《My Muted Alpha | ✔️》CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

Advertisement

I slowly opened my eyes, only to see Theo intently staring at me with emotion. My eyes spilled with tears, as I whispered out, "You were there... the whole time, watching ...me, weren't you?"

He laughed, wiping his tears. "Yes, I have. It's truly... nice to see that you remember me. I'm glad to see you again, Kronos."

"Theo... why didn't you ... tell me in the ... beginning?" I asked, wiping my tears away.

He crossed his arms after placing the clipboard down, "Well, that would ruin the fun, wouldn't it? It's payback for forgetting me so easily."

I chuckled, "That's fair. But... my memory is a bit vague. My mothers lover forgive me, but... where is his mate?"

"Died in a car crash. Typical death for a werewolf. We're always doing dangerous stunts or some crap that gets us killed even though there's warnings about it."

I frowned, "No second chance mate?"

"Nope, especially if he's fucking your thirsty ass mother? Definitely not. He's a soiled soul. Even the moon goddess rejected to have him get a second chance." He said plainly with no hesitation.

My mouth stood gaped open at his words. "Well... when I first met you, you didn't ... have a mate. Did you meet her after you were ... fired?"

He nodded, eyes softening at the mention of his mate. "Yes, I did. She helped me get back on my feet and without her, I wouldn't be here right now. Kronos, treasure Rhea for me, will you? I can tell she has helped you with your healing process, but you need to learn to not rely on her anymore. Indeed, mates help us, but we can't be so dependent on them that we can't do anything alone."

I nodded, taking his advice in. His facial expression suddenly changed when he seemed to have remembered something. "That's right. Since you've went down memory lane, how do you feel? Do you still blame yourself?"

"A ... little bit. I just can't help it. In the beginning, I refused to believe their words. But... as time passed on, the more they spat it at me, the more I just felt like I needed to listen to it and believe in it. I was beyond exhausted of trying to keep the voices away." I said, describing the feelings in me.

He nodded solemnly. "I understand. That is something we will need to work on since... well, it's late. Your father should be about-"

Before he could finished, several knocks rained in on the door.

"-Speak of the devil. He's here. Come in, Ouranos." Theo said, smirking.

I had an urge to roll my eyes at his silly behavior when my father came in looking relieved once he laid his eyes upon me.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Kronos. Please work on thinking differently about yourself, because you cannot properly love someone else until you love yourself. It is a requirement." Theo advises as he saw me off with my father.

Dad shook his hand, "Thank you, Theo. You've done a significant job for my son. We'll see you tomorrow evening."

Theo bows, "No problem, sir. It's great to have you up and about again. Anyhow, I will be busy until tomorrow evening since I need to get it on with my mate. Maybe do a 69."

Dad bursts out in laughter, "Well, I'm sure my son doesn't understand. Isn't that right, Kronos?"

Advertisement

I looked between both of them in wonder.

What does, '69' mean?

Theo winked at me playfully and closes the door as we leave. Looking down, I see my dad staring straight ahead as we walked away from the therapist. Although I was beyond confused of what just happened, my thoughts about loving myself consumed me.

Dad suddenly looks up at me, smiling, "Now, what does Kronos Reindhert want to do tomorrow?"

I turned back to him quickly, pondering his question as my mood improved, "Lots of things."

***

"Wait, Dad... Are you sure ... that we're allowed to ... be here?" I asked, my smile disappearing and morphing into a bit of horror and awe.

In front of me laid an amusement pack, where thousands of humans laid. Some were laughing, smiling, joking, dancing, or just plain walking. There were even humans who were making out on the bench, while a few children who passed by pointed with curiosity.

Do they have any modesty?

Why in front of children?

I was a bit intimidated at the amount of people here. When the coordination for Rhea came, I was a nervous wreck. Luckily, she was there by my side the entire time and I was able to get through it. Now, she isn't and I have to learn the hard way on being independent.

Along with being fine with large crowds of people.

Shaking my head, my dad grinned at me with a mischievous smile. "Son, do you want to head to a stripper store after Rhea wakes up? You know, so she can dance for you?"

I tilted my head in confusion.

"Stripper ... store? What's... that?" I asked with a frown.

He clicked his tongue in amusement. "You have so much to learn. Don't worry, with me, you'll learned everything in no time. Besides, I believe that you've met the requirement to be naughty and mischievous here and there. You know, just to tease your mate well in bed."

Tease Rhea in bed? How can you tease someone in bed?

I thought beds were used for only sleeping.

Seeing that my face was twisted in a certain way, my father only laughed and directed me to what was in front of him. "Never mind that. We're here to have fun, so let's go on some roller coasters for now. I took you here when you were younger, don't you remember?"

"Yeah, I do. They ... were fun times... before you..."

I didn't want to continue my sentence, because he already knew what I would say.

His face had a pained look. "I would have rather taken the beating than you, Kronos. But don't be sad now, we're here to have fun. Come on!" He said enthusiastically, walking a bit faster to the line.

My expression lit up to know that I'll be making new memories that would replace my old ones.

***

"I'M GOING TO DIE!!" I yelled out in full spirit with the roller coaster swinging up and down. My stomach felt like it had butterflies in it, causing it to have a ticklish feeling.

Sparing a glance to my left, I could see the wrinkles of age in the corner of my fathers eyes. He was smiling so much that his cheeks started to hurt, but kept laughing along.

And for once, I found myself that it was alright to laugh and smile along as well.

Because even with all these people here, they can no longer hurt me anymore.

Advertisement

I can't let my past affect my present, but it's alright to be cautious... now.

***

"Phew, I'm beat!" Dad exclaimed, letting out a yawn.

I yawned right after him, finding it contagious. He laughed at me, poking at me with fun. His smile soon vanished as his expression turned serious. "Son, do you know why I brought you along with me to go to the amusement park?"

Shrugging, I replied, "No."

He clasped his hands together, now sitting on a bench near the sidewalk. Patting the spot next to him, I hesitatingly sat beside him.

Although I wasn't used to having people near me personally, I was getting used to it. I'm still cautious, keeping my guard up but I've loosened up a little.

Sighing, he observed the humans and children that walked by us with happy smiles and giggles. The sun was setting, lighting up the sky in a beautiful orange red. The wind blew blissfully, balancing the heat and coldness through it all.

"I brought you here to show you that not everyone here is bad. True, right and wrong are opinionated, but what I'm saying is... those pack members who abused you were corrupted. Their minds were dark with hatred and sadness, so they turned to someone to take it out on. Your mother... being there and saying you were the omega gave them that opportunity." He explained, continuing on.

"Just don't let the hurt that someone else caused be the reason why you reject the love that someone wants to give you. Don't let it take away your happiness, because there will be people who hurt you, Kronos. You just have to find the ones worth hurting for."

My father looked at me finally, smiling. "Don't ever blame yourself for people's choices or their choices of unhappiness. You were never at fault for what happened, so stop hating yourself. If you don't respect yourself, who will?"

My words died on my tongue, twisting into knots.

He grinned one last time, putting out, "You can't change the past, Kronos. But you can always change the future with how you want to be and what you want to be... starting now. So tell me, son, what will it be?"

And with that, his words were engraved into my soul for some time to think.

I closed my eyes painfully, thinking carefully at my fathers words when I was hit by a past memory. It was one that held me back from happiness. One painful and something I wanted to forget.

"Yes! Harder! FASTER BABY! FASTER!!" My mother screamed next door.

Her sounds of pleasure boomed loudly into my room, one filled with shrieks of pleasurable pain and a little bit of whimpers here and there. I could hear the board of the bed bang repeatedly against the wall, possibly creating a dent.

My 15 year old self covered my ears, trying to sleep my way to the night.

Just earlier, she had tossed me a mold covered slice of bread and a half eaten pasta that seemed to be dry and smoldered with cockroaches.

It made me want to hurl in disgust, but I was starving. I grabbed a handful with my hand and shoved it down my throat, choking on it yet swallowing painfully.

My ribs showed, and stomach rumbled day in and out. My lips that were always moisturized were now cracked to the point it bleed. The skin I had now pale and dry, with a body covered head to toe in filth that was only allowed to wash every two weeks.

I was decaying away.

Like the mistake I was.

I felt like I was the only one in the world feeling this way.

Sometimes, all I could do was lay in bed and wait to fall apart. I couldn't depend on anyone in this world, because even my shadow left me in the darkness.

It's almost as if no one notices your tears, your sadness, your pain, but they all notice your mistakes.

Then I suddenly forget why I'm sad, because it's been normal everyday now.

It's just tiring to pretend that everything is okay when it's not.

The only times I was allowed outside was to go to school. And you know, it's funny because the people you used to have that laughed and played with you now no longer spoke to you. My existence was ignored and it felt as if I no longer mattered.

Yet I smiled through it all and came home to let the tears fall.

Because even my silence was the loudest cry, but no one noticed. The loneliness consumed my soul and ate me up whole. It was my thinking that all I wanted to was to disappear but what I really wanted was to be found and loved.

Even though these thoughts swirled through my mind, I reminded myself I am a survivor.

Just as my father said before he went into a coma.

Even if the world around me rejected me, no one could ever replace the you as a whole. Along with your quirks, your sense of humor, your intelligence, your kind heart, your talents, your strengths and weaknesses, your mindset, your hopes and dreams, your smile, and the memories and experiences you created or left behind with your presence.

And I think then... it's time to break free.

From the only thing that held me back.

Myself.

I blinked back to the present, looking down at my wrists that were covered with scars. I had repeatedly hurt myself and bleed there as my wishes back then were greater to die. Others have assumed that they were battle scars, and they were.

Scars are part of you. Some are big, some are small. Some internal or some physical. They come from different things, but it always reminds us that no one is perfect or flawless. They tell us from who cuts, who are wounded souls, who are soldiers, and those who had a hard life. Those who struggled to get back up on their feet no matter how many times they wanted to give up. They are reminders of the struggles in life, and how our stories are made. They tell a story and yours tell you that you're alive today because of them.

Don't shame it. Be proud of it.

Everyday you live, you're reminded of how far you've come.

Embrace it.

Tilting my head up, I smile at last, realizing the choice I had to make.

I couldn't believe I forgot those words of wisdom.

Snapping my head slowly to my father, I replied with a firm and steady, "You ... have my word. I'll try ... to love myself from ... now on."

And with those words, I couldn't help but feel Rhea would have been proud of me.

    people are reading<My Muted Alpha | ✔️>
      Close message
      Advertisement
      You may like
      You can access <East Tale> through any of the following apps you have installed
      5800Coins for Signup,580 Coins daily.
      Update the hottest novels in time! Subscribe to push to read! Accurate recommendation from massive library!
      2 Then Click【Add To Home Screen】
      1Click