✾

"So I know you told me about Friday," Sophie starts, "but did you get into any trouble when you got back home? Wasn't your dad all p*ssed off? I guess I would be, too, if my daughter came home wasted. Still though. It's our responsibility, as teenagers, to make our parents mad because we did all the same stuff they did when they were kids. It's the tradition."

"I didn't go to my dad's 'wasted,'" I deny. "I went to Pierce's wasted," I point out, accidentally sounding like more of a know-it-all than I mean to.

"You what?" she shrieks incredulously. "Has Iris lost her innocence?" She put a hand to her forehead, putting on a show. "They grow up so fast!" A few moments went by before she straightened out uncomfortably. "Uh... For real though, did you do actually... You know, do... the thing?"

"No, oh my goodness, Sophie!" My face burns like it's on fire and I can feel it go red, so I cover it with my hands (which are covered by the sleeves of my hoodie). "Why do you think those terrible things?"

"For god's sake, Iris, don't act like it's unheard of or some god-awful sin. It's normal for people our age to be interested in that sort of thing. And if you're not into it, that's fine too. But you have to admit, it sure seemed like you insinuated something."

"I'm moving on, alright?" I give her a pointed look, not hiding my irritation. "I just avoided going to my dad's. Who knows what he would've done if he found out that I went to a party, and... you know, got intoxicated. After Pierce got Logan away, I guess I went to his house to avoid getting yelled at. I told him I went to your house."

"Gotcha," she says while nodding with a chuckle. "And what did Pierce say about Julian and I? I can't remember a d*mn thing, except for me telling you I was going to find him before going."

"Pierce said you guys were dancing and then fell asleep on the couch," I kept it vague. When I used to tell stories to people, I had a bad habit of adding too much detail to the story to the point where the person I was talking to stopped listening or just stopped caring. Later on I learned that while I think detail makes for a better story and you should listen more when a person adds it, other people have quite a different mindset towards the matter. After that, I learned it was painful but best for their benefit if I kept it simple.

"And?" Sophie gestures for me to go on, raising her eyebrows.

"And... I was preoccupied?" I go on with a shrug, contradicting my statement. Of course that doesn't count though — if I had any recollection of it that would be different. "Remember that I was drunk too and can't recall a thing."

"Be a doll for me and ask Pierce about it later if you can."

"Why don't you just talk to Julian without the excuse 'I was intoxicated' or 'I just went with my friend and he happens to be friends with her friend'? You clearly like him."

"There's no need to jump to conclusions now, Iris." She stays calm, but I know she's lying. "I think he's attractive, I'll give you that. But this is infatuation and it'll pass. I'd just be embarrassed if it was, um... a one-sided sort of infatuation."

"You're always talking about gossip in some way and suddenly you're bowing out when it gets to you. We're the social outcasts, and I just happen to be tutoring the popular boy's best friend that you happen to have a crush on."

"If you can assume I like Julian, then I can assume you like Pierce. You can't change my mind unless you take back what you said." She crosses her arms and turns up her chin.

"I've become numb to your dramatics," I deadpan, giving Sophie a flat look. "I refuse to fall in love again, and if you don't know that by now, what's the point in talking about it?"

"Fine, but when you two get married — which'll happen, because I'll be the maid of honor, remember? Anyway, when it's all official business, the first line of my speech will be a big fat 'I told you so!'"

"Sophie, for the last time! A ring and a piece of paper don't signify anything, okay? Those pieces of paper are worth as much as the divorce papers that come right after."

"Okay," she mumbled, pulling out her phone and her mood turning a complete one-eighty from before.

"I know your parents are happy, and that's great for you," I go on. "I'm so jealous. But not everybody gets that happily-ever-after — not people like me."

"Just because your parents have that history doesn't mean you will too," she sighs. "Your 'fate' isn't genetic, if you even want to call it that. Looking on the bad side of things and relying on your parent's future to be yours is just ignorant."

"Don't call me ignorant," I snap. "Sophie, that's how the world is. I don't get two parents like you do — If I even want to visit my mom, I have to go to a cold stone and talk to some soil. If I want to talk to my dad, I get told to do chores and act like an adult. Instead of—"

"I've been meaning to tell you something," Sophie shyly says, looking down at the table. "And I haven't really talked about it a whole lot, but I figured I should tell you anyway."

"Okay...?" I say it a little impatiently since she pretty much blatantly interrupted me.

"Unless you don't want to hear it."

"Just say it if you're going to."

"My parents have been fighting a lot the last couple years and they decided to get a divorce last week. I didn't tell you because... I don't know, why make it all about me?"

"I'm sorry Sophie," I let out quickly as if I'm in a rush. "I mean that really sucks. But you can't tell me it's the same kind of thing. Your mother? She's an angel — a living one, at that. And your dad? He tries to talk to you and he isn't neglectful. It sucks I'm sure, but you have to keep in mind where I come from."

She let out a sigh, closing her eyes and shaking her head before suddenly popping up with a forced smile and nodding. "You're right," she tells me, although it's dripping with sarcasm. "My mother wasn't murdered so I don't get to say anything. My struggles aren't big enough so obviously, I should just lighten up. Even if that person doesn't know the whole story, they're right. My problems are miniscule. Always keeping you in mind when simply stating what happened with me. Very insightful, Iris."

With that she stands up from where she was recently sitting across from me, taking her tray and throwing it out before leaving me sitting alone at the table in the cafeteria. She doesn't spare another glance at me for the rest of the school day.

✾

I wake up from my nap, groggily reaching out for my phone but patting the desk beneath my hand and not finding it. I notice my phone is across the room, so I force myself to stand up before tripping over a shoe and landing face-down on the floor. Perfect timing.

I eventually get to my phone, unlocking it and checking my notifications. Two missed calls from Sophie and a message. I don't feel like opening the chat since I don't really have the energy to reply and instead stumble into my kitchen to get some hot cocoa. After making myself some, I go back to my room.

I regret everything I said. The truth is, I've never seen a divorce first-hand. They sound heartbreaking. And all I know is that Sophie's parents got divorced, but started talking before she had the chance to tell the whole story.

I felt so guilty about it, in fact, that I took a nap to escape my feelings for a little bit. And then she showed up in my dream. The only scene I could remember from it, however, was her trying to talk to me while I didn't hear her. It sounded like we were trying to talk underwater but the only thing that came out were air bubbles floating to the surface just to pop instantaneously.

I even considered messaging her for a brief moment to ask for advice, before realizing she was the only one I had to talk to. And it took me a two-hour-long nap and a cup of steaming hot cocoa to reach my final decision, which was to just get the guts to apologize.

So now, I open the chat, and see her message. She said:

No, I'M sorry. You're a great friend, you're always there for me and you're a great listener. And I'm so sorry because you can't say the same about me. Don't blame yourself. How have you been holding up?

Will you tell me what happened with your parents?

I'll listen to you this time, I promise. Honestly, I just didn't know anything about divorce and I think it sounds rough to go through. I have trouble understanding sometimes but thanks for being patient. Now what actually happened?

I'm really sorry Sophie, that all sucks a lot

I hope things get better, I just don't know what to say

It's a big understatement. It is a lot to unpack, as she put it, but I have to listen. I didn't know she was bottling so much up because she felt this alone the entire time. From here on out, I have to stop skimming messages and tuning out just because I'm too washed up in my own problems. It's selfish. And maybe while I'm at it I'll be less angry, too.

✾