a/n holy ahit 30k+ reads tysm!!

"i just can't, I'm sorry" Angel says walking into her room with me following close behind her.

For the past 20 minutes I've been trying to convince her to come to the sleepover, but she isn't budging. I even bought her Starbucks, but nothing.

"Just ignore Clay" I roll my eyes "It's dumb that you still don't want to hang out with them because of him"

"That's not the reason!" she squeals

But truth is, it is the reason. She was on board until she heard his name, then immediately backed out claiming she was meeting with some other friends. Bullshit.

"Don't you want to see Nick" I nudge her arm

"Nope" she says playing dumb

"Oh come on, I forgave him, so can you" I grab her by the shoulders "Please"

"Look, Char" she says, backing away from me and plopping onto the bed "I won't tell you what to do, I can't control you... But"

"There's always a but" I roll my eyes

"Shut up and listen" she shushes me "But, as your friend, I can advice you on what you should do, and I don't think being friends with Clay is the healthy option"

We aren't friends though

I sigh "I appreciate you for voicing your point of view... But I'm choosing to trust ny instinct on this one because... I don't think I can be without him" Her face flashes with confusion "Even as friends" I add so that she doesn't suspect anything

Angel slowly shakes her head in "Fine, I'm going to try and tolerate him"

"Thank you" I smile

"I still can't go though" she adds "I'm hanging out with Jacob, we haven't in a while and I kinda miss him"

Clay has taken over my life to the point where I forgot of my friends. Maybe there is a problem after all

"Fine" I huff "Oh, did I tell you Clay invited me to England" I excitedly say, trying to change the subject

"Holy shit, that's pretty nice of him" Angel says in shock.

She now stands up and walks towards her closet. Angel's room is very similar to mine, but slightly bigger, I think.

"Yeah, he wanted to surprise George but it ended up being the other way around" I laugh

"Is he nice?" she asks and I nod

"Very"

"When were you going to England again?" she asks, still looking inside her closet

"I didn't tell you" I say "I believe it's by the end of February"

"Oh so there's like two months left" she says while folding her clothes

"You could say so, yes"

"Is Nick going?" she asks

"I'm not sure... Why don't you ask him?" I say confused, I thought they had something going on

"Because I'm ignoring him" she simply answers "You can't have a boy think they fully have you, don't give them that power" she turns and winks at me

Typical Angel

"Oh, so you're making him sweat a bit" I chuckle

"Yeah... and also my kitty is kinda tired from all the-" she begins but I quickly shut her down

"Ok, this has been great" I say, standing up from her bed "But I gotta go pack, all of my clothes are no longer at their house so I need to take something with me"

"You're unbelievable, I bet you said nastier things to Clay" she teases me, and I turn completely red

"Shut up"

"Make me" Angel answers puckering her lips

"Fuck offfffff"

"This is my room" she complains

"And... I'm out, bye" I say finally getting up from the bed and head back to my room

"Please don't fuck Clay" she shouts

However, I don't turn around. I walk out of the room acting as if I didn't hear anything... when in reality I did. And I'm not gonna follow what she says.

"Clay?" I ask entering his house

"He went out" A british voice answers from the couch "Where's your friend?" I wanted to meet her"

"She had other plans" I answer "But she did say that she wants to meet you"

I now walk towards the couch and plop down next to him, I notice he's watching some random cartoon on the T.V

"Sapnap won't shut up about her" he chuckles "Just like Dream won't shut up about you"

"It's not the same-" I roll my eyes

"I know, I know" he laughs "He still talks about you, a lot"

I can't help but smile. I already know how he feels about me, but... Well, George confirming it feels good.

He's probably trying to get me to soften on the idea of Clay and I dating again. Saying how he often talks about me, or cute things he does regarding me

Little does he know, I'm already down bad for him.

I want to tell him, I want to tell Angel, and Nick, and my parents, and everyone about what we have, because it makes me feel a lot of ways I haven't felt before.

But the dilemma of us being too much for each other still stands.

Angel's warnings ring through my ears, Nick not knowing why Clay reacts that way around me when something goes slightly wrong... Shit even Adrien going off on how he's the 'safe option'. Everyone seems to know our relationship has been doomed since the start.

I don't want them to have the satisfaction of saying "i told you so", secret is our only option. For the moment, at least, until we learn to agree on disagreeing on a lot of things.

"Hello?" George says waving his hand in front of me, and I get pulled away from my thoughts "Earth to Charlotte"

I blink a few times, reconnecting with what's going on around me

"Clay is here, and he has alcohol" George grins.

I jump out of the couch and walk towards the front door

"Need help?" I smile. Clay's eyes light up when he sees me, and he nods

After getting everything in the house, I notice he didn't buy as much alcohol as I thought

"Do you think this'll be enough?"

"Yep, I don't plan on drinking, so it's just you four" he says scratching the back of his head

"Three" I correct him "Angel isn't coming"

"She still doesn't like me?"

"It's not that... She wanted to hang out with Jacob, said she'll be here for the next one. Oh, and also something about wanting to meet George" I explain

"Yeah, that and the fact that she doesn't like me" Clay pushes

"Clay..." I warn him "Wait" I say trying to change the subject "Aren't you going to drink?"

"I didn't really drink much before" he shrugs and then gets closer to me, placing a bottle on the counter behind us, pressing our bodies together "You drink enough for the both of us"

I can't answer, remaining still, I stare into his green eyes. Clay then gets closer to me, putting his mouth over my ear

"I like taking care of you" he whispers, sending a shiver down my spine

"What?" he teases "Cat got your tongue?"

Before he can keep on teasing me any longer, we hear quick footsteps approaching us.

"What did our little Clay buy for tonight" Sapnap loudly says when entering the kitchen.

Clay almost flies off of me, jumping to the other side of the kitchen

"Did you ge-" Sapnap begins but then stops "Why is she the same color as my merch?" he asks pointing at me

"The florida weather is killing me" I nervously laugh.

Nick looks between Clay and I, squinting his eyes, not buying a single thing we're saying

"Some gin and vodka" the blond boy answers

"I'm... Gonna go tell George" He signals to the living room, quickly exiting the room we were in.

Once he leaves, I walk towards Clay again and slightly nudge him

"Are you stupid" I whisper "What did I tell you"

"What?!" he says, acting dumb

"Don't 'what' me Clay-ton" I point at his chest

"He doesn't suspect anything, don't worry" he says, placing a kiss on my forehead

"He definitely does, didn't you notice how he just stared at us?"

"Please Char, it's Nick... Does he really understand anything?" he says

"That's rude" I frown

"Never" he slowly chuckles "Now, help me get everything ready for tonight"

Now I sit on front of the three best friends, laughing at some dumb joke Nick made. We just finished watching a movie, and it's soon time for the drinks

"Should I pull out the vodka now?" George asks and we all nod

"I'm not drinking" Clay says when Nick places a cup in front of him

"Oh don't be a prude" George complains, walking back into the room with four bottles under his arms

"I'm just going to make sure none of you break anything, or yourselves" he rolls his eyes "Specially you" he points at me

"Hey! I never broke anything" I say

"Yes, because I stopped you" Clay laughs and I flip him off

"Let's play a drinking game, it'll be boring if we don't"

"Beer pong but without the beer?" I suggest and everyone agrees.

After carefully placing all the little cups on a table Clay pulled out from his garage, we decide on the teams.

I wanted to play with Dream, but since he's not drinking, the guys decided it'd be best if I played with George since Nick is less of a lightweight than both of us.

As expected, George and I lost, and we got drunk very fast... Good thing I didn't play with Clay, I'd be passed out from the amount of alcohol Nick had to down.

"Let's play something else now" I say "Like truth or dare"

"What a dumb game" Clay says

"Remember how the last game turned out" Nick warns but I lightly push him

"But it's a sleepover now" I say "And George never played it"

"Actually, I did when I was in coll-"

"Shush" I put my finger on his mouth, shutting him up "You've never played it" I giggle

"She's right" he turns to look at the other guys, "Let's play truth or dare"

"I hate the fact that drunk them plot against us" Clay tells Nick, pointing at us

"I... think that..." Sapnap slurs "truth or dare is fun" he complains, sliding on the floor until he's sitting next to us

"Im surrounded by drunk idiots" Clay's hand flies to his face

"Truth or dare" I look at Nick, ignoring the fact that Clay just called all of us idiots. Too drunk to care anyways.

"Mmmm, truth"

"What's your honest opinion on me" I smile

"Honestly, I think you're funny and pretty" he begins and I smile "But such a fucking idiot for not letting Dream move on"

I feel a pang on my stomach, and my eyes begin to water. If I was sober I'd probably not cry, but I can't help it right now.

Clay's face washes with worry and he hurries next to me, hugging me from the side and caressing my arm

"Why don't we leave the honest opinions for when none of you are drunk" Clay suggests

George and Nick begin to fight, George scolding Nick for making me cry

"But... but" I sob

"You're not holding me back" he whispers "I'm staying, waiting, because I love you"

"You do?"

"Yes, a lot"

I sit up a little so I can reach his ear "I love you too"

"I know" he genuinely smiles.

Before George or Nick can notice our little moment, I get away from Clay and sit a few feet away from him.

"I'm all fine now" I announce, grabbing all of their attention "Pass me a shot, Nick"

"LETSGOOO" he shouts, and gives me the little shot glass full of vodka. I quickly down it, barely making a face

"I'm sorry, by the way" Nick says "You're pretty cool"

"Say I'm stupid again and I'll chop your balls off" I threaten him, causing Sapnap to put his hands up as if he was surrendering

"I actually said you were an id-"

"Nick"

"Fair"

"Let's keep on going" George laughs at our little fight

"Nick It's your turn" Clay says

"Ok, sober Clay, truth or dare"

"Dare" he squints his eyes

"Can we get a dnf kiss" Nick says

"No way" George shakes his head

"Yes way" I say "Don't you kiss the homies goodnight?" I giggle

"Oh shut up, George" Clay rolls his eyes "Come here"

"No, Dream" George screams

"Come here Georgeeee" Clay says once more, standing up and making his way towards his friend. Once he reaches George, he scoots down and reluctantly pecks him on the lips

I turn to my side to see Nick holding up a phone and grinning

"Once you face reveal, you're done for" he laughs

"Oh em gee, Sapnap with a dnf kiss on video, what will he do" I laugh as well

"Post it"

"Nick" Clay walks up to Sapnap

"I'm kidding dude, relax" he throws his hands up in the air again

"I am not, delete that, right now" he sternly says

"The fuck I will"

"Guys, stop fighting" I chuckle, taking another long sip from my drink. Clay looks at me and pulls my cup away

"Hey! Give it back" I pout and start pulling on his arm

"No wait, It's empty..." he says

"But I had just filled i-"

"I'll get you another one after the next truth or dare, don't worry" he smiles, making me forget the reason why I was being so moody.

"You're the best" I smile back

"Ew" Nick says in front of us. "Ok, Charlotte, truth or dare" he then adds

I think about it for a second. Fuck it.

"Dare" I answer

"I dare you to kiss Clay" Nick answers

-

-

-

a/n

SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FRQUENTLY

i swear im never going to leave this fanfic in half. Im determined to finish this..

and maybe make yall cry

please please vote, the vote/views ratio is very big so vote :)