Shae groaned. Or at least she thought she did, but she couldn't hear anything. Her body felt bruised and tender, her limbs weighed down as if lead pulsed through her veins rather than blood. Everything felt foggy, and she struggled to remember where she was or how she got there. After failing to move or even open her eyes, she resigned herself to simply listening to her surroundings. Focusing on the sounds and any impressions she could get.

Whatever she was lying on was soft. Most likely a bed. Her bed? How had she got into it? There was a strange taste in her mouth, bitter and oddly cold. Her throat felt dry, and she desperately wanted a drink. Forcing her lips to move, she pushed the words out with more effort than it should take.

"W... Water."

There was a loud thump as if someone had dropped a stack of books on the floor and a rustling of movement, and a moment later she felt the mattress dip as someone sat down next to her. Gentle fingers touched her cheek.

"Shae?" Felix's voice was soft. Concerned. "How are you feeling?"

She tried to reply, but no words came. The mattress shifted again, and an arm cradled her head to angle it as a cup met her lips. She took a greedy sip of the cool water, only to end up sputtering as it lodged in her throat.

"Careful," Felix's voice said close to her ear. "Small sips."

This time, she drank carefully and was relieved when she could do so without trouble. It helped, the liquid dispelling some of the fogginess in her brain, and she suddenly remembered the attack. The dagger that had nicked her skin. The poison. Finally able to move, she opened her eyes and looked down at her bare arm. The gash was still dark, but more of a faded dark grey than black, and the tendrils flowing from it even paler still, the edges near her shoulder now nearly gone.

"Wh... What happened?" Her voice was little more than a croak, so Felix allowed her a few more sips of water.

"I don't know what you remember," he said, and she turned her head to look at him. He looked as bad as she imagined she did. His hair stood in every direction as if he had dragged his hands through it repeatedly; dark stubble covered his jaw, and equally dark shadows around his eyes made him look like a ghoul. A very tired ghoul.

"I remember being attacked," she said. Her voice hurt from not being used, and she swallowed with some difficulty. "That there was poison. Anything else is just random images I can't quite make sense of."

He nodded. Fluffing her pillows and angling them slightly, he helped her into a half-sitting position. "You've been asleep for two days," he said as he sat down on the edge of the bed, facing her. His hand held one of hers and even if she'd had the strength to pull back, she didn't want to. Not right now. His palm was warm against her, and the simple touch was comforting.

"Two days?" She had no recollection of anything since the poisoning.

"Yes. You passed out after we gave you the first dose of the antidote, and you haven't been properly awake since. We managed to wake you enough to have you take the second dose and get some water into you now and then, but you've been pretty out of it." He smiled wryly. "You gave me quite a scare. We weren't sure you would make it."

A perverse part of her wanted to say that it might have been for the better. He had his heir. With her gone, he could have his happily ever after with Sorceress Isobel. The ending to the story that everyone in the world truly wanted. But something in his green eyes gave her pause. He looked truly relieved. Not at all like someone who wished his wife had perished from a vile poison.

"Well," she said, trying to keep her voice light. "I am still here."

A tender smile spread over his face. "Yes, you are. A true fighter."

The sheer warmth of his presence awakened something inside of her she had allowed to wither, and she rather wished it had stayed dead. But she could no less fight the feelings she had for this man than she could stop the sun from rising over the horizon every morning. That did not mean she had to succumb to foolish dreams of a loving future together. She could still temper her response, and she would learn to live with this, too.

"Grand Sorcerer Arawn said you will need some time to recover your full strength," Felix said, his hand squeezing hers. "You might feel tired longer, but in a few days, you will be well enough to leave this room."

"A few days?" She groaned. "I'm already bored, and I only just woke up."

He let out a bark of laughter. "Please," he said with a smile, "allow yourself to rest. Your recovery will be much faster if you do."

She nodded. Truth was, she was still exhausted, and every movement felt like moving through quicksand. "How is Mio?"

"The little tyke is well. We have guards with him at all times. With all of us, really. We haven't found the attacker," he said grimly. "When we do, I—" He cut himself short. "Beg your pardon. Let's not talk about that. Once you feel strong enough, I will have them bring Mio to you."

"I'd love that." She yawned. "Maybe after I've had a quick nap."

He nodded. "Have another rest. Preserve your strength."

With a quick kiss on her temple, he helped her lie back down. She barely had time to close her eyes before she was fast asleep.

When she woke again, she felt better, and sitting up in bed, she looked around the room. The sky outside her window was dark, with a full moon hanging low over the ocean in the distance. Someone had pulled one of her reading chairs up to the side of the bed, but it was currently empty. On the floor next to it lay a stack of books and papers, an inkpot and quill lying on top.

"The king is asleep in his chambers, Your Majesty."

Her eyes darted to the open door to the sitting room. Castel stood just inside. She'd completely missed him in the semi-darkness of her room. In full King's Guard armour, he was obviously on duty, watching over her. Somehow, it made her safer to know he was there.

She nodded towards the chair and books. "Was he here earlier? I think I remember speaking to him before I fell back asleep."

"He was." Castel took a few steps further into the room. "Tonight is the first time he's left your side since the attack. He slept in that chair. Even when the High Council demanded he continue attending meetings, he forced them all to meet in your sitting room so he would be nearby if you woke up or took a turn for the worse."

Fighting back the burning feeling behind her eyes, she looked at the chair. Felix had done that for her? Why was he making it so difficult for her to keep him out of her heart? Her life would have been a lot easier if he had been an uncaring husband who cared little for her well-being. Instead, he had to be a man of honour who wanted the best for everyone. She could see it from the way he worked hard to keep his subjects happy—to the extent such a thing was possible—and how hard he tried to please her, even when she made it so very difficult for him. He had a kind word for everyone in the castle, even when the members of the High Council frustrated him with their constant bickering.

The people who wanted the High King gone did not realise how lucky they were to have him. They could have had one much worse.

"He didn't need to do that," she muttered, her voice thick with emotion.

A smile tugged at the corners of Castel's mouth. "He did not, but he wanted to. Insisted even when everyone suggested he get some proper sleep for a few hours in his bed. I'm glad he finally agreed now that we can see you are on the mend." He hesitated for a moment before bowing his head. "Forgive my forwardness, Your Majesty, but I am relieved to see the colour return to your cheeks. At one point, you were so pale we feared we had lost you."

"Thank you, Cas." She was rather relieved herself.

Cas pivoted as there was a noise in the sitting room, but immediately relaxed when he saw who approached.

"Is she awake?" Felix's voice sounded tired.

"Yes, Your Majesty," Cas said. "I would suggest you return to bed and get some more sl—"

Felix came in through the door, shaking his head at the knight. "Thank you, but I had a few hours." He yawned. "I'll be fine."

His eyes turned to Shae, and as he saw her sitting up in bed, he smiled softly, making warmth bloom inside her. Wearing nothing but a pair of breeches and an unbelted doublet, he was an enticing sight. Apparently, she wasn't too tired to appreciate her husband's half-naked form. It was difficult not to stare at the wide, muscular chest or the flat stomach visible behind the open fabric. Her mouth felt dry, but this time it wasn't because she needed water.

"How are you feeling?" Felix asked as he padded over to the bed on bare feet.

"Much better, thank you." Had he noticed her staring? She certainly hoped not.

"You should get more rest. There are still several hours before sunrise."

"So should you," she pointed out.

He still looked tired, but a little less so than the last time she had seen him. The pale moonlight from outside threaded his golden hair with silver when he sat down on the edge of the bed, facing her. She laced her fingers together in her lap to keep herself from reaching out to touch his face, to feel the rough stubble of his jaw and cheeks against her fingertips. The memory of their first and only kiss made her lips burn. It had been such a shock to discover exactly how attracted she was to Felix, and that was exactly why she should stay away from him. She would do well to remember his heart belonged to another.

"I should," he agreed, bringing her back from her thoughts. "But I struggle to stay asleep. I keep waking, worrying that something has gone wrong. That the antidote didn't work."

He turned his face towards the window, and his lips curved into a warped smile. "It's foolish, I know."

"You could sleep in here." The words spilled out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying, and his eyes snapped back to hers. She had never allowed him to spend the night in her chambers, and she could tell by the widening of his eyes that she'd shocked him. "I mean," she muttered. "It is not as if we haven't already shared a bed when we travelled back. If it will allow you to rest better by being close, then for the remaining hours of this night, I don't see why you can't stay here."

"I—" Felix stopped for a moment as they heard the door latch. Castel had left the room to give them some privacy, closing the door between them. Giving her a sheepish grin, Felix asked, "Do you think we made him uncomfortable?"

She smiled. "I suspect the guards around the castle see and hear all sorts of things."

He chuckled. "You are probably correct."

When he tried to hide a yawn behind his hand, Shae scooted further into the bed and patted the free space next to her. "Lie down," she said. "It sounds like you have had little sleep the last few days."

His green eyes shifted between her and the bed, then back again. "Are you sure?"

"It's only sleep, Felix" She gave him an amused look. "We did it several times recently." She didn't mention how difficult it had been lying next to him, wanting his touch, but knowing she should deny herself the pleasure.

As Felix shrugged out of his doublet and hung it on the chair next to the bed, she watched him silently, wondering why that was. Why was she denying herself the pleasure? She was a grown woman. Surely she could separate the physical side from the emotional. Plenty of men had mistresses outside of their marriage, so keeping feelings aside did not seem impossible. Maybe she could learn to do it too.

She lay back down when Felix climbed into the bed and under the covers. Now was obviously not the time, as she was too exhausted and her arm ached dully. But it was something that warranted further consideration. Staying away from Felix had been much easier before he kissed her, but now that she'd had a taste of the fire between them, it was much more difficult to lock away that side of her. It was turning out even harder than when she'd had to lock away her bow and arrows.

Shifting to lie on her side, she tried to ignore the ache in her arm with no success. Now that her mind was finally clearing of the fog from the poison, she couldn't help but wonder who had attacked her. And why? While Felix attracted the ire of some rulers of the kingdoms of Erya when he favoured the sides of their subjects rather than the rulers, she was a shadow figure with little involvement in politics. She was nothing more than the accessory on his arm. Proof that he had done his duty and married one of the princesses presented to him after his coronation. What could she possibly have done to warrant this attack?

A chill spread through her, and she instinctively moved a little closer to Felix. He was always warm. She needed that warmth.

"Would you please hold me?"

There was a moment's silence. Maybe she had shocked him. Then the mattress shifted, and he pulled her back against his chest, his arm settling around her chest. She always wanted to appear strong, and she knew she could take care of herself. But even if just for a moment, she wanted to enjoy the warmth of his embrace. To not have to pretend she was all right, and that the events of her past had not scarred her. Maybe not on the surface, but her soul had never quite recovered after the night her home was attacked. But lying there, with Felix's arm firmly around her, his warmth enveloping her, she felt safe. Safe in a way she hadn't felt since that fateful night.