"Go ahead and get more stock as I set up, Owlbert. We can never have too much!" Eda told her little owl. He hooted happily and flew through the door portal.

---

It wasn't the first time Owlbert had been in the human realm, so he knew the best place to get their treasures: the garbage cans.

He began his usual rounds, collecting the stuff the looked the most interesting and placing it all in his little tan bag. He told himself it was time to go when he had to drag it to move it.

Trying to ignore the annoying clinking of the objects, Owlbert pulled the bag along the pavement of each neighborhood that he went through to collect, trying to get back to the old, dilapidated house that held the portal back to the Isles.

He was passing by the last house in the neighborhood - skipping their trash because it was boring - and making his way into the forest when he heard a young teen and her mother talking. Something about a summer camp. Even their conversations were boring. Owlbert struggled some more with the bag. The girl sadly put a book in the trash.

So... you like weird, huh? I'll show you something weird...

Owlbert blinked. He didn't think those thoughts! But it didn't matter. He had to get the stuff back to Eda. Again with the dragging.

"Get the book."

"Hoo?" Owlbert questioned, looking around.

"Get the book."

Owlbert turned around. Nothing but the depressed teen and the trash can.

"Get the book."

Owlbert tensed. Get the book. "Hoo!" He shouted, trying to push the strange, invading thought away.

"Get the book."

And without question, Owlbert got the book. The girl suddenly started to dig in the trash, evidently searching for it.

"W-Where is it? Where is it?!"

"Hoo!" Owlbert said in surprise. She looked up at him. He looked at her with wide eyes, then frantically ran, flapping his wings as he went.

"Trash thief!" He heard the girl shout as he hopped away. She ran after him, but stopped when she saw the rickety house. Owlbert finally got the strength to fly into the house.

A flash of light.

Owlbert came hopping out of the portal, making his getaway to Eda.

"Finally! You're back!" said the witch as Owlbert appeared in front of her. "Now let's see what we've got here." Owlbert flew back on his staff. Eda twisted him back into place.

"Garbage. Garbage. Garbage." Eda said as she examined various objects and tossed them to the side. She gasped.

"Now this," She paused to put the slinky eyeball glasses she found on. The fake eyes dangled lamely. "This will make me rich!"

"And this," Eda continued, pulling out the teen's book, "This will make good kindling." She held it over a burning candle to prove her point.

"Excuse me! Sorry, it's mine. Thank you!" A flash of a girl shouted, and the book was ripped from Eda's hand before she could process what was going on. She turned around to watch the girl dash to the door portal. Then she saw her ears.

Human.

Eda gasped. Perfect!

The Owl Lady picked up her key that controlled the door and closed it. "You're not going anywhere."

The girl gasped and ran underneath the tent. Well, that was stupid. Dead end for her.

Eda casually walked out to see the girl scream and smack down a tooth faerie.

"Where am I? Did I die?" The girl asked herself, scared to death. "Am I in the bad place?"

Eda held back a laugh. She put a hand on the girl's shoulder. The terrified teen looked up. "You wish." said Eda.

Eda dragged the girl back to her stand and tossed her down on a stool to examine her.

"I'm so sorry! I just wanted my book! If you're going to eat my skin, just do it quick. Just do it now!" The girl held out her arm and braced herself.

"Eat you?" asked Eda. "Why would I eat a potential customer?" The girl opened her eyes in confusion at the sign the lady gestured to: Human Collectibles.

"Can I offer you a human foot filled with holes? Carved green human candy? Oh! How about this black shadow box that reflects only sadness?" Eda hopefully displayed each item for the human to see, ending with her holding the shadow box in her face. The teen girl smiled and laughed. Eda stared at her.

"That's not all it can do." The girl took the box from Eda's hands. "Here, let me see it." She took a couple pieces of human candy, shoved them into the top of the box, then pressed a button. The black shadow reflection illuminated. A tiny human was doing a strange dance in it.

"Wow." Eda marveled.

Within seconds, a huge group of townspeople held hundreds of snails above their heads in front of them. They were all trying to outbid each other. Eda grinned and looked at the girl. "What did you say your name was again?"

"I'm Luz. Luz Noceda."

"Well, Luz," Eda said as she collected the people's money. "That was pretty clever..." She took more snails. "...for a human." She added with a sly smile.

The girl gave her a look. "That's kind of a weird thing for another human to say."

Eda tried her hardest not to laugh again. "Oh, dear child." She yanked off her green head scarf, revealing her pointed ears with big, golden studs in them. "I'm not like you." Then she stood up on the table dramatically, now ignoring the crowd below her. First impressions were everything - why not jazz up her own?

"I'm Eda the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles!"

"A witch?" Luz gasped in awe. Eda continued.

"I am a respectable, feared-"

"Busted." A voice interrupted. A large fist came down and smashed the shadow box. The crowd ran away, screaming in fear. Eda hopped down off the table.

"Eda the Owl Lady." The guard growled and held up the oh-too-familiar wanted poster. "You are wanted for misuse of magic and demonic misdemeanors."

Sheesh. One heist with King and they print him all over town on her wanted posters. Sorry, buddy.

Luz muttered something from her hiding spot behind the table that Eda didn't hear.

"You are hereby ordered to come with me to the conformitorium." The guard grabbed Eda's arm. She immediately yanked it away.

"Would you guys quit following me around? I haven't done squat." She said, crossing her arms.

"And you're coming too!" The guard yanked Luz up off the ground by her hood. She yelped. "For fraternizing with a criminal!"

"Wh-What?! That's not cool!" Luz shouted in panic.

Eda rolled her eyes. Looks like she'd be getting her run in for today.

"Alright, alright. You win." She told the guard. "Just let me get my stuff." Eda grabbed her palisman staff and whacked him in the head as hard as she could. He and Luz fell to the ground. Eda jumped back up on the table and brushed herself off. She collected her things and put it all in her green sack. Tying it to her staff, she started to run.

"Follow me, human!" She shouted over her shoulder.

"This is crazy!" Luz shouted, running next to Eda. "If I die here, my mom will kill me!"

What? This human made no sense.

"Ha! I won't let them hurt you. A human like you is much more valuable to me alive than dead." Eda responded with a wicked grin. King was going to be so excited!

"Wait - what's that supposed to m-"

"Whoo!" Eda exclaimed, interrupting Luz and pulling her up onto the staff with her. They flew away in a gust of wind.

---

They landed the staff. Eda got off first, making her closing statement about giraffes being freaks. She shuddered at the thought o them. Luz screamed, causing Eda to turn around in surprise. She saw her hand still on the staff. Oh.

"Oops. That happens sometimes." She muttered and put it back on her arm.

"Welp! I've had about enough adventure for today. This is clearly not the PG fantasy world I always dreamed about. So, can you help me get back home?" Eda put her staff on Luz's shoulder, startling her again. "Only if you help me, first!" Eda said excitedly, then laughed and snorted. "Ah, now come along, human."

They went inside after Eda finally got Hooty to shut up and let them pass.

"Welcome to the Owl House." Eda said, snapping her fingers. All of the lights came on. Luz looked around in astonishment.

---

King was taking his relaxing bubble bath and trying to forget Eda's betrayal. She didn't seem to care at all that that the source of all his power was gone! Only about her stupid shop and all those stupid human th-

"Where I hide away from all the pressures of modern life." He heard Eda's voice ring out in the living room. He hadn't realized she'd come in. "Also the cops. And also ex-boyfriends. Ha!" Why was she talking to herself? King got out of the tub.

"This place is beautiful!" King froze. Who was that?! Eda never said anything about guests! "Do you live here alone?"

Alone?! Who do they think they are! He'd show that voice. He scrambled to put his baby blue ducky towel around him and his skull back on his head. He placed the other matching towel on top of his horns and grabbed Mr. Ducky.

"Oh! Almost forgot!" King lifted the red collar that Eda gave him as a welcome gift and put it around his neck. The gold tag swung side to side as he stormed out of the bathroom.

"Actually, I have a roommate." He heard Eda say. King stomped his way down the stairs and through the hall. Prepared to be terrified, guest you.

"Who dares intrude upon I, the King of Demons?!" King shouted, holding Mr. Ducky up. He squeaked twice in agreement.

King looked upon the guest. It was some teenage girl thing. He didn't like her. He and Mr. Ducky angrily glared at her. She gasped.

Ha! Finally, some respect!

Then she shouted in some strange language and grabbed him, knocking his towels and Mr. Ducky on the floor.

Ahh!!! No respect, no respect!!

She had him in a choke-hold! She was squeezing the life out of him! The villain!!

"Eda! He's sooo cute!" The girl squealed in his ear. Can't. Breathe. She gasped again and turned him to look at her. "Who's a little guy? Who's a widdle guy?!"

King didn't know what to do. He looked at her with panicked eyes. Who was she?! How was he supposed to know who her little guy was?!

"Is he you? Is he you?!" She squealed and squeezed him tight again. King struggled to get free of her grasp.

"No! I don't know who your little guy is!" He tried to pushed her face away from him. "Eda! Who is this monster?!"

Eda pulled the girl off of him. She continued to make grabs for King. "Oh, this is Luz the Human." She set the teen down. "She's here to help us with our little... situation." She said, giving King a look.

Wait... A human. That means-

"Oh. Hooray!" King shouted in spite of himself. He was finally going to get his crown back! Eda did care after all...

"Wait, wait, wait!" Luz objected. "I don't like the sound of this 'situation'."

"Just... let me explain." Eda said, then conjured up an image spell. Yay! King loved pictures stories. Especially ones about him.

Luz picked him up and squeezed him again. What was this girl's obsession with trying to kill him?! Eda told Luz the story of his stolen crown and King finally broke free of Luz's hold.

"If you help us get his crown, we'll send you back to your realm." King liked the sound of that. "So whaddya say? Plus," Eda picked King up off of the ground and squeezed his face. Great. Again?! "Who could say no to this cute face?"

"No!" King screamed. "Please don't encourage her!" Eda dropped him on the ground, making him yelp in surprise. "I mean, we're kind of your only way home." She looked at Luz seriously.

"So I don't really have a choice, do I?" Luz responded warily.

"Nope! Now you've got no time to lose." She said, grabbing Luz and walking to the door.

King looked down and picked up his rubber duck off the ground.

"Soon, Mr. Ducky. We will drink the fear of those who mocked us!" He declared, then ran after Eda and Luz.