The pebble flew out of sidewalk and onto the street where a car zoomed past.

"Darn." I mumbled to myself and looked for another to pebble to kick around. I would entertain myself by scrolling through my phone, but ever since a car nearly ran me over when I accidentally crossed the street without looking back in the city, I learned it was safer to look around my surroundings.

I stuffed my hands into my pockets and stopped at the corner. The cars drove past and one was around honking this early in the morning. I cast my disapproval scowl and almost crossed the street when I saw Mr. Stevens walk into his favorite diner.

Seeing Mr. Stevens dressed all in black caught my attention and I couldn't help myself. I jogged to cross the street, almost getting run over by a speeding car. I pushed the door open and a bell rang above my head to announce my arrival. I walked up to the young waiter behind the cash register and smiled.

"Hey, how's it going?" I greeted, blanking on his name.

He looked up from his textbook and grinned. "Hey, Varia! Do you want your usual to go or stay?"

"Oh, no. I'm looking for Mr. Stevens. Is he here? I swear I saw him coming." I said, looking around the empty tables.

"Oh, he's talking to Mick. Should be out in a bit." He replied, nudging towards the manager's office door.

I nodded and tapped the counter. "In that case, I'll have a hot chocolate."

"Right-o!" He chirped and started to prepare it. "So how are ya? I heard what happened a couple of nights ago. Must've been awful."

I played around with a straw and shrugged. "I'm alright. I just fell and hit my head."

The waiter hummed and poured the hot chocolate into a plain white mug. "You've been getting bad luck since the year started." He commented, pushing the mug towards me. "I mean, you separated with your husband, someone tried to murder you, your friend got killed, you got injured, like, how worse can this get?"

I would have been disturbed with him knowing what happened to me, but I lived in a small town. I had gotten used to being the gossip of the town since I was young.

I looked down at my drink, stirring it with a straw. He was right. Things were getting worst. I never thought of all the things that had happened and I never sat down to think why. Why me? Why was this all happening when my life was safe and perfect back in the city?

Ever since I moved here, things have been spiraling out of control. I would often wake up, thinking of all the things that could go wrong and sometimes, I proved myself right. Though I did suppose it could be worst. The only thing I'm grateful for was that nobody tried to kill or hurt my son.

"Well, life acts up whenever it wants to." I finally said, shrugging one shoulder and giving him a half-hearted smile. "What can you do, but lay down and accept it?"

The waiter brought up his own mug to his lips and hummed. "Yeah, you're right. Let's hope this new year will bring some good to you. Even though if its months away."

I chuckled and took a small sip. "I hope for my sake."

"So, listen," The waiter started and placed his palms on the edge of the counter, "Mick and I have been thinking of throwing a private 'school's out' here at the diner at the end of June, and well, given everything that has happened, we'll love for you to come with Drakon. Who knows, it could do some good for you."

I looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

The waiter nodded. "Yeah, of course, if you haven't made any plans already."

"We'd love to come." I said and the waiter raised his arms above his head with triumph.

I chuckled and the manager's door opened. Mr. Stevens stood there and Mick patted his back, muttering something before he went back to his office. I excused myself with the waiter and made my way towards Mr. Stevens.

"Mr. Stevens!" I called out and he looked up.

I frowned, noticing his red-rimmed eyes.

"What's wrong, Mr. Stevens?" I asked, a bad feeling sinking in the pit of my stomach.

He cleared his throat and blinked rapidly. He pulled out an envelope from his pocket and held it out towards me. "Belle left this for you."

The pink envelope looked crumpled and faded at the corners. I slowly took it from him and the only thing written on it was my name. I felt something clog my throat, but I swallowed it down.

"W-What do you mean Belle left this for me?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He locked eyes with me and forced a smile. I gasped and my hand gripped the envelope. "Last time I-I saw her, she was fine."

"Belle is good at keeping to herself, love." He sniffled and took out another envelope. "This is for Tristian."

My stomach dropped and I felt myself go pale. Mr. Stevens smiled and grabbed my shoulder. "There are a lot of emotions Belle kept from me, but she never kept a secret from me—not in all forty years of our marriage."

I looked down at the other envelope and finally took it from Mr. Stevens' hand. Tristian was neatly written in the center and seemed heavier than mine.

"I'm sorry—" I began to say, but Mr. Stevens shook his head. His eyes glistened with tears and the bags under his eyes seemed darker.

"I think I've heard enough of that today. Just... I'll let you know when the funeral is taking place." He mumbled and left without waiting for my reply.

I watched him leave and walk down the street with his hands in his pockets and his head hung low.

-------

The bittersweet taste of beer flowed down my throat and I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I cocked my head, my eyes glued to the two envelopes that sat on the coffee table.

I sniffled and gulped down the rest of the beer. I leaned forward and grabbed the envelope with my name written on. I sucked in a sharp breath and carefully opened it. The two-paged letter was neatly folded in three.

I sat back, my legs crisscrossed and a pillow on my lap. I placed my thumbs under the first flap and lifted it back slowly to unveil the Belle's beautiful handwriting. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and sighed deeply.

My dear Varia, she wrote and my sight blurred for a second. I wiped my eyes and forced myself to read on.

I have seen you grown from a small trouble maker to a beautiful, hardworking woman you are today. I know it sounds cheesy, but bear with me. It isn't easy to write a goodbye letter.

Anyway, I mean what I say. You have grown over the years. It is unfortunate you had to deal with your mother's misfortunate, but it is what helped you grow and learn. It isn't easy, you see. Life can be a, well, life can a bitch. I know, I know. You hate cussing, but you and I know it's true.

Life can throw the most unexpected things at us whenever. You get knocked down and shred to pieces but remember, my darling. Never, ever forget to pick up the pieces and start over. You must not let people destroy you in any form or shape. You control your life. You say what goes on. Not your husband, not your friends, not your mother's words, not anybody.

You do what you think is right, and believe me when I say, right and wrong isn't always black and white. There will be times when you don't know what is right or wrong. Should you head down the dark, spooky path or the sunny, flowerily path? You choose.

I know you have many questions about what has happened recently, but the time will come and everything will sort itself out. Everything will make sense. Just give it time, my dear. Time, patience, and trust will be the key.

And whatever you do, don't forget about me. I know I haven't been in touch with you, but after you moved back and came to visit me, I felt like we have a connection. I know our visits weren't often and long, but you respected me and my husband. Even when horrible rumors spread around town, you didn't turn or look down at us. And that says a lot about your character, Varia.

I'm so glad and grateful you included me in your grand, kind heart. You are like the daughter I ever had the honor to have. Be safe, my child.

Love, Belle.

A sound between a chuckle and a sob escaped my throat. I crumpled the letter in my fist and let the tears run.

I couldn't believe Belle wasn't here anymore. During my last visit, she seemed fine. She wasn't happy since she had an argument with one of the nurses and she hated that whenever I visited, they hovered around us. No more how many shoos or get the fuck out of here Belle exclaimed, they wouldn't leave. Other than that, she was... happy. I don't know how she died, but I could guess from these goodbye letters and Mr. Stevens chosen words, she took her own life.

"There are a lot of emotions Belle kept from me..."

I shakily sucked a breath in and bit my lip.

It isn't easy to write a goodbye letter.

Yes, she took her own life. Did she not think there was something worth living for? Why didn't she talk to me about it? I could've helped. Maybe I wasn't able to completely understand or relate to, but I could've done something to prevent it.

I dropped the letter on the coffee table and stood up. My hands dug into my hair and my elbows closed around my face. The sobs raked through my body and I finally breathed out.

I shook my hands and sniffled. "Okay, okay..." I whispered to myself, wiping my face with the hem of my shirt.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a cup. I poured myself a cup of water and chugged it down. I rested my elbows on the sink and closed my eyes.

I felt like this was a dream. The least person you expect to leave you in this merciless world goes without warning, without a face-to-face goodbye.

My chin quivered and a fresh wave of tears washed over me. I poured myself more water and tried to drown the lump in my throat. I sniffled and waddled out of the kitchen. I grabbed my sweater and tugged on my rain boots. I grabbed the unopened envelope and made my way towards the back door.

My fingers wrapped around the door handle of the back door, my arm locked in the position of yanking the door opened, but I stopped. Tristian's name on the envelope caught my eyes and I couldn't help but stare it longer than I had to.

This letter was obviously meant for him. Belle personalized it for him to read and for him to understand what she was talking about. She wrote it for him and him only.

I nibbled on my lower lip and unwrapped my fingers from the tight grip on the door handle.

This is for him. Don't do it. My mind scolded at me and I looked at the door then at the envelope.

Yes, I understood this was for him, but this was my chance! I can finally understand what Belle was talking about, learn who Tristian was. I mean, what if he never trusted me? What if I went through my whole life not knowing who the guy I'm falling for was?

I stopped in my tracks and scrunched my eyebrows at myself.

Falling for? Was I falling for him?

I reached up and rubbed my throat as the heat rose to my cheeks.

I'm not going to lie and say that he hadn't caught my attention. He was... something. Just thinking about him drove my head crazy with questions and what he was hiding or else why would he wear a mask and hide deep in the woods? Nobody does that else they had something to hide, right?

And the one kiss we shared was something I would never forget and I found myself wanting to feel those lips on me every time I saw him. My mind wandered over to other stuff I would like to do with him, but I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts.

I eyed the envelope, my fingers itching to just rip it open and read it. I breathed in deeply and let it out slowly through my nose. I kicked off my shoes and hung my coat on the coat hanger by the front door. I grabbed my letter and went upstairs to my bedroom. I opened a random drawer from my dresser and tucked both envelopes in between the clothes and slowly closed it.

I will give it to him the next time I see him, I thought to myself. It wasn't like I knew where to find him at this time of day and I couldn't exactly remember where his home was. The day he took me to his home, he took many turns and twists, it was hard to keep track. Every tree, every bush looked the same to me and I wasn't able to focus on anything after what had happened that day.

I dropped myself on my bed and grabbed a pillow. I turned over to my side and hugged the pillow close to my chest. From the corner of my eye, I saw my phone blinking. I frowned and grabbed it.

I had a missed call from Javon. I rolled my eyes and was about to put it back on the nightstand when it rang. I slightly jumped and almost dropped my phone, but caught between my hand and bed.

"Hello?" I answered, sitting up.

"I heard what happened to Belle. How are you holding up?" Javon asked, his voice sounding sincere.

I frowned and double checked to see if this really was Javon. "I'm... fine." I said, putting the phone back on my ear when it was his number.

Javon was silent for a while, but I could hear the chattering and his breathing. He finally cleared his throat and there was some ruffling noise before everything went quiet.

I pulled my phone away and saw that he hung up. "Weird..." I muttered to myself and got up, feeling a bit creeped out. I tapped into my log calls and cleared it. It was then that I noticed it was almost time to pick up Drakon from school.

I quickly went downstairs and grabbed everything I needed. I pulled the front door opened and screamed when Javon stood there, hand ready to knock. He jumped and put his hand on his chest.

"What the fuck was that?" He spat, eyes roaming behind me.

I huffed and closed the door behind me. "What are you doing here?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm here to see if you need company. I know you don't handle...." Javon trailed off and cleared his throat, "I know you don't death very well."

I softened my posture and my eyes roamed over his face. His expression was soft yet his eyes remained void of emotion. I knew my gut was screaming at me to just go and tell him to get lost, but my head was telling me he was right.

When my mama died, I couldn't do anything unless Javon repeatedly told me to eat or get up every five minutes. When my step-papa died, I didn't leave my house for almost a week. I barely ate and I could have starved myself if it weren't for Mr. Stevens coming to check on me and my mama a few times during the day.

I sighed and with great reluctance, I nodded. "Fine, but I don't want you to stay in the house."

Javon clenched his jaw and agreed. I went down the steps and Javon jogged to catch up with me.

"Where are you going?" He asked, walking by my side.

"I have to pick up Drakon from school. He likes to be the first to get picked up in his class. He has a two-week long streak. He would be mad if I broke it today." I said.

Javon looked at his watch and frowned. "Drakon doesn't come out for another half an hour."

"Like I said, he has a two-week long streak. Other kids are going to ask their parents to step it, therefore, I need to step it. I hate to let down my son."