When Shae eventually emerged from behind the screen, wearing her dressing gown tightly tied at the waist, she found Felix sitting on her bed with his stack of letters, and his hair on end from raking his hand through it one time too many. He looked up as she approached, gave her short robe a quick glance, and then returned to his papers with a new furrow between his eyebrows. Maybe he could tell that she had nothing on underneath the thin fabric. Since she preferred sleeping naked, it seemed pointless to get dressed after the bath.

Keeping his eyes firmly on the letter he was currently reading, he muttered something inaudible under his breath. She could have sworn he said 'May the Gods have mercy'.

"Felix?"

"Yes?" He didn't look up.

"Why won't you look at me?" She was fairly certain she knew why, but she perversely asked anyway.

With a sigh, he put his work down on the bed and stood. After running his hand through his blond hair, he finally looked at her. The tense line of his mouth pricked her with guilt for torturing him on purpose.

"I think you know the answer to that question, Shae."

She gathered her long, damp hair over her shoulder and braided it, wanting to keep her fingers occupied. Giving him a look of wide-eyed innocence, she said, "I'm not sure that I do. Would you like to enlighten me?"

His eyes darkened as his gaze travelled over her form, and her skin heated from his obvious admiration. The robe hid little, made of sheer white silk, with elbow-length wide sleeves. It had been created for her wedding chest, probably intended as a wedding night treat. She had never used it for that but liked the feel of it and it had become her most-worn evening garment. Because of its initial purpose, its length was shorter than average dressing gowns, finishing inches above her knees. Something Felix seemed to appreciate as he followed the length of her bare legs with his eyes.

When his gaze finally returned to hers, he shook his head slightly. "You may be inexperienced in some ways, Shae, but you're not naive. You know full well how you affect me."

She frowned at his words. "I'm not inexperienced, we've—"

"Made love?" He let out a humourless laugh.

"I was going to say had intercourse," she muttered, not appreciating his wry humour.

"No, Shae." His words were soft, but there was a hollow quality in his voice. "What we've done is neither of those things. Our times together have been the bare minimum required to procreate. Before that night at the inn, we had never kissed. You barely allow me to touch you." Tilting his head back, he stared up at the ceiling for a moment before turning back to her. "There is a lot more to it than what we have done together. So I would not call you experienced. I don't mean it as an offence. Just stating facts."

Cheeks burning, she stubbornly kept her gaze on him. "If you say so," she said stiffly.

"Do you disagree?" The question hung potently between them with all that it implied. "When we first wed, you set the rules of our marriage, and because of the situation, I agreed. Your father used you as a bartering chip, so making the transition as easy as possible for you felt like the least I could do." He smiled wryly. "You've obviously never wanted to be closer to me than you absolutely had to... and I won't assume you've not found release elsewhere. I would never blame you if you did. You never chose this marriage. Your father did."

"Are you asking if...?" She couldn't help but stare at him.

"No." He sighed. "Merely saying. You don't owe me anything, and if you have, that is none of my concern. Though I won't lie and say I wouldn't be jealous."

She shook her head, unsure of what to make of his confession. "I don't... I mean, I haven't."

A smile flashed on his lips, followed by a look of shame over his obvious relief. "I'm sorry," he said. "I have no right—"

"Felix," she interrupted. "You don't need to apologise. But..." She blushed. As embarrassing as it was, she wanted to know more about what he had said earlier. "What did you mean when you said there is a lot more to it?"

He looked adorably confused for a moment with his forehead furrowing before apparently recalling. Casting another glance at her robe, which admittedly did a poor job of concealing her, he cleared his throat. "Surely you must have some idea?"

"I know I haven't allowed you to kiss me," she said while absent-mindedly playing with the hem of her gown. This was awkward, but she didn't know who else she could ask, and he'd piqued her interest.

"Or touch you," he pointed out with a wry smile. "More than absolutely necessary."

She shrugged dismissively. "I don't see how that could make much difference."

His eyes followed the fabric of her gown as it slid down her shoulder after the shrug, and he swallowed. "I could show you," he offered half-jokingly, but his voice was hoarse, sending a shiver down her back.

Wetting her lips with her tongue, she averted her eyes and pulled the robe back up. It was too much to look at him. He was too handsome. Too tempting. "What else?"

With a groan, he ran a hand through his hair. "Shae," he said imploringly. "I am only human. If it's what you want, I will explain to you exactly what you've not experienced, but I cannot do so when you're so damned enticing. I need you to put some more clothes on. Preferably a burlap sack."

That made her smile. Why did he have to be so damn charming? Couldn't he have been an ugly hunchback that smelled like sewage, and with the personality of a doornail? But no, he had to be one of the most handsome men she had ever met, and a wonderful person to boot. It wasn't fair. There was no denying her attraction to him, and she was tired of fighting it. Tired of feeling alone.

Taking the few steps that separated them, she took Felix's face in her hands, stunning him. Praying to the Gods that she wouldn't regret it—that he wouldn't rebuff her again—she pulled his head down and pressed her lips to his. After a moment, he groaned against her mouth and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. The rougher fabric of his tunic rubbed against her chest above the line of her robe, and the scent of his sandalwood soap tickled her nose.

She'd dreamt of kissing him since the night he was drunk at the inn, and now it seemed she couldn't stop. It was all feverish touches and warm lips. He moved his hands over her back and shoulders, down to her hips, while she wrapped her arms around his shoulders to busy her fingers in the hair at the back of his head. He kissed and nipped at her lips until she opened up, allowing him to deepen the kiss. The rush of pleasure as he possessed her mouth brought forth a low moan.

The sound made him pull her closer, and she could feel the swell of his erection against her abdomen. Knowing she was the reason for his state made her feel giddy, and she couldn't stop herself from moving against him, eliciting a groan. He moved away from her mouth, trailing kisses along her jawline and down her neck. She shivered, holding him tighter as he nibbled on the sensitive skin where her neck met her shoulder. Noticing her reaction, he sucked, kissed, and nibbled until she shivered in his arms.

She yelped in surprise when he cupped her bottom and hoisted her up, and she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist to secure herself. Finding herself at eye-level with him, they stared at each other for a moment, their breaths mingling. His green eyes were dark and glittering, and she almost forgot to breathe. He was so handsome. A few long steps brought them across the room until her back hit the flat wood of the door, his hips pinning her against it. With his hands now free, he buried them in her long hair, cupping the back of her head as he placed long, deep, lingering kisses on her mouth.

The sensations were almost too much. Was this what he'd meant when he talked about 'more'? She held on to him for dear life, returning the kiss with all the pent-up passion she'd buried during their years together. Their position pushed his hardness against her hot, wet core with only the cloth of his breeches separating them. Whenever he kissed her particularly deeply, he ground his hips, rubbing against her most sensitive spot, making her moan every time.

One of his hands slowly caressed along the front of her robe, carefully slipping inside the opening to touch her skin. He stopped just shy of her breasts, moving up to her shoulder, and squeezed gently. The fabric of the robe fell slightly to the side but hitched on the tip of her shoulder. He stopped kissing her for a moment and leaned his forehead against hers as if asking for permission.

She bit her lower lip, suddenly shy. An odd feeling, considering that she had her legs wrapped around his waist, with hips pushing against her. With a small roll of her shoulder, the fabric tumbled down her arm, exposing one round breast. He straightened a little, allowing himself a better view. She could see him struggling to swallow before his eyes came back up to hers.

"By the Gods, you're beautiful," he breathed and his words made her body hum in response.

Looking back down, he slowly trailed his fingertips from her shoulder down along her chest and over her breast, the middle finger rubbing lightly over the nipple. She moaned and leaned her head back against the door. He breathed deeply as he palmed her breast, grabbing and massaging gently. He bent his head to take the nipple in his mouth when a soft knock sounded on the door. They both froze, staring at each other in shock.

She wasn't sure whether she wanted to scream in frustration or pretend she hadn't heard the knock and just keep kissing her husband. Felix looked at her, an eyebrow quirked in question.

"Your Majesty?" Castel's voice on the other side of the door reminded her that there were guards stationed just outside the room. Had they heard them?

"Yes, Cas?" Felix replied, still not moving. "Is something wrong?"

They heard a discreet cough. "One of your son's nannies is here asking to see the queen."

"I should talk to her," Shae whispered, unwrapping her legs from Felix's waist. He nodded, and with a quiet groan, he gently set her down on the floor.

Pulling her robe back together and re-tying the sash, she ran her fingers through her hair a few times, hoping to undo some of the mess Felix's hands had created. He stood a few steps away, watching her, an expression of mixed amusement and frustration on his face. When she finally felt presentable, she cracked the door open and peered outside.

Castel bowed when he saw her. If he noticed her dishevelled appearance, he was too polite to mention it. Instead, he waved to the other guard, who opened the door to the hallway and let the nanny inside.

"Oh, Your Majesty, I'm so sorry to wake you up."

Shae smiled wryly. She supposed she couldn't blame the other woman for assuming she'd been asleep considering her state. "No, that's all right, Marya. Is something wrong with Mio?"

"He's had one of his night terrors and is inconsolable. I thought it might help settle him if he were to see you..." The nanny trailed off as she caught sight of Felix, and she paled, bobbing a quick curtsy.

"Marya," he said with a courteous nod.

"Your Majesty!" she squeaked. "I did not realise you were... were..." She swallowed. "Here."

Shae knew exactly what the nanny must think as she eyed her tousled hair and Felix's half-opened tunic. By the Gods, she had not even realised she'd done that. The most embarrassing fact was possibly that they had been doing exactly what it looked like. She didn't even dare to look at Castel. He must have realised as well. If he hadn't heard them. It was mortifying. Definitely not the type of queen her mother had expected her to be.

"Can you please bring him here?" she asked, not wanting to traipse down the hallways in her thin robe.

"Of course, Your Majesty." The nanny nodded and, after a quick curtsy, she disappeared out the door.

Castel stood a few feet away, staring across the room at nothing in particular, obviously trying to give them some semblance of privacy. Turning back to Felix, Shae gave him an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Mio has these night terrors at times and, usually, I'm the only one who can calm him. I remember having them too as a child. I'm sure he will outgrow them soon, just as I did."

Felix smiled. "Do not apologise. It's our son and I would never deny him the comfort of his mother."

Relief made her relax. His reaction wasn't what she'd expected. If one was to listen to the ladies of the court and their gossip, a man denied his pleasure would be angry and lashing out, but Felix seemed as cheerful as ever.

"Would you mind if I stay too?"

The question surprised her, but she nodded. A few moments later, Marya returned with a crying Mio in her arms. Shae reached out for him, but Felix touched her arm.

"Please, let me carry him to bed for you," he said gently. "You're still recovering."

He gathered the child in his arms before going back to her room, and after a quick thank you to Marya, Shae followed. The three of them curled up in bed together. Shae pulled Mio into her arms and caressed his back. At two, he still allowed her this comfort, and she held his little body in her arms as he cried.

"There, there," she mumbled quietly against the auburn hair at the top of his head.

After a little while, the boy quieted and his arms snaked around her waist as his breathing slowed. Looking over him to Felix on the other side of the bed, she smiled as she saw that he'd fallen asleep. It took her longer to relax enough to let sleep claim her, as her mind kept returning to the events of the evening. She'd never allowed him to touch her like that before, and if this was the 'more' he had spoken of, then she had to agree that it differed greatly from what they had done before.

Torn between the fear of getting hurt and the exhilarating new sensations his caresses had evoked, she almost regretted taking this new step in their relationship. Almost.

~~~~~~