Saturday morning 8am

The girls' room

KNOCK KNOCK

"Do you think he'll go away if we don't say anything?" Lisa whispers, a little too loudly.

All the girls are still in bed attempting to take advantage of their one day a week to sleep in.

Mike answers from the other side of the door, "No, he won't."

Stacey says, "I told you," pointing at Lisa, "you're too loud."

"Shut up, Stacey!" Lisa responds rudely.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that if someone lets me in," Mike says, still waiting for someone to open the door.

Carrie jumps out of bed to let him in.

Mike's pov

"Get up and get dressed, girls. We leave in twenty minutes."

Carrie asks, "Where are we going?"

"I'll tell you later. Just get dressed so we can leave on time."

Lisa asks, "How can we get dressed if we don't know where we're going? "

"Just dress like you're going to school," I say. "It doesn't matter."

"But it's Saturday. There's no school on Saturday, so why would we dress for school? Unless we are going to school. Oh my gosh! Is that where we're going?" Stacey asks dramatically.

Julie adds, "Not cool, Mike. This isn't the Breakfast Club, ya know."

"WE'RE NOT GOING TO SCHOOL!" I swear they do this just to drive me crazy.

Lisa sasses, "Geez, you don't have to yell, Mike. We're not mind readers, you know."

Stacey says, "I'm confused. Why are we dressing for school if we're not going there? Is this some sort of drill?"

"For the love of God. Fifteen minutes, girls. Shane and I will be parked out front."

Julie whines, "Please tell me Shane's not driving."

"No, he's not driving, I am. Why?"

Lisa says, "Oh my gosh, he's like the slowest driver ever. He drives like a little old lady."

Julie adds, "Yeah, like if Miss Daisy was actually the one driving instead of having someone capable of reaching the speed limit chauffeuring her around."

Stacey sighs, "It's sad, dude."

I just shake my head.

"Fourteen minutes. Out front."

Fourteen minutes later in the car

Lisa's pov

"Mike, can you please tell us where we are going at this ungodly hour on a Saturday morning?" Lisa whines.

"We have a special family therapy session with Dr. Evans (the NJC Center's on-call psychiatrist)," Mike answers.

"A special session for what?" We never have sessions with Dr. Evans on the weekend. Every kid at the NJC has required monthly sessions with Dr. Evans to help cope with the circumstances surrounding their reasons for being at the Center. Guardians have required monthly sessions as well, to help them maintain some semblance of sanity, I would assume. Guardians and kids alike can always request additional sessions with her at any time. Presumably, that's why we're meeting with her today.

Mike replies, "Shane requested this family session to discuss how his dating and having a girlfriend might affect each of us."

Stacey is annoyed.

"That's why we had to get up early on a Saturday?"

Julie rudely replies, "Yeah, we're really not even that invested in Shane so what do we care about his flavor of the month."

Shane replies, "Hurtful."

"No offense, Shane. We don't care if you want to get some strange, plus we kinda forgot you were in the car."

Shane says sadly, "And the hits keep comin'. That feels bloody good."

Stacey adds, "Yeah, we really don't want to discuss old people chasin' tail and having sex. That's gross on so many levels."

Shane replies, "Thanks, luv."

Stacey sasses, "You're welcome, gov'nor."

Mike asks, "Where in the world did you girls learn these things? Flavor of the month, gettin' some strange, chasin' tail. Is it from watching MTV?"

Stacey asks, "What the frick's a MTV?"

I respond, "It must be some old people nostalgia show."

Julie asks, "Are you sure it's not one of those channels where they sell garage sale quality items at never before seen prices at 3am?"

Mike's pov

I feel about a hundred years old right now. Seriously, how do these kids not know what MTV is?

Stacey says, "I'm pretty sure we learned those things from watching an episode of Sesame 'the wrong side of the' Street - exploring Oscar the Grouch's seedy underground- primetime edition starring Matt Lauer and including special reenactments with Bert and Ernie."

Julie chimes in, "Yeah, you're right. It was the Elmo's World where Elmo teaches Big Bird how to make a shiv with just a bar of soap and a plastic comb."

"I'm pretty sure Elmo's World doesn't have a prison edition," I say, smiling in spite of myself. God love 'em they make me laugh.

Lisa adds, "She's right. It was Elmo's World - How to Avoid the Big House by Turning State's Evidence -A special Mother's day episode."

"It's a good thing we're on our way to see a mental health professional because the four of you clearly need help."

Carrie whines, "Four of us? I literally hadn't said a word until now."

"True, but since you share the same room with the three of them, some of the crazy is bound to transfer due to proximity alone. It's basic physics really."