Dear Damian,

It's year one of me not seeing you. I've written a couple of these letters. I'd always gotten so close to sending them but would have to turn back and shred them to pieces. I can't send them.

I can't lie and say I'm hoping you get over me. I miss you. I miss the day we eloped. I miss the laughs we shared. I miss the dates you used to surprise me with. I just can't imagine a life without you.

But at the same time, I do hope you move on. I want you to move on with someone new. I want you to have little kids that look just like you. I remember how you always said you wanted a cute little girl. You wanted to name her Lyra, after her aunt. I also would have loved to have a girl. Maybe twins. Lyra and Haven. Haven, after my sister.

I never got to tell you about my sister. She was the sweetest person ever. I just know that she would have approved of you.

I met a girl called Ava. She's so sweet. Her family treats me like their own which is something that I missed very much. I wish you could meet her. She would have also approved of you.

You were the most perfect husband anyone could wish for. I really had a gem and lost it because of my stupidity. I love you still. I don't think I'll ever not love you.

Sometimes, I wish I had taken another decision. I wish I just came to you for help. Maybe then everything would have ended differently.

I wouldn't know, though. I'll never see you again. Maybe only in pictures in magazines and our old photos together but nothing else.

I miss your voice. I miss your touch. I miss your kisses. I miss your entire existence. That's why I can't stop writing to you, even though I know I won't send you the letters.

I hope that if we were to live another life, we'd be led back to each other. I wouldn't have a crazy man doing his best to ruin my life. And you wouldn't be heartbroken because of a stupid decision that I made.

I love you.

And I promise you I always will.

***

I walked over to see Damian hunched over his desk, a familiar letter in his hand.

"This again?"

He straightened up before giving me a smile. "It's a sweet letter. I can't believe I almost.. " He couldn't finish the rest of the sentence. I knew what he was about to say. I almost lost you. That was the letter I gave him the moment I got shot. Doctors deemed it a miracle I survived.

That's the power of love, Ava would say.

"But you didn't," I tried to cheer him up. I slowly approached him before I grabbed his face in my hands. "You'll never get rid of me. Not even if you want to."

He laughed. "I'd never want to. 3 years was a little too much, don't you think?"

I smiled wistfully at the years we lost. But, at least we got the rest of our lives together. "Yes, yes it was. Now come. Lyra will combust if we don't sing her happy birthday in approximately," I pretended to look at my watch, "2 minutes. Let's go."

He chuckled. "Yes, let's go."

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