✾

"Red eyes."

"He has red eyes?"

"Well no - his eyes aren't really red. They just looked so red to me. Evil.

"I waited for something to happen, like for the cops to come up and tell us this all wasn't real. Or sometimes, I wished I could disappear and dissolve like sugar does in tea. Or maybe just restart and transfer myself into a different person's shoes, transport across the world and be done with what's here. I still feel like that."

"Can you tell me what happened that night, Iris? Or what the man looked like?"

"Um... He wore all black. He covered his whole face up and everything. He was tall and he had a gun, that's how he killed mom. I think he had peachy skin, bright eyes. My mom, I was standing right behind her, kind of by her, asked him what he wanted. But he didn't talk, he just took her by her hair and pulled her away. So I yelled for Dad, but he didn't come out. And so I called 9-1-1. He came out after I told him again, and he kind of pushed me out of his way and got to her, and I followed him. And he shot her, two or three times I think. I know he shot her because she fell down and she was bleeding."

"Is that all that happened before we got there? You didn't see where the man went or hear him say anything?"

"No. I stood there and me and Dad waited."

The truth was that there were definitely words exchanged before she passed. But it wasn't his business. I wouldn't remember her last words to save myself the guilt.

"Iris, wake up, you sleep like rock!" Sophie groans. "C'mon, I've been shaking your shoulders for like an hour now!"

"It hasn't been an hour," I retort, sitting up. "You have a terrible sense of time. How'd you even get in here?"

"I have my ways, dear. Anyway, remember that it's Friday tonight and we're going to a party. Remember how you promised you'd go? And before you cancel plans because it's Amelia," she blabbers, "just know that there'll be so many people that she won't even notice you. Now hop out of bed and let's get you all dressed up and ready! You look as excited as... uh... an old sloth, in that sweater."

"Choose a dress then, I don't really care." I sigh into my pillow and close my eyes.

She clicked her tongue a few times, shaking her head. "You're going to hate me for this, are you sure?"

"Yeah," I mumble. "Do whatever. You can do my hair and makeup too while you're at it, I don't care."

"Not yet, you don't care."

✾

When Sophie and I walk into the huge mansion, I have to admit that Amelia has a gorgeous home. There's a big fence gate covered with deep green vines that she left open for guests, and then you walk down a cobblestone path through these big statues with flowers and even a little pond in one area. The outside itself is breathtaking - elegant wood with a fresh coat of light yellow paint and white paint to trim it. There's a few dormer windows and then my favorite, which are the gable windows.

The cobblestone path I mentioned curves around the house and towards the front door, with a big wooden porch and a swing on it. The door is baby blue, and when Sophie rings the doorbell, I immediately start to wonder if what I'm wearing looks terrible.

Sophie decided to keep my dark hair in loose curls that were loose enough to make my hair look wavy but gave it enough volume to look well-stylized. The dress I'm wearing is a velvety red dress because Sophie said it would fit my figure the best, and I wear it with black heels that aren't too high but have a bunch of thin leather straps covering my feet (except for the tips of a few my toes which are painted red, done by me but the color recommended by Sophie). My makeup is red lipstick (of course) and light brown eyeshadow with a little gold to make my light brown eyes stand out. My mascara makes my eyelashes feel fluttery every time I blink. She did a lot of other makeup stuff too with foundation and different layers, but that's all stuff I can't really tell you about.

Sophie herself is wearing a blue strapless dress and silver heels, and her long blonde hair is pin-straight. She did fancy eyeliner - cat-eye, I think she called it - to make her eyes look wider. The eye shadow is a livid, slate-grey sort of color to accentuate her own bright blue eyes. She kept her lipstick a light pink as she normally does.

When we walk in there's already quite a few people there, enough to make me nauseous. My eyes first meet with those of the infamous Logan, making my face go redder than a rose when my lower my gaze.

"Lighten up!" Sophie nudges me with a smile. "It's Friday. Drink a little, senior year ends in like, two weeks. Ignore Logan and don't let anyone mess with your stuff, okay? Find me if you need me. I see Julian over there and I think I'm at least going to have a drink or two with him."

"O-Okay," I stammer nervously. My heart begins to race as she walks away, the shoes all of a sudden seeming way taller than they actually are. My knees buckle and to prevent myself from actually falling, I try to lean on the soft, probably really expensive sapphire blue couch behind me and look casual. Nobody I can see is actually looking at me but I feel like the whole world is watching and laughing anyway. My dress is probably too short.

Yeah, maybe I'll need some alcohol to get through the night.

✾

"I don't know who you are," I slowly say to the guy in front of me, who scans the dress I'm wearing as he has been the entire night, "but you keep looking at me all funny." I laugh, just because I feel like it. "But why?"

"Hey, Iris!" someone else calls my name before he has the chance to respond. I immediately turn my head towards them and see Logan, who holds a beer in his hand while I have some wine because I'm actually classy. Except I lost track of how much I've had a bit ago. Who cares though, am I right?

"What do you want?" I realize how much I slurred and laugh at myself. "I think you're kind of dumb."

Logan raised an eyebrow, taking one of my arms and catching me by surprise. He's got on a dark blue T-shirt and some fancy pants I think, with some shoes. Black, shiny shoes. I don't take my eyes off of them, and without really thinking about it, I have to let him know what I think about them. "I love shiny stuff, like your special shoes," I tell him honestly. When I look up, I see his gorgeous blue eyes I fell for when I first met him. "And your eyes, they shine too." Sure they don't have the same depth as Pierce's but they're the next best thing.

He smiles, the almost-overbearing smell of alcohol coming from both me and him. He takes me to a quiet area of the house in one of the small dark halls. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, and his warm, soft hands remind me why I also fell for his sweet touch.

"Your hands," I also say, taking one of them in mine, "are warm." It grosses me out a little bit, how soft they are, in comparison to Pierce's rough hands. Isn't it weird how once you get shown better things, the things you though were good aren't good anymore?

"You look beautiful tonight," he tells me, and the compliment makes my stomach fill with butterflies. The image in my head makes me giggle. "Your red lips look so... delicious," he continues.

Instinctively, I bite my bottom lip and giggle again. "Logan, we aren't dating," I suddenly say, catching even myself off guard. It makes me laugh.

He gives me another charming grin, I think not taking me seriously. Instead he leans closer to me and pushes me gently against the wall, the scent of his cologne and his alcohol mixing as he breathes before my lips. "I can't help myself," he mutters low. "You just look so pretty in that dress, darling."

"I don't know if we should kiss," I tell him, my eyes dropping. At first this was more like some fun, empty flirting. Now though, I see he was serious and I don't like it.

He shushes me, pulling my face closer to his and further silencing me with his lips on mine. It feels foreign though, not like it used to. It tastes like alcohol and cigarettes and bad memories. It tastes like I'm a last resort with wine-stained lips and he has a thirst for something I can't offer. It tastes like I'm just a dumb girl he can come to whenever his other 'darlings' aren't around to please him. It tastes only like Logan's drunken lips on mine, and that's not the kind of kiss I want.

Still I let it go on a bit longer so he doesn't think I'm being harsh. He leans his body in closer to mine, kissing more passionately before biting my lip to ask for a full-on make-out session. I can't though and I pull away, shaking my head a little. He tucks my hair that fell over my face behind my ear again and starts to work his way down my neck with his kisses. It doesn't feel right, so I say a little louder, "Stop, Logan, it feels yucky."

He doesn't listen again, just whispers, "Shh," into my ear and moves his hands down to rest on my waist. He keeps kissing my lips before moving down and peppering my neck with kisses again, and working his way even lower. He starts to tug on my dress and I shake my head vigorously then, repeating, "Stop it!"

"It's okay," Logan mumbles to me, looking even more drunk with... accidental seduction? I didn't mean to lead him on! "Nobody will notice, just come with me in the room and it'll be okay."

"Logan, I don't want to," I say, panic rising in my voice. "Please stop."

He cups one of my cheeks in his hands, kissing my forehead and tugging on my dress again. I shake my head again, getting my hands up and trying to push him off of me. It's no use though, his chest is too hard and he's too strong, and I'm too scared and drunk. His cologne is making me sick.

After I fight a little more I start to yell, but I don't get very far before he crashes his lips onto mine to shut me up. I wrinkle my nose, biting his lip as harsh as I can before he pulls back and puts a hand over his bleeding mouth. He gives me an incredulous look after that, grabbing my wrists to drag me into the bedroom. His nails dig into my skin and I wince, begging more, "Please, let go!"

"I tried to take it slow and you made me bleed, you c*nt," he irritably mutters. "You're not gonna remember sh*t anyway, so just get into the room and stop fighting it! I know you find me hot, just admit it and stop making it hard for the both of us."

"No."

That didn't come from me though. When I look up, it was Pierce, giving Logan a cold glare. With a fine button-up dark gray shirt. "Logan, back off now," he warns with an indescribable tone.

Logan - a deer caught in headlights - immediately jumps away from me and stutters. "I-I'll go. I didn't realize you two were-"

"Just back off. I said it twice now and my third way of telling you will be a punch." He steps closer to Logan, looking down at him and narrowing his beautiful hazel eyes.

With that, Logan nods weakly and leaves.

✾