to Lucifer had become the new normal for Benjamin, who, by now, was used to rolling over his chest in the mornings while they talked about everything and anything — sometimes the most trivial matters, like what was the best kind of breakfast, only for Lucifer to get it all for Benji to try out. Sometimes, though, their conversations got quite meaningful, like when he had sat on Lucifer's lower back and traced the scars on his shoulder blades, left there from when Mazikeen had severed his wings, which was a story he didn't share very often. But, it seemed that Benjamin had gotten under his skin, and the same went the other way around, as they felt safe to let their guard down with one another and reveal even the sides they sometimes tried to hide from the rest of the world.

Today, though, Benjamin needed someone else to rely on. He had talked with Dan, as well, since his brother was deeply worried, and he didn't really blame him — so he allowed Dan to fuss and make sure that Benji was okay to a point where he felt like a spoiled child. But as much as he appreciated the love, he had made an appointment with Dr. Martin — someone he hadn't seen in a while, but surely missed. She was the ray of sunshine in all of their lives, the one to pull them back from the edge of darkness, and Benjamin knew that he wasn't okay with his father's death despite his attempts to claim so. That was why he was willingly seeking help.

So, once his shift at Lux was over and he had stopped by the Decker residence to thank Mazikeen for covering for him, and to see his lovely niece, he drove over to Linda's office with a heart full of emotion, ready to burst. He had spent such a long time burying his feelings and playing the role of a cool, emotionally unreachable guy who thrived on parties and sex, but perhaps it was time to accept that Los Angeles was changing him — for the better, even.

"Benjamin!", the therapist greeted his client with a radiant smile, and in return, Benji pulled the woman into a soft hug. A hugger, as he was. "Take a seat", she gestured towards the couch once the embrace had ended, and thanking her the man fell into the cushions with a thud and a soft groan. Frankly, he was yet to find a more comfortable couch, which he had learned to be something Linda got complimented on rather often.

"Well, what is on your mind today?", she questioned while moving her leg atop the other, and with a sharp inhale, Benjamin confirmed that something was indeed eating him from within. He just didn't know where to start — with the death of his father, the childlike hopes that he could even be reunited with him, the half of a love confession for Lucifer?

Rubbing his hands against his jean-clad thighs nervously, Benjamin shrugged. "You remember how last time I told you my dad wasn't really my... dad? That my mom had an affair and I was the outcome", he reminded Linda, who nodded to confirm that the memory hadn't been forgotten. "Well, I went looking for my real father. Turns out, he was murdered", he exhaled heavily, and it seemed it was quite the unexpected twist of events, indeed, as Linda's eyes widened and she leaned back in her chair.

"I'm sorry. That sounds terrible", she offered a sympathetic look before thinking of some questions to help dig deeper, which she did quite talentedly. "So what drove you into looking him up? You didn't seem to have much interest in that last time we spoke, so why now?", Dr. Martin wondered, her pen tapping against the notepad resting on her lap — however, she didn't spend most of the time scribbling down a potential diagnosis or questioning his well-being. That was what Benji loved the most when it came to Linda — she was actually a friend, she was there for her patients and she was simply trust-worthy.

"Well, Dan and a common friend were doing research without me. When I was finally let in on it, I wanted to take action. I guess I was hoping to find the dad I always dreamed of having. I know I'm not a—a child anymore, but growing up, Dan always had someone to play baseball with. Someone to go to the movies with. Someone to help with homework. They had a real bond, and I just... I wanted to see what that was like", he explained, and once the truth had slipped from between his lips, he ran his fingers through his tousled hair in frustration.

"No, this is good. It's okay, Benji. It makes perfect sense", the blonde was quickly comforting him, and peeking from between his fingers, the man lifted an eyebrow as if to question if she was being serious. "My advice to you would be that you don't lose hope, Benjamin. Disappointments and downhills are a part of life, but in between those dark moments are happy ones. And from what I've concluded, you're pretty good at spreading positive vibes", she smiled, and chuckling, Benji nodded, the thought of Lucifer instantly popping up in his mind.

"Things are going pretty well with Lucifer", he damn near blushed, which Linda noticed quickly, her smile only widening when she did.

Nodding, the therapist closed her notepad, something that Benjamin deemed a good sign. "Well, hold onto that. When you find something, or someone that you love... All you can do is hold tight and not let that potential of a happy future slip away", she suggested, and with a grateful smile dancing on his lips, Ben agreed wholeheartedly.

In his opinion, he was already holding onto Lucifer quite tightly, but perhaps he should make an effort — go beyond his comfort-zone. He wasn't familiar with relationships, and he knew that Lucifer wasn't either, but Linda Martin was very rarely wrong. So maybe it was time for Benjamin to appreciate all that he had.

—————

at Lux, which was something that Benjamin noticed each time he visited the club. It was true that when you had fun, the hours just flew by, and that was without exception the case, regardless of which side of the bar he was on. He was busy talking to some girl about the wonders of Northern Europe, feeling to need to communicate with some new people — usually, for him that meant using one of his quite effective pick-up lines and his undeniable charm on whatever handsome sight he found on the dance floor, but now that his heart was preoccupied with feelings for Lucifer, he was settling for making friends. And he had long ago realized that the people at Lux were his ideal company, wild and free and full of life.

However, the conversation was cut off once he had received a text from Chloe, saying that Izzy had been an accident of some kind — work-related, as could easily be assumed. He had no doubt that the life in law enforcement was a dangerous one to take on each day, but nevertheless, his heart sank once the reality had settled in. Benji wasn't ready to lose more people, and with nothing but love and longing for his best friend, the man had quickly exited the club and sped over to the Decker residence, where he found Izzy, surrounded by Chloe and Dan.

"Hey, oh my God", were the first words to leave Benjamin's mouth, his eyes never leaving Isadora, even when Trixie popped up and wrapped her tiny arms around her uncle's waist. "Are you okay?", he questioned in concern, and once a quick hug had been given to his niece, Benji rushed over to the couch where Izzy was seated, looking a little pale but surprisingly well, like she was healing quickly. And that welcomed relief into Ben's heart.

"It's okay, I'm okay, it's nothing—", the woman had began, but before she could finish, Benjamin had pulled her into a tight hug and held onto her for dear life, unwilling to let go. With a soft chuckle, Izzy patted Benji's back before gently pushing him away, "Dan was just about to take me home, so I can get some rest. You don't have to worry", she reassured, but the soft kiss that Benji pressed against her cheek proved that he was going to worry nonetheless.

"Nice try, Dora. I'm glad you're still kicking, though. Be safe, yeah?", he pleaded, and nodding, Izzy promised to do just that.

Dan proceeded to help her up from the couch, and as she began to walk her towards the door, he turned to face his brother. "Are you coming with us?", he wondered, and letting his mouth fall open, Benjamin thought about his answer for a second, already about to jump up, but once he noticed Trixie climbing up to the couch to cuddle against his bruise-free side, and the thoughtful look on Chloe's face, he ended up shaking his head.

"Nah", he cleared his throat before wrapping an arm around his niece. "I'm gonna stay with these two tonight. But don't worry, I'll come home tomorrow", Benjamin promised, and once they had exchanged nods, Dan left with Izzy, leaving the youngest Espinoza with his sister-in-law and one particularly adorable little girl.

He could tell something was bothering Chloe, it was evident on her stressed features, but before he could say anything, the woman had insisted on taking a shower, leaving Benjamin in charge of an evening snack — something he did quite gladly. It was a hidden talent of his, one that he didn't share with a lot of people, but he could cook. Sometimes he just preferred living on junk food, but now that Trixie was suggesting making tacos together, how could he say no?

The two worked together on the food, with Trixie carefully slicing the vegetables and Benjamin cooking the meat, the radio playing quietly to fill the moments when they weren't laughing together, sometimes at Benji's jokes, sometimes each other's mistakes. It was rather fun, and only then he truly realized how much he had missed the girl during his absence, from her quirky smile to her bubbly personality.

When they were finishing their work, and Benjamin was tossing the dishes into the sink for a clean-up afterwards, the front door was suddenly knocked on, and then immediately swung open. Jumping slightly, Benji was quick to shield Trixie, but at the sight of Lucifer, he relaxed visibly — until he noticed the distress and frustration on his face, of course. Worried, Benjamin leaned down to tell Trixie to get some of her stuffed animals to join them for the meal, and once the girl had run off, he approached Lucifer.

"Benjamin", he licked his lips quickly, "where is the detective?", the Devil demanded to know, his eyes flaring with the anger Ben had only seen once or twice before, and it was making his heart race in his chest. Lucifer was clearly restless, shuffling on his feet and glancing around the apartment to spot Chloe somewhere, but he didn't, causing his annoyed eyes to land back on Benji.

"She's—uh, in the shower...", his voice trailed off once she realized that it had already been a while. "Wait—what's going on? Huh?", Benjamin frowned, resting a hand on Lucifer's chest, and although it did seem to catch his attention, it was only for a split second and then he had already returned to fidgeting around, looking like he was about to explode.

"I just found out she is... she is my Father's doing. She was put in my path and the friendship, the bond we have, isn't her choice. None of it is real", he fumed, his voice cracking as the final word rose from his throat, and Benjamin could tell he was genuinely hurt by this. Of course he was — all his life he had felt so manipulated by his Father and Benji had certainly understood that God wasn't what people made him seem like, so to find out that such a big part of Lucifer's humanity, his life in Los Angeles, was actually a pawn in all of it...

Benjamin was speechless, but the rattle they heard from upstairs had already earned Lucifer's attention and before Ben could even part his lips, the man had already strode towards the bathroom. Shaking his head, the Espinoza tried to rush after him, but there was no stopping Lucifer from pushing open the door, only to find a — thankfully — clothed Chloe facing the mirror, her eyes sad as Benjamin found them through the reflection.

And Lucifer's demands to know if she was aware of all this were cut off when Chloe finally turned around, and they noticed the blood trailing down her nose, despite the numerous tissues in the sink that signified multiple attempts to end the brutal flow. Taking in a shaky breath, Chloe stared at the two men, both of them staring at her in shock and disbelief and fear as she trembled.

"It won't stop."

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