《Control (Book 1 of Control Series)》Chapter 34

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To be honest being transferred from house to house wasn't that bad. I mean there were ups and downs but, I'm glad I did it. Over Jared's house the good parts was me being spoiled and the bad part was I was spanked for the first time. Being with Dylan the good part was I got to get to know him and that was fun but, the bad part was he spanked me in a public place. With Sebastian I got to watch Disney movies, eat my favorite food all while being cuddled up with Sebastian. That was the good part. I thought that me having an episode earlier today was the bad part but, I guess not.

When I wake up I'm staring up at angry green eyes. "Who are you," she asks. I just blink at her not fully processing her words still sleepy. I guess my blinking doesn't satisfy her because, next thing I know her claws are digging into my skin causing me to whimper the left over drowsiness evading me. "You little bitch I asked you a question." I blink a few more times before, answering, "Rosaline." She sneers. "What are you doing in my husband's house?" I freeze. Husband? Husband. I know Sebastian, Dylan and Jared want to get in my pants I'm not stupid. I'm not going to lie and say it's fine because, it's not. They're buying me clothes and stuff even when I say not too. Instead of wasting my breath I let them but, now knowing Sebastian is married. Married. I feel disgusted. Disgusted because not only is he married but, when she said that I felt sad and hurt. How do I feel something for a person who I haven't even known for more than 24 hours? Because you're like a leech that craves for attention rather than love. I sigh wincing when her grip tightens and I know she draws blood. "Are you deaf? Answer my question." My mouth goes dry and I struggle to swallow. What do I say? I'm over here because, your husband wants to seduce me. Instead I say "I'm here because, Jared is busy and Sebastian offered to take care of me." The door slams open and my head snaps to see the twins.

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"She's lying mother," the one on the right says. I forgot which is which. "She's father's new bed mate." There's a hissing sound and I turn to look at the woman in front of me-the twin's mother- and pale. If looks can kill I'd be six feet under. She looks livid and ready to kill me. "You lying little slut," she hisses looking at me with disgust. I shrink away from the look ashamed. I'm here with a married man. Wait, he hasn't done anything to me. He hasn't kissed me or so much as touched me inappropriately so,I'm ok. No you're not. Stop trying to convince yourself you're in the right when you're in the wrong. I shake my head. I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't do anything wrong. I take a deep breath. "No I'm not he hasn't given me so much as a kiss on the cheek," I explain hoping it'll get this woman to leave me alone. "So you're calling my kids liars," she asks and I vigorously shake my head. "No, no of course no- good because, even if you wanted my husband you wouldn't get him," she interrupts and my mouth opens and closes, no words coming out like a fish out of water. "Even if I wasn't married to him he still wouldn't want you. I mean have you seen yourself? You look like a six year old with a your flat chest." I blush in anger and embarrassment crossing my arms over my chest. They weren't big and it's not the first time my small chest has been pointed out but, when she says it, it really hurts like a knife stabbing me in the chest. I haven't even known her more than a few minutes, no a few seconds. I think it's just because, I'm really emotional. Or weak.

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"I bet you're a virgin," she says and I turn even redder making her laugh although it's deprived of humor. "See you don't even know how to please a man." She laughs again and even though she stops the sound plays through my head non-ending. "Your hair looks like a 2 year old did it and you're so short like a garden gnome." She keeps going on picking at my insecurities and I curl up in a ball wishing I could go crawl into a hole and spent the rest of my life in there where I'd die from starvation or dehydration. As she speaks I feel as if time purposely stretches so it goes slowly making me feel like forever I'm stuck in this moment. My bare arms feel wet and it's then I realize I'm crying. Again she laughs and once again it echoes through my mind releasing a series of taunting laughs that my memory has stored. I never laugh. I will giggle and chuckle but, never laugh. Because, every time I do I'm reminded of the laughter. The laughter that sounded through the air because of the kid's happiness. The happiness that was cause by my pain. I begin to shake and my breath comes out in rapid pants. I can't breathe but, my body refuses to move. I'm stuck in a daze filled with people's laughter. Why? What did I do to deserve this? A loud bang snaps me out of the daze and I uncurl myself looking around to see the woman gone.

My breath slows and it feels as I can breathe. I take a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. I sit back on the couch and stare at the wall. Her husband. I cringe. Am I that easy to read? Do I give off a virgin vibe? . Doesn't she think I know that? Didn't she think that I thought I was tall. When you're tall do you have people grabbing your things and putting it out of your reach? When you're tall do people always look down on you? When you're do people shove you in locker? Because, if so then I need to go there. Where have you ever been to a place where tall people are more bullied than short people? I haven't been to anywhere like that and I've been to 12 different schools. 12. Different. Schools. Do you know what it's like to be new almost every year? Being in schools where everyone knows everyone and you're immediately the outsider."No I don't." Yes you do have you been in front of a mirror. "Yes," I whisper. If you have then you know how ugly you look. Your baby fat hanging out, your flat chest making people mistake you as a boy and those big ugly thighs. How can you look at yourself? "I don't know," I whisper, a tear rolling down my cheek. Do you blame them for treating you like trash? I pause. "No." Don't you think you owe them a favor by punishing yourself? "Yes." Don't you think that sooner or later you'll have to kill yourself. "Yes."

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