So not long after I finished writing up yesterday's entry, I saw 6 or 8 glowing red eyes. They were big but not mean. Just big. I'm meaner. Heh, that was a spider alright. I threw a lightning spell at the fucker which shocked the poor thing to death. Now right after is when I heard all these creepy crawling noises all over us. Not just a few, but I mean a bunch! An army! We were surrounded and I had only myself and my wits to kill them. I had the ability to come through the ordeal unscathed, but I had those 3's lives to consider. Maybe 2 but Mr. Foot sold me some jolly green and he's pretty decent so I consider him a life to consider. Fortunately, I didn't have to make the tough decision because the other 3 were already awake and kicking some ass. Walter was shooting arrows left, right, up and even down at some points. That was wild. Gregory was doing some lance jabs and I swore he was throwing some spears. I guess he had some somewhere. I couldn't tell, I just thought he carried the lance and only the lance. Rowan was using his tome and doing his crazy shit of burning the fuckers. I think that was a really good idea since the fire brightened up the dark forest of the night. Should've done it myself but I had bigger issues to worry about than which spell to throw at the crawlers. Plus I think you need to pray to a lousy god or something. I don't need any blessing from some divine being that was never there for me or anyone, even if it does make me slightly stronger. Mr. Foot was punching and kicking them and I swear you'll never want to piss this monster off. That was kind of racist to say but seriously, he can punch your head off if he wanted to and make it roll. This shit went for maybe 2 minutes. It was fucking INSANE. I can't express how badass we were! Like, a painting is worth a thousand words, this shit was ten thousand. I wish you, the reader, could've seen it! You'd be pissing your pants and drying up your eyes from not blinking from sheer awe... AWESOME.

After we managed to kill all the spideys that came after us, we had another problem. "They know we're here," Gregory said. He was panting like crazy. So did everyone else but I was ready to continue. I knew how to manage myself better than most people. Back to Gregory, he continues, "We need to find their nesting place or it'll be a sleepless night." Did he really have to say it like that? It was pretty damn pretentious, but we all agreed. Now the problem was where in the underworld were they? "Let's split up and come back here," Walter suggested. "I could sense a spider or more within a 20 mile radius, you know," Rowan said. That was going to be useful. So we made Rowan do that. And after that, Rowan took the lead through the forest. Nothing really happened. It was dark but not scary. Sure we had to watch our backs, our sides, our fronts, our tops and bottoms, but there were 4 of us. I know I'm competent and they were slightly as well. We could easily take on more of these.

We made it to the cave. Caves, man. I'm not scared of them. I just want to say that caves are terrible for any tactical strategies, and they're cold and sometimes you get jumped by assholes out to steal your money. I fucking hate caves. But we had to go inside. I suggested I stayed out to keep guard of any potential other spiders out to trap us inside but Rowan said they were all inside so there was no reason to keep guard. Sure, I was just looking out for the others, right? So we go in. I let the other 3 go in first because who knows if these spiders or the assholes who took my money that time were behind us. Underworld, that was a shitty day. At least they got grounded for 2 weeks when they eventually got caught. Serves them right.

Damn, we were in the cave and it was real quiet and real long. I wasn't one who needed a rest but if I ever needed to go all out, I could sure use it. We didn't say anything. Just carefully made our way with Rowan being our guide. At some point he stopped and we all stopped with him. He turned to us with a look of 'Yeah, this is it. This is the shit we went after and I'm worried and scared and probably would've wet my pants but I already took a piss beforehand so that part is okay, but we're balls deep so there's no turning back and we better not fuck this up because if we do, it'll be the last fuck up of our lives.' For the record, this is how I'm describing Rowan's face, not mine. Just wanted to clear that up. Rowan casted Daylight or some spell like that to shine the entire area and yeah, so in front of us was a huge, and I mean HUGE open area in the cave crawling with the fuckers and the mother of all spiders was in front of us. This thing was a HUGE beast! The size of it was comparable to a mansion! And I already said these smaller fucking spiders we faced off in the forest covered the entire top, bottom and all sides of the cave.

There was no time to show fear. There was no time to run back. It was fight or die trying. The next few moments were a blur to me, like another me took over. One that was sealed within me, reserved for only the greatest times of need. I honestly can't describe what happened. No, really. I regained my regular self in front of a campfire in the forest. I almost freaked out, but I managed to gain composure and asked my mates who surrounded the campfire what happened. Apparently we managed to accomplish our mission. The spider queen was eliminated and so were all the little fucking crawlers. We were going to go back tomorrow and claim our reward. Fucking awesome.

Signed, James Noah Smith