling like a knife's been forced between his ribs. He completely forgot about Dawn. Even though she said that Kengkla told her that he wasn't over his ex - see Techno - there's always a chance -

"Do you like Ai' Dawn?" Techno blurts, and he can feel his cheeks collecting color in embarrassment of his question.

Kengkla's mouth tightens at the corner, his lips dragging up into a smirk as Techno watches

"No, I don't," Kengkla says. He sounds distant, detached; whatever frantic emotion was on his voice before is gone. "P'No, if she said I did -"

Techno shakes his head. "P'Dawn said that you and her," He pauses to clear his throat. "Went on dates a few times, but you told her you weren't over your...ex. You were talking about me, right?"

The other nods again, slowly and deliberately. "P'No" He says and smiles. "You're the only one I love." His voice is low, purring in the back of his throat like it's rolling over gravel.

Techno's throat tenses. He can feel his heart hammering against his ribcage as if it's attempting to push free. He keeps his frown, holds his gaze, and waits until Kengkla's smile fades into a frown. "But," He starts, struggling for logic and fighting against his emotions. "You lied to me, deceived me, and took advantage of me. What you did, Ai' Kla, it's crazy, for real. You're kind of crazy. But if my friends knew the details, instead of the small things I told them, they'd think I'm even crazier for being here."

"P'No told his friends about me?" Kengkla asks, and though Techno just insulted him, he almost sounds happy. He almost smiles.

"I told Ai' Type about you, since he had a hunch," Techno sighs, shaking his head as if borne down by the weight of the world. "Then Ai' Can and his boyfriend."

Kengkla nods without even hesitating. "I see, P'No. But why did you tell them?"

The whole world goes still. He's been caught. Kengkla's still staring at him, completely unaware that Techno's composure is dissolving. "Because I don't know what to do," He admits, and then words are spilling from his lips too fast to catch back. "Ai' Kla, before you left that day in the hotel, I was going to tell you that P' loves you." Kengkla's eyes widen, his breathing catches on shock, but Techno ]can't stem the tide of words even if he wanted to try.

"I think I still do," Techno manages, his voice going rough on the edges, and then he can't stay still anymore, taking a step closer to Kengkla. "This whole time, I never stopped thinking about you. I must be going fucking nuts. When I got my new job, when I graduated, and when I went out with friends, you were always on my mind. Then I saw those photos of you and Ai' Dawn, and I almost lost it. Dammit, I was so...jealous."

Kengkla is staring at him, shoulders tense and unmoving, so Techno continues, "It's not right, Ai' Kla. Why am I here? You lied to me and manipulated me, but I still..." He cuts himself off, blinking hard in an attempt to clear the tears blurring his vision.

"You still?" Kengkla asks, drawing the last word long in his throat.

Techno takes a breath. "Love you," He breathes and looks down at the floor.

Silence falls between them as if time has stopped, as if the whole world is holding its breath. Techno can't remember how to blink. He can't remember anything at all outside of this moment, this heart-stopping confession as he waits for Kengkla to reply. His heart is racing in his chest, cheeks are hot as if with a burn, and he looks up to meet Techno's stare with one of his own.

"P'No," Kengkla says, his voice rumbling in the back of his throat like thunder. "Loves Ai' Kla?"

Techno's laugh breaks free from him like glass shattering, except he's not smiling. "Yes. It's crazy, isn't it?"

Kengkla goes on, gazing at him for a long moment and then his mouth curves, his lips turning up at the corners into a smile that is softer than anything Techno's ever seen on his face before. It lights his eyes up into oddly shy warmth as it strips away all the tension from his expression for a moment. Techno is left breathless, speechless, all the blood in his veins going to heat that has nothing to do with the burn of embarrassment from his confession.

"Are you crazy enough to give me another chance, P'No?" Kengkla is saying, but Techno barely hears him over the thunder of his heart.

It's Techno's turn to stare at Kengkla. Techno knows he has to reply, has to find some answer to offer in response to this, but his mind is blank. Kengla's mouth is open, lips parted as if in expectation of his response, and Techno has to swallow hard and finally struggle himself toward speech enough to respond.

He knew this was a possibility coming here, knew that if Kengkla still had feelings for him that the other would ask this question. But it wasn't until these last few seconds that Techno finally had an answer.

"Yes... I guess I am crazy," Techno says, but he sounds more uncertain than anything.

Kengkla gasps, eyes wide as if he never saw this coming. "P'No," He whispers with a smile so bright Techno's instincts insist it must be a ploy even though he can see no trace of deception under it. But when he takes a step closer, crossing the distance between them until he's close enough for Techno to smell his cologne, Techno holds a hand out in between them, palm out.

"W-Wait," Techno snaps, voice shaking audibly. "I need time...to learn to trust you again."

Kengkla's mouth twists and frowns dissatisfaction as if he's giving the statement serious thought. "I understand, P'No. I promise that I will never lie to you again or touch you without your permission."

Techno's skin prickles heat, the back of his neck flushing into self-consciousness. "Uh, thank you," He mutters, and before he can stop himself,"You can.." Then in a soft voice, "Kiss me now."

For a moment, there's just shock across Kengkla's face, and Techno regrets suggesting it. He tries to take it back and mumbles, "Nevermind, sorry. I don't -" Techno stops when he feels a hand gripping his shoulder and looks up at Kengkla, too shocked to remember his previous panic.

Then a mouth is on his, familiar lips and nostalgic pressure, and Techno's eyes shut reflexively before he can think it through. It's been months since he was kissed, months since Kengkla kissed him. It's overwhelming, and Techno pulls back, heart racing as it always does in these moments. But this time, when they kiss, nothing feels wong about it.