Moving passed the large audience of spectators which had now gathered in the main pack house after hearing of the argument their Luna and the 'Unknown Luna' which was myself had had, I overheard many of the pack members gossiping amongst themselves. Some of it was just curiosity but some of it was just downright lies. Some had claimed that I had struck Noah myself, others had claimed I had struck Anya. No one dared to approach me and for that I was thankful for. I pushed my way through the throng of pack members all looking to see if they could catch a glimpse of a fight. I truly hated to dissapoint them as I would have loved nothing more than to have ripped the throats out of a few people today. I was currently in no mood for talking however, in fact, all I wanted to do was find a tree somewhere and crawl into it. Purge myself on a deer or two and just..... wait.... those were not MY thoughts.

"She whinned in my head.

I sighed.

It was never easy saying no to Layla and this time was no different. I frog marched to a row of frees and shifted before allowing her to take over my mind completely. I receded into the darkest recesses of my mind and caged myself into a steel impenetrable volt there. I wanted to run away and never come back. Why is it always me who can never seem to keep a best friend and why does everyone always turn their backs on me? I truly had no one now.

"

I didnt answer her. I felt like I was falling into a black hole and nothing and no one could help me. It was just Layla and me now. Yet again, we were outcasts. My heart was wide open for others to ridicule, use and throw us away once I had served their purpose. I whined in my wolf form as Layla finished digesting her kill. I was so preoccupied I had not even noticed she caught anything. I felt content here in the back of my mind. Unreachable to everyone other than Layla. There was no derision here, no accusations, no lies, no pity or mocking. I could be happy staying here forever. Letting Layla take the reigns and never shift back to my human form again. Layla stopped chewing for a moment and angled her ears high, listening to the pounding footsteps of an intruder. Her back arched and she withdrew her fangs in warning. Putting her back to her food to warn our visitor that what she had caught was hers and hers alone.

After a moment, an all too familiar coloured coat came into view.

Alec.

I mentally sighed. I was not ready to speak to anyone and least of all Alec. I knew I had to leave this pack and it's not like I could take the gorgeous beta with me. No matter how much I enjoyed his company, nor how much I liked the prospect of us developing a relationship together, I knew that the reality of this becoming a true match was now non existent after today's episode. His loyalties were to his Alpha and Luna and by choosing me he would relinquish his place in the pack. I could never ask him to make that decision. So I had to let him go. But somewhere, deep down I appreciated him coming to check on me. Not many men in my life had truly cared about me up to this point and whilst my independent nature was not really wanting of mens approval or attention, I think my father's lack of attention has made me always search for a mans respect. His approval, his love. God....

"Shut up Layla". I gritted out between my teeth in her mind.

I watched Alec shift and admired him in all of his glory. He was a beautiful man there was no question about it. His wolf was truly mesmerising but Alec's human form was captivating. Through Laylay's eyes I drank him in. I studied the contours of his abs, thighs and ..... nether regions without a hint of remorse or guilt. I might as well take some kind of a memory with me of our time together and what a beautiful memory this would be. He was beautiful, ethereal like some kind of Greek God. His tanned skin seemed to gleam in the dull light of the forest. Making him shine brightly. A sharp contrast to the green hues of the forest trees or the brown twigs lying on the forest floor. His hair was tousled, like he had ran to me in a hurry and I found that touching. He thought of me. I was his first choice. Not an option. Rare..... I had always been an option to the men in my life but looking into Alec's desperate eyes, I could see I had finally become a man's 'choice' and it broke me. I finally came to the forefront of Layla's mind and she finally relinquished her control to me since deciding Alec was no threat to us. I dropped her muzzle, avoiding his pleading eyes and made a split decision, as I had yet to fully join the Bloodstone pack via the traditional ceremony it meant a mind link between us was mute and I had no choice but to shift if I wanted to converse with him. I no longer cared about decency or my somewhat virginal frigid tendencies. I shifted right there and then in front of him. With no shame at all. Simply a man and a woman baring themselves openly to one another, baring all emotions. It didnt feel sexual at all, just a damn of emotions flowing between us. My will had been broken with the events that had transpired earlier and I no longer cared if Alec saw that. Once I had fully shifted I was seated on the floor in front of him. I watched his feet as he slowly drew closer to me, like a moth to a flame. He wanted to douse out that all consuming self destructive fire I had no control over putting out. With neither one of us saying a word he crouched down to my eye level and with his index finger he placed underneath my chin he raised my eyes to meet his own. When I finally met his gaze I saw a minajorie of emotions. Love, pain, desire, questions, fear but above all.. I saw his all male need to protect me. His chosen mate. The one his wolf had decided to protect above all others. The one he would choose above his pack and his title. With that revelation hitting me square in the chest, like a hammer knocking against my already beaten heart I pulled away from him and adjusted my eyeline to the side of him. By not looking at him directly I could feign indifference. Pretend like he didn't mean as much to me as I so obviously did to him. It was better this way.

My plan however, failed miserably as within a nano second this burly neanderthal lifted me off of the forest floor and onto my feet before I could muster any form of a protest. He pulled me flush against his chest and forcibly wrapped his one arm around my waist, trapping me against him and used his left hand to grasp my chin, making sure my eye line was fixed on his. I could have pulled away if I wanted too. He was asserting his power over me in this moment but I didn't care. His chest was warm against my breasts and I could feel his heart pounding against my own. It calmed my thoughts temporarily and made me forget about everything else except for this man currently in front of me. Holding me against him and anchoring me and my rampant thoughts to him. His eyes never wavered from my own. Not once did he look tempted to gaze upon my naked form, even though I know it must have been a struggle for him not to. He respected me to much to do that. I gulped in anticipation. I knew he was a strong male and I was an even stronger Alpha Luna. I reveled in the idea of another strong wolf dominating me in ways I had always fantasised about. However, since knowing that Alpha Dimitri was my mate, all of my fantasies had revolved solely around him. Not the all too tempting beta Alec. Much to my dismay.

Alec had never shown this side to himself before and I was so attracted to him in that moment I would have let him mark and mate with me if he had chosen too. But by some iron will of his own he restrained himself from doing so and this dissapointed me for some reason yet relieved Layla. She liked and respected him but she didn't feel he was her equal. Yet, I knew she would agree to his taking of us if she thought it was what would truly make me happy, but if I was truly honest with myself I didn't really know what I actually wanted and I think he knew it too. The lust and primal determination to take what he wanted as his own began to dim. His moment of resolute certainty faded.

"If you gave yourself to me, I could make you happy". He whispered so I almost couldnt catch it. His raspy baritone voice seemed to attach itself in my mind and I knew there and then that he was pleading with me. Hoping I would choose him.

"I know you would. Your everything I ever wanted in a mate. I know I could rely on you. But this pack relies on you too, now more than ever and so does your Alpha and Luna. They need your protection". I said sadly.

"So do you". He replied.

"My future is no longer with Bloodstone pack, I cannot ask you to follow me and leave behind everything you have ever known Alec. I need you to stay and protect Anya for me, you know she's in danger". I stated.

He closed his eyes slowly as he realised the truth and conviction in my words. He knew I could not ask him to follow me and his loyalty and obligation to his pack outweighed his love for me as I knew it would. And so it should! I was proud of him. He was willing to forsake his own happiness out of his duty and friendship to Liam. I smiled at him when I saw the decision had already been made in his mind. No matter how much he wanted me, we both knew his decision. So I reminded him...

"As beta of Bloodstone you made an oath to protect your pack and your Alpha. You cannot walk away from all of that for me, a woman who is not your true mate. I'm not worth that". I smiled in reassurance.

"No, you're worth so much more than that and your mate should have seen that in you. Do not let Anya's words affect you, her mind has become twisted with the need to become a mother. You must know she would not mean what she said to you. Come and live with me, we can work through your issues with the pack, Liam would not ask you to leave, knowing how much you mean to me". He was desperately trying to convince me but we both knew I could not stay. I placed my hand over his mouth. Stopping his feeble attempts to make me stay with him.

"Do not trust the new comers Alec. You know me well enough to know that I would never lie about something like that. I can't put my finger on it but they cannot be trusted. Promise me you will protect the pack".

He nodded slowly.

"I want nothing more than to follow you, wherever you go.... you know that dont you"? He said.

I nodded slowly. "I know".

I kissed him.

It was meant to be a slow goodbye kiss but it ended up becoming a passionate, desperate farewell between two 'almost' lovers. Alec grabbed my hair and pulled me closer to him as he invaded my mouth and my senses with his tongue, I became lost. It was sweet, and intoxicating and I was left bereft when it all finally ended. He was out of breath and looked at me with a passion I couldnt quite return. He was an adonis that's for sure. A dependable wolf who would give me the very ground I walked on if I only asked it of him. But it wasn't fair to do that to him. Maybe, if he was an ordinary wolf he could have followed me, but his duty as a beta made his love for me an impossible one.

With great effort on my part I stepped out of his comforting embrace. His face dropped and he looked forlorn. Almost lost without me. It hurt to see him so broken and impassive. Knowing that I was the reason for his pain almost made me doubt my decision. I never thought I would be in this kind of position, the one who did the rejecting that is. To that, I always thought would be left to my soul mate Dimitri. But today, I felt like the worst shewolf on the planet. Leaving a good werewolf behind. A werewolf who I could see now had fallen in love with me in the last couple of months. Even though he would not say the words, we both knew without him saying anything and that was enough. The energy between us was frightening to me now, I knew I was close to caving, to giving him what he wanted from me just to make him happy and to take away that sorrow I knew only too well. So I did the only thing I could to prevent it, without looking back I shifted and ran into the woods. Leaving behind Bloodstone pack. The one place that had been my safe haven from the derision and rejection Redfang had left me with. The one place I had found unconditional love in both friendship and ... something more. It was my almost place now. I almost had a chosen mate. I almost had a best friend and I almost had the acceptance of a pack. But no more.

After a few moments of running. I heard the familiar footfall of Alec's wolf running behind me. After I slowed my gait to match his we ran together until we reached the border of the pack lands. I passed the boundary line alone and turned around to face his wolf one last time. He had stopped and stared longingly at me. He wanted to see me off, and say goodbye. It was touching and I already missed him. I nodded my muzzle in respect to him and he did the same before I disappeared into the clearing and away from the howling cries of a broken wolf named Alec. Possibly the only werewolf who would or could ever love me.

*******