today

i decided that

i should be

honest

with you

so i told you

that i'm so happy

that your father

had called the

cops on mine

i told you

how much i

hated him

i told you

that after

my mother had

passed away

my father

started to

hurt me

and ruin

himself

as a person

i told you how

my little siblings

had never made it

my mom was

supposed to have

twins

but she had passed

away during the

delivery

which had caused

the babies to never

make it

i told you

that

my father

became an alcoholic

ever since he

got fired

from his job

he was too

hurt

to pay the bills

he never got

hired from

another company

after that

well

at least after

he got into

jail

i told you everything

i told you everything

i would tell no one

else

i even told you

what broke me

the most

that my father

said

he would kill me

if i disobeyed him

with zero regrets

i had mentioned

that my grades

went down

ever since my

mother's passing

i gave up on

everything

i gave up on

finding someone

even though there

were still many girls

back then

who would want me

i always rejected

them

why would i

love someone else

before loving me?

i wondered

the hypocrisy

really showed

but i was too

dumb to realize

that back then

so sometime

later

i wondered

why would anyone

want an embarrassing

person like me?

but you

you

you you you

you're everything

everything i would

want

but

why would a guy

like me

get someone like you?

i removed those

thoughts from

my head

pushing them far

back into

my brain

and i continued

telling you

my story

and how thankful

i am

i had told you

how happy i was

that you are

here

with me

listening to everything

i'm telling you

everything i wouldn't

be able to let out

to anyone else

i told you

that i don't want

you to go anywhere

so please stay with

me

i mouth to

myself

lucky you didn't

see or hear