Blood. It's everywhere. I don't understand, just a few seconds ago it wasn't even in the picture, but now... it's all I see. My father's hand is covered in cuts, exactly where the shattered windows hit him, and a dark red liquid is coming out of these cuts which deform his previous perfect hand. I see him trying to cup my face in his bloody hands, but I back away in shock. "Get out of here Magnolia. Run." he whispers to me as the colour in his face slowly starts to drain away.

I close my eyes tightly as my breathing starts to quicken. I want these pictures out of my head but they keep coming back, along with other pictures of a different car crash. An unknown arm wraps itself around my body, bringing it closer their hard chest. I keep my eyes closed as I try to steady my breathing which seems impossible at this moment.

"You're okay, you're okay." a deep voice whispers in my ear as he simultaneously draws small circles on my lower back to smooth me. I can barely move, this panic attack is crushing my lungs and I am afraid that if I move it will only make it worse. So instead I grab the shirt of the person, I holding it tightly in my fist and don't plan on letting it go.

None of us moves for a few minutes, but as I feel my breathing getting back to normal, I push the person who held me in his arms for so long away from me. I need to know who helped me.

Damon's stormy green eyes look at me with worry and pity. I don't dare to look long into his eyes so I quickly shift my gaze back to the ground, which was a big mistake. I find myself looking straight at my bloody hands covered in small cuts. Before I even have the time to analyse them, Damon's hands find my face and bring it up so I could look into his eyes again.

"Look at me, it's going to be fine." His voice is reassuring and seems so sincere. But is it really ? Does he really care ?

"Is it okay if I call Leo so he can clean out your cuts ?" he slowly asks as if he was scared that I was going to break down any second. Little does he know I went through so much worse pain, especially when he died in front of my eyes. I don't have the strength to reply with a verbal sentence so I give him a small nod and before I know it Leo is already in the room with me, cleaning and bandaging my hands.

"Why did you do that ?" Leo questions me once he finishes taking care of my hands.

"What ?" I mumble absently as I am not quite sure what he is talking about.

"When the plate fell and shattered... you were so scared that you fell directly on your knees to pick up the pieces with your hands. You were so scared that you didn't even feel the cuts made by the sharp edges as you picked them up. It's like you were scared that we were going to hurt you..." Leo points out the things that happened and I am shocked at how good he noticed everything.

I stare back at him, unable to even answer his question or rather the facts he pointed out. I sense that he wants to continue pushing with his questions, but Damon gets in the room and gives him a severe look that makes him shut up immediately. It's as if he already knew what Leo wanted to ask.

"Leo you did enough thank you, you can leave us know." Damon says with authority and Leo obeys and leaves. But right before he disappears behind my bedroom door, he gives me a small smile.

Damon sits down on my bed next to me and sighs heavily.

"You have no idea how glad we all are to have you back with us... alive." he utters, before running a hand through his thick hair. "Do you remember why you left with mom and dad that night ?" he asks me, taking me by surprise with the question. My eyes lock with his and I am left stuck with him.

"No..." I reply and start thinking of a reason why I might of left with my parents the night of the car accident. I realise that I never even asked this question to myself before and I feel a sense of guilt take over me. "Why ? Did something happen ?" My voice is quiet.

"Oh Angel... you will learn soon enough." Damon studies me, his eyes looking for any clue that I might be lying to him.

" I don't understand Damon... why did I forget everything ? I don't remember a single thing before we got in a car crash. It's like a dark hole..." My voice trembles as I feel so guilty for forgetting them.

"It's trauma. I guess you were so deeply in shock that you brain couldn't bare to keep it as a memory." He sighs as if he already all the necessary research to my case.

"It happens... But can I ask you how did you get away ?" He questions me and it takes me a second to replay the memory I still have engraved in my brain. I don't know if I should even trust him, but somehow deep inside of me, I know I should.

"We were driving to go somewhere... I can't recall where, but it was important I think... A car crashed into us from the side, which made us flip a few times. I managed to get out, because mom helped me and s-she asked me to hide ... I did, b-but seconds later the car exploded... so I ran..." my throat is closing on itself and I find it harder to breath. Damon stays patient as he waits for me to continue.

"I walked out in the night for so long...A woman found me on the streets hours later, far away from where the accident happened and dropped me of at a foster care." I explain this whole night with the most details as I could while keeping an emotionless face. He doesn't need to see me so broken. He can't.

He nods his head and looks like he is deep in his thoughts, as he takes in all the information I had to give him. But as I look into his eyes, anger is clearly visible and I wouldn't know why. Did I do something wrong ? Is it my fault ? Am I the reason they died...

"We will talk about other things tomorrow, but for now you need to get a good night of sleep. The boys will take you to the mall tomorrow to go shopping." He simply answers, before standing up from my bed. I am shocked by his sudden coldness. He starts to get ready to leave, but I can't help myself to interrupt him before he does.

"Why does Blake hate me ?" The question I asked myself the whole day spills past my lips and I am not even able to stop it from happening.

Damon freezes in his mouvements and looks back at me with a surprised look. And then he just laughs.

" Magnolia... he doesn't hate you, In fact he loves you. I think he is just angry at himself for not realising that you were alive all this time. Gosh we all are. But your loss hit him the most out of all your brothers Angel." His words are simple, but give me so much understanding.

"You two were the closest out of all of us and when he found out that you were dead, he completely changed. You were his sunshine, his flower... his world... but you leaving made him fall into this darkness... he had so much anger...he wanted to protect you from the world and he felt like he failed his mission. He never got to be himself after you left."

"And the death of our parents wasn't easy for any of us either... so no he doesn't hate you" he sighs and looks at me with his dark green eyes. " If you ever feel like talking about what happened that night , please don't hesitate, we want you to know that we are here for you, I am not even sure if you remember, but...Good night Angel"

And then he closes the door, leaving me to debates with my own thoughts. I should sleep, rest my body because it is exhausted, but I just can't wrap my head around what Damon just told me about Blake. It kinda surprised me. We were the closest...

That's probably the reason I had his necklace this whole time and vice versa. I hate myself for forgetting them. They are my family and I had no fucking clue, all this time I could have been with them instead of living with the Cambells.

I take a deep breath to try and ease this heavy weight I have in my chest, but then I feel the pain in my body. The pain made by multiple beatings and the sexual assault that happened the night before. All this thinking took my mind off of the pain, but now it came back like a fireball.

I decide to take a painkiller once again. I grab my backpack that is still laying in the middle of my gigantic room and go through it to find the medicine.

"Fuck" I mumble once I grab the package only to find it empty. I didn't realise that I took the last painkiller earlier and now I don't have anything anymore to ease my pain.

Just sleep to make the pain go away. My consciousness tells me and I sigh, before doing exactly that, even though my sleep won't last very long. It never does, but at least the pain will fade away for a few hours, before my sleep will get interrupted by one of my multiple nightmares.

And I was right.

Blake was hurt with Magnolia's loss so he just had to hurt the world back. He couldn't accept it and made sure for others to feel the same pain he felt all this time.

Is it right ? Hell no. But that was his way to cope.

Love you,

Xx