“One loss is not something we blame to ourselves or to others. The only way in this world is to accept it. As painful as it is, this is the reality.”

▪ ▪ ▪

November 3, 2017, Friday.

Eight days have passed since the death of the class representative of Class 4A, Akaji Mashido.

To summarize what happened, he was killed in the vicinity of the school by three of our classmates in the name of Stefan Carillo, Eissen Lochry and Marcus Rodriguez. They are now all in the custody of the department that rehabilitates minors.

Unfortunately, the three of them got expelled and they can never come back to Blue Ink High, as per the principal’s decision.

It is now Friday and the same scene is present for the fifth school day.

“This doesn’t look like a surprise anymore.” Akira expressed his worry over surprise upon seeing what has happened every time they enter the classroom.

“But it’s kind of over the top now. It’s already been five days since.”

“You’re right, Jean.

It seems that Akaji’s death struck them really hard… as well as Tenth’s speech, if I were to guess.”

“Ah, good morning, Sakato-san." Ryou greeted, sat on his desk.

“Mornings are not good in Blue Ink High for the fifth day now. But good morning anyways, Yugare-san.”

It’s really not that rare for Ryou to greet me every morning; more so, communicating with me in school in that appearance. Our communication got a lot more frequent because of our surroundings for five days.

Why is that? It is because the only present students of Class 4A for this whole week are the members of the Art Club, including me; and the employees of Anew and their subject, including me too, I guess.

That sums up to eleven students only.

Kiiro-sen already did a lot of work and we all know that he already exhausted himself by going from house to house to check up on the absence of the remaining students.

Especially Murasaki, who is suffering more than enough.

“It feels like this is not Class 4A anymore.”

“The superlative level of silence, Ringo.”

“Well, this will never be the past Class 4A onwards.” I concluded.

“What makes you say that, Gin?”

“Intuition.”

“Wait, am I the only one thinking that our classroom is just like the embodiment of Akira Bentley?” as if so nonchalantly, Nagi jested.

“Now that you say it, yeah.”

“Scary. So Akira Bentley possessed the classroom instead of a human. Sca~ry.”

With his earlier joke not interpreted well, he added that and finally changed the mood.

“Pfft… Hahahaha!

You’re jokes are on point today, Nagi.”

“Oi, Jean… What was that about?”

«Akira obtained a skill—Murderous Gaze.»

Offensive attack; without touching an enemy, he can plummet down their HP for five seconds.

What a deadly skill, but it takes up a lot of mana.

“Hey~ Yugare-san! Want to have lunch with us again?”

“At the rooftop?”

“Yeah, there’s no one in here except from us anyways. Might as well join us with lunch regularly.”

Nagi seems to be a bit livelier today, I observed that he's the one that invited the one's from the North. Well, I guess we all know why.

Hmm… I have an idea.

“Do you have anything to do after school, Yugare-san?”

“That is, if you know what I mean, Ryou.”

Quick translation of what I have said: “Do you have any work today?”

“…

Nothing in particular. Why?” he understood the message.

“I was thinking of inviting you to hang out in our clubroom. A change of pace, perhaps.

It’s almost the weekend and besides, the past few days were killing us. No pun intended.”

“Hmm… What do you think, guys?” he then turned asking the others.

“Sure.”

“How about you, Ryuuya-san?”

“…

It’s fine, I guess.”

So Kaizo’s the type to act like a tsundere before answering. I can’t blame him for that, though.

▪ ▪ ▪

After school.

“Wow. Your clubroom is so cool~.”

“Yeah, right. Mitsumi-san.”

“Since we’re just the members of this club, we are also the ones in charge of maintaining this room.”

“Most of the materials here were provided by the school, but since we took over this room for us, we mainly use our club budget for the most part.”

Rin and Jean explained unnecessarily.

“Well, have a seat, our lovely visitors. Let me just prepare some tea for all of you.”

All of their eyebrows rose up as they were looking at me with confusion. If an eye can speak, it will probably say: “What the heck?”

“Uhh… Gin? Since when did we have tea in the clubroom? I can’t see any teabags here…” Akira let out.

“Meh… Don’t fuss on it too much.”

With every glorious step I make, I made my way onto my own desk and opened the drawer that instantly released a reek of raspberry afterwards.

“I got this tea when I was doing my shopping a few days ago after my pay. I thought the clubroom would be livelier if we have something like this.

Besides, it’s winter so why not?”

Fascinated by the thought, Rin raised her right hand as her glimmering eyes of excitement looked at me intently.

“Should I also buy scented candles some time, Gin?”

“Great idea, Rin.

Then I’ll go with you to buy those.”

Jean gazed at me as if his look was saying: “You damn couple,” in his agony.

“I guess it would be boring to just watch us, huh.

Then why don’t you join us as we practice? We have A4 in here.”

Nagi stood and walked to the shelves containing different sizes of brushes and storage of black ink as he spoke that made Kaminari-san ask him.

“Are you sure?”

“Not a problem. We bought a little too much of the papers anyway.

And I hope that this club will still exist when we become seniors.”

“Then we’ll take up your request.”

~ ~ ~

“I forgot that Mato-sen is not around today.”

“I have the keys so don’t worry, Nacchi.”

“Time’s up!”

45 minutes passed since we started our practice with the adults. Just with the first look, I can already see different styles that they created.

I first looked at Yugare-san’s work.

I already noticed a wise choice of using rich colors of the watercolor on the paper. He portrayed a mountain with the foreground of snow-covered trees. It’s lacking a bit of depth but overall, it was a scenic artwork.

If I were to say, it was so like Bob Ross.

…

I expect no less from Mitsumi-san.

I don’t get it but at the same time I did. She drew a sketch of Astolfo from Fate/Apoc*ypha. But what came to my mind first is a 25 year-old working Japanese employee drawing-

“It’s a trap!”

Akira blew my narration.

“Hehehehe…”

I’m starting to wonder if she’s really a legitimate high school student or not.

But Kaminari-san’s creation piqued my interest. It’s a Japanese temple drawn with strokes of black ink with the addition of some Japanese characters made with calligraphy.

I suddenly remember that calligraphy is studied in the North.

“Hoo~ That’s seriously cool, Kaminari-san.”

“Well… Thanks.”

I don’t really know what sort of work the employees of Anew really do, but it’s like they are ready for everything, especially Itori-san.

I kind of want to take home and frame what she made.

Because it was a portrait of Rin.

“I am absolutely stunned.” I shamelessly declared.

“What the…

Oi, Gin that’s so biased!”

And then a crumpled paper from Nagi came to hit my nose.

But while I was stepping back, I saw Ryuuya-san’s. A bruised hand is what he drew. Somehow, it felt like it was connected to him knowing that he had an unpleasant experience in the past.

“Traumatic, I guess.”

~ ~ ~

With club activities ending, we locked the clubroom and returned the keys to the office.

And as I step out of the office, I saw Ryou who is sat on the bench of the old tree.

“Hey there.”

“Sakato-san.

I guess we should at least have a little chat.”

“Yeah.

We could before they come back from getting a grub.”

“Then I’m going to ask you, Sakato-san.

Do you think that you failed?”

Without any students near our area, we can freely talk without restraints of his identity.

The clouds already took over half of the sky but the orange light of the sun has not yet vanished. Then the snow finally fell.

“In a way, yes.

There are still lingering regrets that haunt me even when a few days have already passed since his death.

It’s a fact that we saved a lot of people, but one.

In the eyes of this world, Akaji was considered as a sacrifice to create a change.”

“A catalyst… so to speak.”

“Close enough. But what really made me infuriated was the reality that ‘to save something, one must be lost.’

But I don’t blame anyone, not even myself.”

“Then why did you help the principal in this project?”

I took a deep breath to erase my troubled face and loosened my grip from my hands and toes.

“It’s because I can’t bear to see them smile, and that's why I want to stop that. My classmates’, I mean.”

“Their… smile?”

He was confused. He thought that it should be the opposite—that I would want them to smile. It could be the case, but not entirely.

“Their smiles are so bright and vivid. They’re full of happiness.

Just like the people said that ‘young ones should live their lives to the fullest.’

But at least one will probably know—that those smiles can bring them conflict. I’ve already seen it many, many times; their happiness is slowly corrupting them.”

“And is that why you deliberately distanced yourself to the class?”

“So you noticed. Indeed, that was the reason.

Their smiles were corrupted already, and I don’t want mine to be like that.”

“Now that you say that, I haven’t seen you smile inside the classroom. Actually, the first time I saw you smile was in your clubroom.”

“I don’t need to live my life to the fullest. I have those five friends. Besides, they are part of the reasons of my happiness.

I have already experienced chaos before I came to be like this.”

“…

How about the time you first saw Mashido-san’s corpse? Weren’t you bothered at least?”

“About that. I-“

“I’m used to seeing corpses, anyways.”

Is what I almost said.

“I’m bothered, of course. But then again… I wonder if someone without humanity will be.”

I really hate myself for not being so fazed…

“I guess that’s how we are. Some people can’t stomach seeing people like that; not even inside a coffin.”

Our conversation was interrupted by an echoing shout coming from the school gates.

“Hey~ Snacks are here, Gin, Yugare-san!”

“Coming!

Maybe we could continue this conversation some time.”

“Probably. But I was amazed with you, Sakato-san.

Even at the age of 16, you already have a very good understanding of the world that made you become matured.”

“Call it a bit of wisdom. But I also have others that share their experiences to me, and that’s how I learn.”

“Very well.”

I felt that my phone from my left pocket vibrating. I got a message from the principal.

“Can you come to the office?”

“A message?”

“Yeah, please tell them that I’ll join them later. I’m being called in the office.”

“Ah… Okay, then.”

~ ~ ~

“Tenth, are you there?”

“Come in and have a seat.”

This is the first time we have talked since we went to Akaji’s wake. He’s really busy since then so I can’t contact him.

“So…”

“What do you want to do from now on, Gin?”

“Huh?”

“I’m asking about what you’re going to do after everything that has happened.”

“Oh…”

“Well, I’m not forcing you to answer now.”

“No, I have my answer.”

He blinked twice without taking his gaze away from me.

“Hmm…”

“First is probably visiting the base with you. I’m sure that you haven’t been there for ages.”

“Yeah, I haven’t, so that may be a great opportunity to reunite with them. But what do you mean by that?”

“I also wanted to meet them, of course. I’ve never seen kind people like them in my life. So my answer is…

I will be a ‘resurfaced.'”

“Uhm… what do you mean?”

“I will become an Exile.”