Inside the bathroom, the hot water felt good over my tense body. My shower made me think of children splashing in the rain, a carefree feeling with no sense of time. Sometime later, I dressed in slinky PJs. I flicked the light off in my room and sat on the edge of the bed, unwrapped my hair from the towel and set it aside. Within seconds, the darkness inside my bedroom was replaced with brilliant golden light.

A million and one questions were buzzing through my brain. Infected vampire and Yasu, who seemed familiar and I felt drawn towards for reasons unknown to me, where few things hurting my head. I moved to the centre of my bed and hung my head over the edge, allowing my hair to brush the carpet while I think more. What was happening at the Institute gave me the same feeling I got after watching the 1988 Child’s Play move as a child. Immense fear.

A long, rustling shirk-sruuffshh sound from outside my window caused me to sit up and reached for my robe, which was on a chair next to the bed. I placed the damp towel over my hair, minimising the light in my room. I waited another moment for the strange noise to sound again. In a quick move, I reached to my small bookshelf, snatching the trophy I won for coming first place in track and field on my school sport-day. I held the trophy upside down in my hand, so I could smack any intruder using the base. Each footstep I took soaked silently into the carpet as I crept closer to the window. An odd feeling crept over me.

Another noise came from outside my window. I narrowed my eyes to see a figure coming into view. Swiftly, I stepped forward and yanked down on the shade. It rushed upward with a loud snap. Something screeched. It was one of those starless nights. I stood sideways gazing out, my trophy firm in my hands and positioned like a cricketer ready to strike. I will teach this person a lesson about breaking into someone’s house. As I was about to relax, I saw a hand on the window; I fell backwards and screamed short and low. I drew in a sharp breath and tightened my hands on the trophy when someone pushed open my window. When a head came through the window, I swung the trophy. It knocked against the wall, putting a dent into it. Their hooded face made it impossible to identify.

The intruder had the reflex of a cat. In one swift move, this person was in my room. One of their hands pinned mine against the wall and while the other clamped over my mouth. The trophy slipped through my fingers and landed an inch away from crushing my toes.

“Ji-Hye. Relax. It’s me.”

“Uta!” I blinked in shock. He removed his hand from my mouth.

“You would knock me with a trophy?” He looked pleasantly surprised as he shoved back his hoodie.

“Yeah! You sneak into my bedroom like that and I will knock you across the head with a trophy! Were you trying to scare me to death?”

“Not at all. I came to see how you were doing. I didn’t think you would get this shaken up.”

You didn’t think.

Uta took a seat next to me and removed the towel from my hair. The room returned to its golden light. “I was thinking about you.”

I stretched out on my bed. “You were missing me, huh?”

“What can I say? I desire your company.”

“Wouldn’t know anything about that.”

Laughing, he lay next to me. “Screwed up vampires and company craving… it’s too bad we’ve nothing in common.” He joked and gazed around my room, taking in the golden light. “I am never tired of seeing this. It’s beautiful.”

Whenever I get panicky or overly anxious, anything that put me on edge triggered my glowing hair and ability to get into someone's mind, where I see their past events. My hair was a beautiful shade of gold light and part of my mystique. I had always been this way. It was why my father hated me. Because I was not “normal”. Because he strongly believed I was nothing good.

“My hair, as it is, would scare some people. Freak with a glowing hair.”

Uta grimaced. “I hate hearing you use that word.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t hate it so much if it weren’t true.”

“You’re a mystery—that’s what you’re.”

There were a few things Uta didn’t know about me, like there were things I didn’t know about him. Cutting was one of them. It started after father left. That was when everything kind of hit home. Everything that happened was my fault. Nicole never gave me a reason to believe so, but I knew. She struggled for us to get back to “normal”. I had never known normal since the day I was born. In the beginning, dealing with the aftermath was difficult. Somehow, I made myself think I didn’t need to cut. But I became weak and failed. The cuts were deep and painful, but I found by concentrating on pain and blood dripping down my leg, took away the suffocating pain in my heart.

Uta didn’t know my father tried to kill me. I had a hard-enough time coming to terms with this. It was best he didn’t know. I feared he might not understand my reason to harm myself. Everybody loved Uta. He was well like—unlike his friend Yasu and me. What was the phrase Yasu used? Right. “It’s much more therapeutic than stressing.” Back then, cutting seemed more therapeutic than shedding tears.

I pushed Uta on his back; then I’m on top of him. My wet hair fell on both sides of my face and illuminated him. His eyes were sensuous and radiant like pure diamonds; his body tense beneath me.

“So, you love me, huh?” I asked, staring down at him.

He smiled and tucked a few strands of my hair behind my ear. “I do.” He muttered.

Too quickly, he removed me from on top of him. Now he was hovering over me. I liked when we played like this. It was sexy and carefree. He traced his fingertip alongside my neckline and across my chest.

“It’s amazing.”

“What is?” I asked.

“When you blush, it goes from your cheeks all the way to your neckline. What a delicate and lovely shade.”

If I’m not mistaken, I could’ve sworn I saw him lick his lips.

“Are you all right now?” he asked, staring down at me.

“Yes.”

His eyes were tight. “If that’s the case, then why is your glowing?”

He popped himself next to me. Uta ran his fingers through my damp hair, down my, across my cheek, and on my lips. I relaxed. The golden light disappeared, and the darkness took over my room.

“How about now?”

“You know me… no matter what, I’m always holding it together.”

He pulled my face to his. “You can tell me anything. So, tell me.” His lips moved closer against mine. I wanted to kiss him.

My thoughts were racing and consumed by the touch of his lips. “Are you going to kiss me now?”

Uta’s voice was deep when he answered, “Do you wish for me to?”

“Yes.”

I felt the smile on his lips as it crossed his face. “Not yet, love.”

I sighed, reflecting my disappointment.

“You know… I don’t know what will happen and frankly, I’m too afraid to even consider the outcome.”

He went silent for a while, so silent if it wasn’t for his breathing, I would have thought he was dead.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?”

“I wish you didn’t hear our conversation. It puts you on edge and that…”

He was afraid I would blow my secret if I couldn’t control myself. To think I almost did earlier tonight. Not sure how I keep it concealed. I could imagine Yasu gasping at the sight of my hair. I’m grateful it didn’t get to that point.

“That’s why I’ve you to help me,” I said and yawned.

“Tired?”

“Drained is more like it.”

“I will let you rest then.”

“Are you leaving?” I said a little louder than I meant to. I clung to him.

“I’ve to get back to help Yasu; he’ll not like that I ditched.”

I felt Yasu was lying about us not meeting before tonight.

Uta brushed my lips with his finger and gave me a quick kiss before easing himself from our embrace and off the bed.

“Get some sleep,” he instructed before exiting the way he came.

Maybe if my mind quieted down, I could.

Although I was dog-tired, I knew I would dream again tonight. And I looked forward to it because maybe then, I could discover what it had been trying to tell me these past months.