A/N : Carefull self-harm in mentioned this chapter, so please be careful if you feel triggered by this. I had already warned you in the intro, but I just want to make sure you are okay.

~Magnolia Knight~

I am so numb at this point that I don't even have the energy to climb out of the car when we reach the mansion's garage. Not a single word was uttered from myself during the ride, as Blake commented things from time to time. I only felt lighter when he complimented my driving and how impressed he was by it, but only seconds later this feeling left my soul when he remembered me that I wouldn't be allowed to get close to illegal racing ever again. It's over for me and my soul.

As I weakly climb the stairs towards my room, my knees threaten to buckle under my weight multiple times, and I catch Blake trying to help me, but with a hand movement I chase him away, not able to bare his help. Shivers run down my spine, cold enveloping me in a deadly cover, but I don't fight it. I shut my bedroom door, behind me as soon as I arrive in my room, and that's when I break down on the heated floor. My back hits the wall as I slowly slide down, my head in my hands, tears streaming down my cheeks and after a minute I find myself on the ground in a foetal position trying to find as much comfort as I can with myself. It doesn't succeed however. I still feel empty, cold, lost, horrible, pathetic. I should have known that I wouldn't be able to keep going like this, things were going too good for me. I have brothers, have a family that cares, am, or was able to live my passion, have friends... that's all bullshit now.

The silent night weights on the mansion, as I only hear my own sobs coming from my trembling lips. That's until, I hear Blake's footsteps walk up the stairs towards his own room in a fast manner. He is probably still furious that he saw me racing and beating him at his own game, but I thought he might have calmed down by now. But why do I care anyway ? It's not like he cares about my happiness right ?

It's been an hour since I am numbly laying on the ground of my room, too weak to find the strength to pull myself up from this hole. It's not the first time, I end like this. Numb. Empty of emotions. powerless.

Nick made me feel like this a lot and I ended up thinking that I was the real problem and that I deserved it. That's when I started doing it. I got addicted, but this addiction went away when I was with my brothers, they always made me feel valid. Until now. Blake isn't wrong for keeping me from the illegal racing, he is right. It's bad. So bad, but somehow it makes me feel close to something, someone and that person is no one else than Jace fucking Reed. He made me live and escape hell, but now I somehow feel betrayed. Blake is right. Why didn't he get me out of the abuse ? He found out about two weeks after we first met each other, and he seemed like wanting to destroy the whole planet down after he understood what happened to me.

"Magnolia what the fuck happened to you ?" Jace growls, as soon as he steps out of the car he rushed to park on the side of the road. In no time, he has me scooped up in his arms all shivering and bloody, trying to hold me in the most gentle way possible.

Rain has been pouring down on me, since the past hour of me escaping the toxic household I live in. It was a Friday evening, perfect time for Steve and Nick to beat me to death, because no one would see me in the weekend anyway. I needed someone, because I wasn't sure if I would survive this beating, so I called the only person I sort of knew. Jace.

"Shortcake, don't you dare close your eyes at me. Talk to me. " Jace worried voice can be heard, and with difficulty I flutter my eyes open to look at his broken expression. I have no more energy as I snuggle closer to him to try and find any kind of warmth I could. I was freezing. Jace seems to notice, because he slowly and surely transports me to his car and lays me in it. He turns the heating on and slips his hoodie over my head. I let the warm feeling envelope me and I close my eyes for juts a few seconds. "Who did this to you shortcake ? Please tell me I ma begging you." Jace pleads me, waking me up from my short sleep. I open my eyes to look at his green emerald eyes only for me to get lost in them. As his gaze bores into mine I find comfort and protection and that's the exact same moment I decide to tell my secret.

"Th-they did this this...they always do" the words pass my lips hesitantly and I watch as Jace brows furrow in confusion.

"Who did princess ?" he says angrily.

"My foster parents."

I told him him ! I fucking did. That night, he brought me to his house, or mansion I may add, a place a learned to call "Haven" through time and he took care of me. He sat me in a bed and didn't leave my side for a second, always working on his computer next to me to make sure I was okay. That's the night I found out he was more than just a simple 19 year old. He was working bossing people around, I listened while I faked my sleep. I observed. He found out who my foster parents were in no time, and he was about to kill them I swear, he was fuming, but a certain call made him change his mind. Since then he always tried to keep me in his mansion as long as possible, but I had to go back to this hell hole sometimes, so Jace would train me to defend myself and heal my wounds when I was hurt.

But still I am stuck now. He didn't fucking get me out of there permanently. Didn't he want me ? Did it have something to do with the call he got ? I don't fucking know anymore. He is dead. I am dead. At least I feel dead and right now I just want something to make me feel something. Anything.

I slowly get up from my weak state and start dragging my body towards my bathroom, an idea set in my head already. I open one of my many drawers and search through it to finally find what I was looking for. A razor. I break it with the force of my hands, so I could take the blade in my trembling hands. A unique tear slips from my eyes, but all I feel is guilt. Guilt for being such a shitty person, a bother to my brothers, a mess, a weak girlfriend or ex-girlfriend. I only drag mess into the life of my brothers, they shouldn't have found me, never. They were better without me anyway.

I lightly press the blade onto my skin, dragging it across my wrist, and watch as a fine red line appears. I let out a shaky breath and close my eyes as I feel blood trickling down my wrist. I draw an other line. And an other.

As I am about to slide the blade across my wrist once again, I hear muffled thud coming from Blake's room. I halt my movement and stop breathing for a second, because somehow I have the feeling that I should listen to what is happening next to my room. A little louder thud can be heard from Blake's room and this time, I panic. What if someone is trying to hurt Blake ? The mansion is asleep, perfect timing to attack.

I toss the blade in my drawer, not trusting the trash, wipe away my tears and the blood from my sleeve and wrist, but I wince at the burning sensation. Why do I even do this ? I look at my wrist and guilt fills me entirely. It's always the fucking same. It never stops. I always hate myself even more for doing this to myself.

I push this feeling inside of me and open my bathroom door to grab a hoodie to cover the harm I just inflicted to myself. At the same time, I hear an angered male voice. It's not Blake's. An ice cold shiver runs down my spin and before I leave my room, I make sure to slip the dragon symboled knife Jace gave me, into the sleeve of my hoodie. I make my way out of room, standing on my tippy toes and slip through the darkness of the hall, until I reach Blake's room.

When I hear once again a thud, which seemed to be as if two people were pushing each other around, knocking things on the ground I take a deep breath. I know what is happening in there is not some fucking sexual act, but this is some real shit. Dangerous shit. I slowly breath out and I take that as my cue to enter Blake's room, holding the knife firmly in my right hand.

The knife slips from my hand at the shocking sight in front of me. I cannot contain my shock, as I look back and forth between the two person, my mouth hanging wide open, gasping for air. This is not real. I take a stumbling step back, just wanting to leave this room as quickly as possible, going as far away as possible from them.

How could he do this to me ?

New Chapter all done guys ! What did you think of this chapter ? Heart-breaking ? Exciting ? Suspenseful ? Bad ? Please give your opinion, I would love to hear it !

Who is in the room ? any ideas ?

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS ! I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST AND THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE ! LOVE XX