Chapter 59: Values

“Wait…what?! You are gonna tell on us to our parents?!” Harshil erupted after a moment of silence where Aanya bit her lip.

“Seriously, man? Isn’t aunty knowing enough? God knows what she thinks about us now and if my parents were to know…” Cabir shuddered.

“If you are so worried about what your parents are going to do and what my mom thinks then you are obviously ashamed of watching such stuff. Why continue?” Aakash pointed out in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Ugh…” Cabir stumbled, no words coming out of his mouth.

“That’s easy to say for you. Someone who doesn’t even know the meaning of ‘fuck’, I bet you haven’t watched any, have you?” Harshil questioned with a snort.

“That’s hardly important…” Aanya started to say.

“I haven’t.” Aakash replied before she could finish her sentence. “So what? I’m not interested.”

“…and that’s your decision.” Aanya sighed. “I don’t know why are you all so hung up on this. Everyone has the right to decide on their own. Aakash doesn’t care to watch so you two shouldn’t keep pestering him about it. And since these two have heard your warning but don’t really care, you should leave it be too, Aakash.”

“It’s not about whether he wants to watch or not.” Harshil spoke, no trace of a smile on his face at that moment. “I haven’t said it out loud but what I don’t like is if he can tell aunty about it then he can tell our parents too. And he almost flat out just admitted that he would!”

“Dude, look. The elders look at porn as something very bad! That doesn’t mean it is!” Cabir finally got in some words after contemplating for a bit.

“From what I researched on the topic; negative effects seem to abound. And even in general, pornography isn’t something to be encouraged either.”

“And why is that, Aakash?” Aanya sighed.

“Because it’s immoral…” Aakash unconsciously let out a few words which Aanya immediately questioned.

“What? ‘Because it’s immoral?’ How is it immoral?”

“Because it’s…” Aakash trailed off, a frown appearing on his face as he couldn’t seem to find a satisfactory answer. As he pondered over the matter, the boy’s eyes shrank into slits.

Meanwhile, the other two boys attempted to speak but Aanya shushed them with a shake of her head. Within a few short minutes, Aakash’s eyes brightened but the moment he raised his head to give voice to his thoughts, his eyes met those of Aanya’s.

A flash passed between his eyes as he seemed to realise something and he blushed.

“What?” Aanya prompted, noticing her friend’s hesitation.

“N-nothing. I-I don’t know the answer. You tell me.” Aakash mumbled, words rolling off his tongue quickly.

A light frown creased the young girl’s face. Aakash wasn’t the type to not speak out his opinions in general and she was well aware of this characteristic.

Just as she was about to call him out, she noticed his red-suffused cheeks and drew out a conclusion.

“Ah, his reply probably has to do something about public exposure of intimacy. And mainly boys do get ashamed to speak of similar topics with girls. And it’s especially likely with our straightlaced Aakash.” Aanya had always trusted her gut and with her knowledge of Aakash’s nature, she knew she was right on the mark.

Casting a sidelong glance at Cabir and Harshil, who were poking questions Aakash, no doubt having noticed his hesitation too, she decided not to voice her thoughts out loud, to avoid embarrassing the boy who was clearly not very accepting of their thought process.

Deciding to try to quell his doubts in her own way in the course of her conversation, Aanya nodded, “Okay, I’ll continue then.”

At the sound of her voice, the trio quietened down and let her helm the conversation again.

Pulling a desk and settling herself comfortably on it, Aanya began forthrightly, “Everyone has different morals. Aakash, you love reading novels with well-developed characters. Do they all have the same moral values? No. Everyone has different thoughts; maybe because of culture, upbringing or some other circumstances. But does that mean only one thought process is right?”

“…no.” Aakash voiced after a short pause.

“Exactly. You can’t call sex bad; that’s illogical. Physical intimacy is nothing to be ashamed of, either. Rather than feeling it’s ‘immoral’, I’m willing to bet that what you feel is ‘shame’. Ashamed of someone exposing their privacy and revealing intimate contact to the public eye.”

Hearing her words, Aakash sat up straighter, as if a lightning bolt had struck his spine. Noting his reaction, Aanya allowed herself a secret smile; she had been right on the money.

“But shame is indoctrinated. It’s their decision, their life, why should you, the watcher, feel shame about it? It’s not our right to decide someone else’s choices in life; what is shameful, what is not- that decision is theirs. Am I right?”

“Yes.” Aakash nodded. “But the discussion is about watching porn and not-”

“Isn’t that the thing? Watching is what we are talking about and the watcher is the person who either feels shame or does not feel so. Think about it,” Aanya smiled and continued. “If all there is to it is the feeling of shame then, morality definitely doesn’t play a part in watching pornographic content.”

As Aakash let out a light gasp of realisation, Aanya simply shrugged.

“Deriving pleasure by watching porn? Rather than taking it as shame, most people, just as you did, view it with a moral lens. Of course, there are arguments as to why it can be so, even you must have thoughts that you aren’t voicing in that respect but here’s the rub. That is purely a subjective matter!”

Letting out a light breath, she resumed, “Everyone can have different views on watching and enjoying such content. So, calling it good or bad isn’t something you can decide all on your own. You only speak for yourself. Yes, much of the older generation regards it as wrong, but that’s their values talking.”

Aakash who had begun to grudgingly nod, became stock still hearing the last line.

“So, we shouldn’t have values?”

“That’s not what I mean.” Shaking her head, the teenage girl explained slowly, trying to think things through for her own sake too, “I just mean that we have our own set of values. Our generation is different from the older generation. We don’t understand some things they do and the same is true for them. I am not debating whether it’s okay for us to watch porn here with you.”

She raised a finger to her lips as Aakash opened his mouth and continued, “It’s that we think differently. Some things are indisputably wrong, like harassing or thieving etc. If you tell their parents these two did that, you’d be correct. Maybe you would be in the right if you tell them about these two watching porn-”

“Hey!”

“I’m talking.” Aanya just spoke two words before disregarding Harshil and Cabir’s discomfort. “But even if you think watching porn can adversely affect them and are just trying to help, you might end up doing the exact opposite. Forcing your values on someone is wrong, isn’t it Aakash?”

After a minute of silence, a long sigh resounded from the front of the black-haired girl.