{ 23 }

Dara was frozen on her spot, once again. She stared at his gentle brown orbs for a while before his words rang through her ears over and over again.

“Noona, mianhae.”

It was all blurry for her. She knew she was sitting on a wooden bench, with Jiyong kneeling in front of her while holding her hand, and then all of a sudden there was this invisible piercing pain which tore right through her– all raw and sharp and cutting.

“Noona, mianhae.”

She remained silent, and he did too. Neither of them were able to say a word after what Jiyong stated. The two of them stayed there, unmoving. Dara felt an impossibly big lump forming on her throat, and no matter what she does to prevent it, tears will still spill.

“Noona, mianhae.”

She did her best to smile at Jiyong, hoping that it didn’t end up like a grimace. The latter squeezed her hand, as if wanting to comfort her, but what he did only added fuel to the fire. A solitary tear ran down to her cheeks.

“Noona, mianhae.”

She smiled at him. “Jiyong-ah, it’s okay. It’s been hard on you, too.”

“Noona–”

She gently retracted her hand from his hold and tapped his shoulder. “I wish you wouldn’t call me noona anymore.” After that, she got up and mumbled her goodbyes to Jiyong, leaving before the enormous amount of tears her eyes amassed render him more speechless.

--

It was all a blur. Dara couldn’t even remember that she called Donghae to pick her up in front of their old university. It wasn’t until Donghae arrived that she realized she was a crying mess, sitting on the curb while some bystanders look at her in pity. She hadn’t even realized that she walked to the university all the way from the park, which was a thirty-minute drive.

“Dee?” Donghae softly called out, and Dara tilted her head to meet Donghae’s worried eyes. “Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?”

Donghae helped her up, but she felt her knees buckling. He made her lean into him for support as he helped her get in the car. After he made sure she was all strapped in, he rushed over to the driver’s seat and talked to Dara. “Dee, c’mon, talk to me. Don’t you need to go to the hospital or something?”

Dara only shook her head, but she continued crying. Donghae sighed. “You’re sure you aren’t hurt anywhere, okay?”

She nodded. Donghae tried to comfort her by rubbing her back. “It will be okay, Dara.” He delicately whispered before driving off to the nearest coffee house to calm her down.

--

Jiyong was aghast. He didn’t know what went on in his mind to say those words to her. He knew that he had hurt her. Even though she wanted to mask her pain by smiling at him, her eyes betrayed her. In there he could see the tremendous amount of pain he had given her, and he doesn’t know how to make up to that.

She suddenly tapped his shoulder and after a minute, she was gone. She wasn’t anywhere near Jiyong. He gingerly took the seat on the wooden bench and unknowingly traced the carving he made for her.

It all overwhelmed him. Maybe it was far more than that. It scared him. Kwon Jiyong, the CEO and President of Kwon Group of Companies who never succumbed to defeat, admitted that he was scared. Dara left him alone, and he was clouded by memories. Everything was coming back to him. He gripped the bench tightly until his knuckles jutted out and it turned white. A swirl of scattered conversations, late-night chats, sneaking out, kissing, hugging, laughing, holding hands, staring, fighting... He remembered it. Every single moment he had with her.

He was breathing heavily by the time he opened his eyes again. His heart slammed wildly against his chest, his every intake of breath getting in sync with his heart’s intense fervor.

“Babe...” He uttered to himself quietly, as if remembering a foreign word he hasn’t spoken in years.

“Babe...” He tried again. The word hasn’t been spoken by him for a long time, but it still felt overly familiar. It was tied to the fast, unrhythmic beating of his heart. It was tied to a certain petite girl with a beautiful smile and an ethereal beauty. It was tied to a girl with auburn locks and creamy complexion. It was tied to the only person who made his heart beat like he was a marathoner. It was tied to the person whom he wanted to be Mrs. Kwon Jiyong. It was tied to Kwon Dara... Always.

He sprung up and sprinted towards his car until his lungs scream for air. He smoothly maneuvered his way out of the park in hopes of finding Dara. He hadn’t seen her on his way, so he assumed that she had taken a cab home. He drove towards her house, surprised to see that the lights are off.

Fear was starting to cripple him.

It scared him. A lot more than anyone would think. Because Kwon Jiyong was never scared. He was fair-headed and calm and indifferent, no matter what the situation was.

It scared him that he feels scared because he couldn’t find Dara.

It scared him because he had never been scared for anyone else in his life.

It scared him because she might be gone from his life.

It scared him that he was scared.

But what surprised him the most was...

...he was ready to bite the bullet for her.

But maybe that wasn’t surprising at all.

--

Donghae brought Dara to a coffee shop and ordered a hot chocolate for her. As much as he wanted to ask, he didn’t, because he didn’t want to upset her more. Dara silently drank her chocolate, easing at the silence while the coffee shop’s stereo played a song.

Don’t be so comfortable like that

Because we’re still strangers

Don’t rush me like a child

Because it hasn’t started yet

The two of them were bathed in silence. He stared at her while downing his own drink, but it seems like Dara’s mind was wandering and he couldn’t pull her back, no matter how much he stare. He has never seen her like this, in a miserable state.

I don’t like the youth’s love like playing with fire

I’m just shaking a bit, but I’m okay

No, the truth is...

At school, or whenever they eat or hang out, she had always been the bubbly one. The big ball of happiness. If Sohee was the judgemental woman who talks behind someone’s back, and Wooyoung was the crazy monkey who makes them laugh and Donghae was the calm and funky dude, then Dara was the ball of sunshine. She was always optimistic and cheery.

I still hate you, you who left me

My cold heart is still...

Missing you

Missing you

Missing you

Missing you

Missing you

There had been times when she was moody and grumpy, but everyone has those times. They all put up with each other because they were friends, and they’ve got each other’s backs. Only, seeing her like this now, Donghae thought that there’s really a lot more to Dara than what meets the eye.

Don’t be so bright like that

Because the world is dark

How can I smile brightly (What?)

If you’ll look closely, I am sad

I know, I’ve been there before

She has ceased sobbing, but tears were still everywhere. He pushed a box of Kleenex towards her side, but she merely glanced at him and mumbled her thanks. She was close to finishing her drink, and Donghae was desperate to say something, anything. “Do you want me to get you another one?”

I don’t like the calculative love of adults

I’m just tired but I’m okay

No, the truth is...

She smiled at him, but it didn’t turn out much as like that. Nevertheless, he accepted it and smiled back. “Thank you, Hae.” He didn’t say anything else and just headed to the counter, because somehow, he feels like she had already tried so hard to put her smile together.

I still hate you, you who left me

My cold heart is still...

Missing you

Missing you

Missing you

Missing you

Missing you

And that was enough for Donghae.

To see that she tried for him. Even that ridiculously minuscule thing mattered to him, because he knows that nothing was ever easy for her right now, let alone smile. He has a nagging feeling that he already knows what she’s going through, but he remained mum about it. He doesn’t want to be a heartless person who’ll badger her just to satisfy his curiosity.

The love of my young days is ending like this

You have to be happy

Even if a long time passes by, we’ll still remember each other

Those times when there was still “us”

He put the mug down on their table and saw another tear escape her eyes. He couldn’t do anything other than sigh and take her cold hands in his. He knows that whatever he does, it wouldn’t take the pain away, but still... he could try.

Those times when there was still “us...”

“Hae... Please take me home.” She muttered, her red and puffy eyes starting to droop.

“Of course, Dee.”

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*sighs* Still no comments, I see...

-X