Ryn's pov

The voices came back and I felt like I was going crazy. Sam kept everything that happened yesterday to himself. He didn't tell mom nor Ava. I was thankful for that. But, Sam has been more protective of me lately. He won't go anywhere without me. He won't let me be alone. He won't even let me out of his eyesight. It got me to considering if he stopped trusting me.

"Sam, I'm going to Target. You need anything?" I ask. Sam shakes his head.

"Can I go with you?" I give him a look. I honestly really do feel like he doesn't trust me.

"Sam, why won't you let me out of your sight?" I ask. Sam flashes a look. A look that I can tell is fake. He's trying to act like nothing's happening, like everything's okay. It's not.

"I just want to go to Target with you, like what's the big-"

"Stop Sam. Just stop lying and tell the truth. You haven't let me out of your sight since this." I roll up my sleeves to show him the healing marks. Sam sighs.

"I just don't won't you to do that again." He stated. He sound so much like mom and Ava it made me want to cut again. I've never felt like this before. I've always felt loved and adored around Sam. Now, I feel like I'm feared.

"Do you trust me?" I ask. It doesn't answer for awhile. Then, he finally speaks.

"Yeah. I trust you." He utters.

"Then you have to let me be alone. I won't cut. I'm sorry I did this. If I tell you why you'd think I'm crazy-"

"Tell me." He commands.

"What?" I ask. Obviously, I heard what he said, but I just wanted him to change his answer. As much as I didn't want to, I'd probably end up telling him anyway.

"I said tell me. I won't think you're crazy." That's what he thinks. Once I tell it, he's gonna call a mental hospital.

"Okay, I'll tell you. But, promise you won't tell anyone or call a mental hospital." Sam gives me a weird look, but then he nods.

"A few days ago, I've been hearing these voices in my head. They've been telling me to kill myself, or that my dad's going to come and kill me. Yesterday after you left, the voices came to me again. I was trying to drown out the voices, but nothing worked. Somehow, the voices overcame me. They made me feel worthless, a waste of time, a waste of air, and like I didn't have a purpose being here. I can't quite remember what they said word for word, but one of them really triggered me. So, I cut my arm with a razor, and it spelled out die." I explained. Sam had a blank expression on his face. It made me worried.

"We have to get these voices out of your head." He stated.

"How?" I ask. Sam stayed silent for a moment.

"Counselling." Sam insisted. I froze. Did he just say counselling? I shook my head rapidly and backed away from Sam. The only words that run through my mind was no no no no no no no. This couldn't happen.

"Sam? No!" I shout. Sam puts his hands on his head as if he was frustrated. Which, I could tell he was. His rosy cheeks were now blood red. I could see the frustration in his eyes.

"Ryn, you have voices in your head. What else do you want me to do?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing." I say. Sam looked at me like I was crazy. I don't blame him. For all I know, I'm actually be crazy.

"What? I can't just sit here and watch you drive yourself crazy." Sam said angrily. I could see his veins pop out of temples. As much as I didn't want this to happen, it had too.

"You're right. You wouldn't let yourself. That's why I have to break up with you." I say with my eyes beginning to tear up. Sam stared at me with complete shock at what I'd just said.

"Ryn please don't, we haven't even been together long. Like how long has it been? A few days. Maybe a week. Ryn please. Don't break up with me."

"Do you think I want to? Because I honestly don't. If there was a way that I could get rid of these voices and not have to end up in a mental hospital and still be with you, trust me Sam I'd take it. But if I do take counselling, I know I'm gonna end up locked up and having a miserable life. Do you want that for me?" Sam stayed quiet for a long time. I felt like I was taking thing a little to far, but it's happened before. People have been put away for hearing these voices in their head and being scared of them.

"I want what's best for you. If you think it's best for us to break up, then goodbye?" A tear falls down Sam's eye. I bite my bottom lip trying to hold back the tears from falling down my face. I take a deep breath.

"Goodbye Sammy." I force. It was really hard to say goodbye and mean it, especially if you care about that person so deeply. I begin to walk out the door then Sam stops me.

"Wait!" I turn around and he slightly smiles. "Remember, I love you." I smile. I'm gonna miss him. My heart literally feels weak just thinking of him gone, or just not in my life.

"I love you too." I say weakly. I quickly turn around and walk away. If I looked at him for one more second I knew that I would have stayed. As much as it hurt, it was for the best that he didn't see me struggle.

He didn't love you anyway.

The voices came back. I grab my hair and breathe heavily. This can't happen right here or right know, I thought.

Come on Ryn, it was obvious. Sam doesn't love you. He never did. He just used you, you'll see.

I clenched my jaw and wanted to scream. I was in the lobby, so there were people but just 3 or 4. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I flinched causing him to jump.

"Mam, are you okay?" He asked.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine." I stutter. I run off before he could say anything else. I literally felt broken. I could go back to my family and convince them that I'm better, or I could find my own place. Before I could decide on anything, I had to get stuff off my chest. I got in my car and sat there for just a minute. I looked at where Sam's apartment was and I saw him staring at me. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. I felt guilty, heartbroken, weak, and a little angry. I turn on the car and drove off.

I went to the nearest bar there was. I knew I wasn't legally allowed to drink, but I did it anyway. My dad's friend, Tony, worked at this bar so maybe he'll let me. I normally didn't drink, but today was the day I went through my first break up. Usually, if you're the one to break up with someone you're okay, but not in this case. I didn't want to break up with him. But, I also didn't want him to see me struggle.

I walked into the dim lighted bar and got weird looks from men. Some were like what is she doing here? Others were looking at me sexually, which honestly made me feel uncomfortable. I sat at a bar stool and waited for Tony to come.

"Ryn? What are you doing here?" He asked.

"To drink." I state. He gives me a weird look ans shakes his head in disappointment.

"Ryn, you know I can't do that. You're too young. Listen, I heard about you father going to jail for abuse and I'm sorry, but drinking isn't the answer." Tony explains. I rest my head on my hands and feeling like I was going to cry. I held in the tears and sat up again.

"Well, neither is smoking." I pulled out a cigarette from my purse and lit it. I blew out the smoke and started to cough. Tony yanked it out of my hand and put it out.

"You're better than that." He stated. I shook my head.

"No, I'm not. My family hates me. I had to break up with someone I love. I feel like I'm going crazy. I just want to forget it all. Please?" I asked. Tony seemed disappointed that I would ask this. To me, Tony's always been like a father. He does have a three year old daughter, McKenna, that he says reminds him of me when I was her age. If I had Tony as a father, I wouldn't have gone through any of this. My life would have been perfect. But if Tony was my father, Sam wouldn't have saved me.

"Only a few." Tony responds. I grin.

"Thank you, Tony." I say as he gives me a drink.

"Your welcome, but don't tell your mother okay." Tony states. I smirk.

"Okay." I tilt my head backwards drinking the drink that Tony had given me. I gulped it down not really knowing what drink it was. Before I knew it, I was finished with it. I asked for more and more. Then, my version became blurry, I felt light headed, and then, I blacked out.