as it turns out, giving colby his stars back was a lot harder than harlow had anticipated. about two weeks had passed since harlow and kat had overheard colby say that the two would never be public. since colby unknowingly took away harlow's choices, leaving her with only one option.

at first, harlow was just trying to figure out what she needed to say to the blue-eyed boy and how she was going to say it without crushing either of them. but a few days passed, which eventually turned into a week, and harlow still had no idea what she would say to the boy.

after that week had passed, harlow had come to the decision that she would just go to colby's apartment and speak her mind freely. and the day she decided to break it off with colby just so happened to be the day that colby professed his love for her. the declaration only made harlow more confused.

it was so casual, almost as though it was a slip of the tongue. harlow had spent the night at colby's, so the two were cuddled up close underneath his sheets. harlow had her head nestled into the crook of his neck, her leg hooked around him, and her arm gently resting on his chest. colby had his arm around harlow, and was tracing shapes into her skin as they lay there.

colby's declaration was prompted by a question, something totally random. who would win in a fight - jake or corey? harlow had gone on for a while about stupid possibilities, like what if corey just started dancing in the middle of the fight to sneak attack the other.

harlow's responses elicited lots of laughter from the boy. he continued tracing shapes on harlow's skin as he spoke quietly, "god, i love you."

almost as soon as the words left his mouth colby stopped his movements, freezing. harlow had internal panic over what she was to do next because for the past week she had been thinking of her break up speech with the boy beside her who was now confessing his love for her. the problem was that harlow loved colby too, so much that it pained her not to say it back. it pained her to think that she would love colby and he would never know.

so while colby was stumbling over his words, trying to form a coherent sentence, harlow pressed a gentle kiss on the spot between colby's collarbone and neck. this gesture alone seemed to calm the boy down, so harlow continued pressing kisses into the boy's skin, littering them up to his neck towards his jawline.

she could physically feel him relax underneath her. harlow gently placed her hand on colby's bare chest, just above his heart. she shifted her body so that she was no longer laying beside the boy, but hovering over him, instead.

harlow's brain was sending her red alert alarms, don't say it back, don't say it back. but even if she was planning on breaking things off with colby, she still felt that he should know how strongly she cares for him. it was only fair.

so with her lips just barely brushing colby's, she whispered back, "i love you, too."

it only took colby a moment to flip the two, so that he was hovering above harlow, whose back was now pressed firmly into the bed. his arms were holding him above the girl, and he was analyzing harlow's face intently. almost like he couldn't believe the words she had just spoken, searching for a lie written upon her features.

still unsure of what he had heard her say, he uttered a single, "what?"

this made harlow giggle a bit. she took one of colby's hands and pressed a kiss into his palm, then said again, "i love you, too."

but colby was still unsure of what he heard because he couldn't actually see harlow's lips moving with his palm over her mouth. so again, he asked, "what?"

"i love you, colby brock."

harlow had never witnessed colby smile so largely before. and before harlow could comment on the boy's apparent happiness, colby pressed his lips against harlow's forcefully. he sat between her legs, pulling her body up to his. harlow instinctively wrapped her legs around colby's waist, her hands going to rest on his neck with her fingertips just grazing his hair.

they stayed like that for a long while, kissing and whispering i love you's. it was like harlow was trying to permanently leave the words in his skin so that he would know how she felt even after she was gone.

- - -

another two weeks had passed, and harlow was still unable to find the right words to say to colby. she knew that it was going to get harder as time went on, and it only got harder after he said the three magical words.

harlow had thought that maybe those three words would change colby's behavior and beliefs about their relationship. but it had now been a month since harlow learned of colby's intentions and nothing had changed between the two of them.

it was hard for harlow, because not only did she love colby with her whole heart, but colby felt the same way. so she had been trying to convince herself that if she waited long enough, he would be willing to one day share her with his world. but time had passed and there was nothing different between the two of them in that aspect.

harlow had decided earlier that morning that she needed to talk to somebody else about what was going on between the two. and because devyn knew the most, she ended up being the person harlow felt like she could speak freely too.

harlow was sat on her small bed, leaning back against a pile of pillows. she had her phone positioned on the ledge of her window so she didn't have to hold it while the two facetimed.

"i don't think you necessarily have to break things off," devyn repeated for the fourth time in an hour. "i think you just need to have an open conversation with him,"

harlow sighed, picking at the ends of her pink hair. "but what if i already know how it's going to end?"

devyn shook her head, "unless you're raven baxter, you don't know what's going to happen."

harlow laughed at the girl. "it's the future i can see." she sang loudly and clearly off-key.

"you are by far the most annoying person i know," devyn replied sarcastically.

harlow rolled her eyes, "don't be so extra, dev." she slapped her knee to indicate that she had just told a funny joke, "get it? like xtradev!"

now it was devyn's turn to roll her eyes. "don't make me end this call and leave you to figure out your shit alone." devyn threatened. it was an empty threat because devyn knew that harlow was feeling confused and she wanted to help as best she could.

"love you," harlow said, pouting at her phone. "okay, i'll be serious now."

"i just want to try to help," devyn reasoned. "but i don't know how to help you."

harlow flung herself backward dramatically, "i don't know is a perfect way to sum up how i feel right now," she thought aloud.

"but you do know,"

harlow picked at the rings that littered her fingers, humming in response to devyn. when she didn't say anything else, devyn continued talking. "okay, well tell me how you feel when you're with colby,"

harlow thought for a moment, trying to find words for how colby made her feel. sometimes it felt heavy, physically heavy, because she knew deep down that they would never move forward more than they had. but on the other hand, harlow knew that she had never been as happy with anyone else as she was when she was with colby.

"euphoric," harlow answered suddenly, sitting up slightly to see devyn through her phone. "this is going to sound so fucking cheesy, but he's like, addictive."

"why is this sounding like a kesha song?" devyn joked, making harlow flip the girl off. "i kid, i kid. continue," she spoke with her hands held up, making harlow snort.

"you're the absolute worst." harlow watched as devyn laughed. "but i know it sounds like a kesha song. i don't know how else to put it, though. i love him. and every day that we're together i just feel more love, which makes the whole breaking up thing so difficult."

devyn sighed, "which is why i've said so many times that i don't think you should do that. i mean, i 100% get where you're coming from, but i think that you'll really regret your decision if you break up with him, harls."

the thing is, harlow already knew that she was going to regret her decision. but harlow also knew that she and colby being together wasn't fair to either one of them. harlow needed more than a boyfriend behind closed doors and colby needed a girlfriend who was okay behind the closed door. so it wasn't fair. and harlow knew that she would be completely heartbroken - she didn't need devyn to tell her.

so although devyn's input was what harlow was already thinking, the comment upset her because harlow didn't want to end things with colby. harlow was upset with herself for allowing herself into another relationship where she would get hurt. instead of agreeing with her friend, harlow took her feelings and hurtled them at devyn.

"well, last i checked it's not your decision to make, devyn." harlow snapped.

devyn was clearly taken aback by harlow's sudden change in tone, but recovered quickly. "you asked for my advice. i was just trying to help."

"but you're not helping." you're just telling me what i already know, harlow thought. "if you were actually my friend you'd be on my side with this."

devyn frowned, "harley, you're both my friends. you know that i would never pick sides. i just don't want to see either of you hurt."

harlow knew this, and she would never in a million years ask devyn to pick between her and colby. but she was angry, so she said things that she didn't really mean. "yeah. i have to go to class. i'll talk to you later."

and before devyn could even say goodbye, harlow ended the call.

one part left !!!!! (i think)

what do y'all think harlow's gonna do? and how do we feel about the small fight with devyn?