《1984》Chpt. 38
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I reentered my body with a deep breath. I slowly opened my eyes to find myself once again staring at the ceiling. It was different, though. The lights were out and all my clothes were off. Osamu and I were cuddled up under the covers.. but Lance was no where to be found.
I silently turned my head to Osamu. ..I looked at him for a second and then turned my head the other way in search for Lance. Of course, he wasn't in the room. I was all alone with Osamu on this bed.
With a sigh, I turned my head back to look at Osamu. Maybe it was because of my body being in high spirits after sex, but Osamu honestly looked peaceful, like a naiive child. He almost had a smile on his lips. It made me crack a small smile, too.
-See?-
I closed my eyes with a frown and let out a long sigh. See what...?
-See when I took over, you didn't have to endure so much pain. I did all that for you and turned it into my pleasure.-
...
-...And then I put you back so you could be sober for me.-
...So you're admitting to using me?
-Yes. I never denied it.-
...
-..If it makes you feel better, Sai, you're rational. You're the voice of reason between the 2 of us. Even though you're so young, you're wise beyond your years.-
I believe this was the first time Vigil was genuinely nice to me.
-Sai, we have to work in harmony with each other.-
No. With facts and logic, I can save us both.
-Don't paint yourself up like a heroin when you're just a helper. We both need each other. That's because we're opposites. Where one's lacking, the other gains, Sai. You realize we're luckiest people on the planet because we share a body, right?? We do twice the work with half the energy!! We need each other!-
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..This is why I hate talking to you. You always get emotional and sidetracked from the task at hand.
-Exactly why we need each other! You never have any kind of feeling!-
That's.. Not true at all...
-Okay, fine. You lack passion. You've got ambitions, but no passions to support them with. That's why you could never finish long hunts by yourself. You always needed my passionate nature to give you a push.-
...........
-...Sai, whether you like it or not, you're going to see more of me.-
-You can't stop me. I hope you know that.-
.......... I was too livid to say anything of substance, so I just said nothing, unlike something Vigil would do.
I felt Vigil's presence sink away to somewhere deep inside me. With him gone, I heaved another wish and reopened my eyes. ..The lights were still off and Osamu was still cuddled up to me with that pure little smile of his.
I must've not been out that long...
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