"You want me to fall back with the questions?"

"Nah. Just give me some time. This is a lot."

"I know. That's why I had to come out of retirement for this. You're so closed-off, I'm still in shock that you're even here," he says jokingly.

Sam chuckles and then takes a deep breath. "...She cheated on me, and I thought I was over it until I saw her last week."

"How did you find out she cheated?"

"I caught her."

"Man. Sorry to hear that. Was she the first to ever cheat on you?"

"She was my first and last relationship."

"Wow. That says a lot. Is she the reason you never gave any of these church women a chance?"

"Well, I wouldn't talk to any of these women here. But outside of church, yeah that's the reason."

The pastor smirks at the former. "Would you say you were in love with her?"

"Nah."

"Honestly?"

"When have you known me to lie?"

"True. Well what did you feel for her then?"

"I loved her but I was never in love with her."

"Have you ever told her you loved her?"

"...Unfortunately."

"Do you love Yemi?"

Sam just stares at him, not wanting to answer the question.

"Come on Sam, don't give up now. You're doing well."

Sam sighs before looking towards the window. "...Yeah."

"Yeah, you love her?"

Sam looks back at him and nods.

"Does she know that?"

"... No."

"Have you not told her because you're afraid you'll regret saying it just like you regret putting your guard down with Jasmine?"

Sam chuckles. "You're good."

The pastor shrugs, smiling at Sam's observation.

"One more question.... when you called me last week, you told me that you think you may still have feelings for your ex. What was the first thing that came to your mind when you saw her?"

"When I first met her? Or last week?"

"Last week."

"How she cheated."

"Alright, so what type of feelings are you referring to? Because it sounds like you despise her."

"You asked for my first thought. My next thought was me wondering how things would've been if I had never caught her cheating."

"Ahhh. Got it."

"I don't want to be with her, though. I only want Yemi, so I don't know why that thought came up."

"Correct me if I'm wrong. But I believe it's because everything before the cheating was great, so because she was your first and last partner, your mind is trapped in those good times."

"P, we were so good that I would've never thought she would even look at another man. Being a good boyfriend to her was one of my priorities."

"That's it."

"What?"

"Did you ever ask her why she cheated?"

"No, and I'm not going to."

"If she was to volunteer that info to you, would you sit down and listen to her?"

"Well yesterday, she told me she cheated because she was selfish and stupid. But her telling me that didn't change anything."

"It didn't change anything because it's not the reason. Her being selfish and stupid may be true, but you and I both know that didn't make her cheat on you. Therefore that chapter still hasn't ended for you."

Pastor Harold stands up from his desk chair, and then sits in the vacant one next to Sam's. "It's like you have a bookmark stuck there, but you're skipping to the good parts of the book, not fully grasping the rest of the content, because you're missing information that would've helped with the flow of the story."

Sam nods, comprehending the analogy.

"Did you at least tell her how you felt?"

"No."

"Sam. Everyone that knows you would say that you are the type of person that is very direct when it comes to verbally communicating your disapproval. So for you to be the opposite with your ex tells me you haven't forgiven her. I won't even preach about what forgiveness does for yourself, because you've heard plenty of those sermons. But I will say that you are subconsciously allowing your resentful feelings towards your ex control the way you open up to Yemi. And that will only destroy your relationship."

"I think I'm making progress with Yemi though. So I don't need to talk it out with Jasmine."

"Tell me about your progress."

"I made myself hug her yesterday."

The pastor furrows his eyebrows. "Hug Yemi?"

"Well, you know I'm not hugging Jasmine."

"Wait... You love Yemi, but you had to make yourself hug her? Why would you have to make yourself do that with your significant other? That's unhealthy. Humans are wired to be touched, but you're starving yourself from it, and I am pretty sure that started after Jasmine."

Sam curls his lip.

"Now you have to make that dead part of you come alive for Yemi. I knew you weren't a hugger, but I didn't think it was that deep where you would be the same way towards her. No wonder she gave you an ultimatum."

"So, you're going to throw her leaving me in my face?"

"If it's not tough love, it's not real."

Sam smirks. "Does it count that I don't mind her hugging me?"

"How do you feel when she hugs you?"

"Honestly, I don't feel anything. When others hug me, I get in defense mode. But with her, I tolerate it, because I know that's what she needs."

"Wow. To actually step out of your comfort zone to do that for her is huge. Even if you don't say it to her, I hope she at least can see by your actions how you feel about her."

"I think she did see it until Jasmine came around."

"Well that means it's just time to level up. You know about the happy hormones, right?"

"Yeah. Dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin."

"Good. I don't want to sound like a teacher, but I think this will help. So... your attraction to Yemi causes your brain to release dopamine, so your serotonin levels increase, and that's supposed to produce oxytocin, which does what?"

"Makes you trust and build bonds."

"Exactly. But you not wanting to hug Yemi or open up to her emotionally or mentally is preventing that increase. So instead, you're stuck in the fight or flight response."

"... Damn."

"Yeah. So you gotta heal from Jasmine before Yemi starts regretting being with you. I bet you're so closed off with her that you don't even know her favorite color."

Sam sucks his teeth, waving the pastor off.

"I'm just saying."

"Alright."

"So how do you feel? You think you can take this information to fight what the enemy is throwing at you?"

Sam sighs. "I told Yemi I would build a solid foundation with her, so that's what I'm going to do."

"That's what I'm talking about," he says in approval. "You got this, Youngblood."

Sam stands up and fist pounds him. "I appreciate you keeping it a buck with me."

"That will never change."

Sam nods and turns to leave.

___

It's 10:30am and Yemi is just now getting ready. It's Dr. Martin Luther King Day, so she doesn't have to go in for work. She checks her phone and sees a missed call and text from Sam.

She didn't tell Sam she was off because she planned on surprising him and volunteering her time at his gym, since he gave all of his employees the holiday. She knows he should be on his way there from seeing Pastor Harold, so she hopes he's in good spirits.

___

30 MINUTES LATER

Sam unlocks his main gym holding a bag of food in his hand. He enters the dark building before re-locking the glass door behind him. He turns on all the lights and then sits his food on the front desk.

He goes into the bathroom and washes his hands before returning back to his food.

Just as he's about to bite into his burrito, he hears pounding at the door. He looks but sees no one standing there. He takes a bite and then the pounding starts again. He sighs. "Not open yet!" He yells out towards the door.

"Sam, is that you?"

Sam furrows his eyebrows at the woman's voice, but can't quite make out who it is. He stands up and strides to the door, pushing the crash bar without viewing the identity of the woman. He looks outside and sees Jasmine.

"Oh my gosh. I was so worried about you," Jasmine says in relief.

Sam has a shocked look on his face.

"Your business card has 7am as the open time, but no one was answering the phone, so I thought something bad had happened."

Sam furrows his eyebrows as he shakes his head in disbelief. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing is coming out. He looks weirded out by her actions.

"What's wrong? Are you mad because I showed up?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He manages to get out.

"I just told you. But now that I know you're okay, I'll leave now."

"I gave you my card to call here, not show up."

"Well, you shouldn't have the wrong hours on your card."

"Not that I have to explain shit to you, but my holiday hours are online. And even if something bad did happen, that's none of your business. So unless this has something to do with Brent, you don't need to be showing up where I am."

"Well, I called because of Brent."

"So what is it?"

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Sam, it's cold out here."

"It's colder in New York."

"You've turned out to be quite an asshole."

"I wonder why."

"I'm trying to do the right thing, okay."

"Where's Brent?"

"If you let me in, I'll tell you."

He sighs. "Make it quick." Sam opens the door wider, allowing her to walk in. He shakes his head as he props the door open. He then walks back over to the front desk as she follows. As he sits down in front of his food, Jasmine stands at the counter in front of him staring at his face. "Alright, so what do you want?" He picks up his burrito for another bite.

"Damn, you can stop being such a dick now."

He drops the burrito back down and stands up. "You're wasting my time. What do you want?"

"Si vamos a ser padres compartidos, tenemos que respetarnos mutuamente. Si necesitas decirme cómo te hice sentir, hazlo. Pero no me hables como si fuera una puta malvada," Jasmine retorts, causing Sam to become speechless.

"I see speaking your language still does something to you," she says flirtatiously.

"Sam!" Yemi's voice breaks Sam's thoughts. He quickly shifts his neck and his eyes land on Yemi at the door.

His head drops. "Fuck. This shit needs to end," he whispers to himself.