[Vince and Chelsea are sat under a pavilion in the middle of a park. The pavilion has a black roof with red beams and fences holding it up. The floor is stone, but the surroundings is grass with a few paths around the park. There’s also a small playground nearby that some kids are playing in. The two are sat next to the fence, Chelsea wearing the top hat.]

Vince: Hey, um… I have a bit of a… question.

Chelsea: [worried] Funny ha-ha question, miserable bloody question or “so you and Leigh” question?

[Vince looks at Chelsea for a moment, speechless, then looks forward.]

Vince: Um… let me pick one quick.

[Chelsea chuckles.]

Chelsea: [exaggerated] Well let’s just skip the questions, um… me and Leigh, oh yes! So much fun, absolutely entirely head over heels so to speak! Now miserable, hmm… aww, that’s so sad, I’m so sorry. And finally funny.

[Chelsea bursts into exaggerated laughter, rocking back and forth on her seat.]

Vince: [interrupting] I need you to help me get a present for Sissel.

[Chelsea’s laughter stops for a second, leaving a fake smile.]

Chelsea: [hesitant] Does it involve time travel?

Vince: [hesitant] Yes.

Chelsea: Vincent, whatever it is, we’re not doing it.

Vince: [defensive] It wouldn’t be anything serious, we’re not trying to bring someone back from the dead.

Chelsea: I don’t know how time travel works yet, we can only do it if it’s… well, drastic.

Vince: [defensive] It’d literally be a trip there and then quickly back.

Chelsea: Where? Where is so important that I’m gonna break my rules. It better not be Tracey.

Vince: It’s not Tracey.

Chelsea: Because I just wouldn’t be able to handle that, let alone him.

VInce: It’s not that, it’s-

[Very suddenly, Cheshire jumps up at Vince, making him panic and fall onto his back.]

Chelsea: [surprised] Jesus!

[Vince grabs Cheshire from on top of him, moving him to the ground in front of him.]

Vince: Hey Cheshire, buddy.

Chelsea: That thing is crazy.

Vince: Stop it, he’s excitable! He’s just a cat!

Chelsea: Yeah, well… more of a dog person. Can't handle cats anymore.

[Vince starts to pet Cheshire, who purrs loudly. Chelsea places the hat down by her side, reaches her whole arm into it and pulls out a brown bottle. She opens it up and drinks from it, Vince giving her a weird look before quickly looking down at the hat.]

Vince: [surprised] Oh…

Chelsea: Gary said it’s a bottomless hat.

Vince: [surprised] With beer in it?

Chelsea: Apparently.

[Chelsea takes a drink from the bottle. Vince picks the hat up, looking it over. He looks down into it, seeing what looks like a starry sky inside.]

Vince: Who even owns this thing?

[The hat is suddenly snatched out from Vince’s hands. They quickly put the hat back on their head, removing their mask. On their back is a very large bag on their back.]

Hatter: [angry] I do. Why do you two have it?

[Vince and Chelsea quickly stand up, Cheshire hissing at Hatter.]

Chelsea: Our friend sent us. Gary, you met him recently. We think you could help us.

Hatter: [angry] Oh, does he know? Well isn’t that nice to know.

[Hatter starts to chuckle madly, a large smile going on his face. He drops the hat back on the floor.]

Hatter: [yelling] Sit then!

[Vince and Chelsea both very quickly sit own on the ground. Hatter takes the bag off his back.]

Hatter: [angry] What do you want to know then? Need something clearing up?

Vince: [hesitant] Um… who’s the Rabbit? And Alice?

Hatter: [scoffing] Like you don’t know.

[Hatter forces the bag into the hat, part of the bottom pushing in. He starts kicking the bag down into the bag.]

Chelsea: [worried] What’s that supposed to mean?

Hatter: [crazed] Oh… oh-oh-oh-no-no, you know exactly what I mean I think.

[Hatter gives one last kick and the bag pushes into the hat, vanishing. He quickly dashes over to the two, pushing Cheshire behind him.]

Vince: Leave the cat alone.

Hatter: [crazed] Oh of course I will. The cat and the rabbits and the fucking caterpillars!

[Hatter grabs a tight hold of Vince’s neck. Chelsea panics, backs up slightly, then kicks Hatter in the head. He groans and kicks her in the stomach, knocking her over, then places his foot against her throat.]

Vince: [strained] Chelsea…!

Hatter: [crazed] Ch… Chelsea?

[Vince looks at Hatter, confused. He nods.]

Hatter: [confused] What’s your name? [shouting] What is your goddamn name?

[Hatter holds his neck tighter, Vince pulling his hands up to hold. In the background, Cheshire starts to hiss and crawl towards Hatter.]

Vince: [strained] Vincent, it’s Vincent!

[Hatter scoffs, transitioning into a mad laugh.]

Hatter: [crazed] Oh, that’s his game now… interesting… well give the Rabbit a message for me.

[Hatter leans into Vince, teeth grinding together.]

Hatter: [crazed, quiet] I don’t hold back anymore now. If I see any of you again… you’re all dead.

[Hatter suddenly screams in pain and hobbles back, letting go of Vince and Chelsea who both gasp for air. Hatter turns around and pulls Cheshire off of his leg, tiny dribbles of blood dripping from his mouth.]

Hatter: [crazed, angry] You little shit… you’re coming with me.

[He walks over to his hat and pushes Cheshire into it, who squeals loudly.]

Vince: [strained] Hey!

[Vince crawls towards Hatter, who turns and kicks him in the face.]

Hatter: [crazed] Let your boss know I’m gonna call him to get this little shit back.

[Hatter hops over the fence and leaves the pavilion.]

Hatter: [loud] See ya never!

[Vince moves over to Chelsea, grabbing her and leaning her up on the fence. He stays crouched, holding his nose and looking around. The local people in the park are staring at Chelsea and Vince, some recording it on their phones.]

Vince: [strained] You okay?

[Chelsea shakes her head.]

Vince: [strained] Fair enough… well… can’t get much worse than this.