《i'm only human ♡ sam pottorff》chapter 24
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Ryn's pov
My mind told me to run, but my body stayed in one position. Nikki was back. She was here with me, again. I knew she would came back. Why now? I'm in a hospital, and I just had my child! If I could kill her, I would. But the thing was, she was already dead.
"Ryn, how have you been? Still looking as fake as always." She joked. I hoped she was joking. I hope this all was just a joke. How could I be so stupid? It wasn't.
"Why are you here?" I questioned trying to stay calm. On the inside, I was freaking out. I wasn't okay. I wasn't fine. I was furious. I was so hopeful that she was gone. For good.
"I told you, I'm here until the day you baby." Nikki laughed. I felt like crying. I hated her. I hated her gut. She was a total bitch!
"Then why did you leave me in the first place?" I asked.
"Well, even as a Voice, I do have a heart. It's not beating, but it's there. Remember, I'm supposed to kill you, not your innocent baby." She spoke.
"Leave Pre alone." I said angrily. She slowly paced the floor.
"That was my plan. I'm not here to hurt or kill Pre." Nikki explained. I felt a jolt of relief, but then I realized, there was still me. I was her target.
"Why can't you just stay out of my life?" I snapped.
"I thought I've answered this already! I have to kill you, or you have to overcome your depression!" She exclaimed. I didn't want to die, so I knew, somehow I'd have to overcome my depression.
Sam suddenly walked in the room and Nikki walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder. I looked angry, but Sam couldn't see what Nikki was doing. She put her arms around him and her hand on his chest. I was mentally killing her, but I was psychically acting like nothing was happening. Nikki kissed Sam on the cheek, smirked, then disappeared.
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"Hey." He murmured.
"Hi." I spoke.
"I wanted to talk to you about the text I sent you earlier." My lip quivered and I got goosebumps. Basically, it was like 9/11 was happening inside of me.
"What is there to talk about?" I asked.
"I want to know if you're okay?" Sam questioned. I gave him a half smile that was totally fake. Every expression on my face was a lie.
"I'm fine Sam." I lied.
"Then why do you seem so sad all the time? Every time your happy I praise that moment. Why is it so rare?" He asked. I couldn't put my pain in words. So, I quoted.
"Sadness is like a drug. It takes you away from reality and makes you see it in a whole new way." I said.
"In a good way or a bad way?" He's joking right?
"What do you like Sam?! I don't self-harm, cry, and strave myself because I'm happy!" I shouted. Sam had a look on his face. I couldn't tell what it was, but it was a mixture of sadness, anger, and confusion.
"How starve yourself?" Sam questioned. I forgot he didn't know, I barely knew I was doing that either, I just never ate.
"Well, it's about time you realize something." I shook m head in disappointment. Sam began to look furious.
"Okay Ryn, I need the answer! Do you love me or not?! It's like one minute your in love with me, and the next you hate me to my gut!" He yelled. I didn't know my feelings for Sam anymore. It's like I'm bipolar or something.
"I don't know." I stated. He laughed.
"You don't know? You don't fucking know?!" Sam shouted while he flipped over a table. I closed my eyes and gasped. I've never seen this side of Sam. I was afraid. "All I know this that I need an answer-"
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"I don't love you anymore!" I snapped. Still had my eyes closed and a single tear rolled down my eye. I was lying, he had Ava. And whatever they had I wasn't going to break that. I heard Sam breath heavily.
"Okay then. I'll stop trying. I'll leave you alone. It'll be like nothing ever happened." More tears streamed down my cheeks. He's basically trying to forget me. And forget about everything we had. It's all beginning thrown away.
I didn't dare to open my eyes until Sam was gone. Then Nikki came again.
"I told you he'd leave you. Now, get over it you sad little fuck!" She yelled as she slapped the side of my head. I swallowed hard.
"You didn't tell me that he'd leave me. You told me he didn't love me, which was not true." I was shaking so hard. I felt insane. I felt weak. I needed to be away from all of this. I needed to be away from myself.
"Well, even if he did loved you, he doesn't anymore. He let go." Nikki smirked.
"Now, you can I'm going leave you alone for the rest of the day, while you sit here and realized what messes you have made and how shitty your life is." She put me back in my world of hurt. My world of pain. And my world of being depressed. Welcome back.
---
Okay, so today was the day Night Changes came out!! It changed me. EEP! Anyway, thank you guys for reading this. Ya know the rest of the saying...i hope you're enjoying it and shiz like that. Well, i'm gonna go. bye!
-xox Claire.
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