You're my choice of mistake

Rules over me

It's hard to explain

~

Trigger warnings: mentions of abuse, mentions of sex, mentions of controlling eating behaviour, language, human trafficking, abuse, financial abuse

~

The entire drive back to his house had been somewhat uncomfortable. They hadn't been talking to each other and Y/N was sitting in the passenger seat, blindfolded. Shouta wasn't sure whether he was supposed to talk to her or not. It all seemed like a strange and scary experience. There had been so many rules in connection with having her over for the weekend, it was insane. She had to wear a GPS tracker on her at all times and she wasn't supposed to see the way from the strip club to his house, thus the blindfold. Shouta was pretty sure she had fallen asleep.

He had never seen her in her civilian clothes and he was pretty sure she didn't own many. She was wearing tight black jeans and a lace bodycon that was just about acceptable to wear outside a strip club. Over that she had put on a big, black woollen coat.She looked classy, but she still had that seductive quality about her. Shouta bit his lip, as he pulled into the driveway of his house.

"How long until we're there?" he suddenly heard her asking. Shouta smiled. So she had been awake, at least for a while. God, he loved her, he loved her so much. He knew it was stupid and that she was off limits for him. He knew that all she did was probably an act to get to his money, but... well, it worked.

And he could love her, there was nothing stopping him. As long as he paid he could at least imagine what it might be like for a few hours. And he could pay. Being a hitman was lucrative and he didn't have any huge expenses. The only big expenses he had ever had in his life were his car and his house and those he paid off in cash long ago. So now his money was just collecting dust. He might as well spend it on the illusion of someone actually loving and caring about him.

"We're pretty much here, let me just park the car." he replied, before pulling into the garage next to the house. It was kind of a lavish house and it was much too big for him alone. Well, for some reason he thought he might not be alone when he had bought the house. He hadn't realized that being a hitman was a lonely job. It was just way too dangerous to have a partner and be involved in organized crime.

"Can I take off the blindfold?" Y/N asked. Shouta smiled, as he stopped the car and leaned over to her, caressing her cheeks, before taking the blindfold off her eyes. She pressed her eyes together and opened them slowly, trying to get used to seeing things at a normal brightness again.

"You okay?" Shouta asked, as he watched her blink a few times. She turned over to Shouta, the corners of her mouth turning upwards into a genuine smile. Her eyes looked almost glossy.

"I'm... I'm okay. I missed you." she replied, laughing to herself a little, as she checked out the interior of the car. Shouta smiled at her and opened the door to get out of the car. He quickly walked around opening the door for her and helping her out of the car. He could barely believe he actually had her here. With him. For the entire weekend. Something about this made him feel like a teenager going on his first date.

He looked down at her, watching her gracefully climb out of the car and give him that small, appreciative smile that he liked so much. She was wearing high heels - not as high as the ones she would usually dance in, but still high enough to make a distinct clicking sound. It was probably just what she was used to.

"You look so beautiful." he told her quietly. Y/N chuckled and shook her head quickly, before opening the back door of the car and getting her things out. She was about to hang the duffle bag over her shoulder, but Shouta managed to take it out of her hand. She looked up at him in surprise.

"Don't worry, I'll carry it for you." he said, before holding his hand out for her. He wasn't really sure what was appropriate here, so he figured he'd let her decide if she wanted to take his hand or not. He felt like a huge weight fell off his chest when she did so with a tiny smile on her lips.

"Alright, let's go." he muttered, walking out of the garage hand in hand with her and towards the house. He glanced back at her and saw her looking at the building in awe. Shouta felt her hand squeezing his as they got closer to the house.

"This... this is where you live?" she breathed. Shouta had never really been all too proud of his house. Sure, it was big and fancy, but he never needed a big house. But right now... the way she was marvelling at it (without even having been inside yet)... it made him feel proud and almost giddy to show her the entire place. She seemed so genuinely surprised and she looked so goddamn beautiful.

"Yeah. I... uh... It's one of the only things I ever spent much money on. Besides you. And the car." he replied, scratching the back of his neck, a smug smile sneaking on his lips. Y/N chuckled and turned to him.

"You'll have to show me around! I've never seen a house this big!" she said giddily, grabbing his arm and holding onto it excitedly. Shouta smiled down at her and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Of course I'll show you around. We'll have a relaxed evening. I'll make us dinner... or we can make dinner together, if you'd like. And first of all, you'll have to take those shoes off, because they don't look comfortable at all." he told her. Y/N laughed quietly to herself before looking up at him with that glow in her eyes that he loved so much. And since she had gotten here he had seen it more often than ever before. If only he could get her out of this place somehow.

"They're not meant to be comfortable. They're meant to make me look good." she replied with a small shake of her head.

"You look good without them. Trust me, I've seen it." Shouta replied with a smirk. They walked up the stairs to the entrance and Shouta had to let go of her arm to fish out the keys to his house.

"Speaking of. You got any comfortable clothes with you?" he wanted to know, as he proceeded to unlock the door. Y/N looked down on herself, her smile fading slowly. Shouta's heart dropped. Shit, what had he said?

"You... you don't like this?" she asked, looking a little scared almost.

"What? No. I do like it. I like it a lot, it just doesn't look very comfortable. I want you to be comfortable. I like you either way, doesn't matter what you wear." he replied quickly and held the door open, so she could walk in. She quickly took off her high heels and put them aside neatly, before taking off her coat.

"Are you sure? I... I didn't bring a lot of comfortable things..." she muttered, hanging her head low. Shouta smiled and put his fingers underneath her chin, forcing her to look up at him.

"I just... I just want you to feel good, okay?" he said. Y/N smiled shyly and rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment.

"Uhm... can I... borrow a pullover from you?" she wanted to know, blushing a little. Shouta chuckled and pulled her into a close embrace. She wanted to wear one of his pullovers to be comfortable? The thought alone made his heart jump. He wanted nothing more than to see her wearing one of his pullovers. Just the pullover. Nothing else. Maybe knee socks. Fuck, that would be hot.

"Of course you can. Here, head into the living room and get settled. I'll be right back." he replied with a smile and walked up the stairs to get her one of his pullovers. He wasn't quite sure what he was going to do with the rest of the day. There were so many things he'd like to do, but he just couldn't decide. Yes, he wanted to fuck her until her legs were shaking and she couldn't walk anymore, but he also wanted to make dinner with her, watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch with her.

Shouta didn't know when he had gotten this corny or why she had this effect on him, when he knew he was doing all this for the money, but he couldn't help it. He just wanted to be around her, enjoy her company. He never wanted to enjoy anyone's company, but with her... it was different.

With a sigh, Shouta grabbed one of his pullovers from the shelf. If there was anything he had a lot of in terms of clothes, it was pullovers. He enjoyed the warm and soft feeling of them. Wearing a pullover felt almost like getting a hug, and since Shouta didn't generally like most people, a pullover was a great way to not feel too isolated.

Shouta made his way back downstairs and into the living room and he almost fell over his own feet when he saw Y/N sitting on his couch in nothing but her lacy black underwear. He wasn't sure what he expected, but this wasn't really it. She seemed to be cold, because she had her arms wrapped around herself. Shouta gulped and walked up to her, handing her the pullover.

"Oh, you want me to get dressed again? I thought..." she muttered, sounding a little embarrassed. Shouta shook his hand and stroked her hair gently. She looked so damn beautiful and he really wanted to take that pullover right off her again, but... not now. He wanted her to feel safe and comfortable first. She was in a stranger's house after all, instead of her own room.

"You seem cold. I'll turn the heating up. And we have lots of time to get to that. Have you eaten anything yet?" he wanted to know. Y/N looked a little insecure, as if she wasn't really sure how to react to that.

"I... had breakfast..." she slowly said, eyeing him up nervously, as if she was scared he'd hit her for a wrong answer. This poor girl. He didn't even want to know what she had been through to be so scared. He just wanted to give her a break from all that, make her forget about it for just this weekend, at least.

"Y/N. Please. You don't need to be scared. I'm not... I don't intend to hurt you. I just want you to relax, okay? Can you do that for me?" he wanted to know. Y/N looked up at him, a small smile spreading on her lips. She pulled the pullover over her head, wearing it like a short dress, before sitting back on the couch.

"I can try for you, Shouta." she said, her smile growing a little wider. Shouta mirrored her smile and sat down next to her, pulling her closer, so her head was in his lap and he could hold her, while stroking her hair at the same time. Y/N seemed a little scared at first, but she quickly relaxed and stretched out her legs on his couch, closing her eyes and humming with satisfaction.

Shouta felt his heart swelling, as if he was about to be close to tears, because he had never seen her looking so peaceful and almost happy. She had always seemed scared of something, always nervous, always expecting to be punished or yelled at or beaten. It was probably what she was used to, but she deserved so much better. She deserved the world and if it was up to Shouta he'd do anything to give that to her.

"So, are you hungry, baby girl?" he wanted to know. Y/N nodded a little, before opening her eyes again and looking up at him.

"Yeah. I've barely eaten anything. Boss said that I was gaining weight, so I had to skip some meals." she muttered, sounding almost sleepy. Shouta stopped stroking her hair for a second as he froze in shock. She was... gaining weight? She was thin already. Any weight she was gaining was probably muscle... how could she live like that? Well, she probably didn't have another choice.

"Sorry. TMI." she muttered, closing her eyes again. Shouta shook his head and continued stroking her hair, kissing her temple softly.

"No, no, no. Not at all. And you gaining weight is bullshit. You look incredible. We're going to get some nice takeaway this evening, okay? Anything you're in the mood for?" he wanted to know. Y/N opened her eyes again, turning onto her side and looking up at him again, as if she was expecting to see something or someone else. Shouta's heart melted at the way she was looking at him.

"What's the limit? How much can it cost?" Y/N wanted to know, her voice sounding groggy. Shouta took his phone out of his pocket, so he could order something, as soon as they had decided.

"Anything. No limit at all. We'll cook some nice dinner tomorrow, so it really doesn't matter. Whatever you want to eat, baby girl." he replied. Y/N hummed, a dreamy smile appearing on her lips.

"I haven't had sushi in ages... probably years now... could never afford it and it wasn't something we'd get at work..." she muttered. Shouta ruffled her hair with a smile, as she nuzzled into him.

"Alright then. Sushi it is. I'll order a whole lot for both of us, okay?" he asked. She just hummed and nodded slightly. Shouta chuckled.

"You seem tired, too. Get some sleep, okay?" he said.

"Already working on it..." Y/N mumbled groggily. Shouta looked at her, splayed out on his couch, wearing just his pullover and a set of underwear. Black underwear. Shouta couldn't imagine anything sexier than that. Her feet were curled up under a cushion, her legs... her legs were looking so damn perfect. There were still some bruises on her legs, but she was beautiful, nevertheless. And her thighs... her thighs were leading into the curve of her hip perfectly. The pullover barely covered them and a small bit of her panties was sticking out from beneath the pullover.

Shouta forgot about ordering food for a minute and reached out, letting his fingertips glide over the smooth skin of her thighs, feeling the curve of her hips, feeling it dip down at her waist (which was well hidden by the pullover, but he could still feel it and knowing what was underneath that almost drove him crazy), and finally leading up to her chest. He could feel her ribs even through the material of the pullover and it made him angry that anyone would suggest she was gaining weight and should stop eating. He wondered whether that was the reason for her being so tired.

"What're you doing..." Y/N mumbled, still sounding sleepy. She was probably half-asleep. Shouta pressed another kiss on her temple.

"It's fine, baby girl. Go to sleep. I'll order food and wake you when it's here, okay?" he whispered into her ear. She quickly nodded, pulling her legs close to her chest and hugging his waist tightly, before dozing off again. Shouta smiled. He could honestly go for a little nap, too.

But first he needed to order food or they'd never get anything to eat. And Y/N needed to eat something. Shouta honestly felt bad for paying that much money to her boss when he was treating her that way, but during the months they had spent together, he had heard a few things and... well, even if her boss got all that money, it was probably still helping her to stay alive.

Y/N didn't talk much about what was happening to her, but from her reactions and the bruises on her and a few small things she said, he could piece together something that made sense to him. He didn't know all too much about her past, either, just that she wasn't really doing this absolutely voluntarily.

Apparently she had gotten into this through a boyfriend at 15 who was soon selling her out, until she somehow ended up in a full-on prostitution ring when she was 16. And then when she was 18 she ended up at that strip club, still full of promise and with her skills as a ballet dancer a good candidate for dancing on a pole. And she had stayed there ever since, because it was apparently the most independence she had had since she was 15. Plus, there didn't seem much she could do against her situation. She had no papers. No passport, no identification, nothing. No money either. Her boss kept all that. It seemed like a terrible life, but it was apparently better than before.

Shouta sighed. That was all the information he could gather and he didn't even know whether he wanted to know much more than that. It seemed like a lot to take in. For him at least. The only thing he knew and the only thing that seemed important right now was that she was being hurt - and he had to try his best to make things easier for her. Because he cared for her. He might even love her. But he wasn't going to admit that to himself or anyone else.

With a sigh Shouta finished ordering the food and setting an alarm for when the delivery was supposed to arrive, before pulling Y/N up into his arms. He was sure that would wake her, but she seemed to be out like a light. He smiled at her sleeping form and kissed her forehead, before settling down on the couch again, holding her close to himself. He wondered how much sleep she got on a regular night. It probably wasn't a lot, since she was working all night long.

With a sigh and a satisfied groan he closed his eyes and fell asleep almost instantly, holding Y/N in his arms, as if someone might try and take her away from him.