《Glimmer of Hope (Land of Tomorrow Book 1)》Part I, Chapter 18
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Nathan was as relaxed and calm as he could remember being in a very long time. He didn’t feel like the entire weight of the world was upon his shoulders and that every mistake might be his last…or get one of his family killed. Now he was part of a pack.
Nathan had always been a dog person and studied how they socialized. A dog’s world is the pack and one of the cruelest things you can do to a dog is to isolate them. Nathan always considered himself more of a loner, but he now appreciated being part of a large group.
Twelve days out of Hancock Prison, Nathan sat smoking the last of Harold Buchannan's Vegas 5 cigars with Harold and the prison doctor, Bobby Wilson.
"How are your patients doing?" Nathan asked. The burden for the women and girls was another he gladly shared.
"Physically they're fine," answered Bobby. "They're finishing up the rounds of antibiotics I prescribed all of them."
Harold said, "Those are going to be hard to come by. Did they all need them?"
"Need, well, better safe than sorry. I really couldn't do any lab work or anything. Besides those pharmaceuticals have a limited shelf-life. And honestly I think the pills are helping in other ways too. What ails them isn't all physical, but sometimes being under a physician's care and following directions can help in other ways as well."
The men sat quiet for a moment, and Nathan contemplated what else could be done. Everyone tried to do their best to support and help, but no one knew how, except to make sure the women and girls understood they were safe and that people cared about them.
Since leaving the prison, travel on the road was slow going at times, but it felt like they were flying after months on foot. "Will they be okay walking? The bus is down to fumes and won't go further," said Nathan.
Bobby said, "Oh yeah. They'll be fine. A couple could still ride in the truck if they needed to, couldn't they?"
They looked at Harold who insisted on bringing both vehicles even though it meant siphoning gas whenever possible. The truck had a hitch for the trailer full of supplies and a winch they used a few times a day to pull jammed cars out of their path.
Harold said, "Certainly. Anyone in particular we should assign to drive the truck?"
Nathan smiled because he knew his sons were always vying for positions behind the wheel. "There's no shortage of volunteers. Doc, you can keep an eye out as we have more walkers and let us know if someone looks like they need a break."
"Be glad to," answered Bobby.
Nathan shook the ash from his cigar. "I really appreciate everything you all are doing. I mean that. A couple weeks ago we were struggling, and now..." He raised his chin and sniffed the air. He guessed it was rabbit cooking on the grill, but regardless it smelled wonderful. A few more meals before the propane ran out, and he knew the two guards who were hunters would continue to provide for them. "Now I'm camping every night in good company. What more could a man ask for?"
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"Uh, how about cable television?" said Bobby.
"Or cold beer," added Harold.
"Maybe some deep dish pizza," quipped Bobby.
Harold put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes with a smile, "A nice hot tub."
"Okay, okay," admitted Nathan, "there is room for improvement, but at least we don't have someone trying to cut out throats or in danger of freezing to death or of having to eat our boots."
"Yet..." said Bobby.
"What a bunch of optimists I hitched up with," said Nathan in mock disgust.
"Just being realistic," Harold smiled, "only thing to do is enjoy each day and not stress too much over tomorrow."
Nathan didn't answer but he thought that was pretty wise advice. He found he could actually enjoy life. Being fed and rested certainly helped. Security was now also less stressful. Counting Nathan and his two boys, they numbered thirty-six men and women working in rotation to guard the camp every night. With at least three people on duty at all times, he wast as rested as he had in ages which made him feel like he needed to do something.
Nathan finished his cigar, took his leave of Harold and Bobby, and walked the perimeter. Then he checked out the vehicles, and finally on his family. Everything looked in order. He settled down beside the bus as night approached and stripped down all his weapons while munching on a bit of rabbit. His guns were already clean, but more never hurt.
Finally, having done all he could think of, Nathan lay down beside a dozing Bethany. He gazed upwards and admired the wondrous stars in the heavens above. Nathan was always amazed when he could get away from the city on a clear night to gaze up and actually see the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy in all its beauty. He graduated with a communications degree years before, but he thought he could have been perfectly content to be an astronomer and spend all his days gazing up at the stars.
"Beautiful isn't it," asked Bethany with her eyes still closed.
"Thought you were asleep," answered Nathan.
"Not really," she answered sitting up. "Just enjoying being able to relax without always feeling like something bad is getting ready to happen."
Nathan nodded and looked back at the sky. He knew there were plenty of bad things that could still happen to them, but he understood what Bethany meant. It was better being in a large group of people who could trust each other...and were well armed. They had seen some locals recently, but these stayed clear of Nathan’s band. Strangers were a suspicious breed these days and best avoided if possible.
"It's nice to be back home," said Bethany.
Nathan laughed, "We're not there yet."
"I mean Kentucky. Just knowing we're in Kentucky is good."
"There's no missing that fact," answered Nathan remembering a brave, and obviously well-maintained, flag on a tall pole a few miles back. Not a flag of the U.S., or even of Kentucky, but of the University of Kentucky Wildcats. The house's inhabitants watched from a distance and when Joshua waved they had at least waved back.
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Bethany giggled, "Did you see everyone's reaction at that Jerry's Restaurant place?"
Nathan smiled, "I have to admit even I was a little horrified." The abandoned restaurant was in front of a large lake with a giant sign out front which said proudly, 'Jerry’s World Famous Catfish Sushi!' "Only in Kentucky," he said.
His wife grew silent, "They will let them in won't they? Into the Jackson Purchase?"
"Honestly I don't know, honey," answered Nathan. "Hell, they may not let us in."
"But, you'll vouch for them, right? You'll convince them if you can," she almost pleaded.
Nathan didn't answer and realized that he hadn't made up his mind yet. "We'll figure that out when we get there."
"Nathan Taylor! These people have helped us! You need to learn to let go of things and not keep gnawing on them like a dog with a bone."
"You like dogs," said Nathan trying to lighten the conversation. He saw Cujo, the dog rescued with the women and girls, lying by the fire guarding the little ones. The large dog had quickly become a sort of mascot and a favorite among the prison families’ children. He smiled at the irony; there couldn’t have been a more unsuitable name for a dog. Nathan was certain the original owners had either never read the Stephen King book of that name, or else had a quirky sense of humor.
Bethany would not be put off that easily, "It's not just the Hancock crowd, it's those women and girls we rescued. Are we just going to walk away from them? That's pretty cowardly isn't it?"
Her words stung and Nathan fought against anger, "Damnit, we don't even know if the freaking JP exists! Those radio broadcasts could be coming from anywhere or be a hoax for that matter."
"You know they're real and even if they're not, that doesn't change the issue of what you're going to do," Bethany said poking him with a finger to emphasize her point. "You know what the right thing to do is. It shouldn't matter than you don't like them."
Nathan thought for a long moment. He hadn't liked the prison officials. Hadn't liked the way they had captured him and treated him, but that seemed a long time ago.
"I do like them," admitted Nathan softly.
"Good!" said Bethany sweetly, "It's all decided then." She lay back down, closed her eyes, and donned a satisfied smile.
Nathan smiled in spite of his annoyance.
"Is Joshua on guard duty?" she asked.
"Yes," answered Nathan, "I just checked on him, he's with Big Jim." Jim Meeks seemed to have taken both boys under his wing in a way that just wasn’t easy with Nathan. He thought that there came a time when a boy needs acceptance and encouragement from a man who is not obligated to give those things out of love. Joshua had relaxed and flourished in the communal environment.
He looked around and saw David was leaning against a tree sharpening his knife. Although he was close enough to hear the talk around the fire, he was just far enough away to exclude himself from the camaraderie.
"I'm worried about David," Bethany said.
So was Nathan. David appeared to have lost his sense of purpose and balance. Before Hancock, he was focused on survival and protecting his family and he did so with a single-minded ruthlessness which Nathan hated to admit he approved of. Since linking up with the larger group, David seemed to be unsure about his place in the world. He was probably confused whether he was supposed to go back to being a normal kid or try to embrace manhood. Nathan hoped, and prayed, David grabbed hold of whatever tattered shreds of childhood remained before he plunged into the serious and dangerous world of adulthood.
"He'll be okay," said Nathan with a conviction he didn't feel. "Just feeling out where he fits in is all."
"I shouldn't have done that," said Bethany almost in a whisper.
Nathan didn't have to ask what she meant. Her reaction to David after he killed the crazy woman holding her down still haunted her.
"It's okay. He can take it. We've all be under a little bit of stress."
"But he was trying to protect me," said Bethany with a heavy voice. "How could I do that to him?'
Nathan put his hand on her shoulder. "Honey, you've talked to him and done what you could to let him know it's okay and that you're sorry. Now you need to let go of it too. He's probably reacting to your guilt and feeling like you're still mad at him. Let it go."
"Hello?" she said in a deeper voice. "Kettle? Yeah, this is the pot. I'd like to talk to you about-"
Nathan poked his wife in the ribs, "Very funny."
Suddenly Nathan’s breath caught in his throat as his thoughts were interrupted. The entire group went silent. The sounds coming across the clearing were pure beauty and peace. One of the prison guard's daughters was playing a violin and the pure, wondrous notes actually brought tears to Nathan’s eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he had heard music and thought he recognized the haunting notes of Vivaldi.
After a few minutes, Bethany put her hand on his shoulder and when he turned to look at her saw there were tears in her eyes as well. “There is still beauty in this world, Nathan,” she whispered, “don’t forget that.” She squeezed his shoulder, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and rolled over to sleep.
Nathan lay down, closed his eyes, and soaked up the music and the peace. Knowing it might all be fleeting, but grateful for it nevertheless.
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