ever since harlow had confessed to elton that she and colby were together, things in her life had been near perfect. harlow's semester was winding down, so she found herself having more free time. sometimes it was spent having a girls' day with devyn, kat, and tara, or sometimes it was spent just lounging around at sam's with their group. mostly, it was spent with colby.

the two spent saturday nights driving down rodeo drive in colby's shitty little car, with the windows rolled all the way down and the music blasted. harlow found herself spending more and more nights at colby's apartment, so much so, that she had a spare toothbrush in his bathroom. their mornings after their sleepovers were spent in bed, half-dressed and half asleep. days when harlow had classes, she'd sit at the back of the lecture hall and text colby memes, trying her best not to giggle when he would send memes back. even on days when harlow had assignments she had to complete, colby was still around. he'd follow the girl to the library, sitting across from her, answering emails.

he'd follow her just about anywhere. just about.

colby had slowly started suggesting that instead of going to the beach to sit on the hood of harlow's jeep and smoke, that they just stay at colby's apartment. instead of going out to get ice cream, he would suggest that they have it postmated instead. harlow had asked for colby to take her to six flags at least five times and he always had a different reason as to why he couldn't. i have an important meeting, or it'll be too busy, or we should wait until everyone can go with us.

so it was near perfect for harlow, because all she wanted to do was show colby off to the world, but he didn't want to do the same with her.

but she was still incredibly happy. still so in love with the blue-eyed boy to the point where she didn't really care if all he wanted to do was watch movies and snuggle on the couch. because at least she was with her love.

today was one of harlow's free days. she had her morning class, and usually, afterward, she'd be holed up in her dorm working on assignments, but she didn't have many left. colby was out at his office because he and sam had a few phone meetings. so harlow had decided that since sam was busy too, she would spend the day with kat.

the two girls were currently sitting in harlow's jeep, parked outside of the nail salon they had just been in. she and kat had been going back and forth with what they could do for the rest of the day. "we could always go for lunch," harlow suggested.

"true," kat agreed, "should i text dev and see if she wants to meet us for lunch?"

harlow nodded, "yeah, sure."

"okay, i'll tell her to meet us there." kat was acting a bit strange, but harlow just shrugged it off.

the duo ended up choosing a restaurant off of hollywood boulevard, so they could go shopping after they ate lunch. devyn met them at the restaurant about ten minutes after they arrived, sitting across from harlow. the girls chatted, ordered their lunch, and then when the bill came and went, they remained sitting and gossiping.

"what do you think i should do, dev?" harlow asked, turning her attention to the brown-haired girl. harlow had been complaining to the two about colby and how he is turning into a homebody more as each day passes. "i just feel like he doesn't want to go anywhere with me."

devyn laughed a little, then took a sip of her drink. "i don't know, harls. colby has always kind of been that way."

harlow sighed and rolled her eyes. "well he's even more now than when i first met him. i mean, all i want is to go for ice cream once in a while," devyn shrugged. she picked at her nails in silence, avoiding harlow's eyes. "okay, i've known you for long enough now that i know you're avoiding telling me something."

devyn didn't answer harlow, instead, she took another drink of her water. "okay, now you're just annoying me. i don't care if you're going to give me advice i don't want to hear. you can totally tell me that i'm being a dramatic bitch and i should be really happy."

devyn let out a puff of air, then leaned back in her chair. "okay, but i tried to avoid it."

harlow looked at the girl expectantly, "well, get on with it,"

"before i start, i just want to say that i love you lots so please don't be mad at me." she cleared her throat before continuing, "at our girls night a while back, y'know, the one where we made jake take us to taco bell? well, when i was changing in the closet, i could overhear colby from his room, and he was talking to someone on the phone. i couldn't figure out who he was talking to, but from what i overheard, i think he was talking about you,"

harlow felt her stomach doing flips, and she wasn't sure if it was because she was super full from lunch or if she was just really nervous. the more the seconds dragged on, the more she felt it was due to nerves. "like what kind of things?" she asked, her voice barely reaching her normal level. definitely nerves.

"well i overheard him say something about how you two will never be more than friends," devyn started, playing with her napkin as she spoke.

harlow felt herself relax. there was nothing to worry about. "okay, well we're dating, so he was wrong on that one."

"well, there's more." devyn started, "he said that you'd be bad for his brand. and the more you talk about how he doesn't really go anywhere with you, the more it makes sense to me."

harlow felt her throat grow tight. she felt at a loss for words. kat must've been able to tell by harlow's expression, so she spoke for her, "well, how do you know for sure it was about harlow? did colby say her name?"

devyn shook her head, "no," kat placed her hand on harlow's back, trying to reassure her that there was nothing to worry about. "but i did confront him later that night."

harlow felt like she was running out of air to breathe. it was all making sense to her, why he wouldn't ever go anywhere with her as just the two of them. why he always wanted to go places in big groups. he didn't want to world to know about the two of them, even though harlow wanted to scream it from the rooftops.

"what'd he say?" harlow managed to get out, her voice surprising her at how calm she sounded.

"it was about you." devyn admitted quietly. "he made me promise not to say anything. but you're my friend too, and i don't think it's right not to tell you,"

"so what? he was just going to have a secret relationship with me?"

devyn gave the girl a pitiful look, "i don't know, harls. all i know is that he really cares about you, but he also really cares about what other people think of him. maybe too much, sometimes."

harlow leaned back into her seat in shock, "i don't get it," she mumbled, feeling incredibly numb all of a sudden. "what's the point?"

- - -

a few hours had passed, and harlow was beginning to feel a bit better than she had at lunch. devyn had managed to convince harlow that colby still had genuine, real feelings for the girl, but that he was just afraid to share it with the world. and harlow knew that. she knew that colby's feelings for her were real, she could see it in the way he looked at her when she woke up, hair matted and mascara smeared in the corner of her eye. he still looked at her like she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

harlow did fully intend on having a talk with colby, though. about their relationship and what it looks like to the people around them. so that's what she was about to do. devyn had parted ways with katrina and harlow, and the two girls were currently headed up the elevator to their respective boyfriend's apartments.

the elevator dinged and the doors opened. "i'm just next door if you need me," kat reminded her friend.

"i know," harlow smiled, "thanks,"

the girls walked down the hallway, harlow mentally preparing herself for the conversation she was about to have. the hallway was quiet, more so than normal. jake must be out with tara, harlow thought.

it was so quiet, that a few steps away from the door to colby's apartment, harlow could hear voices from inside.

"dude, you know they're gonna ask about her tomorrow. you need to be ready to tell them something."

the voice belonged to sam, harlow recognized it instantly, as did katrina. kat glanced at harlow with a confused expression, her hand resting on the door handle to her boyfriend's apartment.

"i know. i know. what should i tell them?" colby's voice was clear, even though the girls were still a few steps away from the door.

"i thought they had all their meetings today," harlow whispered, suddenly feeling nerves wash over her in a wave. "are we interrupting something? it sounds kinda serious,"

kat stopped, thinking for a moment. "sam did mention that one of them got moved to tomorrow morning," she confessed, pulling out her key for sam's apartment.

"i like her. more than the other girls, but it's already getting to be a bit much, y'know?" colby spoke again.

"harley is too much?" harlow's body tensed immediately at the mention of her nickname. she felt glued to her spot, unable to move.

kat's eyes widened, and she stuffed the key back into her pocket. "maybe we should just come back later," she suggested.

harlow shook her head vigorously. "they're talking about me, kat. i want to know why." harlow crept forward towards the closed door, listening to the conversation behind it. but she knew why colby was talking about her, she had heard it from devyn only a few hours earlier. but now she was hearing it again, only this time from colby. this time, she knew what was being said was how he really felt.

"no!" colby protested, making harlow internally sigh in relief. "she's really cool. but we couldn't ever be what you and kat are,"

kat, who looked slightly uncomfortable eavesdropping on a conversation between her boyfriend and her friend, was suddenly interested at the mention of her name.

"i don't know, you could be." sam stated.

the girls could hear colby laugh from the other side of the door. "sure, i'd just lose thousands of fans and shit. it's my brand, dude. sad, single, emo." harlow was tense once again but continued to listen to the conversation despite kat gently tugging on her arm to try and get the girl to leave.

"true."

"she's super fun to be around and everything, though. but some of those girls are fuckin' mean, bro. anytime i comment on a fucking picture the girl will get hate. even more than kat or devyn or even tara."

harlow was annoyed with colby's statements, even if she knew they were true. the girls had talked about how colby's fanbase was primarily young females, some of whom fantasized relationships with the boy slightly too aggressively. still, it hurt to know that colby wasn't interested in a public relationship with her.

"i don't know what i should do. we've only been dating maybe a month. but just think about all the subscribers and followers i could lose if i tell anyone about it."

harlow couldn't hear a response from sam, only her blue-haired friend whisper-yelling her name from down the hall. "let's go!" kat waved her arm, gesturing for harlow to follow her.

harlow wanted to follow her friend back out of the building but felt glued to the carpet. part of her was extremely angry at the boy on the other side of the door. why would he get into a relationship if he didn't want anyone to know about it? then there was another, slightly bigger part of her that felt crushed. colby was right, and harlow knew it.

harlow had grown to realize that when you love someone when you really love someone, you want the best for them. even if what's best for them might not be what's best for you. and at that moment, harlow realized that what's best for colby wasn't her. harlow would just hold the boy back, keeping him stuck with her on the ground when he was meant to be up in the stars.

seconds passed, but to harlow it felt like hours. "it's complicated."

complicated, harlow thought. that's one way to put it.

"i wouldn't mention the complicated part today," sam joked.

"fuck off,"

harlow felt herself being pulled away from the apartment door. she whipped her head to the side to see katrina, hands wrapped around harlow's arms, pulling her away like she was a child who witnessed something traumatic.

she opened her mouth to object, but was cut off. "not until we're outside." katrina stated calmly, letting go of her friend and gently pushing her forwards. "let's go."

there were a few minutes of silence between the girls before they were back outside of the apartment building. between arriving and leaving, only about fifteen minutes had passed. it was funny how a few minutes could change everything.

harlow remained quiet as she unlocked her jeep, climbed in, and buckled her seatbelt. she didn't even start the vehicle, she just looked ahead with a blank expression.

"i think i should be mad," harlow finally spoke. she looked down at her hands, playing with the few rings on her fingers. "and i don't think i am."

kat sighed, clearly in relief. "okay,"

"i guess," she paused, trying to come up with a word for how she felt. "i guess i'm disappointed. and a little bit embarrassed honestly."

kat nodded, staying silent in hopes that her friend would continue to unpack her emotions.

"i mean, what did i expect? obviously, he doesn't want to go public. i get him wanting to protect his job and all, but i'm not here to have a behind-closed-doors relationship. i didn't sign up for that." harlow started rambling. her thoughts were suddenly bubbling up and over the edges, like a forgotten pot of water on the stove. "you know, it's kind of fucking shitty to string a person along like that. he made me feel like we had the potential to actually be something real or whatever. and why is he telling sam this shit and not me? i mean, i'm also being affected here."

"i think you're right to feel the way you do," kat confessed, placing her hand over harlow's and giving a reassuring squeeze. "it's not right for him to treat you one way and then act another."

harlow looked ahead at the road, wishing she had just stayed in her dorm working on assignments like she normally would have been. "i know what i have to do."

there it was again. silence. silence hanging between the two, choking the two. "and?" kat prodded quietly.

"i need to give him the stars back,"

hi friends, it's been a while

what are your thoughts on this part? and on devyn finally telling harlow about what she overheard?

only a few more parts left