Chapter 9

The Planets and Stars Aligned For This

Confessions of a K-Pop Stan Blog Post

Pre-Recordings are Special

My first time seeing GXY perform was everything I wanted it to be and more. Honestly, I couldn't believe I was standing right below Brendan Choi watching him dance, sing, rap, and speak right before me. I couldn't have dreamed of a better performance. The boys were amazing. King fan chance farm all the other Dear Astras around me as I sent them to it was an entirely new experience for me. The first time I saw GXY in concert it was a big event with a lot of other bands and performers. So, when it came time for them to perform there were lots of Dear Astras in the audience but we were pretty scattered so our fan chants weren’t strong enough to resonate around me like this.

Being at a prerecording was every bit as magical as Brendan explained it to me once during a YouTube video where he talked about how much he enjoyed doing pre recordings. Even though my experience is just from an audience standpoint I knew that I was a part of something really special that only fans could really appreciate. The connection that we made with the group the connection that we made to each other as we chanted, it was truly magical. It's an experience that I wish more people could get to experience as well. Because I know that this feeling can't just be mine but it should be shared with all the other Dear Astras around the world.

The prerecording was just a taste of what I experienced in the main show but before that, we left the venue in high spirits, chatting about the performance and we hung out around DMC, shopping, trying out make up, eating and taking pictures with Miss J telling us all about the area and all the other music shows that are done in DMC, there are two other music shows we will go to in this area later this week and next week. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself.

The main show started at 5:00 so the regular attendees must line up outside again and be let in one by one by the groups performing on the show that day. On any given day about 10-12 artist perform on this show. But since we were special attendees, we were let in first and got to be in the front row. Standing there again with the members of GXY looking at me was amazing. They performed their ballad and I watched enraptured by the voices of the boys I love so much.

I was used to GXY performing around the middle of the show. Lesser-known groups and newly debuted groups always performed first but this time, GXY performed in the ladder half of the show. During the title song Moonlight Eyes, the pre-recorded performance played but the boys still came up on stage during the song to prepare for the live performance. They waved and smiled at us, and Bren looked right at me and I felt a jolt of electricity flow through me when our eyes met. I knew then that I would never enjoy watching music shows from home the same way again.

It’s nothing like watching it on tv or my computer. I really felt the vibrations of their voices all around me as they sang. There was also a sense of connection I felt with the members as we did our fanchants and waved our light sticks to the beat. There were little things like the boys smiling at each other when they weren’t singing or the members waving to us in between takes or during their interview. There’s no comparison, this is better.

To no one’s surprise The Xtremes won the trophy for song of the week against the popular girl group Spyder. It was their 7th win overall and their 2nd consecutive win on Music Time. I clapped for them but during the announcement my eyes were on GXY who stood behind The Xtremes, congratulating them. As I watched the Sixes celebrate the win, I wished that one day I could celebrate GXY’s first win here next week.

Getting them that first win is partly our job as Dear Astras. We have to stream the song on music platforms and YouTube, increase their sales and vote like crazy on the websites and apps. The job of a K-Pop stan is to be their for their artist, support them when they promote and lift them up to the world. It’s a job I take seriously and do willingly because GXY has given me nothing but joy these past few years and I would do anything to help them succeed.

See you soon K-pop Stans.

Angel G Out

I posted my blog as soon as we got back to the hotel but before I switched off my computer, I phoned my mum and dad and we talked for about an hour really enjoying just hearing their voices. It was then that it hit me how much I missed them. I missed my dad and I debating over which planets were visible from our home. I missed staying up and using the telescope out back to stare at the stars or watch the planets pass by.

I stared at the screen without blinking after hanging up the phone. No tears came but there was a tightness in my throat I had no idea how to clear. But then I glanced out of the window and an idea came to me. The only thing that worked.

As usual Sunny and Liz hung out in my sitting room. I dashed by them and grabbed my running shoes, bag and fastened on my heart monitor.

‘I’m going for a run, I announced to the girls and they both looked each other before ogling me aghast.

‘But its dark out,’ said Sunny her whipping around to gaze out the window.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll stay near the hotel.’ I said, doing some stretches at the foyer with my shoes on. ‘The building is so massive I can’t possibly get lost cause I can see it far from away. Hell its so massive I could see it from our airplane windows.’

‘Yeah, but why not just run downstairs on the treadmill in the gym,’ Liz suggested. ‘Its lovely down there, they even have a swimming pool.’

Cause I can’t see the stars is what I thought but ended up saying ‘It’s not the same.’

I was out the door before they could object any further. Running on a treadmill wouldn’t give me the same rush as running outside does. The location might be different but its still the same sky above me as back home in Cardiff.

As I ran through the dark streets of Gangnam with the massive hotel on one side of me and the Han river on the other, I felt no fear, just adrenaline flowing through me and the wind passing through my curls. Every now and then I’d pass another jogger, some with ear buds, other with heart monitors like me and it felt so good. These were my people. I don’t know how long I ran for to be honest, but the Troy Hotel was still in view behind the smaller buildings. I stopped to take a swig of water and looked around.

And to my astonishment on my right was the Seoul Science Museum and Observatory, the same observatory where my father’s work was on display. It was massive with the dome of the observatory on the far left. I could see the line in the opening where the telescope would be, and I knew I couldn’t waste this opportunity. Thanks in large part I think to me memorizing the directions, I’d run over a kilometre and a half right to it without consciously meaning to.

Without looking at the time, I dried off with a towel from my bag, redid my ponytail and went right through the glass double doors. A busy receptionist greeted me cordially in Korean then paused when she actually registered me.

‘Good evening,’ I said in Korean. ‘Are you still open?’

‘Only for another 30 minutes, you should comeback tomorrow,’ said the woman frowning slightly and taking in my running kit. I was avoiding her gaze in embarrassment when my eye was caught by a life size cut out of my own father right by the lift doors. I smiled up at it, seeing his small dimple in the corner of his mouth. It’s the same dimple in the corner of my mouth and a lump formed in my throat.

‘Ah you’re here to see Dr. Blackwood’s exhibit,’ said the receptionist brightly in perfect English, leaning over the high desk to see what I was looking at.

‘Yes, he’s my father,’ I said pride swelling up inside me, my eyes still on the cut out.

‘Oh my gosh, please stay as long as you like, Dr. Blackwood’s exhibit is on the 2nd floor,’ she said kindly. ‘Your father phone ahead to say you might visit.’

Oh dad

Too overwhelmed to say anything else, I just nodded and took the elevator to the next floor up. Up there was wall to wall illustrations and mock ups of my father’s work and next to his model of the Universe was a biography of him complete with a picture of my family. My mum and dad next to each other with their hands on me and my brother’s shoulders taken some 3 years ago.

‘Did you have to use this photo?’ I said out loud cringing at my own bunches but then I heard a sound behind me and immediately clutched at my bag ready to use it as a weapon. No one had come through the elevator and the place looked empty when I came in. But I distinctly felt the presence of another. It didn’t help that the room was filled with huge displays and tall glass cases that were easy to hide behind.

Heart beating fast, my grip tightened on my bag and I crept slowly around the different display cases, inching closer to source of the noise I heard. Just as I was rounding the corner a dark figure ducked out in front of me and I jumped back and screamed ready to whack him with my bag.

‘Hey, hey, calm down,’ said the figure as he straightened up and put his hands out in front of him protectively.

‘Sorry, I thought you were…sorry.’ I said lowering my bag but then I froze when I felt a familiar tingle down my spine to the sound of this person’s voice. I’d been mere metres away from him only hours ago. He wasn’t wearing a mask and a bucket hat then, but his voice was so distinct I knew I hadn’t imagined it. I looked right up into the hazel eyed and wavy-haired Brendan Choi with my mouth open and his eyes narrowing in my direction.