《Alice/Zero》In Part for the Bird

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It was nothing short of nearly absolute magnificence. This girl, this living & breathing epitome of perfect beauty--Alice got chills simply looking at her. A cascade of shimmering brown hair tumbled over her shoulders, her emerald dress sparkling with more radiance than the stars that had left after-spots in Alice’s line of vision. The girl’s skin was purer and cleaner than anything else Alice had ever attempted to imagine, each pore seemingly free of any unease or lack of symmetry. She was a creature nearly too beautiful for words.

And yet, looking to Alice with a smile suggesting a satisfaction (almost a salvation) finally obtained after an entire lifetime’s worth or searching, she still had words.

“You. You made this happen…you brought this here for me.”

The girl began to approach Alice, who found herself shuddering with excitement but relaxing the moment the girl put one gentle hand on her cheek and another on her waist, dragging her fingers slowly with a comforting consolation and looking honestly into her eyes. The girl’s own glowed with a twinkling milky chocolate tint that started an even deeper hunger in the pit of Alice’s stomach, one that seemed to crawl all the way to her heart.

“Thank--”

“Yoo-hoo! You! Who?”

Snapping her head in the direction of the unpleasantly grounding voice, Alice caught sight of the vest-wearing crow bird that had previously made his pulpit in her ear. He was far more sizeable than she would’ve guessed, hopping about and stirring up a great deal of black feathers with every over-eager hop that he made, trying fruitlessly to reach the sky and not thinking a thing of it.

“Oi! I say, madam, have you no words for the imaginary?”

Doing her best to ignore the uselessly lunging crow, Alice turned back to face her glorious companion. Sadly, in the time that Alice had looked away, the girl had undergone a considerable change. She looked wrought with stresses & troubles now, dressed in the sickly black of a mourner that set a heavy shadow against the rising sun. Her hair had turned deeply morose & reflectively ebony, her eyes now as empty as two holes. Still, something in her expression seemed reassuring to Alice, as though this was only temporary. As Alice blinked out of surprised disappointment, the girl appeared to vanish entirely--but not before leaving a small object in Alice’s pocket what looked like the trace of an ‘i’ with a small curve at the bottom, a character that seemed to compliment the character of the girl herself.

“Gah, ‘sen’t matter at the moment! You, who, who?”

Alice began to feel an outright resurfacing of her prior frustration with the once-caterpillar. “If you want to know who I am, you’d best--”

The crow cawed a ludicrous series of cough-like laughs. “My gumdrop, I needn’t know who you are! S’just one of those inquires guaranteed to get your attention; proven fact, you know! No, I’m content with knowing just what you are!”

“Human?” Alice replied with a hint of sarcasm.

“’Ould never have crossed m’mind!” the crow continued loudly, slapping a feathery wing (or, as Alice thought, a desperately underdeveloped excuse for a wing) on Alice’s back. “Nah, you, my gumdrop, have taken time into your hands and given us one hereby-and-by, yessir! That was our cleanest trial by far, far enough even from your number on the Imaginary! You are hereby the Chairman of the Board of Vice Presidents of Standing Affairs!”

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The whole phrase sounded too long to Alice to be regal. “And of what importance is that, exactly?”

“S’of all the importance you can manage!” the crow cackled. “Come! S’time to begin the next phase of the gathering! We want to make as much progress as we can before the century turns ‘self around, you hear?”

A spark of realization went off in Alice as the crow began to tug her along. “I don’t suppose this would have anything to do with the ‘wedding of the century?’”

“Only so!” replied the crow. “And please, my gumdrop, call me Dowe! Flows better with the rhyme, y’know?”

Alice sighed, considering that she could do very little to escape this bird no matter what size she was. Glancing over her shoulder as the hardly-winged creature dragged her along, Alice caught sight of a puddle that she hadn’t seen in the area before. Granted, this puddle wasn’t like any puddle she’d ever seen before, not even in a series of days & nights. The water glowed with all the glorious orange of early morning and serene twilight. The whole sky around it seemed to be perpetually lit with the same inviting and reassuring shine. Alice reached out her free hand, wanting to just touch the water, to taste it and quench the sudden thirst that had swirled in against her hunger. She didn’t know how long she stared at the puddle, but by the time she turned around again, she was out of the woods and in an entirely different expanse all together.

There were two grand buildings facing each other, almost suggesting that there ought to be a hallway in between them. To the right was a tall and confidently decorated church; the house reached for the sky with pointed towers worthy of a palace. In the center of the arch that held a doorway was a tantalizing mosaic that sent Alice’s eyes spinning like a kaleidoscope. The door was a rich crimson, an incredibly curious color that seemed to draw everything in as though everything that came out was a beautiful song. To the left was a long and unassuming courthouse; the office spread in a number of directions, covering as much as it pleased but hardly an inch more. Its doors were wide and faded brown, a relic of whatever law stood here stood for. Alice yearned for the church and its mosaic (which had become a sort of eye to Alice, an eye that observed her soul in a disapproving yet encouraging light), but Dowe the crow pulled her in the other direction.

“S’shame, y’know? Here I go looking for suitable chairmen, but not one can support himself! You, my gumdrop, are the first in so long to take part in your own title, to claim your chair as your throne!”

“Beg pardon?” Alice said, her hand still longingly outstretched.

“Gah, ‘ave’you been attenti-ti-ti-tive?” Dowe stammered with an embarrassed rush. “S’important, important that we cover all the bases before the wedding of the century! We haven’t all the time in the--specs!”

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Following his sudden bursting of dissatisfied squawking, Alice noticed a shiny object fly out of Dowe’s vest pocket and into her open outstretched hand. It looked like a coin, but it felt considerably heavier, as though it was a solid piece of flattened stone. She began to inspect it further, but the crow’s caws called her to attention as the pair now stood in front of the courthouse. Do stared Alice down with self-righteous authority.

“The last time I let ol’ specs in here, he hadn’t a fee! He made a fool of me and my charity!”

“The white rab--hare?” Alice asked, closing her hand around the coin while trying to think of suitable alternatives for rabbit (much to her nagging displeasure).

“Not everything is black and white, my gumdrop,” Do replied sternly. “Sometimes, everything is all black or all white!” He suddenly grinned at Alice. “And you seem to be well aware of this! Why, you’re jus’s’perfect as I observed! Still, that does not exempt you from your fee!”

He expectantly opened one of his wings. Alice smiled to herself and opened her own hand. “Maybe this will do.”

Dowe’s eyes gleamed as he snatched the coin out of Alice’s hand. “By jovelry, you’re going perfect on all pillars! You’re the future of the tail end, my gumdrop! I should let you in first--no, wait, no I shouldn’t.”

“Come again?” Alice replied.

“See,” Dowe said, clearing his throat, “I am the most impartial creature that has ever been considered in the circle of partial’ty. I’m far off, far above any other’s guidance or reprieve! I hold no author’ty in any decision, which makes me the greatest decision maker of all unmade decisions! I cannot be held accountable because I hold all accounts equally!”

“That hardly qualifies--” Alice began, but Dowe went right on squawking.

“Truly, truly, I leave all up to a most natural will!” The crow raised his stubby wing triumphantly, balancing the coin with perfectly precision. As the rising sun beamed down and illuminated the coin, causing a series of sparkling trails to be drawn along Alice’s line of vision, the crow flicked his wing and eagerly watched the coin fall. It landed with a sharp echo on the courthouse steps, depicting a tail that curved with the same rigid acuteness as the courthouse.

“After me,” the crow grinned, scooping up the coin and slinking his way into the courthouse.

“That’s…being impartial?” Alice wondered aloud, cocking her head.

“Why, perfectly so!” Dowe replied gleefully. “Don’t you know, my gumdrop? The only way to be perfectly impartial is to let something else be partial for you!”

Alice shook her head and began to move forward, pondering just how impossible it was to reason with any of the creatures she had encountered thus far--any of the creatures, that is, except the mysterious girl. Alice wondered with such longing where the girl had gotten to and if they would ever see each other again. The girl had such kindness in her eyes, a kindness that seemed familiar to Alice and yet all the more genuine given the girl’s indescribable beauty. As her thoughts danced lovingly around, Alice suddenly remembered the girl’s fingers at her waist, tracing back to the same spot with such anticipation.

Alice found her anticipation turn to something more alarming as she felt a tear in her dress, a tear along her pocket that was too perfectly drawn out to be accidental. ‘Oh, good heavens!’ she thought. ‘This was a good dress, a new and freshly washed one! Why can’t I take care of anything that matters to me? I’m always being dragged along by one thing or another; it’s too easy to get lost in the mix of things and lose sight of what matters! Maybe I’ll be able to find someone sensible enough to mend this tear in the courthouse. After all, lawmen are supposed to be sensible…but then, if this world is so insensible, what are the lawmen really like?’

The cloud of thoughts was rudely interrupted as Alice bumped face-first into the faded courthouse door. She pushed and pulled at the knob with no success. She knocked on the door, waited, and then pounded on the door with great urgency. Not a movement nor a sound was seen or heard. The door seemed absolutely locked.

“What a useless bird!” Alice moaned, sagging against the door in defeat.

“You are useless,” a familiar voice called out, “but only because you type yourself as a bird! There’s no compatibil’ty! If you want to make your way in, you must include your own road, your own stream to sail on! We all have one, c’est la vie! You see?”

“C!” Alice perked up, catching sight of the chatty curved creature.

“’Twas a real conundrum,” C continued, happily rolling towards Alice, “you setting your bounds to such high values until you were able to consume the Lune! The tides were yours to control, and you used them to bring me back here after so long! For this gesture of the utmost demanding serv’tude, I am thoroughly thankful, you see?”

Alice threw her arms around C’s thin body. “For now, I certainly believe what I see.”

C wiggled around Alice until he was perched on her shoulders. “Onward, companion! If we can’t get in here, we’ll brutishly force our way around! ‘Tis a laborious but s’tuationally successful solution, you see?”

Not giving much thought to C’s rambling and a great deal more to his presence, Alice began a curiously informative walk around the courthouse.

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