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I was losing my mind over Joshua Everett Nilsen. I wanted to kiss him senselessly every time I saw the way he looked at me but every time the thought crossed my mind, I remembered that there are rules that we have to follow under our employment contract. We could get fired if Lydia finds out.

But who would tell her if nobody knows?

I scolded myself and spun around before he replied to my previous comment and continued walking, hoping he wouldn't say anything to me. We were reaching the end of the dome aquarium room and the long and narrow room just closed off at the end with a wall. I was running to a dead end but I couldn't look at Josh without wanting him anymore and I wasn't allowed to want him. He wasn't mine to want. I stopped at the end and let out a sigh, watching the tank and all the creatures swimming inside. I felt Josh stop beside me once he caught up, both of us standing in silence.

"So are you, Poppy," he said after a long minute.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.

"Did you really think I haven't thought about it like you have?" he chuckled dryly. "I have. I do think about it every time I look at you. But then I remember that we have jobs that mean too much to lose. Don't they?"

"Yeah, but... What if we find something that's worth more than those jobs, you know? You never think about that?" I turned to look at him and found him already staring back at me. "And I'm not just talking about you and me, I'm talking about you with anybody else at our office or me with anybody else. Josh, it comes down to one question, if you really think about it. Do you really see yourself working for Lydia for the rest of your life? Does this job really mean that much to you? Or is it traveling that you love?"

"Poppy, I get to travel because of this job. I can't give it up so easily."

"I know. But how can you say you won't find something that's worth more than this job?"

"If you're talking about falling in love with someone then it's different. I don't have a lot of faith in the whole concept of love. You might be out of luck with me," he scoffed softly at himself.

"Okay, maybe you don't believe in love, maybe you don't want to fall in love with someone. But that doesn't mean you can't want someone or want to be with someone. At the end of the day, Josh, it's about what you want and how badly you want it. It's about what you want more. And if you really want something, then you shouldn't regret choosing it."

"But that's the thing, isn't it? We always regret something."

I nodded, "Yeah. But some things are worth a little regret. You have to decide what is and what isn't worth it. I might be worth the risk but am I worth the regret if you have to face any?" I faced away from him, folding my arms across my chest, watching the jellyfish float past us. "I think you are," I admitted.

"I am?" he asked.

"Yeah. Because traveling means the world to me, not this job, not this magazine. I can always work somewhere else, there are better companies, Josh. Travel Addict Weekly is what it is today because of you and me. Our columns, our articles run that fucking company. And I'd like to see Lydia try to manage without us around. There are opportunities at every corner for you and me, Joshua," I sighed, dragging out his name before facing him again, smiling. "We just have to open up to them. I'd work anywhere else in a heartbeat as long as it makes me happy. Worst case scenario in my mind, I get fired. So? Big deal, I'll get another job."

"And what about me? What happens to me in your worst-case scenario?" He lifted a brow at me.

I laughed softly, "In my worst-case scenario, we'd mean a bit more to each other than we want to. I doubt Lydia would ever fire you, but suppose she does, you're more than welcome to come with me. We'll find a better company, one that actually allows office romances. Who doesn't love an office romance after all?" I snickered.

We slowly started walking back out. "Poppy, you hardly know me. Why the hell would you want to love me?"

"I don't want to love you," I laughed, linking my arm with his naturally. "Right now, I just want to know you a bit better and spend a little more time with you. A little because I can only take so much of you," I scoffed.

He rolled his eyes, walking with me but slowing down to a stop. He unlatched his arm from me and turned to look at me. I raised both brows, coming up on my toes, keeping my hands behind my back. "You really shouldn't be with me, Poppy," he said softly.

"Maybe," I nodded, "but I kind of want to. It's okay if you don't."

"That's not it," he shook his head.

"Then?"

He paused, hesitating. "I'm scared I can't give you what you want. Or what you might want down the line."

"Don't worry. One day at a time, one feeling at a time, one moment at a time. I'm sure we can handle it. And you know what? This is enough talk about this for one day," I chuckled. "Let's go to the zoo now. Don't you want to see a tiger or something? Oh, or an orangutan? I feel like you like orangutans." My eyes narrowed as I started walking ahead of him.

I heard him sigh before he grabbed my hand and tugged me back, caging me between him and the cold glass pressing into my back. He rested a hand on the wall beside my head and held my gaze. He seemed so confused and unsure, I didn't want him to kiss me without knowing that he really wanted it.

I shook my head slowly, smiling. "Don't kiss me."

"Why not?"

"You don't know if you want to or if you feel like you have—"

"I don't have to, I know that. But I think I should."

"You shouldn't if you don't want to. Don't do it, Josh. Please don't. You said if you kissed me, you'd mean it. If you do it now, you won't mean it."

He waited before sliding his hand down and taking a small step back. "All right. I'll kiss you when I really want it. That way, I'll mean it." He grabbed my hand, taking me by surprise, and started leading us out.

"Careful Josh or I'll think you're flirting with me," I teased.

"I think we're past the flirting, Poppy," he chuckled.

"Well, I think we're just getting started with it," I argued.

"Is that so?"

"Most certainly," I nodded firmly.

"We shall see. Walk a bit faster," he scolded, tugging me with him and I whined but caught up as we exited the aquarium.

We spent the rest of the day at the institute going from the aquarium to the zoo, and from the zoo to the planetarium. Once we were done, we walked back to the hotel and headed up to our room. Josh unlocked the door, holding it open for me. Making it inside, we killed plenty of time.

We worked a little bit, jotting everything down from today like we had been doing every single day so far. I was still typing away when Josh put his laptop away and stood up, fixing his sleeves. "I'm making coffee. Do you want some?" he asked, opening a fresh water bottle and pouring it out into the kettle, turning it on.

"Can you make me tea, actually?" I mumbled under my breath, holding down the delete button before restarting the same sentence for the third time. I groaned softly, leaning my head back.

He glanced at me as the water began boiling. "Having trouble?" He sat back down beside me.

"A little. Give me a synonym for surreal."

He paused and contemplated. "Phantasmagorical," he answered.

I gave him a blank look before kicking his leg.

He laughed, "Surreal is a good enough word, Poppy. What are you trying to write?" He took my laptop, skimming over what I'd written so far. He thought for a minute before typing away. I read the words as they popped up on the screen one letter at a time. It read:

The place was surreal, perfect for a couple looking to enjoy each other's company under the blue hues of the waters, experiencing their own little ocean all around them. The Audubon Nature Institute is a spot you must visit for your ideal New Orleans honeymoon.

He turned to me as he finished typing, lifting both brows. "Good enough?"

My eyes traveled across his face, both of us sitting against the headboard, our faces barely inches apart. "That's not allowed," I reminded him.

"What isn't?"

"You're not allowed to write anything for me," I smiled.

He lifted a brow. "I was under the impression that we were planning on doing lots of things that aren't allowed. No?" He leaned in only to tease me as he pulled away. He shut my laptop, placing it in my lap before he stood up. "It's almost seven. Your little boat ride is in forty-five minutes. We should get ready."

I hummed, watching him as he grabbed his clothes from his suitcase.

He bent over, retrieving his shirt and... I swear, there is something about his cute bubble butt that I can't get over. I looked away quickly as he turned to me. "Mind if I change first?"

"Not at all," I shook my head.

He stopped by the bathroom window and pulled the blinds down before disappearing inside.

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