bucket list

noun

a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime:

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My legs lift as it lays on top another, my eyes flutter open seeing Blake in between my legs. My hands dig deep into his hair as his arms wrapped around my body tightly afraid to let go of me. What was I doing? Here I am laying down with the love of my life after everything we've both been through. Was it right to give him hope after being told I wasn't going to live forever.

I love this man. With everything I have. My hands stroke his long curls as my head turns to the bright sunny window, the streaks of light hitting Blakes black hair perfectly. I sigh thinking of what to do. I can leave no and let him go through the heart break quicker than my death, or I can be selfish and stay with him. I didn't know what to do! I'm never confused but recently I have been.

Was I scared of my death though? I wasn't as scared before but now I am, scared to leave him, scared to let go of the man who has captured my heart. The bad boy took it within his grasp.

I hear my phone besides my head vibrate as I reach out to get it, receiving a text from my mother about chemotherapy. Texting her back saying that Belle would take me. "Is everything okay princess?" I hear him mumble into my stomach, I breathe in slightly thinking if I should tell him the truth.

"I have chemotherapy at two o'clock. I'm going to text belle to take me-"

"I will take you." He answered back, I lifted my head staring into his ocean blue eyes. My eyebrows scrunched surprised as his answer. This was a first.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am princess, come on lets get ready." He whispered, I couldn't help the smile spreading across my face as he lifted himself up straddling over me. He rests his forehead onto my own. "I am sorry...and-and I promise to make up for it."

"Blake I don't want to hurt you...I have a chance that I might not-"

"Don't, hope...hope is important..we can do this together. The both of us.."

"It's going to get hard, the road will be bumpy and-"

"I'm willing to take every risk, I'm going to contact every doctor I know. The best of the best, just for you princess..I'm not letting you leave me again." My hands rested on his cheeks as my thumb grazes underneath his eyes. I feel his soft breath on my nose as I do nothing but nod my head, whispering thank you's.

"You know what we should do princess?" He mutters jumping of the bed as he grabs his sweat pants, slipping one leg in, the other one slides in. He pulls it up to his waist as his eyes don't leave my own.

"What should we do?"

"A bucket list," he said nonchalantly, he walks towards the bathroom away from my gaze as I slip onto the floor grabbing his shirt and throwing it over my half naked body. With sweatpants already worn I follow after him into the bathroom with my arms crossed as I lean against the door.

"What do you mean by a bucket list?"

"List everything you want to do, right now go! Something you would in the future if you beat cancer." He says, I bite onto my lips as he pulls open the shower door and pushes one of the button against the wall. The water falls graciously against the marble flooring as he shut the door allowing it to steam up the room.

"I want to go to Greece and do scuba diving, I want to paint an entire wall, creating any mess I want. I want to go to France to the top of the Eiffel Tower and breathe the air of croissants and wear the silly hats..and if I beat cancer I want kids and if I ever have one It better be a girl so I could name her Layla...or If I have a son I would name him Elias."

I whispered forgetting I was talking to Blake for a moment as I stared at the floor. I was so engrossed into the conversation I didn't notice Blake was giving me a soft smile nodding his head. I let out an esteemed cough, "You should get into the shower, I'm going to clean up and make breakfast." I turn away and shut the door behind me.

After finishing chemotherapy, Blake went out to get something for nearly an hour and a half. I picked up my phone just about to text him when I see him slide into the room breathing heavily. He held a box into his hands and gave me a smile that could light everything up. "Come on, lets go.."

"Go where?" He took out his hands as I insert my own, I follow behind him as we reach towards the exit. He took me out allowing the fresh air to smash against my face. He opened the car door for me as I slid right inside. He rushes to the drivers side and lets out a huff.

His hands graze the wheel before he turns his face to my confused one. "Blake, what are you up to?"

"You'll find out, alright lets go." He reverses out of the hospital drive way and drives straight. Away from my house, away from his penthouse. He turns to me every here and there, I decided to trust the process and Keep quite. I found my self dreaming suddenly.

Chemotherapy gets you tired here and there, I feel my head slowly daze of and lean against the back of the seat. Clearly uncomfortable, I allow my head to fall against Blakes shoulders. My arms slide around before I feel them interlocked with his own. I look up and see him looking down with a soft smile. He played with my fingers, the rings that surrounded them as he continued keeping his eyes on the road.

"Blake.."

"Princess."

"I'm scared..."

"I know..I know you are.." He whispers back.

"I don't want to die...I want to live and graduate...I want to be with you forever...but one day you have to forgive me...for leaving you." I hadn't noticed the tears that left my eyes not until I felt his hands that were locked with my own let down a soft gentle kiss.

"There is nothing to forgive you for, there are many things to thank you for. You were my hope princess, you pulled me out of my dark places and you still do...I love you." My heart bursted into thousands of flutters, the butterflies in my stomach wouldn't leave when I'm with him. He was my lost hope, he was what I needed and what I craved for. Blake. The bad boy. Was the reason I am alive today. Blake was the reason happiness still existed. The bad boy stole my heart and hid it.

"I love you too."