Ryn's pov

I lied in the bathroom floor crying, bleeding, stinging, hurting. My head was a dark place at the moment. It was scaring me. The blood kept flowing down my arm. All I saw when I looked down at my ahnd was blood. Turns out he wasn't my hero. He was the villian that made me wrose.

I heard someone coming, but I can't do anything. I was so weak and scared. I was frozen in fear. But the weird thing was, I was scared of myself. I footsteps got closer. Finally, the person reached me. It was mom. She covered her mom and cried.

"Ryn! Why did you this?!" My hollers in tears. I didn't speak. Mom ran over to me and grabbed my arm.

"Ava! Call the ambulance!" Mom yells. Ava soon sees my blood. I look into her eyes, and all I saw was fear. I don't know if she was scared of me, or if she was scared that I would do this again. Ava ran off and called the ambulance. I looked down at my forearm, and I began to cry harder. I was covered in cuts. Mom held me in her arms tightly. She didn't let go. The longer I sat there. The more blood I lost. The more blood I lost, I started to black out.

---

I woke up hooked up to machines. I was in a hospital. Mom was in tears. My head was pounding. What happened?

"Mom, what happened?" I ask. Mom covers her mouth like she doesn't want to tell me the answer.

"I don't know. It seems like you tried to kill yourself." I roll my eyes.

"Mom, I was upset. I didn't try to kill myself." I said.

"It's still terrible Ryn!" Mom shouts. I understand why she's upset with me. Her own daughter cut herdelf for her own selfish way.

"Mom, I understand why you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you Ryn! I'm scared." She begins to cry again. " You're my daughter, I'm supposed to keep you happy and safe. Harming yourself makes me think I'm not doing that."

"Mom, you've done an amazing job keeping me happy. Just, sometimes I feel like the world is against my. I'm not as strong as the world." I explain. My shakes her head.

"No, the world is not as strong as you. Ryn you're one of the most wisest, strongest, and bravest teenagers I've ever known. Please, don't give up on yourself." I feel a tear fall down my eye. I quickly wipe it fall.

"I won't promise anything." I said not looking at my mom. I closed my eyes, but I could still hear mom gasping. I was making her weak. It sucks how I can easily close my eyes and not see the world, but still hear pain of the people.

"Please Ryn. Promise me." I didn't say anything. I didn't move. I stayed still. Mom eventually got up and left. I begin to cry even harder. What have I done? I sit in silence for a few minutes until my doctor comes in.

"Hello. You are Ryn Woodson, right?" She asked politely. I smile and nod.

"I'm your doctor, Dr. Mandy. If you'd like you can just call me Mandy." She states.

"Okay, Mandy, is everything okay with me?" I ask.

"Well, you've lost a fair amount of blood, but otherwise you're good to go. Now, we need to discuss counselling." She takes out a note pad and a pen.

"I don't need it." I state. She curls her lips.

"Are you sure?" Mandy asked. Her long blonde her was dangled and her fair skin shimmered. She seemed so young to be a doctor.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I just got a little upset-"

"A little?" She interrupted.

"Okay fine, I got really upset. It's normal to get upset." I claim. Mandy nods her head.

"Yes, indeed it is, but it's not normal to cut your arm open. I'm offering counselling to help you." Mandy implies. Help me my ass. This bitch probably thinks I have problems. I'm perfectly okay. So what, I'm depressed. It's not my fault.

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't want counselling. I want to be home with my family." I declare. I also wanted to be with Sam, but God knows he's the last person I need to see right now. Dammit! I miss how his brown eyes comfort me. There's nothing I want more that to see him right now.

"I understand Ryn. I suppose that you may go home since your cuts aren't that deep, so stiches won't be nesseccary." Mandy admits. She gets up and helps me off the hospital bed. I look down at my forearm to see a bloody bandage wrapped around my cuts.

"Would you like us to change that before you go?" Mandy asked. I shake my head.

"No thank you." I had such an urge to get home. Suddenly, I realize that I don't have anyone to drive me home and I left my home at home. Great. Looks like I'm walking.

I start to walk home and I feel a little drop of rain on my head. I pull down my sleeves so that I won't get cold, and so people won't think I escaped from a mental hospital or something like that. The rain contiunes to come down slightly, then gets heavier, and heavier. I was soaked. I saw a car pull over beside me.

"Ryn?" I heard a familair voice. It was Sam.

"Sam? What are you doing?" I ask while crossing my arms. Sam got out of the car and jogged toward me.

"The real question is, what are you doing? You're soaking wet." I didn't want to lie to him, but I also didn't want him to know I cut, especially since he's the reason for my most recent ones.

"I was on a walk. Now, I'm heading home." I begin to walk away, but Sam catches up with me and grabs my hand.

"Let me give you a ride." Sam insisted. At this point, we were both soaked. I shoke my head and tried to walk away again, but he once again grabbed my hand.

"Listen Ryn I know you're mad at me, but please talk to me. I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you apologize earlier!" I snap back. He puts his face in his hands. When, he lifts his head I discover he was crying.

"Because I knew you wouldn't listen." He puts his wet hands on my wet face and kisses my cheek.

"I really don't want to talk to you right know." I lied. I could be like this forever. I wanted to forgive him, but a part of me said didn't want to.

"I know you don't, but I know there's a part of you that does." Sam smirks and smile. We stare into each other eyes and Sam kissed me. It was a long kiss, and I cherished very second of it.

"You want me to drive you home now?" I nod with smile. We walk to the car holding hands.

"But, don't take me home. Take me to your house." I state. Sam smiles and nods. Then, we drive off to Sam's house.

When we finally got to Sam's house and he offers me some dry clothes. I change out of my wet clothes into sweatpants and short sleeve shirt. Oh no, I cant let Sam see my cuts. I took off the bandage and saw my cuts. There were so many recent cuts and scars. They were up and down my arm. I take my wet shirt and put it back on. I sneak into Sam's room without him seeing. I look through his drawers quietly and quickly as possible. I throw on the oversized long sleeve shirt and walk out. Sam immediatly notices something.

"Didn't I give you a different shirt?" Sam asked. I pull the sleeve down as low as it could go, just in case.

"Yeah, but I get cold easily so I got this shirt from your closet." Nice save Ryn. I think that deserves an applause. But, Sam still had a confused look on his face.

"Show me your forearm." Sam demanded. I instintly got nervous. I have no save for this one.

"No." Okay, great Ryn. Now you're gonna make him gonna see your damn forearm more.

"Please." Sam says softly. His eyes seemed kind. I didn't want to show him, but he was gonna find out soon or later. I thought, might as well get it over with. I take deep breath. I walk towards Sam and sit on the couch.

"Now, what you're fixing to see maybe be very hard to picture my doing, but I did it all." I say as my eyes begin to water. I slowly lift up the sleeve and reveal my dark side. Sam covers is mouth. Instead of flipping out on me, he takes my arm and kisses every scar and the fresh cuts.

"You didn't go for a walk, you were at the hospital weren't you?" I nod.

"And today you cut yourself because of me, didn't you?" I look at the floor, bite my lip and nod while a tear fall down my face, then one from Sam's.

"I'm sorry I did this." I apologize. Sam shakes his head in disappiontment.

"No, don't be sorry. If it weren't for me you won't have some of those cuts. I'm the one who should be sorry." I start to cry, my life is screwed up. Why can't it be perfect? Why can't I be perfect? Sam takes me and hugs me close. He starts to lie down and I lay my head on his chest.

"I'm sorry I screwed up your life." I state. I know Sam hates it when I apologize, but I can't help it.

"Ryn, you're the most beautiful person I've ever laid my eyes on. I wanna thank you for that. So, you shouldn't be saying sorry, you should be saying you're welcome. So, thank you Ryn for coming into my life." I chuckle and Sam holdest me closer.

"You're welsome." I smile.