Once Mio had gone off with his nannies for his lessons, Shae sent for one of her ladies-in-waiting to assist her in getting dressed. A task that was a lot more difficult than it ought to be, owing to her aching arm. It was frustrating as she had been certain she was on the mend, and then as she woke up this morning, she'd felt as if someone had taken a knife and stabbed her in the arm. Again.

It was noon by the time she found Castel in the kitchens having a meal. His eyes widened in shock as he saw her enter the kitchens, not unlike most of the kitchen staff. She didn't much care, as she wanted to speak to him and didn't want to wait.

"Your Majesty!" He got off the stool he'd been sitting on by a workbench and sketched her a bow.

She waved away his deference and indicated for him to sit back down, which he hesitantly did. While she considered them friends, and she believed he would agree, he was loath to relax protocol, always aware of her higher rank and his need to act within the bounds of propriety.

"Should you be up and about?" he asked warily as he eyed her. "It's only been a few days."

"I'm well enough, and I was growing bored staring at the four walls of my bedchamber. I heard you will leave us." She crossed her arms over her chest. It was selfish of her, but she didn't want her only friend in the castle to go away. Cas's friendly face had been the one constant in her life these past few years.

"Your Majesty, I—" He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "It has been an honour to protect you. All of you. The High King and the prince as well. But I believe I can be of more use if I join this expedition. I will return here once we complete the mission."

"I certainly do expect you to come back," she said sternly. "That's an order."

A smile flashed across his face before he schooled his features and nodded. "Yes, Your Majesty."

Putting a hand on his armour-clad arm, she searched his warm brown eyes for some sign of his reasons for leaving. "Why though? There are plenty of other excellent commanders and soldiers. Why must you go?"

He stared into his bowl of half-eaten stew for a moment, and she felt a stab of guilt for disturbing him during his break. Finally, he sighed. "I suppose you could say my reasons are personal."

"You don't have to tell me." She shouldn't have put him on the spot. If he didn't want to share his reasons, she had no right to know them and she shouldn't have pushed. "I only wish for you to stay safe."

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Do not worry for me, Your Majesty. I will be fine."

"I hope so. I care for you, Castel, and I would hate to lose you." She smiled wryly. "You might very well be the only friend I have here."

Pushing his bowl away, Cas stood. He was nearly as tall as Felix, and she had to crane her neck slightly to meet his gaze. The warmth in his eyes had reignited as he smiled slightly. "Far be it from me to tell a queen what to do..."

"But you are still going to, aren't you?" she muttered even while his words amused her.

"You might find yourself with more friends if you allow them the chance to get to know you."

She scoffed, but she had been thinking exactly that herself recently. It was rather concerning that her reticence around others was so obvious. But he was right. She needed to allow people close or her existence would remain the lonely wasteland it currently was, and she was tired of it. Tired of being alone.

"I will try," she allowed.

Castel bowed. "You are a remarkable person, Your Majesty. Anyone would be lucky to consider themselves your friend."

A rush of warmth washed over her at his words. It was as close to a declaration of friendship as she suspected he would ever allow. Her eyes burning, she put her hand on his arm again. "Please stay safe, Cas. Whatever your reasons for wanting this mission... Just stay safe."

"I..." His voice trailed off for a moment before he continued. "I was in Messina when the Dark Disciple and his followers first attacked six years ago. It was a massacre. The sheer numbers of his horde overwhelmed us. It wasn't an army. It was a horde. And they flooded into the city like a tidal wave, drowning us all."

She nodded slowly, remembering the attack on her own home. Considering how much damage that small contingent of zealots had wreaked, she could not even imagine the carnage brought to Messina.

"If there is truly a man out there who considers himself the son of the Dark Disciple... Of Deva... Then I must help defeat him before he can follow in his father's footsteps." Cas's features took on a hard edge that she had never seen before, but she understood. Experiencing something like that changed you in ways that could not be explained to someone who had not experienced the same thing.

"Thank you for explaining your reasons to me," she said softly, and he visibly relaxed again. "I'm sorry for making you relive those memories. I know how difficult it can be."

He nodded, his eyes meeting hers in an understanding of their similar experiences.

"Cas." She smiled. "I know you don't approve of me breaking rank, but I'm going to give you a hug now."

A quiet chuckle escaped him. "Anything Your Majesty wishes."

Reaching around his neck, she embraced him, ignoring the uncomfortable firmness of the armour against her chest. "I will miss you when you leave," she admitted. "At least it's not for a little while yet."

"Yes, I will stay until after the Championship Games. And, ideally, I would like to see whoever attacked you apprehended before I leave."

"Is there any progress on that?"

He shook his head, the dark locks of his hair bouncing slightly from the movement. "Sadly, no. It appears no one saw anything. Even Spymaster Boreas is coming up short. Whoever attacked you knew enough to choose a time and place with little people around."

"That's concerning."

"Indeed."

They were silent for a moment, and then she sighed. "I won't take up any more of your time."

It was an excuse. Really, what she wanted was to lie down and rest. It would appear her will was greater than her strength right now, and with her arm throbbing, she left the kitchens. The two King's Guards that had shadowed her since she left the royal quarters followed, their faces showing nothing of what they might think of her closeness with their commander. She wondered if some believed there was something going on between them. Felix certainly appeared to. The memory of his jealousy as they discussed Cas that morning made her smile. He had no reason to be jealous, but she supposed if he heard of her hugging the knight in the kitchens, he might understandably wonder what was going on between them. It was unfair, but she rather liked the idea of Felix being jealous. She'd been jealous of Sorceress Isobel for years, so it was only fair.

The thought made her steps falter for a moment, making one of the King's Guards move forward.

"Your Majesty?"

"I'm well." She flashed him a brief smile before continuing towards the royal quarters. It was the first time she'd ever admitted to being jealous of Sorceress Isobel, but if she was honest with herself, she had been jealous of the other woman since she and Felix first met. She had tried not to be—had told herself she wasn't—because that would mean she cared for her husband, and she had entered into this marriage with open eyes. Everyone knew about Felix and Isobel. But how could one not feel overshadowed by the legendary woman who had literally saved the world? Who could ever dream of taking her place in Felix's heart? You could not compete with that.

~~~~~~