The pounding sound of footsteps drawing closer echoed in my ears. There were screaming and desperate cries all around and overwhelmed me to a great extent. I did not know how much time had passed, but I couldn’t comprehend what had just happened - what I had done. Had I survived? Yes, surely I had survived, but what had happened to the others, had they really died? No, no… they possibly could not have. I was surrounded by the darkness of the cave.

*whisper* “I knew it, this is just all a dream! urgh...”

A sharp pain ran through my back, and I had chills run through my body as I realized that this was most definitely not a dream. I wished that I could wake up from this nightmare and be comforted by Rosa and Nor, but that would never come to happen no matter how much time continued to pass. At last, I could make out the words people were screaming from just outside the tunnels w-we had dug out.

“Someone shine some light in here!”

“Is there anyone down there?! Please say something!”

“I’ll be heading down there, you guys can follow if you want!”

I heard the echo of their words, but I didn’t even have the strength to respond. I simply sat there like a coward - not moving, not speaking, not helping. What could I do? I was filled with a sense of relief a few moments ago, just happy to be alive, but almost immediately afterward, this gave me an incredible sense of guilt. I was responsible if they had died and I feared my own thoughts. It scared me to no end that I would be happy when several acquaintances and friends had died as a result of my actions. I could no longer think rationally and my thoughts continued to jump all over the place. I felt something shine in the darkness and into my eyes.

“I found a survivor! Hurry up guys, help get ‘im outta here!”

“Hey Sol, where are the others!?”

I looked blankly at the person who was talking to me and realized that it was Nao - one of the only friends Nor could make in the time he had been here. Lifting my hand, I slowly pointed towards the tunnel that was completely caved in and didn’t say a word. He looked like he was in pain, but at the same time, he was angered.

*Under his breath* “Why the hell do we have to suffer through this nonsense!? Just a few more days… just a few more!”

I heard him say something weird but blocked it out because I blamed myself for this situation. I had only tried to save myself, and as a result, everyone else had died. Damnit! Someone quickly came from behind Nao and carried me back up the cave. Looking at myself, I saw that I had suffered some deep cuts here and there, but I had still made it out alive. Then, I had the thought that I should have been the one to still be back there, under all the rubble, unable to move and I would slowly rot away while fearing for my life. Guilt continued to rise within me uncontrollably and I didn’t think it would stop any time soon.

I was carried back in the utmost care and I found it unbearable to be treated like a survivor when all I had done was betray my group’s trust. Thoughts were swirling faster than the wind and I couldn’t distinguish my rational thoughts from those that were irrational. Honestly, I was glad that someone was carrying me because I believe that I would have tried to do something incredibly fucked up if I was given the chance.

I had been carried back to our group's base and I couldn’t see them eye to eye. Rosa and Nor were hurriedly running towards me and they were clearly out of breath. This only fueled my guilt even further. I was overjoyed that they had worried about me, but at the same, I had the feeling that I had done something deeply sinful by embracing them. Rosa looked more ready to cry than ever before, and Nor looked more agitated than he had ever been.

*trembling* “Sol! Are you okay?! Stay still, I’ll check up your body for any injuries”

*softly* “I'm… glad you made it outta there safely… Sol”

The chaos that was ensuing in my mind calmed down after hearing their words of welcome and relief. Whether or not I deserved to be embraced by them was different, but at that moment, I welcomed the two people in my life who had shown me the most love in the time we had been together. For some reason, tears increasingly rolled down my face even though I tried my best to hold it back, and once I started I could not stop. At that moment, I could not think of anything and I just felt the warmth of both Nor and Rosa who had embraced me very tightly.

*crying and whispering* “I’m sorry… I’m sorry”

Perhaps I was saying sorry to Nora and Rosa for worrying them; perhaps it was to the Sho and the other who had likely died; perhaps it was for no one and nothing except for my own conscience. Regardless of what the reason was, I had felt the need to say something. After a moment, Nor quickly apologized and left to help the others dig out the rubble. There was no chance that anyone had survived, but we had a tradition where we made sure to at least respect the bodies of those who passed on before we hid them in secret or were taken away.

*softly* “I’ll be back later. Sol… you should get some rest for today”

I had never seen Nor so weak and defeated as he turned around to head towards the tunnel that had collapsed. Rosa decided that we would go back and get me treated to her utmost ability.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nor’s POV

I heard a scream from the direction of Sol’s group. I didn’t think much about it at first - I simply chalked it up to a newbie getting scared from the mines - but then I heard several screams following the first and felt the hurried footsteps. I could tell it was urgent when I had heard Sol screaming louder than he ever had before. I quickly dropped everything I was doing and ran as fast as these weak legs could carry me to reach the side that Sol was on. What usually took a few minutes felt like hours as I heard the sound of rocks falling at a rapid rate.

“Shit, what’s going on? Sol should be fine, right?”

Along the way, I saw Rosa running towards me and we both began to run towards the direction of Sol’s group.

“Do you know what the fuck is going on?!”

“No, but I hope they’re all ok! Sho was looking out for them and he’s pretty strong so I don’t think anything major should’ve happened”

We figured that because Sho was with Sol, the group as a whole would make it out just fine. After all, he could beat me nine times out of ten if it were a duel of pure strength. Nao was also near Sol's group so they should’ve already gotten things figured out by now.

“Is that Sol being carried?”

“I dunno, but if it is, it means that he’s safe at the very least and that's something to thank the gods for!”

Rosa could spot Sol almost immediately and we picked up the pace and made it over to the person who was carrying him. It turned out it had been Sol, but he had looked beaten up all over his body, especially his back. For the first time, it seemed to me that he looked like a child who was his age. Rosa and I both agreed that children around his age shouldn’t have to experience the cruelties of the world for a few more years, but he had grown up knowing nothing better. Although he may have looked like a child at that moment, it was clear that what he had gone through was horrifying and it showed on his face. Rosa embraced him immediately and I felt the urge to do the same for the first time - and so I did.

Sol continued to cry out, but we didn’t ask any questions and simply embraced him. However, I was signaled by the man who had carried him all the way here and he asked for help back. I decided that I would go with him because I figured my wife could do a much better job at taking care of Sol alone.

*whisper* “I’ll be going to help out the others. Can you take care of Sol?”

*whisper* “That’s what I decided from the moments I set my eyes on him”

I heard her response and left with the man who was waiting for me. After what felt like hours, my heart pounding and blood rushing to my head, we reached the area where the tunnel had collapsed. It was a horrific site where there were dust clouds and rubble everywhere on the ground. There was blood all over the ground from the sharp rocks that resulted from the collapse but it didn’t look like anyone had died; then I spotted Nao. He was helping to remove the rocks from the cave-in from the very front - as one would expect a man like him to do.

*shouting* “Hey Nao, do you need any help?”

He turned around to face me and his face was stricken full of grief. I was confused and was on my way towards him to ask him what was going on. My mind was running through different scenarios that could have gone down while I unsteadily walked towards Nao. I had a sudden realization and my heart began to beat faster and faster. It could not have been true; I didn’t want it to be true. There was no conceivable way that the man who had been able to beat me was unable to escape, even if it was a cave-in.

“whisper* “Nao… don’t tell me…he...”

*shout* “He’s gone Nor… He… Sho is gone Nor. HE’S FUCKING GONE!”

He made a face similar to the one that Sol had made. It was scarring to look at and I realized why Sol looked so broken when he had come to us. Sol had probably been blaming himself for the death of the people he knew. I had many of my friends and teammates die in these dreaded mines, but I was made to quickly get over it because I had many people to protect - there was no time for distractions. However, Sol was just a child who hadn’t even gone through the Ceremony of Adulthood. This world was truly cruel for treating children who deserved to live their younger days in freedom. As these thoughts whirled within me, I began to seethe in anger. Why had god given me, us, such a cruel fate with nothing to be desired. I had already lost one of the most precious beings to this human trash.

Just as I was about to explode, Nao reached out to me with a face that expressed both despair and determination.

*whisper* “I have a plan”