Shae ran her fingers over the needlework in her lap for what must be the fifteenth time, but she could not quite bring herself to return to it. Glancing out the window, she wished she could go outside and do some target practice. After having had a bow during their travels, she missed the feel of the grip in her hand. She sighed, wishing things were different. Wishing she didn't feel so lonely.

Even sitting in a drawing room with twelve other women, her ladies-in-waiting, she felt alone. It had only been a few days since they returned, but she and Felix had slipped back into their old patterns as if nothing had happened. After having been gone for so long, the council needed his presence and he had been a scarce sight in their shared drawing room. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed their chats. Their time together on the road was the closest she had felt to anyone other than Mio in years.

Looking around the room, she watched the faces of her ladies-in-waiting. They were women she saw every day, but she wouldn't consider anyone a friend. There was always that distance between them and she didn't know how to breach it. Didn't even know if she wanted to.

She wondered if it would have been different if she had been allowed to choose them herself instead of them all being sent to her by the Kingdoms of Erya. It was a great honour to be a lady-in-waiting to the High King's queen, an honour automatically granted to the wives of the High Council. Twelve council members, one from each kingdom, giving her twelve ladies-in-waiting. A ridiculous number. Did anyone need that many? It seemed unthinkable. But any kingdom left out would have complained and the High King always had to appear equally fair to all.

Unable to stay seated any longer, she stood. "Please excuse me, ladies. I am weary and will retire to my chambers."

One lady stood to follow. A tall, blonde woman from the island kingdom of Bergen by the name of Hedda. With there being so many of them, they took turns helping her with her routine. As they left the drawing room, Shae could hear the concerned murmurs of the remaining women. She knew they had noticed a change in her since her return, but they had chalked it up to her 'stressful ordeal'.

An ominous prickle at the back of her neck made her stop and look around the hallway, frowning. It was empty, save from her lady-in-waiting and a knight of the King's Guard at the far end.

"Your Majesty?" Hedda queried. "Is something the matter?"

"No." She rolled her shoulders, trying to get rid of the prickle, but it persisted. "I thought I heard something, but it was nothing. Let's go."

Unsettled, she continued to the private royal chambers with Hedda by her side. The tall woman helped her undress and into a nightgown, then combed her long auburn hair before leaving. Shae couldn't decide whether she felt more, or less, alone when she was physically so. Probably equal. With a sigh, she slipped the nightgown over her head. She hadn't lied when she told Felix she preferred sleeping naked. Whenever she wore a nightgown to bed, she always woke up feeling trapped, as it would get twisted around her in sleep. Which brought on the panic and the memories of being rolled into her bedsheets and thrown over the shoulder of the enemy.

Shaking her head, she willed the images to go away. She would not think about that night. She took a deep, shaky breath. Then another. Lying down in bed, she concentrated on the feeling of the sheets against her skin, the firmness of the pillow against the back of her head. Another deep breath, calmer now.

Felix dragged a hand through his hair as he walked down the hallway in the private royal quarters. It was much later than he had hoped, the meetings always dragging late these days. Since his return to Messina, he had barely seen Shae or Mio, finding himself locked in meetings with the High Council or seeing diplomats and dignitaries from the different kingdoms come to ask his advice and counsel, always hoping to gain his favour. It was exhausting. He knew he had an important job, but he wished he could have a little time to himself to see his family.

Hopefully, things would improve once the Championship Games drew to a close. A lot hinged on this event going well. With an emissary visiting from the Elven Lands, the pressure was on to make this work for everyone. If he could have the elves attend the Games and interact with others, it would be a significant step in the right direction of repairing the relations between the elves and humans. Something that was sorely needed.

Reaching the drawing room connecting his bedchamber to Shae's, it did not surprise him to find it empty at this hour. Hesitating for a moment, he debated waiting until the morning, but he had news he wanted to share with his wife and he was fairly certain she would want them immediately. And he selfishly wanted to see her. He missed her. Walking over to her door, he knocked.

"Shae?" he queried softly. "Are you awake?"

There was no sound from inside, and he debated again whether he should wait until the morning. She might have gone to bed already. Deciding to try one more time, he raised his hand to knock, but the door wrenched open before his knuckles could connect with the wood. Shae's brown eyes glared at him, but he barely registered as he was busy staring at her light-clad form.

She had definitely been in bed because she wore nothing but a thin robe tied at the waist, and short enough to show off her long, shapely legs. Her auburn hair hung loosely around her shoulders. The sight would have been inviting, if not for the disapproving frown that decorated her brow.

"Felix," she said, her voice laced with irritation. "What do you want? It's the middle of the night."

The use of his name almost made him smile like a fool. He loved when she used it instead of the formal "Your Majesty" she had used for years to keep the distance between them. Not even her irritation with him could dull the warm feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"May I come in?" he asked.

A look of uncertainty passed over her face before she took a few steps back and opened the door wider for him. As he entered her bedchamber, he realised this was the first time he'd been there since Mio was born. They had stopped all intimate relations the moment they confirmed her to be with child, meaning he had no reason to visit her. He suspected she had not missed his presence.

Closing the door, Shae watched him expectantly as he stood in the middle of the room, taking in the changes since the last time he'd been there. There weren't many. Two portraits of Mio on the wall that had not been there before, other than that the room looked the same as he remembered, with no personal belongings other than a stack of books on a table by a comfortable chair.

"Did you want something?" Shae prodded as he said nothing.

"Oh, yes." He turned around, and seeing her in the dressing gown, he remembered her confession that she usually slept naked. If she had been in bed when he knocked, did that mean she wore nothing underneath that thin fabric? His mouth suddenly felt dry. The silky fabric certainly left little to the imagination and definitely didn't look as if she wore anything else. He cleared his throat. "I wanted to speak with you."

"Was there not a better time of the day for this?" She crossed her arms over her chest. It made the robe slip open slightly to reveal part of a perfectly shaped breast, and he promptly forgot what he was there for.

"I... Ah..." The tips of his ears heated. The sight of his wife in that excuse of a robe was incredibly distracting and the likelihood that she was naked underneath outright damning. How was he ever to charm his wife if he couldn't be in the same room as her without turning into a blabbering fool? She stared at him as if he had grown two heads. Or possibly a tail. Or horns. She probably imagined him with horns. Her eyes narrowed. Definitely horns.

She sighed, obviously frustrated by his inability to speak, and he helplessly noted that it made her robe open up even more.

"Shae?" he mumbled, nodding towards the useless piece of cloth.

Realising what he was staring at, she gasped and pulled the fabric closed, tying the sash tighter. Her cheeks glowed red as she raised her head to glare at him again.

"I'm sorry." He smiled wryly. "I shouldn't stare, but in my defence, you are very distracting in that flimsy excuse of a robe."

"Why are you here?" she asked again, obviously growing increasingly frustrated by his inability to answer her very basic question.

"Right. I thought you would like to know that Castel and the rest of the men who went with us to Adreas showed up a while ago."

Her annoyed expression softened into one of relief and she blinked rapidly as if trying to keep tears at bay. "Oh, that is wonderful news. Thank you for telling me."

Running a hand through his hair, he watched her, wondering—not for the first time—what her relationship to the commander of his King's Guard was. "I know you and Cas are close," he muttered. "I figured you would want to know straight away."

"I appreciate that. How are they?"

"Tired," he admitted. "Some are wounded, which is why it took them so long to get back to Messina. Because of the late hour, I did not ask for a full report. Cas is addressing the High Council with a full report tomorrow if you would like to join."

"Oh, I would like that." She looked surprised by the offer and it made him feel like an oaf. Had he been such a terrible husband to her that any kindness was such a shock?

Suddenly, he felt weary. Tired of the distance between them. Tired of spending most of his time away from her, even if it was what she preferred. They had slipped back into their old habits much too easily. It was almost as if their time on the road had never happened.

"I will send someone for you when it's time," he said.

Shae surprised him by placing a hand on his face, her thumb softly caressing his cheek, stubbled after a long day. The intimate touch shocked him, but he didn't move. Barely dared to breathe for fear of chasing her away again. When she didn't retract her hand, he closed his eyes, tilted his head, and placed a gentle kiss in her palm.

"I've missed you," he whispered.

Her hand pulled back as quickly as if she'd been burnt, and he felt the action as keenly as if she'd stabbed him with one of her arrows. With a sigh, he opened his eyes to gaze at her. It was clear she wanted nothing to do with him. He smiled wryly. "Good night, Shae. I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow."

With that, he left. Too weary to fight anymore tonight. He would not force his presence on someone who so obviously did not want him there.

~~~~~~