jim had been denying his phobia of storms since his sixteenth birthday. however, it was bound to be brought to light at some point.

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Fear was a strange thing.

Many people had different interpretations of the word and it's meaning, usually based upon their own experiences. Fear for Jim meant losing his friends; fear meant Gunmar, Bular, and everything else that lurked in the shadows, just waiting to dig their claws into his skin and pull him under. Fear meant imminent danger with a very high chance of death and a low chance of survival. However, Jim had come to realize fear wasn't just danger. It was a residual feeling of anxiety and panic that would spike when re-faced with something that had previously made his stomach twist and his blood freeze in nauseating fright.

Fear wasn't always something new; sometimes it was a recurring memory.

An ominous boom of thunder echoed tauntingly from outside the room and Jim clutched at his chest, his heart beating sporadically.

Fear was the memory of electricity coursing through his body, heat boiling his blood and singing the tips of his hair as he fell from the sky, lightning sparking across his vision in a brilliant array of dangerous light. That moment, the fight that happened so long ago on his sixteenth birthday, haunted him like the sound of thunder to lightning. That night had terrified him. Scarred him in a way he'd never felt before. He'd been completely alone thousands of feet in the air, soaked to the bone and being carried ever higher by a winged beast that desperately wanted him dead.

He'd really thought he was going to die that night, had nearly accepted it. There was no sound but the thunder, his own harsh and shallow breathing, and the deep whoosh of air from the powerful beat of the stalkling's wings. Jim had never thought much of heights before, having never been more than a couple flights above the ground, but seeing the world sickeningly spin dangerously far beneath him- it made him reconsider his previous lenience with height.

Getting himself struck by lightning was an extremely impulsive and painful idea, but at the time he really couldn't think of anything better. He wasn't a straight C (and the occasional B) student for no reason. While he didn't necessarily regret the action- Blinky was proud of him for it, after all- the pain of it came back like a ghost with a vengeance whenever he heard the familiar rumble of thunder in the distance. It was a stupid thing to fear. He'd faced Gunmar in the Darklands and lived to tell the tale, yet when he went to sleep at night it was something as simple as lightning that had him screaming himself awake like a man deranged. Some Trollhunter he was.

Another roll of thunder startled Jim out of his thoughts and he glanced at the water-streaked window, past the rain pelting the glass, and at the dark sky outside. Black clouds crowded the gray beyond, only illuminated by the lightning that would strike through them and shock the ground in brilliant sparks. It wasn't quiet in the room by a long shot, not with the rain drumming on the roof and the thunder every so often, but Jim's panted breathing and frantically beating heart made everything else sound like a mere whisper in comparison. He closed his eyes with a deep breath, slowly forcing himself to loosen his white-knuckled grip on his now rumpled shirt.

Fingers softly brushed over the exposed skin of his arm and Jim jumped with a strangled gasp, his blue eyes darting from the window to focus on Claire's worried brown ones. He tried to calm his shaking with an embarrassed huff, and Claire continued to watch him carefully, her face scrunched with an undefinable emotion. She looked concerned and tired. Admittedly, he'd almost forgotten she was even there, despite it being her house that he was currently in. "Sorry," He croaked quietly, apologetically. "I didn't- did I- Uh... when did you wake up?" Jim smiled awkwardly and Claire furrowed her brow further. Her hair was messed up from sleep, the dark brown strands sticking up around her face, and there were lines from the pillow making faint red tracks on her cheeks. She glanced out at the window where he'd been staring, then looked back at him, as if trying to piece together his panicked reaction to her presence. "I... just did." She responded flatly. He winced.

Light filled the room for a split second as lightning flashed outside, and Jim's hand twitched anxiously in its place resting on his chest. Though he felt like he was jumping out of his skin, he didn't want to react too badly and concern Claire- not that it would change much; she already seemed to be suspicious. Claire noticed the slight movement of his hand despite Jim holding himself back, and she frowned. "What's wrong?" She asked softly, and Jim covered his surprised, "Uh-" with an impromptu cough. Nice one.

"There's- nothing wrong, ah- w-why would you think there's something wrong?" His voice wavered and he bit his tongue to keep himself from continuing his rushed, and frankly horrible, excuse. He hated lying to Claire. His girlfriend sat up from her slanted position laying beside him and she reached down to run a hand through his hair comfortingly, brushing his bangs from his tired and bloodshot eyes. "Jim," She started slowly, and he sucked in a nervous breath of air through his teeth. "Please don't try to hide things from me. I won't judge you, I promise, but I can't help if you don't tell me anything." Jim sighed and looked back over to the blurry window, afraid to meet Claire's soulful eyes and see the hurt he knew was within them. He didn't want to hide things from her, of course not, but... sometimes it was hard.

Claire placed her hand on his cheek to interrupt his inner spiral and tilted his head back towards her until their eyes met, her palm warm. "Please?" She begged, and Jim's lips twitched up into a sad smile. He could never deny her anything. He pushed his hands on the bed and sat up next to her, leaning his back against the headboard. He continued to sit there for a second, afraid to answer, but Claire waited beside him, ever patient. She was willing to give him all the time in the world. "I guess... I'm afraid of lightning?" He admitted, then cringed immediately after. He'd never told anyone about his embarrassing fear and it sounded even worse out loud. There was no reason to be afraid of it, yet there he was, cowering like... well, a coward.

Gunmar's Bane, yeah right.

Jim waited a second, letting his words hang in the air and sink in. Claire scooted closer and grabbed his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers in a warm grasp. She didn't say anything, so Jim took the silence as permission to continue. "It's stupid I know," He defended on default. "-especially with all the things we've faced, but last year on my sixteenth birthday... I got dragged into the sky by a stalkling and I was struck by lightning." He felt her stiffen beside him with a sharp intake of breath, her hand tightening in his, but she still didn't say anything. She wanted him to finish before she voiced her own thoughts. "It was my own fault, but now, whenever I hear thunder or see lightning I'm just... brought back to that night." He ended, his face burning. His undeniable phobia was something he had tried to ignore for the longest time, but whenever a storm came around he just... couldn't. It was too much.

Jim watched Claire carefully, trying to gauge her reaction to his story. This was the first person he had let in on his secret, and her opinion on the matter was more important to him than he'd like to admit. However, she remained quiet, a small frown on her face as she gazed back at him. Another beat of silence passed between them and Jim grew worried. Did she think he was being ridiculous? She deserved to know, but maybe it would have been better if he hadn't told her at all. "Claire...?" He prompted, and she blinked rapidly. "It's not stupid," She finally replied, and Jim felt a stab of disappointment at her less than convincing response.

He didn't want to think she was judging him, but it was hard when she wasn't giving him any incentive otherwise. "Oh." He sighed, biting his lip again. Claire huffed awkwardly, and shifted closer. "No, that's not what I- Jim, I'm sorry I'm just surprised is all." She explained guiltily. Making him feel like she thought less of him because of his fear was the last thing she wanted to do. Claire grabbed both his hands and brought them up to her face, his knuckles brushing her lips as her eyes bore into his intensely. "You- you were 'struck by lightning'?" She restated softly and Jim nodded nervously. "Yeah, that's- that's what I said..." He mumbled with a half-hearted chuckle. He didn't want to talk about it any more than he needed to. It was still a little hard for him to believe it had happened in the first place.

Claire shook her head sadly and released his hands to lean forward and hug him tightly, her face pressed into his chest. He jumped in surprise, the distant thunder still putting him on edge, before he slowly wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her shoulder. Her body was warm against his and he relished in her comforting presence and scent over the cold and unrelenting storm outside. "I had no idea, Jim." She whispered, her voice muffled against him. "I'm so sorry." Claire clutched her hands in his shirt tightly, the fabric bunching underneath her fingers. Jim laughed quietly and choked on a sob, his repressed fear and anxiety rising to the surface at Claire's reassurance. He hugged her tighter, her dark brown hair tickling his cheeks and mixing with the silent tears running down his face. "You don't need to be sorry, it was a while ago, now..." He mumbled to the top of her head. He didn't admit his secret to her just so she would end up feeling sorry for him or blaming herself. He hated seeing her beautiful face twisted in sadness.

Claire pulled back slightly, and his arms dropped to the dip in her waist. Her eyes searched his face for a moment before she raised her hands to rub her fingers over his cheek lovingly, wiping away the tears on his skin. "What happened to the stalkling?" She asked. "The lightning turned it to stone and it smashed on the ground." He answered, then looked away. "I'm... I'm sorry I never told you." Truth be told he had blocked the memory from his mind the day it had happened and he had no intentions of telling anyone- let alone Claire, but she was his girlfriend and he felt she deserved to know.

Toby had tried to talk to him about it once, as had Blinky, but he had turned them down, perhaps a little too sharply. The topic had been an open wound back then, and was still a wound now, though just a sore. He knew it wasn't healthy to bottle up his emotions, especially about something like a phobia, but he just wanted to pretend it didn't exist.

Claire shook her head. "You don't need to apologize, Jim. I'm just glad you told me." She responded honestly. Jim hummed. He was truly grateful that she was supporting him, rather than thinking it was silly. It wasn't very characteristic of her to make fun of people's fears, but Jim had been worried nonetheless. He hadn't realized how concerned about it he'd been until he'd nearly deflated with relief. "I'm glad I told you too." He admitted softly and she smiled. Claire leaned back against the wall with him, resting her head on his shoulder. Neither of them said anything else and instead opted to sit together in a comfortable silence. Jim pulled her closer and sighed in content, revering the warmth.

However, Jim struggled to prevent himself from seizing up at every sudden flash of lightning that lit up the lavender room. It was hard to control his muscles when every abrupt strike caught him off guard.

He was almost convinced Claire was asleep on his chest until she surprised him by shifting down to get a better look at his face, peering up at him in concern. "Do you think you can fall back asleep?" She asked him quietly, now playing absentmindedly with the frayed end of his shirt. Jim laughed sarcastically. Sleep was the farthest thing from his mind. Ever since that night with the stalkling he had accepted the fact that a storm meant a sleepless night on his part; usually spent curled up and shaking in his bed. "Not really..." He replied. "There's no way I can ignore the storm enough to do so." He had already spent the last couple minutes trying to calm himself down with no success.

Claire rubbed his side comfortingly and shrugged. "Then I'll stay up with you," She said earnestly, and he was left speechless. Her unwavering support and love was something he never expected, and could barely comprehend. He loved her just the same, but he didn't think it was possible for her to return that. Claire should get some sleep too, but Jim knew from experience that she was just as stubborn as he was. No amount of convincing on his part was going to get her to just go back to sleep, especially when he was still in distress (not that he would admit that, of course). He rolled his eyes in amusement, but was touched by how much she cared about him. She proved how important he was to her many times in many different ways, but it always took him by surprise. Even now with something so small.

The storm outside gave another intimidating clap of thunder, and Jim immediately shot the window an uneasy glance. The rain was pouring harder now than it was earlier, the sound terrifyingly reminding him of what the rain sounded like hitting the stalkling's stone scales. It sent his skin crawling and he nearly gagged as his stomach churned. Claire either sensed his discomfort or saw it, because she reached up and placed a hand on his chest, splaying her fingers over his heart. Jim grabbed her hand in his and he could feel his heart beating beneath their palms.

"Stop," She whispered sternly. Jim raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Stop... what?" He asked, and she rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean- stop worrying." Claire scooted closer to him. "You don't have to be scared, I'm right here. Just pay attention to me and forget everything else." She reasoned and Jim considered it. It sure was a tempting offer. "I can try," He replied cautiously, and she nodded happily, her brown eyes sparkling. "Give me your hand," Claire prompted and he did immediately. She stroked her fingers over his knuckles smoothly and then repeated the action, marking a soothing pattern on his skin. "Just... focus on me." She repeated and Jim tried, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He did his best to block out the storm and the sound of the rain, instead paying attention to the warmth of Claire's hand in his and the heat of her body radiating against his side.

Jim relaxed against her, his head falling onto her shoulder, and she squeezed his hand tighter. Slowly the sounds outside slipped his mind, his thoughts growing muddled as he began to fall asleep. It was warm and comforting, wrapped in the arms of the girl he loved more than anything, and he whispered a small, "Thank you," to his Juliet next to him. Claire used her other hand to begin running her fingers through his hair again, messing with the dark strands. "Anytime, Jim." She murmured back, and he finally fell back asleep, the storm still raging outside left forgotten. Claire continued to reassuringly rub Jim's hand and play with his hair long after he fell asleep. His breaths were soft and even against her collarbone, and she let him subconsciously soak in the feeling of complete safety he was so rarely granted. It was a while before she too fell asleep, her hand dropping to his side and her cheek pressed into his hair.

When the next boom of thunder echoed through the room, the windows shaking from the deep vibrations, Jim didn't so much as flinch.