《My Journey as the Fox head clan》29. A bird's feelings.
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"Are you really going to make that snake your spouse?"
Neo furrowed his blonde eyebrows, his gaze burned like firecrackers looking deep into Yilas's eyes but she avoided it. Yilas bit down her bottom lips, making a sad frown on her face.
"It's not like a have any other choice..." Yilas murmured desperately, she should be the sad one here but why does everyone else look more miserable than her.
"No, it's not! I can call my brother for help, we can kill him..."
"No!" Neo hadn't even finished his sentence, Yilas had already stopped him. She knew Sabal's upbringing was misfortunate enough so far, she couldn't backstab him like that, and killing was too extreme. Being reminded about that, it made Yilas certain about her decision. If she had promised him a home, she wouldn't go back on her words because of her selfishness now.
"He had saved Berthort so I am going to keep my end of the bargain." Yilas looked down on the ground, Neo couldn't see what she was thinking. The hand he had on the tree rolled into a fist, inside his head, he screamed loudly: 'What about me? What about my feelings for you?'
"But didn't your brother tried to do the same thing as Sabal? If he comes back and gets me, I would have to marry somebody else from your clan, the result would be the same."
"What do you mean, marriage? I am here to protect you so there's nothing to be afraid." Neo tried to defend his brother, he believed his brother would do it to save Yilas, not out of any favor in the future.
"It's something like becoming spouses, but more like from mutual love from the two-person. It's very complicated but it's more than just mating and giving birth." Yilas quickly explained the word to him, but he had a hard time differentiating. Either way, Neo thought they should be discussing the issue, not some language barrier right now.
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"But believe me Yilas, if you want the snake gone, we will have ways to do it, just believe me." Neo ground his fist onto the tree bark, the tips of his knuckle were starting a bleed without him noticing.
"It's okay, I appreciate your help but it's fine, I won't change my mind anymore. When I'm ready I will become Sabal's wife." Yilas looked up to Neo with a smile, her eyes curled up tightly that she couldn't see the emotional state he was in.
Seeing Yilas forced happiness, Neo thought how could she be so cruel to him, not knowing his feelings for her, not fighting back to the snake. She was obviously in pain but she decided to keep all of it to herself, even when he wanted to save her.
Yilas eyes opened as soon as she felt a hot, burning droplet on her cheeks, and then she saw a red eyes Neo, tears filled to the brim. His face wrinkled up like a piece of old paper, and it was red like roses, he couldn't stop the tears running from his eyes.
Yilas immediately felt anxious, she used her tiny hands to wipes away his tears but as soon as the last wave was wiped, another wave came in unannounced. Her expression saddened, if she was able to cry, she would have been the one crying.
"Why are you crying, I should be the one crying..." Yilas frowned deep, the corners of her mouth pointed downward making a heartbreak C curve.
Neo rest his forehead onto Yilas's head, one mourning sob escaped his mouth and then he couldn't stop them from coming anymore. The loud sound of him weeping filled Yilas's mind, she didn't know what to do but to hold him tight and patted his back, letting him vent all his emotion out.
Neo was bawling his eyes out for more than 10 minutes, his heart felt like it was broken into a million pieces. He asked himself why she couldn't see that he liked her, if he had made a move sooner they would have been spouse by now if he had the guts to tell her how he feels if he was more certain about her when they were here the first time.
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So many ifs that Neo could have done but it was not too late, he thought. If he told her how he felt maybe she would accept him first, Yilas had asked the snake to wait so what if she "marry" him before the snake. With that though, Neo stopped all the crying, roughly wiped all the tears and mucus coming from his face with his arm, he needed to recompose to ask Yilas seriously.
"Yilas!" Neo called suddenly, his hands held Yilas's arms tightly, his red swollen eyes looked directly at her.
"Come with me to the Boar's clan, I will marry you and protect you, just leave all of this behind and start a new life with me."
Yilas sighed, she looked at Neo endearingly but she shook her head.
"How many times I have to tell you Neo, I am not going to leave this place, ever. I know you wanted to help but that is out of the question."
"What if I marry you instead? Maybe then the snake will lose interest?" Neo continued, he desperately looked for reasons.
"What if it doesn't? Then you would be stuck with someone you don't love for the rest of your life. It's not worth it Neo...." Yilas smiled kindly, he had good intentions but his logic had flaws in them.
"That's not true, I like you, I really really like you, more than any female I have ever known. You're smart and kind, you may look weak and shy but you have aren't easily swayed. You also have strong moral and generous..."
"I-I..." Yilas was speechless, she wasn't expected to be bombarded with all of this from Neo, to her he had always been like a little brother who wore his heart on his sleeve. She thought he was adorable but she never thought about him that way. But seeing his sincere confession, her heart was deeply touched for a moment.
"You are very talented, you know how to make new tools and you know how to take good care of your clan's future." Neo continued his long speech of all the good things he saw in Yilas, words just came out of his mouth without filters.
"And especially, you treated me like I was someone precious to you, you cared for me and look after me even when you don't know me well. I like you a lot, no, I love you, Yilas, I love you dearly."
Neo still had his eyes glued to Yilas, she was speechless, her mouth opened slightly in awe but she didn't know what to say. She had just set her mind to accept her marriage with Sabal and now Neo came forward with his feelings? Yilas truly had no clue how she was going to deal with it, all of it was too overwhelming.
"I-I don't know." Yilas slurred her words, she could barely think right now.
"Even if you don't love me, just marry me first, as long as I can be around you I will be happy. Just please don't reject me, don't ignore my feelings." Neo begged Yilas, he looked like a poor, vulnerable puppy asking for Yilas's savings, her heart wouldn't let her say no but her head was keeping her focus, she couldn't take this anymore.
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