Chapter Seventeen

Confused Consciousness

The emotion in the room had changed. Consequently, the mood of Alice’s dreams altered too.

While on the phone with her mother, the build-up of Warren's sexual tension was palpable to the sleeping empath. His masculine energy was charged with lust now in place of the paternal tenderness he’d emitted previously. Emotions weren’t linear things, and it was easy for one to blur into another. Soon, the images in her mind also began to tangle together, confusing her further.

Warren was thirsty; it made Alice’s throat dry. As he imagined relieving his thirst with Karou, that feeling resulted in her neck feeling hot. The yearning sensation in his lower stomach caused her thighs to flex against the sheets she lay in. What was real versus what she started imagining was happening to her body led her subconscious toward an obscene scenario.

By the time Warren left Alice’s room, she was consumed by her sensual dream. Beneath the blankets, her fingers clutched at her mattress as she squeezed her thighs together. Her breathing hitched every so often when the imaginary sexual torment was particularly thrilling. The make-believe man she was in the company of had his hands all over her body, touching her in the ways she liked best. His mouth explored her own and wandered, all while she enjoyed the obvious pleasures of the entanglement at their hips.

It had been so long since she’d last enjoyed such affection. In fact, all of her real-life experiences never lived up to her dreams. Often she had to leech pleasure from whoever she was with, and too often, that person ended up being Samir. Though she wasn’t certain who it was, she was certain it wasn’t him she was fantasising about just then. As is the way in dreams, certain aspects seem to be non-descript; the man’s face was unidentifiable, yet she seemed perfectly able to piece together the look of his chest and strong shoulders, even down to his fingers as they interlocked with her own.

How the pillow's texture against her cheek occurred to her when she turned her head into it indicated that she was more or less awake. The closing of her bedroom door stirred her completely, and she awoke with a start. Breathless and sweating despite having no temperature, Alice sat up in bed with her grey eyes wide open. Her dream had ended abruptly with the arrival of her next sitter.

“Hey, you’re awake.” Said Cassandra, who made her way into the room to sit down in the armchair next to her nightstand. She sounded relieved.

“Er, yes…” Alice replied hesitantly, still getting her bearings. It wasn’t that the location was unfamiliar to her, it was her bedroom, afterall; it was just that she had expected to be in her sister's presence.

“You look a bit flushed. You don’t have a fever, do you?” Cassandra asked and reached to fuss with the medical paraphernalia on the nightstand - a thermometer must have been amongst the items. “Here, let me check?”

Alice brushed her sister’s hand aside and shook her head. She felt fine, fine enough to be bewildered. Throwing back the bedclothes, Alice stood unaided and made for the window hurriedly. She pushed the curtains aside in a flurry and flung open the window to take a deep breath of the cool night air.

“That’s better.” She muttered to herself.

“You alright, Alice?” Cassandra stood and followed her sister, concerned.

“Yes. I’m fine. I just needed some fresh air, is all. It felt a little bit stuffy in here.” Looking over her shoulder at her sister, Alice smiled to put her mind at ease.

“Y’know you shouldn’t really be walking about yet; you had quite a fall.”

“I don’t feel unwell, Cass. I promise.” Alice nodded and wandered away from the window and back towards her bed. She didn’t intend on getting back in it, though; no, she’d just spotted the jug of water on her other nightstand and decided to pour herself a glass. Taking a hearty swig, she sighed in relief and asked, “Have I been out long?”

“Couple of days.” Cass shrugged. “We’ve been taking shifts to sit with you.”

“Has Warren just left?”

“Uh-huh, yeah, how’d you know that?” Cass’s head tipped curiously.

“I thought I felt him here, that’s all.”

“Right.” She nodded, satisfied with that explanation.

Meanwhile, Alice was left blushing in embarrassment about all she’d been feeling.

“Y’know, I know I joked that I wouldn’t call him Dad, but it feels kinda nice having him around, huh?”

“Yes, very nice,” Alice admitted too quickly. She felt dizzy and set her hand to her forehead.

“Hey, hey, sit down.” Cassandra ushered Alice back onto her bed before she keeled over. “C’mon, somethings up, I can tell.”

“I-… I like having Warren here; he’s quickly become a friend, but I had the weirdest dream, Cass.”

Alice didn’t need to say anything else, she knew what the look on her sister’s face meant, and it made her pull an expression to show she was more than a little grossed out. “Ew, Alice! I mean, he’s hot and all, but he’s Mom’s boyfriend or whatever they are.”

“I know, I know. I didn’t mean it. I’m not even sure it was him. He just felt-…”

“Wait, what? Felt what? You don’t think he tried anything funny while you were out cold, do you? Maybe that could’ve caused your dream?”

“No. No, he’s not like that.” She shook her head with certainty.

“I mean, I don’t really think he’s like that either, but you never know.”

“Believe me, Cass, I would know. I think I just got confused.”

Alice’s shoulders grew ridged when her empathy suddenly detected someone in the hallway. Their emotions were intense, and they were getting closer and closer to the door. She ignored his arrival, though; she was too distracted by the pain she felt in her wings when she’d flexed her shoulders. She’d fallen directly onto them, and they were a bit bruised; any movement caused her to wince.

Her distraction didn’t matter to him, though. Samir beamed and came to be stood before her with a genuinely happy grin on his face. “I’m so glad you’re awake! I was so worried, bird.” He said and reached to stroke her cheek, and she let him. His feelings were genuine; it would’ve been cruel to refuse him when he meant so well. “I’m so sorry for everything that happened the other day. You know how I get; sometimes, I can’t keep my hands off you. I didn’t mean to-…”

“I know, Samir. I know.” Alice assured him. She had already felt everything he wanted to say because his emotions were always loud, and erratic sometimes.

He nodded in understanding but just to check, he asked, “We’re not on bad terms, are we?”

“No. We’re not. Don’t’ worry.” How could they be when she could feel all the love that flowed from him?

“Should I er… leave you guys to talk? Alone?” Cassandra piped up. She felt a bit awkward now that Samir was there making eyes at her sister.

“Yes, please. I’m not mad, but I do think we have things to talk over?” She glanced at Samir just to check he was on the same page, and he nodded in agreement.

“Alright. I’ll catch you later.” Cass nodded, took that as her cue and moved to leave, but not before pressing her lips into Alice’s cheek briefly and saying, “Love you.”

“I love you too, Cass. See you soon.” Alice smiled, and with her sister now out of the way; she turned to focus her attention on Samir.

His big brown eyes looked down at her tenderly and hopeful. “Do I get to kiss you now?” He was making an effort to gain her consent; he’d genuinely been shaken by what she’d implied on the rooftop. “I wanted to come and see you, but your mother wouldn’t let me because I was “too riled up”.”

It was true that he was eager to touch her and love her better, his hands reached for her in any way that they could, but to stop him from getting carried away, Alice took his hand in hers. That seemed to calm him down a little, but his fingers still fidgeted about, stroking over hers. He was like an excitable puppy; it was actually quite adorable, she thought. Smiling up at him, she reached to comb back a stray strand of his black bangs that’d come loose from his hairstyle. Now that he was touching her, she felt compelled to do the same.

She was coming around to the idea that perhaps all she needed to do was communicate with him better, and all the doubts that she had would disappear, along with their relationship problems. He wasn’t an empath, so he didn’t know how she was feeling unless she told him. She often forgot that and took her inside knowledge for granted.

Samir's emotions grew more and more overwhelming, and Alice started to feel swept away by them the longer he stared at her, and the silence stretched between them. He stood there adoring her until Alice caved, and the mood descended. Hands began to wander. Their lips met in frantic passion. Perhaps that should’ve been far from her mind, but considering the dream she’d been having, it was easy to slip back into that frame of mind, especially when she felt Samir’s hand roaming down her thigh and teasing up the hem of her nightdress.

“Mmm, Samir,” Alice whispered, a little surprised, a little desperate, and timidly looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes. That look was her charm and caused Samir to grin deviously.

“Yes, my lovebird?” He whispered back, laying on his own charms; he called her his pet name for her and the one that he used exclusively when he felt amorous.

She whimpered again when his hand squeezed her rear; she was slightly bruised there from the impact after her fall. Samir thought it meant she wanted him and was a plea for more groping. He wasn’t exactly wrong, but she needed him to be gentle with her in her fragile state. Her better nature knew that he wasn’t likely to be; he was a hand-fisted man who didn’t realise his own strength most of the time.

Overthinking her relationship with Samir never got her anywhere but where they were now. They’d been friends since Alice came to Enoch from France as a child. It made sense for them to be together. Everyone wanted them to be anyway.

Closing her eyes and submitting herself to the moment like she had so many times before, Alice was encouraged by Samir’s eagerness. She loved how adventurous he made her feel – that was a rush in itself. When Samir’s hands made their way to her front, she cried out, and although he stopped her with another reel of kisses, that felt so much better than what he was doing before. Her body reacted without thought; her hips rolled into his hand, asking for more.

He moaned her name and steered her hand to his hips. Alice obliged, knowing what he wanted. They stayed that way, just touching for a while, and that was enough for Alice to find release.

Watching her revelling in pleasure pleased Samir, but he grew impatient to get his own. “I know we shouldn’t, but…” He said to test the water, but he needed more than just her hands around him.

“I- I can’t… I can’t lay down; my back’s bruised.” Alice explained.

“But is this enough?” He asked and moved his fingers to prove his point.

It wasn’t. Alice wanted more now that Samir was there, so she allowed him to take charge and position her. Bent over on her mattress, Samir positioned himself behind her. It should have been pleasant, but nothing about their position eased to pain in her back and wings. Even though he was trying to be considerate about how he touched her, he still kept her there for an hour while he squeezed every ounce of pleasure out of their affair.

It all got too much at some point - Alice teetered on the edge of a blackout. She panted and winced at every thrust. With her face planted into the sheets, she hid how the pain contorted her face. Samir’s pace was relentless and intense, if she was going to make it through the ordeal that their lovemaking had turned into, she felt she had no choice but to submerge herself in his emotions. That was where she found new vigour and renewed pleasure; it was relieving. As soon as she’d tuned into him, she was a new woman, overflowing with lust - wild with it!

She erected herself on all fours and worked her hips back against him. Her silver wings which had splayed, lax at her sides, now stood proud. Her fingernails clawed at the sheets as she rode waves of ecstasy, all while Samir watched them through the floor-length mirror on the other side of the bed.

“Yes, that’s it. Look at you, look at Us…” He asked and grabbed her chin to make her look at their reflection in the mirror too. “Tell me you love me, Alice?”

“I love you… Samir,” She heard herself say, watching her lips move like she was his puppet.

Another hour had slipped by, and Samir’s golden brown skin glistened in the dawn's light; he’d had quite the workout, but this was his favourite kind. It was always rougher toward the end when he was getting close, and although she was only keeping up with him via her empathy, in reality, her bruised body had long reached its limit. She’d pay for it. She always did because she was not Samir’s equal athletically. When he grabbed her hips and his fingertips dug into the bloom of bruises over her rump, even her empathy couldn’t distract her. The spike of pain that shot up her back and down her thighs was searing. Pain and pleasure were confused and blurred together when she felt his climax erupt through her and cause her whole body to quake in ecstasy along with him.

She cried out into the room loudly, and Samir mimicked her as he finished her off with the last few thrusts of his hips before he folded her down onto her side. Collapsed on the sheets, it was hard not to feel discarded as she watched him come around - knelt on her bed, naked and glistening with sweat, shaking off the last of his climax as he looked over himself in the mirror. Indeed, he was a beautiful man - a perfectly sculpted adonis, but it wasn’t attractive that he knew it.

Still, once he’d finished admiring himself, he tucked himself next to Alice and kissed her shoulders, neck and face affectionately. “Mmm, you’re perfect, you know?” He cooed.

Is he saying that to me or himself? Alice wondered snarkily. “Flattery will get you nowhere.” She joked -it’s what he liked her to do, but honestly, her body felt like it was going to crack and crumble into a million pieces.

“Where else could we go? Unless… you want to go again?” Samir chuckled and nuzzled into her mess of brown hair.

Alice shuddered at the thought. She couldn’t think of anything worse at that moment than doing it all over again. “I’m-… worn out, Samir.”

“It was quite a workout, huh? Whooo, I feel the burn already.” He chuckled. “You can sleep if you want; I can’t stay long. The parents want me to go to prayer with them this morning.” He rolled his eyes; his parent's religious beliefs were lost on him.

Samir stayed curled up behind Alice, cuddling, for around fifteen minutes. He combed his fingers through her hair and stroked her feathers affectionately until he finally kissed her cheek, covered her up and left her room, leaving her to sleep off their physical exertion.

Alice slept for almost another twelve hours straight, curled up, naked in her bedclothes. Karou was sitting in the armchair beside her bed when she came around.

“Mother?”

“I’ve been sat here trying to talk myself out lecturing you, Alice. I know you’re a big girl but Jesus, how could you disregard your health like this?” Karou opened; she was displeased.

“Please don’t be angry, I can expl-…”

“I kept Samir away for a reason! I knew this would happen.” Karou knew he’d been with Alice because she could smell him in the room, on the bed sheets and even on Alice herself.

“I’m sorry.” Coiling herself tighter into the sheets, she wiggled her way to sit up against the headboard and wallowed.

“You don’t have to be sorry to me; it’s you who has paid the price for it.” Karou sighed. “Let me go run you a nice hot bath.”

Shoulder deep in warm water, surrounded by bubbles, Alice felt all her aches and pains melt away. Karou sat behind the tub and washed her daughter’s hair. They enjoyed each other's quiet company and relaxed in the calm atmosphere.

The perfume of a burning scented candle filled the tiled room; Karou and Alice each took deep breaths of the pleasant scent.

“Hm, I think I like this one better than the last one you had,” Karou noted, initiating idle chit chat.

“Rashida got me this one from the night market…” Somehow, the conversation was back to Samir; Rashida was his sister. Out of nowhere, Alice asked, “Mom, do you dislike Samir?”

“No. He’s a nice boy… But he is a boy.” Karou shot Alice a look when she glanced at her from over her shoulder.

“Yes, he’s immature, I know that, but he’s got a heart of gold.” Alice found herself defending him.

“You love who you love, Alice; you don’t get to choose. But… he isn’t your equal.”

Alice pulled her knees up and rested her chest against her thighs. Deep down, she knew that her mother was right. “Is Warren your equal?”

“I didn’t use to think so… I admit that I’ve always put him on a pedestal despite being aware of his faults. Now I’m older, I can see that he is. We balance each other.”

When Karou spoke about Warren, Alice could feel her love for him. It burned hotter than the water she bathed in, but it was just as calm and blissful. Focused on that, Alice basked while Karou hummed and combed her fingers through her clean, damp hair.

“I hope that you find the one that completes you.” Karou lent down and kissed her daughter's forehead.

“I pray that I do too, mom.” Alice closed her eyes and smiled.