'17'

"Tomorrow I was seventeen and I could hardly wait".

Six years of training and finally it would all be worth it. It was 11pm and I was currently in the training gym of our pack. I didn't enjoy fighting. I liked the pain I felt when I pushed myself too far. If I wore myself out for long enough I could forget everything. I wasn't bad at fighting. In fact, I was probably in the middle of the pack when it came to skill set, speed, agility and the precision of my hand to hand combat. I preferred weapons training the most though, even though we rarely trained with them.

As wolves your greatest weapon was shifting into your wolf and riping someone's throat out, not really my style but tomorrow I would finally change into my shewolf. Everything I knew was self taught, after my father hung me out to dry six years ago there were no tutors who jumped at the chance to train me. I had to watch the training the male wolves my age recieved at school and try to mimic them as females weren't given the privilege or opportunity to train after their fifteenth year. They were given basic defence skills but nothing that was of any help.

Only the Luna's of the pack, the most fearsome female warriors were admired by the males and given that privilege of training. Everyone else however, were nothing more than scullery maids and wives. I knew I wasn't great at it but I could be worse. I had to get stronger so I would never be weak again.

I was a Beta's daughter and therefore I was strong physically. Too strong sometimes for my own good. A few weeks ago I had attempted to open the front door of my house and pulled it straight off it's hinges. Naturally, I had to fix it before my father returned home from the council that day, otherwise I would have been in trouble again. A lot of trouble. Even though I was getting my wolf tomorrow I still feared him, my father that is, and I didn't want to incite anymore of his hatred than necessary.

"VI, HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH YET? I'VE CALLED YOU THREE TIMES NOW!"

I let out a breath and stopped punching the dummy in front of me. I turned and spotted Milly. Smiling I said..

"No Milly I never have enough"

Milly smiled ruefully.

"Thought so, are you coming to the pack run tonight? It's the full moon before we shift?"

"Nope, I'm gonna stay right here and train more".

"VIOLET ENOUGH ALREADY" Milly shouted.

I exhaled.

It was pointless arguing with Milly. She was right. If I didn't go tonight the Alpha would personally rip me to shreds. Tonight was the ceremony before my class shifted into their wolves. I couldn't miss it as it was mandatory. Every wolf would be there, not to show up would be disrespecting the Alpha. Something I can ill afford to do since I was already an outcast and I knew I wouldn't survive as a rogue.

"ROGUE"

That word. It still stopped me in my tracks. Took over my every thought and dropped me straight back into my eleven year olds body I was in when.....

"What if you find your mate tonight Vi"?

Mate.

I haven't thought of that word in a long time. If he was in this pack the relationship was as good as doomed regardless of how the Mate bond made him feel. My past would compel him to reject me. Something I couldn't barely stomach the thought of going through as I was already hanging on by a thread. I didnt tell Milly, but the rejection would see me six feet under. Of that I was sure.

If my mate lived outside of the pack I would have more of a chance. But still, meeting him would be slim. My father keeps his ever hawklike eyes on my every move. The thought of me humiliating him again was terrifying to him.

My Mate!

No, I couldn't dare hope or dream of him anymore.

"Milly" I sighed

"Forget about me finding my Mate, you could still find yours too remember"!

Milly smiled a secret smile that she wasn't aware she was making. She was thinking about HIM again. The guy who promised her the world. She has been secretly seeing a Werewolf in the pack now for the last five months. Of course, she won't tell me his name no matter how much I press her, but I know of the promise he made to her. He promised that even if he found his mate he would still choose her and reject his Mates own bond. I tried to talk her out of it many times but she wouldn't listen to me. She told me that if I knew him personally, then I would do the same.

But no, that wasn't me. I couldn't take away the happiness of someone else. Not just one, but two people. My chosen Mates real mate and my destined mate would feel absolute agony once they were rejected. That's how it worked for us wolves you see. I couldn't even fathom it. I loved Milly, but in this we were divided. We always fell out over it and I didn't want to risk losing her friendship, so when I saw her getting defensive, I backed off.

Avoiding an argument, I agreed to get ready and meet her at the ceremony as I watched her skip out of the hall humming to herself.

I quickly changed and popped on a white dress that all female wolves at tonight's shifting ceremony were required to wear. The men also wore white as was custom. It's supposed to show purity.

Jokes on me right?

I felt far too exposed which was normal for me, If I was in my fighting gear I would be comfortable, but not in this, this is a different story. The name the other shifters called me came to mind.

"Plain Jane".

I was delusional to think a Mate would want me. Once I get my wolf I can move out of my dad's house and start a life of my own at the other end of the pack. The more secluded side where no one could bother me with the 'Werewhore' comments anymore. Tonight was a graduation of sorts. I could finally say goodbye to the past.

I brushed my midlength hair in the gyms changing room and stared at my bare face in silence.

"Breathe Violet, if your mate is here tonight then he is, theres nothing you can do about it, just smile and accept his rejection with your head held high".

I walked out of the building, well I say walked, more like stomped my way through the town and headed to the Alpha's house with a purpose. I realised something in the last six years, if you hold your head high, create a bubble and block them out, they can't harm you. So that's what I did. I created a barrier around my self and walked like a queen up the steps of the obnoxiously expensive wooden cabin and passed the group of old nosey bats hovering around the entrance for a good old gossip sesh, as only those who were graduating were allowed inside.

"I really don't know how you have the nerve to be here girl! Look at you, no shame at all after the disgrace you brought to this pack, nothing but a hussy, I don't want my grandson James anywhere near your sort".

Beatrice!

The old crone graced us with her presence yet again. How wonderful. Let me tell you something about sweet old Beatrice. Ahe was this cute, short, grey haired old lady. But looks are quite deceiving. Up till that night in the woods she was like a grandmother to me. I would cry with her, eat with her and tell her about all of my dreams. She would bake my favourite cupcakes and humour me, but that didn't last long. Her affection sharply turned to disdain and her gaze went from soft to hard in an instant.

1She shunned me like all the rest did and just to put the record straight, I'll tell you a little bit about her wonderful grandson named 'James'.

He was evil.

Short and simple.

He was one of those boys who threatened to rape me at eleven. One of the boys who threw me to the ground and called me a Werewhore and also one of the bullies who punched my head in so badly I needed stitches in my scalp. All of this she encouraged of course.

So no, I had no pretty words for Beatrice.

I looked down and standing in front of her was Alice. Her other grandchild not yet five. She stared up at her grandmother and me, not understanding why her grandmothers sweet voice had changed so suddenly. I made eye contact with her and smiled. She smiled back and waved at me. That was enough. I didn't need to respond to Beatrice, I was better than that and Alice didn't need to see that side her grandmother.

I walked past her non-chillance and walked over to my designated seat. People stared and I imagined the wall again. Someone was walking behind my row of chairs and purposefully bumped into me. I let out a breath slowly and waited for the barrage of insults that usually followed.

"Hey werewhore, fancy a quickie later if your free?"

The voice snickers in that usually annoying high pitched way and I knew It was James. Everyone knew James was a late bloomer and his balls hadn't yet dropped.

He was with about five of his friends and they all laughed.

Hard!

I breathed out slowly again and tried to think about the book I read this morning while they kicked the back of my chair and pulled my hair. Looking for the attention I refused to give. Then I felt Milly sit next to me. She smiled at me and before she could say anything the Alpha stood up on the stage to make his speech. Everyone including the dickfaces behind me settled down. I was safe again. At least till he stopped speaking and it all started up again of course.

No one in the pack understood why Milly was my friend and quite frankly, neither did I. She was pretty with long blonde hair and green eyes. She was under 5ft and I was 5ft '5 with mousey brown hair and grey eyes. I was slim and toned from all of my training, whereas, Milly was all woman with shapely curves. For a weak wolf she was admired amongst the women of our pack and wanted by all the men.

I looked straight ahead and listened to Alpha Greyson.

"Pack, settle down. It is a pleasure to see so many faces this evening. All of you who are graduating today will join the ranks of this pack once your wolves show themselves this evening. We will grade you on the skills your wolves possess. I am proud of each and every one of you..."

Alpha Grayson's eyes drifted towards mine where I saw guilt and sadness. I thought that was strange, but he sighed before continuing.

"May the moon goddess bless you and show you the path towards your rightful Mate. Cherish them and devote yourselves to the bond. A bond once given cannot be unbroken. Be wise with your choice and respect your Mate"

Every wolf lowered their head in respect as the Alpha watched the clock on the wall.

"Once the clock strikes midnight every member of the pack will join each other outside and wait for our wolves to shift for the midnight run"

My breathing quickened and I shifted to the edge of my seat with anticipation. I drummed my fingers on the sides of the chair and my feet did a little dance under me. Tonight would be the first night in seventeen years that I would truly be free and it was less that two minutes away.....