Remember that he is the consummate salesman. It is his job to believe what he is selling you even as he makes it up. Then he counts on his boundless energy and determination to deliver what he has promised, however unrealistic it may be. If he doesn’t deliver, then the burden is on you for misunderstanding what he had promised.. – Felicity’s handwritten note to Briel about Brendon, tucked into Nessa’s bag, March 31

“We are not defined by where we are from, but by whom we love.” – Quote from movie watched by Felicity with her children. March 3.

Afternoon, March 31

“We'll drop you off at the edge of town. You still have Jase's GPS, so you can use it to help you find your way. We’re going to have to make it believable that you have been wandering in the forest for several hours.” Apparently, Briel or her partner had grabbed Jase’s backpack from the train.

Felicity played with the thumb drive that rested in her pocket, her insurance policy if Briel and her crew failed to free Jase or Felicity. Though she listened to Nessa’s explanation, Felicity only took in half of it. Who cared about a little dirt going up against what loomed before her?

After the SUV came to a stop in a small clearing a few hundred feet from the road, a man planted himself in front of Felicity and began sporadically swiping dirt onto various places on her body. He sprinkled some in her hair and matted it down.

“Is this seriously necessary?” Felicity sighed, irritated.

“The more realistic your cover, the more time we will have to get what we need and get you out. You fell asleep behind a gazebo at 100 Mountain Avenue. Don't give him the address – he doesn't need the particulars. He'll be suspicious if you know trivial facts. We just want you to be able to provide a story if you need to. It's about half a block from the intersection with Park Avenue. That would be a natural location for you to end up if you were trying to find the cabin.”

Nessa pulled out the backpack she had brought with her. “Here's the GPS. You're here. Your cabin is over here. See? It’s marked. We will be watching you from a distance.”

Felicity did not respond. Without looking behind her, she began the march to the cabin.

For the first portion of the trek, Felicity observed her surroundings, praying that she could find a way to escape and get back to her kids. It was lunacy for her to go through with this while she had three children who would need her. If she failed, Brendon would never be found out, and he would have full reign over the kids. The occasional slip of a step or crackle of a branch confirmed for Felicity that she would not have much success with the idea. Briel’s group had Felicity firmly in check.

Her deja vu disoriented her. The familiar filtered light cast lace shadows on the ground in front of her. As she ran through the trees, she tried to prepare herself to face Brendon. Since the last time she had seen him, so many things had changed, especially her opinion of him. She needed to consolidate her thoughts before his presence rattled her emotions, a fact which irritated her to no end. If she’d had her way, she would have been able to process coolly whether with him or not, but instead, cowardly Inner-Felicity turned her into a pathetic mush pot of a human.

When her foot stepped onto the pebbled drive, she halted her forward progress, darting aside into some brush for concealment. It may not last, but she needed the two halves of herself to stay cohesive for the next few hours. Glancing down at her hand, she noticed the ring that still banded the fourth finger of her left hand. She had intended to take it off after her trek to the Henry’s, but Jase’s sudden appearance had distracted her.

Well, now that she would face her husband again, the man who had thrown her away – if she were to pretend to trust him or to appeal to him – she would make one very clear statement to herself. With the cabin in sight, where the illusion of her marriage had unraveled, she slid her wedding ring off of her finger. She glanced quickly around her and spotted a sturdy twig, and stabbing it into the ground, she jostled it side to side until she had created a small crater a few inches deep. Into the crater, she dropped the plain gold band before sliding the soil back to its spot and covering the ring.

This is what you wanted, Brendon Miller, and this is what I give you. You have done with me, and now I have done with you. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. If she could have burned the band, she would have done so. Whatever Jase had accomplished in the past couple of weeks, he had helped her see that her life with Brendon was dead, but that her own life would go on. Though the realization released her, it left her weak with spent emotion.

She could not falter, though. If everything worked out okay, she could go cower to her heart’s content, back in the safety of her home. If everything crashed, she would probably retreat to her inner sanctum for a long time – or forever. Reaching into her pocket, she reassured herself by rubbing her fingers over her insurance policy. Maybe the professionals would execute everything perfectly, and maybe they wouldn’t. But Felicity was prepared to do what she needed

Despite herself, Felicity's mind flashed to the cold seclusion of the stone passageway. She remembered Jase's warm breath as he leaned in to kiss her, how alive she had felt. The idea of Jase, trapped in that house, pained her. Almost enough to make her want to go forward despite her fear.

Briel had warned her that she would need to enter the property from the northwest. If she had hiked from Mountain Avenue, her trajectory would have taken her there. Most likely Brendon wouldn’t notice a discrepancy, but Bill’s men very well might.

Rather than creep up to the house nervously, which her caution told her to do, Felicity stumbled into the clearing as if fleeing from a battle. She called Brendon's name, timidly at first, fearing that he would hear her and come outside, but knowing that was exactly what needed to happen. Only silence replied. From a distance, she could hear the various twitterings and buzzings of the woodland creatures that inhabited the forest, but she felt as if a barrier separated her from their song. Utter, lonely silence.

Felicity stepped nervously behind one of the front pillars, daring to peer in the front window. Inside, she could make out the empty dining room, and beyond that, the profile of two men in the living room. Instead of drawing attention to herself, as Nessa had instructed her, Felicity eased across the porch to the side of the house, squinting through the slits of the blinds into one of the secondary bedrooms. Only darkness. Stepping down from the porch, she glided around the side of the house to another window and immediately recognized Brendon’s muffled voice. Pressing her ear to the glass, she strained to hear what he was saying.

“She will be here soon, and you can prove to Bill whether what you say is true.”

For several seconds, Felicity could only make out a low muttering, but then she heard it. Jase’s voice.

“…hasn’t left town,” Jase was saying. “I told you she would call, and she called.”

The two men’s voices, in conference, resurrected every suspicion Felicity had held from the moment Jase had lain her in the car all those weeks before. She had felt such elation at the sound of Jase’s voice, alive and seemingly unhurt, but his words took away all her joy.

Jase and Brendon? Talking about Felicity? Jase informing for Brendon? Though her insides churned, the raw wound of recent betrayal raked with renewed injury, Jase, too? She had misjudged Jase? She was an utter failure! How could she ever trust anyone again? Brendon, Briel, Jase – I need to make sure not to trust Nessa. Felicity was developing an abysmal track record.

“Which makes it even more suspect,” Brendon’s voice brought her back, and Felicity had to wind back to remember that they were speaking of her earlier call.

“No, it means that I intended this. I found out that she doesn’t have anything from the computers, she doesn’t know anything, and she’s not a danger.”

With the words, Felicity’s breath evened out. Maybe – just maybe – not betrayal. If he was covering for her, as his words implied, he had handed her a lifeline.

“I convinced her that you had no idea what Bill was doing with her. You thought they were taking her to the hospital. You don’t have anything to fear from her except her hurt feelings over the affair. Since you’re the person she has looked to for direction all these years, I’m sure that’s why she called you now.”

Snuffing out her remaining anger with a deep breath, Felicity processed Jase’s words. She told herself that he was not only a captive, but a trained operative of some sort. Of course it was possible that he was just trying to save his own skin, but that didn’t exactly gel with the words. It almost sounded as if Jase wanted Brendon to believe that Felicity was harmless. Of course, if that were the case, it would change her game plan significantly.

“Felicity?” the low voice behind her demanded, and Felicity felt a rugged hand pressed across her mouth. Her heart pounded with fear at the man’s unexpected appearance, but her mind quickly offered an explanation that calmed her emotions as he let her go. She recognized him – Adam – and he was one of Briel’s. Felicity had gone off plan, and the man was there to get her back on it.

“You need to knock on the western window into the kitchen. Briel needs the security focused there. I didn’t forget, she countered silently. Aloud, she just acquiesced. “My mistake. I’ll go there now.”

It didn’t matter. She had gotten lots of helpful information, the most important being that she had a role to play according to Jase’s version of events. And a lot of it would just involve what she had been doing for the past fifteen years anyway – stroking Brendon’s ego.

As she hiked to the opposite side of the house, her heart rate steadily climbed. She was definitely walking a tight rope; falling off on either side would prove catastrophic. Still, if she had to fall to one side or the other, she knew Briel’s group had some form of a conscience – they wouldn’t sell her into slavery, at least. Felicity, though, would at least try to manage a third option, one where she didn’t die or end up a slave or turn into a pawn in someone else’s maneuver. One where she got Jase to safety and got back to her kids in one piece.

Felicity knocked on the glass.

One of the men she had seen through the front window snapped to attention, spinning to assess the noise. When he saw her, he barked a command, and people whipped into action. A moment later, an armed guard of some sort stepped around the edge of the house, and Felicity put on her best look of distress.

“Mrs. Miller,” the man offered politely. “Mr. Miller is waiting for you inside.”

Once he showed her through the door and she saw Brendon’s face, she didn’t have to pretend anymore – genuine distress blossomed in her chest. With a deep breath, she dispelled most of it. Glancing around, she noted with relief that Aimée had not made an appearance. At least I don’t have to fake connection with Brendon with her around.

“Brendon!” she gushed, stepping toward him with measured steps. When no one interfered, she moved more rapidly, into his arms.

After a brief embrace, he moved away from her, skeptically studying her face. “Where have you been?” he wondered, delicately touching the dirt smudges on her face.

“There’s so much…” she buried her face in her hands, formulating her story carefully.

“Just start from the beginning,” he urged before supplying her with the story he wanted her to believe. “You passed out at the party. You were upset with me and drank too much. Bill had his men drive you to the hospital.”

He was literally so incredibly gifted. If she had not had the memory of the pebbled missiles embedded into her mind, she might have doubted her own version of the story.

I was upset with him? Like he had said something impolite instead of having me kidnapped? Bastard!

“I remember being laid into the car,” she stared at the floor, working her imagination rather than her memory. “I don’t really remember anything after that until I woke up in the passenger seat of that guy from your work, Jase?”

“You woke up there?”

“I mean, I vaguely remember a pickup truck? I was somewhere in the US. It looked kind of like Arizona, but I didn’t recognize it. And I wasn’t very aware for a while. Like I had been drugged or something.” She stared up at him as pathetically as she could manage.

“How did you get back here?”

“It was that guy, Jase. First thing I remember clearly was sitting in his car as he drove me back to a little cabin near here. I was in and out the whole car ride, like I was in a chemical haze, and I didn’t protest because my addled mind thought he was going to bring me back to you. Instead, though, he took me to the middle of the woods and I didn’t see anyone for days. There was food and basic necessities at this place, but I didn’t know how to escape. I played along with the guy to stay safe, but I grew impatient to get back to the kids. When that Jase guy left his little house yesterday, I climbed out a window and headed here. I just hoped there wouldn’t be anyone else here with you when I got here…”

When she looked up at Brendon, his features wore a mixed expression. Pleasure at her compliments, no doubt. But even a hint at his indiscretion raised his hackles. Felicity bit her lip and said nothing.

When he reached out for her, she did not pull away. She had never experienced such a schism inside her body: not when she had felt the disorientation from the drug, not when she had retreated inside herself. All of the things that were supposed to feel amazing – the grip of his arms on her skin, the heat of his body, the pressure of the embrace – rather than stir her to any form of ecstasy, they erupted revulsion within her. She had to squeeze every muscle in her body to stay in place.

“Someone, get her a drink,” Brendon commanded, gently pushing her away. “Felicity, I think you should go lie down in our room. You look like you have traveled through a hurricane.”

“Who are all these people, Brendon?” Felicity queried, as if confused by their presence.

A slight hiccup in his thought wrinkled his brow, but he recovered quickly, as he always did when lying. “After you disappeared, Bill decided that someone had targeted me. Why else would someone kidnap my wife? So, he hired guards to stay with me.”

“They certainly seem to know who’s boss,” she quipped, and Brendon glanced askance at her. “You’re so adept at taking charge when you need to.”

Mollified, Brendon turned to take the drink from one of his goons.

Felicity wondered at how easily he could be manipulated – it actually frightened her. Never did she want to resemble him in any way, and manipulation was his forte. Even if she could justify it, she would not do that again.

When one of the men approached her, Felicity looked to Brendon for direction. The act came so easily to her it made her sick. Brendon nodded, and she took the drink and turned to leave.

“Did you call the police? Don’t they want to talk to me?” She was interested to see how he reacted.

Without missing a beat, Brendon supplied the lie. Probably a partial truth at least. “This is bigger than police. Bill has contacts in the government that helped look for you. Did you go to the police?”

She was surprised when the lie rolled off her tongue with similar ease. “I was in a daze for a while, and then Jase didn’t want me to call the police. I didn’t have a phone, so I didn’t think I had much choice in the matter.” Partial truths, just like Brendon.

Breathing deeply, she followed the man out of the room. When would Briel and her crew arrive? Felicity wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

When she walked into the room, her stomach dropped. There were several of her items still on the bedside table, but there were also a bottle of woman’s perfume, a sleep mask, and a folded woman’s robe. To her surprise, Felicity didn’t retreat inside herself. She just felt an inexplicable pity for the woman. Don’t be naïve,” she reprimanded herself. The woman is an adult and knew what she was getting into.

She had noticed the man take up position by her door, and she knew she would not be able to get out until Briel did something. After twenty minutes of staring at the door waiting for it to open, she stood to her feet and began an investigation of the room. If she didn't find some way to occupy her mind, she would go crazy.

Though there were a few other items that obviously belonged to Aimée, most of the room looked identical to Felicity's time there. Is it really that easy to swap me out for someone else? The idea haunted her. Standing in the middle of the room, she suddenly felt flimsy - insubstantial. Part of her just wanted to disappear. Before she could withdraw again, though, she notice her carryon case where its corner protruded from under a desk.

She tugged it out, pushing aside her sweater and first-aid kit to reveal the little spiral notebook she kept there. For the first time in several days, her heart swelled with longing for her children. The little book held some of her greatest treasures. A few years past, she had started the concept with Alex. Whenever either Alex or Felicity wanted to say something nice to the other, she would write or draw a message in the little book. Alex had requested that they expand it to include Noah at some point, and even little Michael had added some of his scribbles to the pages.

Flipping through the book, Felicity realized that there now stood a very real possibility that she would not see her children again. It had been true the entire time, but she had not let herself consider it. With their beautiful drawings and sentiments on display before her, Felicity couldn't stand the idea that they would grow up without her. That they would never really know her heart

She pulled open the drawer in both nightstands and found a pen in the second one. Moving back to the desk, she seated herself there and raised the pen.

My Precious Children,

I sit down today to write you a letter because life is unpredictable. We never know from day to day if we will live to take our next breath or see the ones we love one more time. It's easy to forget this because our lives are so full: full of fun, full of activities, full of struggles. But the truth is, man is but a breath. We will all, at one point or another, pass from this realm of life's activities and beyond the reach, temporarily, of those we love the best.

You are so young. You may have seen a sampling of the struggles, but no one can truly comprehend the struggles and sorrows life will bring us, nor the joys and beauties.

When I was young, I had visions of the wonderful things I would do, of the dreams I would achieve, and worlds I would conquer. Never, in my wildest thoughts, did I see what God would choose for me instead. I vaguely thought that I would have some kids, some ethereal, unreal ideal that would somehow bring me fulfillment without interfering with all of my lofty ideas.

If I had known before what lay ahead of me, I might honestly have chosen differently. This life I lead is not the utopian picture I had envisioned. And guess what. If I had chosen differently, I know that when I had arrived in heaven, God would have taken me to His side and given me the little crown I had earned through all of my great deeds.

But I wonder if He might take me aside and let me see the life I had missed, the life with you, my beloved children. I would see these struggles and joys, I would see what I had sacrificed for my insignificant dreams, and I would weep. Because no goal or dream, no matter how grandiose or noble, could possibly compare to one of you children. There is no sacrifice I could have made for the good of humanity that would compare to what I have made or would make for you.

You are beautiful.

You are truly beyond my wildest dreams.

I write this to you now because, although I face death every day that I am alive, as do we all, an event has occurred that increases the likelihood that I might not see your beautiful faces again on this earth.

And though I can offer you nothing that will remove the emptiness that my absence would bring, I hope that I can soften the bitterness that you might feel. We all go through things that we didn't plan on – a lot of them we don't like or think are fair. And we have the choice to either let our bitterness eat at us and consume us, or to cry our bitterness out to God and let Him heal us. You may feel doubt, but continue believing nonetheless, that God is watching over you. I remember that every day, and it gives me hope.

Love forever,

Mom

It had been a long time since she had spent more than a few minutes thinking about her kids – she hadn’t been able to afford that kind of emotion. Now she understood why. Before she had written half the letter, the tears were streaming down her cheeks. She couldn’t think for several minutes, and because her mind had shut off, her fear level rose up the back of her head. Doubling over, she forced herself to breathe.

When her mind took back control, Felicity rose to her feet and paced the room. She strode in a square along the rug at the foot of her bed, but as she neared the door, a sudden terror struck her. The voice of ProtoComm’s CEO muffled through the wood of the door, and Felicity realized that her time was likely nearing its end. Reaching in her pocket, she rubbed the thumb drive reflexively. Maybe she would write down her thoughts to clarify them. Even better, she would thank her brother for the thumb drive. If she survived, it would be largely thanks to him. If she didn't, she owed him an apology. She seated herself back at the desk, poised to stash the book away if she heard the door behind her.

Hi, baby brother.

First of all, let me just start out by admitting to you that it was really stupid of me to refuse your help. You are the only person on the planet I can trust without qualification. Add to that the fact that you are brilliant and literally a giant, and I think I would have been home with my kids by now had I called you.

Secondly, I know we are not big on the emotional stuff, but I want you to know that I adore you. I think you are the best little brother a sister could have. Everyone knows you’re funny and a computer genius, but not everyone knows you have character beyond most humans. You work hard, you care about people, and you are beyond respectable.

I’m praying that I will be seeing you before you see this letter, but it’s kind of just in case. I want you to know I love you and am pulling for you in everything you do.

Help mom and dad take care of my kids, if it comes to that.

I know it’s a copout that I’m not writing our parents, but I couldn’t possibly put everything in a letter for them. Just tell them I am beyond grateful for everything they’ve done, and I’ll see them sooner than anyone else anyway!

Don’t hate me for being an idiot. I love you!

Felicity

Of course, she had no idea how she would get the letter to him, but she felt better having written it. She tore it out, folded it, and put it in her back pocket.

Since no one had disturbed her, Felicity rose and walked to the door, pressing her ear to see if she could hear any signs of Briel’s entrance. Nothing. Felicity began to doubt herself, to wonder if maybe Briel and her crew worked for Bill, too, and the trip to the cabin had all been a ploy to get Felicity back. Stupid, Felicity realized. They would have just bound me and thrown me in the back of a car and taken me to Mexico if they worked for Bill.

Felicity knew it was childish to risk it, but she could not stand to sit still anymore.