Ryn's pov

I drove as fast as this car could go. I didn't stop. I didn't slow down. I kept going. I didn't look back at my past, just at the road ahead of me. I took a drink of whatever was in the cup holder and squinted my eyes because it was so strong. It must have been dad's whiskey. I suddenly remember Sam. I slam my foot on the break and push my against the seat.

"Why do I screw up everything!" I shout angrily. No one's around to here me. I'm just downtown and no one comes here. I lean my head on the stirring wheel and cry. 95% of my life is crying. It's what I do best. But trust me, I wish I had I better hobby. I suddenly heard a knock on my window.

"Ryn! What the hell are you doing out here?" It was Sam. I could actually trust Sam and I knew he trusted me. He'd be the first.

"What the hell am I doing out here? No Sam, the real question is, why is it that everytime I try go somewhere I end up bumping into you?!" Sam had no response. I wasn't in a good mood, obviously.

"Ryn, are you okay? I can tell you've been crying." Sam says in a comforting and soft voice.

"I'm fine." I lie. Sam gives me this odd look.

"Don't lie to me Ryn. I know you. And I know that your lying." Sam replies. I roll my eyes and put my hands on my face.

You're family hates you.

They can't trust you.

You deserve to die.

You have no right to be around these people.

Die Ryn.

Die Ryn!

Die!!

All of these thoughts filled my head. I feel like I'm going crazy. Tears roll down my eyes again and my eyes hurt from crying so much. Sam opened my car door and picked my up bridal style. He took me into this motel and lied me on a bed.

"So, do you want to tell me why your crying?" I shake my head.

"I'd rather not talk about it at this moment, if you don't mind." Sam grins.

"I don't. I just don't get why you cry most days." Sam stated. The answer was simple.

"Because I'm sad most days." Sam took a deep breath and cleared his throat. He stayed quiet for a minute, then finally spoke up.

"What is depression like?" He said in a soft voice.

"It's like drowning. Expect you can see everyone around you breathing." I replied back with a few cracks in my voice. "Do you want to know something Sam?"

"What?"

"Monsters don't sleep under your bed. The sleep inside your head." Sam looks at me with sadness and fear. I can't lose Sam. He's the only thing I have left.

"Ryn, just because you can't see the light and the end of the tunnel doesn't mean your future's not bright. Keep going I promise you'll get there." I smile at his effort of trying to make me feel better.

"Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a happy little girl...then she grew up and turned into a monster." Sam stayed speechless."Sam, my future isn't bright at all. I'm not even sure if it's there." It was silent for a while then finally Sam spoke up.

"If you're alone, I'll be you're shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be you're shoulder. If you need to be happy, I'll be you're smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me." I grin, get up from the bed and walk over to Sam.

"That's the reason why I love you." We both smile and each other and Sam kisses me and kisses me and kisses me. I smile on Sam's lips and he smiles back.

"I need you to promise me something." I nod and he continues. "Promise me that your life will not depend on me."

"Why?" I questioned.

"Guys are really stupid at times. I just don't want to screw up that much." Normally, I'd get mad, but I'm in no shape to cry again. I just smile and nod.

"I promise." Sam grins and wraps his arms around my waist. He pulls me in and I wrap my arms around his neck. Everything was perfect at the moment. Then voices came to my head.

Why are you still alive?

Give up..

Slit your wrist....Do it...Do it...Do it!!

My smile and the voices fade and my eyes swing open. I gasp and Sam opens his eyes as well and stops smiling. I looked into my eyes and saw my fear. He became concern.

"Ryn? Are you okay?" Sam asked. I shake my head to clear my mind and smile. I didn't need him scared of me either.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where are we anyway?" I randomly ask. Sam

"Oh yeah, were in a motel. I stay here when I need to clear my mind." Sam says as he gets up and sits on the bed.

"Clear your mind? Your life isn't even that hard?" I state. Sam flashes ma a look.

"Maybe it's not as hard as yours, but my life isn't perfect. I went through depression, I lost a family member, I got my heart broke. I guess that's just life." He explains. I understood most of it. At the top of the list was depression. I've been in depression for 7 years. Trust me, it's like hell.

"Have you ever gotten to the point in depression where you thought of suicide?" Sam looked at the ground. I could tell he didn't want to answer the question. Some questions just shouldn't be asked.

"I guess you could say that. I didn't really want to commit it, I just wondered of who would care if I was dead." Sam admitted. When he said that I felt a jolt of sadness. Life without Sam, I can't even picture. If Sam hadn't come into my life, I'd literally be dead by now.

"Well, I hope you know that I would care." Sam smiles.

"I know Ryn." I smile. I run to the bed and jump in his arms. Sam pecks my lips.

"I love you Ryn." Sam states.

"Yes, I know." I laid my my head on Sam's chest. It was peaceful. Then the voices came back.

Die Ryn, kill yourself. I know you want to. We both know your a waste of time and space. And that your in pain. Just end it right know.

There were voices in my head that were trying to kill me.